Why do depressed people push loved ones away?

Sometimes we want to have some time on our own to analyse and validate our thoughts neutrally without other people interfering during the process, sometimes we are afraid to depend on other people emotionally, sometimes we are afraid of people leaving or hurting us that we choose to distance ourselves in order to ignore the pain and sometimes we are not able of forming healthy relationships with people and therefore we try to ignore our problems by fading away. There can be thousands of reasons to why a person chooses to push people away. Ask yourself, do you relate to any of the reasons given above?

Well, the major reason can be of hurting the person you love the most through your actions, fear of losing them in the worst state. Depression is an illness that many could heal and many still trying. In this state of mind, you distance yourself from everyone the reason can be that you feel extreme suffocation. People constantly ask you to talk, to smile, in which a person in this state can get exhausted. Fewer connections help them think and have time for themselves. Not everyone can be close and lovable, but there are flaws in everything. Many don't want their loved ones to see them in this state. Depression can be also the state where people don't believe you and accuse you of faking it or trying to grab attention which can lead to severe stress and mental exhaustion, they will tell that how colorful the world is but as they say you are color blind. I think this is the primary reason.

Depressed people push loved ones away for quite a few reasons. One reason for pushing loved ones away is to hide a side of oneself that one is ashamed of. The idea of not being able to manage one's own life and mental health is something that people on the outside are not always accepting of. Depressed people might push loved ones away because depression is altering their thought patterns and might lead one to no longer trust in loved ones or have hope that things will improve. Another reason might be that depressed people are looking to protect their loved ones by not exposing them to the traumas that they've experienced and by not giving them a burden in the form of them and their traumas. People listening to traumas can live vicariously through them and experience some of the emotions and stress as well on top of the stress and emotions that come with hearing about a loved one struggling altogeter.

Most people who suffer from depression tend to distance themselves from their loved ones. The reasons for this could range from feeling burdened or being hurt by someone to hurting someone or being hurt by someone in the past. People sometimes struggle to respond when asked how they are because they don't wish to let someone down because they're doing well or they don't want to divulge their true feelings. Moreover, many people are wary of getting attached to someone and struggle with trust problems, as well. Moreover, it can be very hard to open up to someone no matter how long they've known them, and they might also be afraid of what other people might think about them if they found out about their situation, if they would believe in them or not, or if the bond would still remain the same if their loved one finds out that they're depressed.

Sometimes, depressed people feel that they deserve to be left alone. They already have a lot going on and they feel so unmotivated to meet new people and talk to. They sometimes do not mean to push the loves ones away, they just want to be left alone... They don't want to feel like a burden to other members and that's why they get kinda defensive and pushy. They have moments where they feel sad over the things that have happened and try to deal with them on their own, something which is really hard as they have a lot already in their plate.

People who are depressed tend to question, ‘Am I depressed?’ a lot. As such, this has also happened to me. Although we ultimately understand that our loved ones have our best interest, when we feel depressed, with or without specific reason(s), we are oftentimes confused from the rumination itself. It’s not something we can explain to those we push away, thus we mostly just self-isolate to save ourselves from having the tough conversations. Negative thoughts grow at an exponential rate during these times, hence, thinking and simply believing that nobody likes being around someone depressed can be one of the reasons for pushing people away. Being so, we are constantly afraid that one might eventually become tired of our depressed self and leave us. Attachment issues and fear of abandonment can also be a factor of a tendency to drive people out when things are getting serious between two or more people. An approach that made me feel specially supported during those times was when a close friend decided to step up and talked to me in a way that didn’t require me to explain much of what it was that I was going through. Because honestly, I didn't understand it at that time either. I didn't feel pushed or forced to provide an explanation but I was reassured by their actions that there is someone who truly cares by showing patience and genuine care when dealing with me. And only then, I felt safe to open up with them slowly.

When someone is struggling with depression, their actions —like withdrawing from loved ones—are often the result of a mixture of emotions and thoughts which are complex. Depression may make an individual feel that they are burdensome or unworthy of love, hence they may pull back to keep those they care about safe from what they think is their own negativity or incompetence. Their fear of being criticized or being worriers usually make them behave like this. This sometimes amounts to trying desperately to protect loved ones from internally experienced anguish in hope that this might reduce their problems’ impact on people that they love. Gently approach them, support without pressurizing them too much and constantly remind them that even in their darkest moments, one can still love them.

Sometimes, because they would rather no one cares. If no one cares, then no one will stop you from hurting yourself or miss you.

Because they feel as if close ones may not understand, or that they may hurt their close ones if they did something.

Because it is very distressing to feel so low for so long, and they have lost hope of life and willingness to connect and try.

Because they're scared that the might find out they have depression &might not love them the sameway

Because they run away from everyone and anything. They don't seek for help in someone. They seek for help in themselves. Making the things worsr.

From my experience, it's because my depression comes with a feeling of guilt, self-worthlessness... so that I push close ones away because I don't want to be a burden, but deep down I know I need them...

Because they don't really care what anyone else says, they think no one cares usually and refuse to see it any other way.

They can feel like a burden, or even just be too tired to interact. People with depression tend to have low self-esteem and might not feel good enough/worthy of their loved ones. It can also be that they're scared of being judged or of pushing them away unintentionally.

Many depressed people often struggle to come to terms with what they are feeling specifically because they feel emotions that are triggered by their condition and not necessarily anything/one else. This is why when loved ones ask why they are sad/angry/hurt they push them away because they actually don't really know. It can also be that they don't want to feel even more hurt so they feel it best to just detach themselves from people so that they cannot hurt them. This is not for all people suffering from depression, just a few cases that I've seen.

I think that depressed people don't want to hurt others by showing then that they are feeling bad. It might feel easier just to push loved ones away than actually show them the true feelings you are feeling.

When your depressed you feel alone and like no one understands what's happening. You don't deserve love or help. So you push people away.

They feel as if they have nobody to turn to because they're so lost in themselves and they feel that nobody would understand what they're going through and they don't really know how to talk about it to anybody

Does it happen to your partner? Depressed people can sometimes feel very isolated and not worth interacting with others. They want to be left alone just because they have a lot to deal with.

Because the person in question feels as if they are a burden to their loved ones while the lack of having loved ones around is one of the things that can make you depressed.

Often times I've felt no one understands me or can relate. It's a shield to protect myself, as family often won't listen but give feedback. Sometimes when depressed you just need a listener.

I think it can be them trying their best not to hurt them for example taking anger out on them. it could even be them trying to push away every one in preparation for taking their own life and think it would be easier on their loved ones if they did't get along when they left. also when depressed many people can become ashamed of being in the state that they are in so many people try to cover it up and push any one away that might find out about their condition.

Depressed people tend to push loved ones away because they are afraid of hurting someone. Usually people feel like the people around them are gonna end up hurt if they continue to be around you. So to prevent this , depressed people tend to push people away, often resulting in this person being alone and lonely.

I mean I pushed people away because I didn't wanna hurt them when I was hurting. I mean when your depressed it seems selfish but to you its the hardest thing to deal with. Because everyone wants you happy and healthy. But all you wanna do is be alone yeah

When depressed, we tend to push our loved ones away because we prefer to carry our burdens alone. Sometimes we may be afraid to tell them what's wrong due to how they might react or respond.

Because one, with depression, only cares about oneself. We, with depression, only cares about what we are feeling and nothing else.

Because when we are so down, we are too negative about yourself and would prefer if we were left alone, we couldn't see the beauty in things and at times believing that we dont deserve them especially when we are a wreck. But we all do need someone in our lives :)

I feel I do it because I don't feel good enough I don't feel any self worth and want to be alone don't want them to see me that way. I hide. I block them out so they can't see me.

They they they don't care. That they don't understand your problems. You feel alone even though they are there.