OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here
Hello there everyone!
If you're reading this it means that you probably are quite fond of poetry and writing it to. This is a thread to post all and any poetry that you may have, be it happy, sad, angry or just silly. All styles are welcome (free verse, couplets, slam) and it would be great to have at least one poem up a day for all of us to enjoy together!!
Well Thanks for the wild ride I'm just not your thing. You're dissatisfied Left me bleeding on the side of the road. Oh no Promises you made filled with the lies you told It's never gonna be the same Now I found out who you are Left me bound and gagged Still living with all these scars Forever didn't mean a thinG Was I just misled? Another casuality Drowned in these tears I shed. I said Give me your heart so I can stop crying As I ache inside Im slowly dieng (can't breathe) It'll be okay (but I need) I can learn to live with All your mistakes (Your heart) Pain. That's what I feel. You left me here alone. And the hurt is real Because I'm suffocating on my own, Oh no Promises you made filled with the lies you told It's never gonna be the same Now I found out who you are Left me bound and gagged Still living with all these scars Forever didn't mean a thinG Was I just misled? Another casuality Drowned in these tears I shed. I said Give me your heart so I can stop crying As I ache inside Im slowly dieng (can't breathe) It'll be okay (but I need) I can learn to live with All your mistakes. (Your heart) This was actually a song I wrote a long time ago but I think it works as poetry too
Okay I put paragraphs but it didn't include them for some reason.
@smilewhenitrains87, as I read this poem, it got better and better, with more sophisticated style/approach. Iespecially love the parenthetical phrases--that just knocked me out.
You're really sweet Thank you. I wrote that after a breakup drove me to attempt suicide. But don't worry. That was over 5 years ago. I got help and I'm okay now. It took a long time for me to realize I don't need anyone to feel whole. happiness has to come from within yourself.
Dear@smilewhenitrains87, that is an amazing story. When I hear someone tell about the journey from despair to happiness, it iswonderfully heartwarming and inspiring. I am so impressed. Congratulations.
I am wondering. If you are willing to share it, I would be interested to know. Did the process of writing the poem help you cope with the pain?
The intensity of the emotions plainly helped you write a powerful poem. But did the process of pouring the emotions into print help you survive the pain of the breakup?
I don't really want to share it was a really long time ago and I don't want to go back to that place. But Thank you
Dear @SmileWhenItRains87, I respect your decision absolutely. Manytimes it is preferable to let things lie quietly and not rake them up unnecessarily. Again I appreciate that you shared the poem. It's powerful.
I make everyone happy as I can
Cos I don't want to see them being sad
I try to make them laugh with my bad jokes
If I can make someone smile then I feel happy inside
being happy is important feeling to have
Dear @DeafBlond25, there is a lot of truth in your poem.
It reminds me of the work that the listeners do here at 7 Cups--trying to help people feel better.
It's hard to live, In the shadow of guilt. How can i be brave While building my grave, Is there time while you smile, See me through, To my soul and pray, The tinted dark don't, Become black or gray. It's hard to breath, With the stone instead of heart. The life has change, Form bad to worse, Changing ; Ohhhhh ; Changing my ways ; For whom ; I don't know ; I don't want, How to be me. Than how can i change, Change my heart to red. It's really brave for coming so far, It's hard to live, In the shadow of guilt, With heart turning into shades of grey.....
@Amy1160, Love this. The images relating to colors really work for me. Iespecially the idea of seeing when a person is wearing the tinted glasses, expressed elliptically. And repeated with subsequent references to black and grey. And the concept of building a grave -- and breathing with stone instead of theheart. Strong.There seems to be a series of truncated, somewhat chaotic, expressions toward the end, which appear to reflect the poet's confusion and emotion.So much here, and more with each reading.
//fallout//
I.
all i want to be able to do right now is tell my story
i think it would help me start to heal
(finally)
but that?s hard to do
because I don?t even understand it myself
and i?ve never been all that good with expressing my feelings
i always preferred to etch them into my skin instead
because that way,
they were real
but i never had to utter them aloud
they were always too dark, too unfathomable
to be put into words
anyway
and now they?re permanent.
even if i wanted to forget them
(god, do i want to forget them)
i never can
and neither can the world when they?re on display
like this
II.
i spent my childhood with a hole in my chest
a hole i never noticed
(that is, i knew it was there but
i guess i just assumed that this was life,
that everyone else had one too)
and so i assumed my position -
a damsel who clutched her distress
like a security blanket laced with poison
until it started to choke me
III.
eight.
that?s how old i was the moment
i first began to self-destruct -
just a little scratch to quiet
the voices
telling little me how
worthless
she was
the funny thing is
it always felt normal
like this was what i was built for
like i was meant for the darkness
IV.
if you spend enough years
being told
(subliminally or otherwise)
by your head
your family
that asshole at school
your first boyfriend
and
all the wickedness of the media
that your body is wrong
thatyouare wrong
you start to believe it
and you take it upon yourself
(being the perfectionist that you are)
to correct yourself
and you relish the compliments
as you shrink
and it becomes harder to walk up the stairs
V.
they told me
sit down, shut up, close your eyes
and pray
man loves woman
you?re a sinner
sinner
and i listened.
the day i realized
what they?d done to me
i lost me
i still don?t know if i?ve found her yet
VI.
there were mornings
and afternoons
and evenings
when i forgot how to speak
and i flirted with the prospect of
not existing
because
the walls i?d built to prevent discovery
began to cave in
and my 2 am crimson screams
were never heard
(i?d hidden them well beneath my shiny exterior
and sleeves i clutched so tight
my knuckles went white)
VII.
now
my arms and thighs
are a roadmap i don?t quite know how to read
maybe i never will
VIII.
?better? seems so distant
but i don?t want to stay here
anymore
this darkness is so easy, so
comfortable
but it?s been my home for too long
it?s time i put up a fight
Dear @mckpunka,
WOW. I was enthralled from the beginning. The lines "i've never been all that good with expressing my feelings,i always preferred to etch them into my skin instead" made my breath catch. And the line about the damsel clutching her distress, wonderful! So many compelling lines. The whole thing packs a powerful punch. Just wow.
@mckpunka much of what you posted here gave words to things i could not voice. Another reason to share your poetry... to help others put words to their own pain... this helps us HEAL. and THAT is important. Thank you for being brave enough to share this.
I made this last night at 3.
we can dance on the rings of Saturn, and burn hotter than the sun. we were together forever, before the universe had even begun.
@funnyowl1380, I adore, ADORE the first two lines! The concept of dancing on the rings of Saturn is WONDERFUL--and the marked rhythm of these lines--and continuing the extended metaphor of planets/sun: spectacular!!
I sit alone
All by myself
And I know that I brought this on myself
I built a wall
To shield myself
From everyone that would leave
Thought no one really wanted me
So when they tried to leave
I opened up the door for them
And locked it when they left
I chased no one
No one
That was my big mistake
And now I've finally figured out
That I was all to blame
Maybe if I went after them
Maybe they would have stayed
@fallenangel, This made my heart ache.That is how it feels, to let someone go and then close up and lock the door. Wonderful poem.
to all the broken dreams and wasted years
to night after night sleeping on a pillow full of tears
to arguments that no one won
and family vacations that weren't all that fun
to expectations that couldn't be met
to unjust rules intended to protect
to all the time wasted while living at home
to parents by whom I'll probably be disowned
so long, farewell, good riddance
@defygravityXD, this hits me hard . . . . the arguments no one wins, the vacations that aren't fun, the expectations that can never be met . . . . I know we weren't the only kids to experience this, but to read it here. ~ Strong feelings.
@defygravityXD that sounds like living with a narcissist. but i could be wrong. well-worded with depth.
lgbtq
on my name-tag are written five letters
all in lowercase, no vowels
is this a word?
does it define me?
people tell me it holds meaning
they use big words
i don't understand
they push and prod me into a corner
where a herd of other people stand
wearing masks, all alike
every name-tag holds the same five letters
a mask pushed over my face
istand for hours
unable to see, to speak
as the world whirls around me
without me
then darkness
silence
the mask pulled off
My corner glows with color
illuminating the dark that was thrust upon it
no one speaks
breathing
living
quietly beautiful
I see value
I forget the five letters
Beautiful work! Hopeful story. It is always good to read an lgbtq story with a happy ending. Back in the day, that was pretty rare. We live in better times!
Dear @DefyGravityXD, I agree completely -- beautiful work. I love the strong but gentle voice in this poem, the breath-holding suspense as we follow the poet's journey, and I gottalove how the sunrise breaks forth at the end. Lovely . . . .
Grey clouds above my head
Teardrops in my heart
Unclaimed melodies
I must make a brand new start
Dear @TwoKindEars, I love this! It has a haikuesque feeling --spare language, brief butstrong natural images, and the departure line winging off in a new direction.
Thanks Annie! You are very perceptive! You are correct in everything you sensed
At first you didn't know
If it was right to feel this way
But the weeks turned into months
And still this numbness didn't sway
At first it was a solution
To feel once again
But then you felt to much
And the skin couldn't mend
At first you went away
Into an almost tomb
With white halls and bare walls
and a silence that boomed
But you came back stronger than ever
You picked yourself up at your worst
I know you can get better
Even if it didn't seem so at first
That wasbeautiful I'll try and write something in a few myself but dam, that was nice.
Dear @helpfulPlace9028, I LOVE the theme!! The ending made me smile sooo much . . . .
like a rat in a maze
I whittle and raze
till not a man is left
till all is theft and my life is forfeit
For I shant forget
That I can't, it was given
Of a man smitten
With a woman Wiccan
They gave birth to a villain
and gave me my place
Lost without a trace
filled with all the reminders
of old middle school binders
with horrible memories of hardships endured
memories of relationships I've abhorred
The lasting sorrow
till tomorrow
passing onward ever endured
This is a slam poem I wrote earlier this year about my past experiences with friends, titled lies. Please give constructive feedback. I love you. Why do you feed my desperate soul these lies? I see you huddled in a corner with your "so called friends." I know that as soon as you lose interest in them you'll mercilessly move on without a second thought. Most of them will not care, knowing it was all a farce, however, there will always be that one naive person who thought what they had was real but people will make fun of them and call them a fool when really she is anything but that... All because she believed in the friendship they shared. Heart torn out and ripped into shreds so miniscule that not even the most tender of hands or capable fingers can put it back together again. Betrayal fresh in her heart she seeks a new path; one of secrecy and caution. Even years later, the memories linger piercing her soul like a cats claw when it buries itself into the trees flesh, using it as a scratching post. These clawed memories are dragging her down the drain like quick sand. All she's looking for is acceptance in this cruel world of hate and misery. What used to be understanding gazes, turn into judgemental glares. Trusted figures turn into gargantuan monsters of rage. Towering over her cowering form crouched on the floor, they scream words like arrows repeatedly stabbing her. Laughter echoes around as they find her helplessly sprawled out on the floor in a puddle of her own blood. Wounds encircle her limp body, yet, even as she cries out for help, not a single being comes to her aid. She bleeds their words of torment desperatly searching for something solid to grab onto in this sea of turmoil. They remain ignorant and are blind to what they're doing to this once beautiful girl who is now covered in the scars of her past but must keep trudging up the steep road full of potholes despite the injuries that limit her not only mentally but physically as well. She is trapped, in her own cage of protection but the metal bars are burning her and its too late for escape. Unspoken words hang off her dry lips: a plea of help. Begging to be spoken not daring to be said, she suffers in silence as the world spins but to her everything is frozen. Time doesn't seem to pass, its always the same but on the inside she's wasting away, crumbling to dust. Whatever was left of that girl has now been blown by the wind.
Dear @WildRoseHorses,
Slam poetry is so interesting, and I lovethis one.
Given that slam poetry is performance poetry, I ordinarily find it isn't experienced best in print, which lacks the poet's vocal tone, pauses, pitch variations, volume variations, and (in some cases) anguished appeals to the audience.
But this poem has LOTS of power in print. The overall impact is wrenching ? I can only imagine what it?s like when you read it to a live audience!
For me, the strongest elements of the poem are the narrative elements rather than the metaphorical elements. What I mean is, I was impressed by the poet's ability to choose compelling moments within a string of events, and by the poet?s eye for the piercing detail to illustrate each moment. I was impressed by the poet's ability to perceive and select human feelings, actions and reactions to tell the story effectively.
With regard to imagery --the image of a heart torn out and ripped to shreds is not new, but the idea that the pieces are so tiny that not even the most tender hands and competent fingers can put the shreds back together? That image worked for me because it suggested that the person doing the shredding was extraordinarily thorough and energetic (and callous) in his or her destructive actions, and it further suggesteda level of injuryso devastating that love from others would not heal it, thus disabling the victim from responding to tender love in the future.
The severity of the damage is further portrayed by the reaction of self-protection: "Betrayal fresh in her heart she seeks a new path; one of secrecy and caution." That reaction rang soooo true to me!
There were other apt details that lent power, I felt. Although the idea that a merciless person would leave friends behind is fairly routine, the comment that most of them wouldn?t care anyway because they already knew it was a farce from the start -- that comment portrayed a group of cynical, world-weary young people ? chilling, in contrast to the trustful, warm, nae poet. Effective contrast, I thought.
In your intro to your poem, you requested constructive feedback, so I'll give some additional feedback, for whatever it?s worth --or not. There were a few things that caused me some slight confusion or double-takes until I could re-read and figure things out. For example, the line ?I see you huddled in a corner? initially brought to mind a person hunched over, alone, isolated or in pain ? but then it turned out that the huddle was like a tight team huddle excluding others. I don?t know if anyone else had a similar double-take moment. Also, the line about how they couldn?t ?put it back together again? had (for me) an unintended echo of Humpty Dumpty.In addition, the word ?encircle? gives me a sense of something external to the body ? a belt encircling a waist, for example. So the idea of the wounds encircling her body caused me to stall and re-read several times to get the intended sense of it.
There were other things that I found comment-worthy, but I?ve said more than enough! (Old teachers leave the classroom but the passion for literature and budding writers doesn?t leave!Please feel to send me a private message is you?d like to chat further about writing.)
Last, I think my favorite line was this one: ?Why do you feed my desperate soul these lies?? The idea of a ?hungry heart? goes back to Beowulf at least (and further, for all I know) and into contemporary music as well. But the marked rhythm of this line, together with the soul as desperate, had a strong impact.
Overall, this poem conveys a whirlwind of disillusionment and damagewith realintensity. Amazinglypowerful writingfrom such a young poet!Thank you for sharing it with us.
@Annie thanks so much!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to write this and I will use the feedback to improve what you said. I'm so happy that you enjoy my poem. Thanks again! :-)