Weekly Prompt #13: Do you find it difficult to embrace your imperfections and acknowledge your strengths?
Hello everyone, I hope you are all being easy on yourself this week.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed: Do you feel pressure to constantly achieve and excel at work due to anxiety Thank you to all who participated and shared their thoughts for discussion. I enjoyed them. I hope you all did too. If you didn't share yours, please share them here and I look forward to reading and discussing them with you.
This week's prompt: Do you find it difficult to embrace your imperfections and acknowledge your strengths? What are your thoughts on self-acceptance and self-compassion?
This week I want us to reflect and explore this topic that can help foster a sense of self-worth and reduce the impact of negative self-judgment. Let's get started and all thoughts are welcomed!
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I can say what I'm good at but every time I do I add something bad to it. Almost like I don't deserve a compliment. Components make me anxious and people in my real life no longer give them to me.
I found the kindness contract helpful for self-compassion and self-acceptance. A kindness contract is where I write what I want from myself in a non-judgmental no pressured way that makes failure a good thing as well.
@AutiBoy Thank you for sharing about using kindness contracts. It sounds like you're working on self-compassion, which can be challenging but important. You are dedicated to growth in a healthy way. Please continue being gentle and understanding with yourself. How does focusing on your strengths and achievements while also accepting any shortcomings make you feel?
Short awncer
Stronger, confident, grounded, in the now, pride and focused
Long awncer
It's helpful it makes me feel stronger because I always find something to be proud of and it gives me so much confidence. It turns what used to be a spiral of self hate into a look I done this right/well and I'm going to work on this so it doesn't happen again. It helps me focus on what I can control/do to make it better rather then what's gone and done.
@ASilentObserver yep embracing your imperfections is really hard. I mean like body image. It would be nice to look like a normal 22 year old girl. But my spine is broken and not completely fixable. They amputated my legs cause they become dead weights. My owners cut of half my fingers. And my body is covered in burns and whip marks and rude words cut in my body. My self image is pretty low
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you for sharing your story with us. Dealing with such difficult circumstances and injuries is immensely challenging. How have you worked to accept and care for yourself through this painful experience? You have shown tremendous strength and perseverance.
@ASilentObserver I'm very lucky I'm safe now and living in a care home. Where I get 24 hour care. Thanks to my carers and health workers, I'm slowly learning to not be so embarrased of the way I look ❤
This came at the perfect time!
I regularly have intrusive guilt and shame over the fact that I’m not perfect and I can’t please everyone around me. I just want to make people happy but I also rely way too heavily on external validation in order to feel accepting of myself.
That external validation is very fleeting. I wonder if building self-worth will bring longer lasting effects and help me forgive myself as easily as I forgive others. I’ll definitely be pondering this and maybe even write a bit more on it.
Thank you Obs ☺️🙌🏻💜⭐️💚🌹
@spicyavocado3788 It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of inner pressure to meet expectations. Building self-worth from within instead of relying on fleeting external validation could bring more lasting peace. Simply being present with how you feel in this moment may also provide comfort. What aspects of yourself would you like to appreciate more fully?
Yes because on one hand you can have your weakness used against you , it’s when you trust someone you are able to be vulnerable - from my own exp ❤️
@GoldenRuleJG It sounds like vulnerability and trust are deeply connected for you based on your own experiences. What were some of the important lessons you've learned about yourself through those experiences?
The things I’ve learnt are basically from childhood “Never give anyone the chance to complain about you”, “Good communication is about being good at judging the vibe of the person, having manners”. “People won’t always be honest - you cannot take peoples word for it “, “People prefer the short not the long story”. Trust is seen in similarity and how you see certain individuals interact with others; maybe a big indicator of how they may treat you ❤️
@ASilentObserver Yes. Mainly because I have grown to greatly dislike flaws & imperfection in general...the only exception I make is in works of art. In art, imperfections are part of what gives a piece its character &--if done well--its merit.
As humans are inherently imperfect, I have no patience for most of them (including myself). If a sentient AI ever emerges & we face a Skynet-type situation, I will root for the robots.
@slowdecline48 Thank you for sharing your perspective. It seems a dislike of imperfections weighs heavily on you at times. You seem frustrated, and understandably so. While imperfections are part of living, focusing on our shared humanity can help reconnect us. How does this affect your daily experiences with others?
That's a hard question to answer... It's possible that my intolerance of human imperfections may contribute to my tendency toward solitude. These days I'm trying to get out more & be sociable, but it's difficult. People who are interesting to talk to are few & far in between, at least to me.
Sometimes I don’t always feel good enough. I do the very best I can but still it’s not enough.
@Derekfan7695 I hear you on feelings of not being good enough. Those feelings can be difficult to endure. You mentioned doing your very best - is there any part of that best that you're proud of or feels satisfying? Please know we are all here with you Derek.
@Derekfan7695 Try to remember this: doing your best is all you can do, because you are only human.
You are not a god. You're not some kind of divine force in human form or anything close to it. None of us are. We are humans; as such, we are flawed creatures indeed. Do you think that an imperfect creature can perform a perfect action or create a perfect thing? It's impossible, Derek...the very notion is absurd.
Once you accept that you are an inherently imperfect creature (by whatever standard of perfection you're going by), then seeing results less than what you'd hoped from your own efforts might not be so difficult to handle.
I know this post is over a month old, but the topic interests me, so I’d like to post my reply here.
Yes, I do find it difficult to embrace my imperfections and flaws at times. I often tend to remember the past mistakes and errors I have made, causing me to feel even worse about myself. I do have strengths but I notice that I always tend to underestimate them and focus more on my flaws.
I am trying to become more self-accepting towards myself. My family and friends often tell me to see the good in myself and not dwell over my flaws, as everyone has them.
@crispPurple129 I am glad you decided to share your thoughts with us, Purple. It sounds like focusing on past mistakes causes you a lot of distress. Your friends see your strengths, and it can be hard to accept kindness from others. Their caring support shows how you positively impact those around you. How you typically talk to yourself about your perceived flaws?
This is probably one of the hardest things for me to do. I can build up people around me and accept their flaws and imperfections much easier than I can for my own. There’s a disconnect here that I struggle to maintain.
@ASilentObserver Do you find it difficult to embrace your imperfections and acknowledge your strengths? What are your thoughts on self-acceptance and self-compassion?
I honestly do find it difficult to embrace my imperfections and acknowledge my strengths. I think self-acceptance and self-compassion are key to improving and in order for us to be able to see things more positively
@KateDoskocilova I hear you, Kate. It's understandable to find embracing imperfections and acknowledging strengths difficult. Focusing on self-acceptance and compassion seems like an insightful view. You doing your best and seem aware of the importance of working on seeing things in a more positive light.