Ramblings 3

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂 it's ok, you can ask me their names as often as you like, I know your not great with stuff like that ❤❤ my name is Lola ❤  after I was rescued, one of the nurses in the hospital, would sit with me for hours, keeping me calm, and talking to me about things. She mentioned if she had a daughter she would have named her Lola. I didn't have a name, so I chose Lola ❤❤

❤️❤️Lola is a beautiful name. ❤️❤️

Love

Overflowing

Loveliness

Abound

@Tinywhisper11

❤️❤️ Lola is a beautiful name ❤️❤️

Love

Overflowing

Loveliness

Abound

@Iamwhoiamwhoami awwww ❤❤❤ that's really sweet ❤❤ I'm not asleep yet 😁 I changed my pfp to pass time ❤

@Tinywhisper11

pfp ? What is that?

@Iamwhoiamwhoami my profile picture. The little photo that comes up by my name ❤

@Tinywhisper11 it's so small you probably can't see it, I think if you press on it, it gets bigger ❤

The time just moves so slowly, watching the second hand on the clock and it doesn’t seem to even be moving at all. I turn and look at the digital clock and mark the time down, ok, I turn back around and watch the second hand again, strange but it seems to be in the same place as before. It still seems like it still is not moving. I focus on the whole clock and the time is way off.

I hobble out of bed and over to the clock and take it down and test the battery and imagine that, dead battery, no wonder the second hand wasn’t moving. So I install a new battery, set the time , and fight with hanging back up it on the wall.

Once again it seems like the second hand isn’t moving . I compare the time with my digital clock again and the time is already off a couple minutes.

So, once again I hobble out of bed, to the clock take it down and test the battery….yes you guessed it, dead. I test the next new battery and it is good. I repeat the process of adjusting time, hanging the clock and crawling into bed. I glance at the clock and lo and behold time is progressing again, still slowly but moving.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂 stupid clock😁 to me time doesnt have much meaning, my clock goes by what my body is feeling. It's a nice way to live not having to watch the clock. Although if I didn't have people doing everything for me, time would become a neccessity.

hey did you manage to get a new pair of glasses after?? I'm not sure if you can order them over the phone where you live?

@Tinywhisper11

I remembered the new safety glasses that were in my work truck. I stumbled my way to the truck and brought them in.

I have to schedule an appointment with an eye doctor and go in town to see them and get a new prescription, then I can order new glasses. I could chance ordering a new pair or two on the current expired prescription but these are not as helpful as they once were. If I break these right now, I would have to order a pair or two just to get by. ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami awww bless you, thank God for the spare pair in your truck ❤ yes, eyes are very important to get checked, but we can worry about that, when your better ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

Tiny - think of that. In heaven we're out of time - no time there!

@Helgafy oh that's right ❤ there is no time in heaven, maybe part of me is already there ❤🙂

@Helgafy Helga, when we get to heaven, we will all still know each other and be friends won't we??

@Tinywhisper11

Helga, when we get to heaven, we will all still know each other and be friends won't we?

Of course Tiny. We'll all be surrounded by the wonderful light and love of God. The Bible teaches: There will be no sun because God himself will be their light. An artistic friend of me said we'll all be around 25 (lol!) - because then we're fully developed. At 27 on this earth we start to get old already - some grey hairs etc. (lol). Newton is famous for his teaching of physics. He taught that here our dimentions are length, hight, breadth and time. (But he also said that everything is relative - that's another big lesson).

@Helgafy your wisdom and faith, makes my faith stronger, I have so much to learn from you ❤❤ I'm really glad we'll all still be youthful friends in heaven. And I believe our disabilities will be gone too. You will be free of all the pain, and be able to walk around and live a good life ❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami ok I'm gonna try sleep again ❤❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤ and just so you know, I think your amazing, I love you ❤❤ I'll message you as soon as I can ❤

@Tinywhisper11

I hope your sleep is peaceful and full of joy ❤️❤️❤️

💕💕💕 I am enjoying being wrapped in your loving arms 💕💕💕I love you 💕💕💕

@Iamwhoiamwhoami sleeping in hospital is so hard🙁🙁🙁🙁 but I'm gonna go try again, I'll read your other message, probably in half hour, when I'm bored of trying to sleep again😁❤❤ hugs you goodnight ❤ 

❤️💕💕💕❤️ You have such a warm soothing embrace ❤️💕💕💕❤️. Sweet dreams ❤️💕💕💕❤️

I think that brief “live” description of one simple thing in my daily life, gives a general sense of how the rest of my life goes. Completing that task once was beyond physically exhausting and painful, but twice and realizing in the process that once again I am a moron.

How am I expected to take care of myself when this is my latest reality. I mean, seriously, I have already put my meals in the microwave for the few minutes that it takes to heat them up. And after a couple minutes I look over at the microwave and it is not running. I get up tap the time to cook in again, start it and hobble back to bed , a few seconds after I am in bed I hear a beep and I glance at the microwave and once again it is not running, I must not have pushed start, that is what the beep signified was the time I entered going back to clock time. I get up and actually use my walker for the short distance because I can barely stand, I get to the microwave, enter the time and push start I actually watch the light come on and the turntable spin before I turn away and hobble into bed.

That has happened several times lately. If that keeps happening, maybe I will actually lose some of this overfilled spare tire above my waist.

Even with the medication journal I started, there are too many times I have old timer napped and when I wake and regain my senses a bit I check the journal and there’s a missed entry, yet I am sure I took the medication around the correct time. So because of this I tweaked my medication schedule a little, my nerve meds are 3 times a day and my main pain pills are 4 times a day , I am still trying to get it so that both are 3 times a day , my pain level has fought me on that but hopefully I will get it there . At least that way with daily organizers 3 times a day can be visually seen, but with my current schedule it is like six times a day and I haven’t found an organizer that works for that many different times, at least ones that are on the mid to lower price range.

Maybe, just in case I am forced to live a few more years, I maybe should look into something a little more expensive. The older I get , the few things I actually try and address with the doctor, the more medications, by that I mean the quantity of medications increases, along with the variations of time schedules. But that probably would end up with all the other pill dispensers I already have packed away.

Focus fading fast.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂 awww bless you😂😂😂 it is quite comical though. You may be a moron, but your my moron, and I love you ❤ if I was healthier, I'd be your alarm clock and message you every few hours to remind you ❤

@Tinywhisper11

I am really trying to break up the monotony of my normal ramblings. But with my lack of focus and thoughts mainly running things, I figured maybe writing some of these things as they happen or after the fact if I can remember them at all. Maybe you and the others could find a little humor in my frustrations. Laughing at my failures doesn’t offend or bother me. If it did I wouldn’t be able to write here.

As far as messaging me, that would be highly appreciated, but unfortunately I only have myself to rely on.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕I love you 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

@Iamwhoiamwhoami yeah, I can't remember to message every few hours, my carers do all my timing, I wish I could help though

@Tinywhisper11

I really do appreciate that you want to help me. The reality is that you already are with the kindness in our conversations, the messages that you send me, You being my friend is helping me. Your love is helping me.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami ❤🙂❤❤ your just the cutest angel alive ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11 I'm glad you don't mind me finding humour in things ❤❤ i always make disabled jokes about myself too😁 if you laugh at yourself, you add 10 years onto your life, if you laugh at someone else, then your life expectancy will drastically shorten😂😂😂😂😂

@Tinywhisper11

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

In Haugesund where I lived the 18 first years of my life we had 2 houses. One in the city and one smaller by the fjord outside the city. There we were fishing crabs and fish with our nets. But - here is for you Iam. We had a watch hanging by the fire, it was like a small, brown house. Each hour an cuckoo came out and sang 1 or 2 or 12 times (it depended what hour it was during the day). I think you could have a small house like that with a cuckoo inside, opening the small door in the house and telling you coco - it's time for your med.

@Helgafy

It is surprising that you mention that. I have thought about trying to find a cuckoo clock off and on for many years. I have always decided against it for some reason though. I don’t remember why . I somehow remember one that had acorns hanging from the chains.

It is acorns that sprout into the big chunky things? I can’t even describe them, I can picture them in my mind, yet I can’t describe them in words.

@Helgafy

Actually I think what I was thinking of was pine cones, not acorns. The thinkings of a feeble mind.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Yes - pine cones are hanging from the chains.

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

Hi again.

I tag you here also, page 50 of Iam "ramblings". He always let us write on his thread. He has been very disappointed lately. His foot and back are bad. He went for 1 examination of it and thought that was the last thing to do before maybe operation. But the doctor said he had to be examinated one more time (4. or 6. of October). So he waits for that one. He has to stay strong! He and Tiny are writing love-letters here (a bit embarressing for the rest of us LOL!!!) I think they have become one person - not able to depart from the other - LOL!!! Sometimes Iam writes a bit of his transwoman coming up a little bit, but she is hidden deep inside.

@Helgafy 😂😂😂😂 ❤❤❤

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

Hi again. I think you read this one also about Iam. But I don't think you and he was in so much contact. (Page 50). 

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I have a pinecone in my window. It predicts the weather, my carers said it closes it's gonna rain, if it opens it's gonna be sunny. It might be the other way round I can't remember🤔🤔

@Tinywhisper11

That is so cool, I never knew that, I just use my arthritis. ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 yep that works too ❤😂😂😂

@Helgafy 😍😍 you had a cuckoo clock, those things are so cool. But so expensive. I really want one, but after the first week it would drive me crazy😂😂😂

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I can't wait to go home😁 I think my carers are coming to get me early morning ❤ I wonder if my piggies have missed me

@Tinywhisper11 I wonder if they've been being good while I was gone. Pig and sparrow probably were really well behaved. But runt can be a handful😁