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impartialPlum5477
1,284 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 23 Compassion hearts73 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceAugust 19, 2023
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Unlovable
Depression Support / by impartialPlum5477
Last post
 February 3rd
...See more Hi all! I hope everyone is okay. If you’re here that means it’s a safe space if you aren’t, and I’m glad you’re able to be here with me so we can get better together. I struggle with a lot, I internalize a lot of my feelings and thoughts. I struggle with depression and anxiety, I’ve been diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, ocd, and adhd. I don’t take medication, so my days can be a struggle but I try to find something rewarding each day. The reason I’m here is no matter how much I can support someone else, so can’t seem to give myself that same energy. Often times I find myself unlovable, and I cannot love myself. I cant accept myself, or why anyone would want to be around me. It sounds vain I’m sure, but in all honesty it’s such a weight to carry never feeling good enough. Why can I find it so easy to accept and love someone else, but can’t give myself that same thing? Does anyone else have this issue? Im struggling to hold on. Some tips would be helpful on what you all do to feel validated for yourself so maybe I can try something new? Thank you for listening and I look forward to reading your replies 💙
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Again
Self-Harm Recovery / by impartialPlum5477
Last post
 September 4th, 2023
...See more It’s been a while since I’ve picked up a sharp object. For a while I would hurt myself when I was younger, then picked up a knife after a breakup vowing to myself I’d never do it again. Here I am, again, after hurting myself. I struggled with telling myself I’m unworthy. While I’m aware that’s not true I still can’t help but feel empty. I always feel empty around my birthday as I’m constantly reminded no one cares about me like I care about them. I am upset I broke my vow to not hurt myself again. Does anyone have any tips that last to prevent this from happening?
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Not really sure?
Work & Career / by impartialPlum5477
Last post
 August 28th, 2023
...See more Hi all, this isn’t something I’m used to. Sharing my feelings or innermost thoughts. I’m used to being told they aren’t good enough or valid enough or comprehensive enough, but I’m trying to break away from that. I’ve been having an overwhelming urge to want to delete myself. Before you say I matter because every person matters I don’t think I do? I was the only planned kid in my family (second oldest out of five), and my entire life I’ve been their glue. I get to high school and I’m the “mature” one out of the group. I get to college and I’m the “mom” friend. Now I’m a grown adult about to have my 32nd birthday and my heart aches at how I don’t have a family of my own, and I just recently broke up with my long term boyfriend due to immense betrayal. I don’t feel I matter. I feel like I’m supposed to support everyone else and that’s made me realize I don’t know what makes me happy, so what’s the point of trying? I’m in a situationship with a married man whom I know I have no real future with. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be happy. I don’t feel I have a purpose. And I’m struggling not to cut myself. I did a few months ago and felt like garbage, but these negative feelings have been swarming my mind. I exercise daily to try and put these thoughts off, I journal, I try to connect with “friends” and my siblings but I still have this gaping hole in my life. I don’t know what else to do. Feels I’m grabbing at straws here trying to find my purpose and I keep falling short.
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