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Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication

Heather225 August 27th, 2020

Please note: In order to successfully complete Course 2, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/shows that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and follow the instructions given. Save your responses to a document that you can later refer to. You will need to copy/paste your response in the course evaluation form at the end of each course to show that you have done the work and to refresh your memory.

Healthy communication is key!

Please watch this video.

Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.


This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.

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softMusic9759 August 28th, 2020

1. The silent treatment

2. Subtle insults

3. Procrastinating on Purpose

4. Sabotage (deliberately messing something up)

5. Keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)

I know that I personally sometimes end up doing #3: Procrastinating on Purpose. I don't mean to do it, sometimes someone may tell me to do something while I'm barely listening and I forget to do it, or if I go on my phone I end up forgetting to do the task asked of me. Watching the video, I understand that I should work on it and instead of just going along with it, I could tell the person that I'm busy right now or I can write it down for insurance.

1 reply
CheeryMango August 28th, 2020

@softMusic9759

I'm happy to hear that you were able to realize where you went wrong and are willing to do better for yourself and those who you interact with

1 reply
TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@CheeryMango

Yes! I definitely agree!


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Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@softMusic9759

heart That s a huge step! I am proud of you heart

PeaceLoveandPaws August 29th, 2020

@softMusic9759

I that that's an awesome goal!

azuladragon34 August 29th, 2020

@softMusic9759

Great answer

Tyedyedbutterfly65 September 2nd, 2020

@softMusic9759heart What I love is that you admit this and you are willing to work on this... we all have things we do and are guilty of and know we can work on things..

Hugsssss, Tye

1 reply
TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Yes! A lot of people fail to recognize their weaknesses! This is an awesome quality!


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smolecho September 2nd, 2020

@softMusic9759

I completely understand doing some of these things while not even meaning to.

1 reply
TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@smolecho

Yes, that is something we all often struggle with. That's why it's important to take a moment and reflect. Great point!

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SynSavory September 2nd, 2020

@softMusic9759

Sometimes we forget to do things, so I'm glad that you have the self-awareness to understand your limits. Over time, things can get better, especially if you know there is a barrier at play. Thank you.

1 reply
pamharley003 April 4th, 2021

@SynSavory

I know sometimes things get overlooked or forgotten. I try making a list of things so I have it and check off those that were done.

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CompassionateDreamer8522 September 10th, 2020

@softMusic9759 You did a great job by being honest here! I'm proud of you! <3

Beaconx September 13th, 2020

@softMusic9759

I am encouraged to hear your decision on how to handle such situation in nearest future

LittleBirdie30 September 13th, 2020

@softMusic9759 I think we all sometimes do things we don't mean to! I think it just matters that we learn from it and go from there :)

Endure777 September 14th, 2020

@softMusic9759

Endure777 September 14th, 2020

@softMusic9759

Great job! Keep it up!

shiningSound31 September 15th, 2020

@softMusic9759

Very Honest answer, Music yesheart

KatePersephone October 3rd, 2020

@softMusic9759 nice response!

peacefulWarrior10 October 4th, 2020

@softMusic9759

This is so understandable. My sister has always been that way and I know she doesn't mean to be that way. She commits without evaluating her capacity. It is great that you are aware of it. That's the starting point of improvement. All the best!

1 reply
TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@peacefulWarrior10

It's awesome that you reflect on your sister's intentions and know she ultimately doesn't mean to do harm!

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YoungMonastic007 October 11th, 2020

@softMusic9759

Really proud of you.

SofiaT2000 October 31st, 2020

@softMusic9759 That's a great answer! I understand that passive-aggressive behavior can be very hurtful as I have experienced this kind of behavior myself. You're amazing though and don't be sad about toxic people. Would you like to mention how this behavior can be damaging to our community taking into consideration your previous experiences as well?

Dinohorus November 14th, 2020

@softMusic9759

I like your proposed strategy of writing things down for "insurance" !

wanjiku November 30th, 2020

@softMusic9759

i like your honesty.

Ines1229 December 9th, 2020

@softMusic9759

I`m glad to see it has been anexperience that has taught you valuable lessons!

She13 December 16th, 2020

@softMusic9759 - that's great!

MyNameIsNicole January 6th, 2021

@softMusic9759

The first step is realizing your mistakes!

1 reply
TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@MyNameIsNicole

Yes! Realizing mistakes is the way to growth!

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beautifulSeal9714 January 17th, 2021

@softMusic9759

that is a honest post :)

goldenFriend9335 February 14th, 2021

@softMusic9759

Im super proud that you realize this and are working on it!

Kieran000 March 8th, 2021

@softMusic9759

Good answer!

gigantCloud92 March 8th, 2021

@softMusic9759

I appreciate your honesty :)

Chloe563 March 15th, 2021

@softMusic9759

Great goal! Well done

AdylynS March 20th, 2021

@softMusic9759

I definitly Agree!

Good Job!

thisisirene April 4th, 2021

@softMusic9759 great answer!

pamharley003 April 4th, 2021

@softMusic9759

I also procrastinate sometimes not knowing I am doing it, then kick myself down for not completing a task.

shiningSky3745 April 12th, 2021

@softMusic9759

Great answer

Enbyowl May 16th, 2021

I like your perspective and that’s good you were able to realize through the video what you need to work on

Brinaa101 July 9th, 2021

@softMusic9759

I agree! Procrastinating on purpose is a hidden form that not a lot of people realize!

TheGoodHeartedBuddy September 20th, 2021

@softMusic9759

Definitely a great reflection!


yourfriend5 September 28th, 2021

@softMusic9759

Procrastinating on Purpose is wrong thing to do

kindFish9215 October 7th, 2021

@softMusic9759

I'm happy to hear that you are currently working on limiting your habit of procrastinating on purpose.

NoelleListens February 27th, 2022

@softMusic9759

Great that you're working on self-improvement!!

PhoenixTears5972 June 21st, 2022

@softMusic9759

Thats a pretty practical and informative answer !

kenzolena August 6th, 2022

@softMusic9759

this is a good answer to the question.

- Lena

Josh3889 December 9th, 2022

@softMusic9759

Hello everyone,

1: The silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage & keeping score.

2: I would say that the most recent would be subtle insults. I feel like I am on both sides of them, really simple to say but really hard to understand.

3: I have to say that any type of aggression is damaging to our community. Being passive-aggressive will only undermine our goals & mindset here at cups.







5. Keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)

Immakindlistener22 December 16th, 2022

@softMusic9759

What I admire is the fact that you admit this and you are willing to work on this

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CheeryMango August 28th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

- Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

-Procrastinating on purpose and Keeping score

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

-Passive aggression is so damaging for out community because it is a form of dishonesty and it can actually erode the trust and communication that are so crucial to making a community work for the better

1 reply
Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@CheeryMango

heart That s true! Thank you for that response. heart

PeaceLoveandPaws August 29th, 2020

@CheeryMango

I never thought of passive aggressiveness as a form of dishonesty. Great insight.

azuladragon34 August 29th, 2020

@CheeryMango

So true

blissart August 31st, 2020

@CheeryMango

i agree mango, it erodes trust

smolecho September 2nd, 2020

@CheeryMango

I completely agree with what you said about how it erodes our trust and community.

Sandson September 4th, 2020

@CheeryMango

Great reply here Mango. Would you like to give an example from your life where the passive-agressive behaviors "Procrastinating on Purpose and keeping score" was used?

1 reply
CheeryMango September 4th, 2020

@Aleks2

Would you like to give an example from your life where the passive-agressive behaviors "Procrastinating on Purpose and keeping score" was used?

"Procrastinating on Purpose": This particular one continues to happen to me whenever I work in groups for my college assignment. Whenever I am assigned a group project, I take the lead over the group and assign each person a task to help us get the project done in a smooth and effective way. There was a group member who waited until the night before our project was due to say that they didn't know what was expected of them. We had countless meetings with each to ensure that everyone was on the right page and help clear up any confusion that they may have had. The member attended each meeting and made it seems as though they understood everything about their part, when in reality they didn't

"Keeping Score": This has been a common trend that I saw in my earlier friendships with others. As a person, I like to go above and beyond to help those who are near and dear to me. If someone is in urgent need of my assistance or if I have the time to spare to go and assist them, I would drop whatever it is that I am doing and go help them. You can say sometimes I put them before myself. I was used to doing this with a particular friend of mine and she used it against me each chance she got. I was unable to help her with an urgent matter due to me having to study for my exams. She was very upset at me for leaving her to deal with the matter on her own and said that I can't just stop offering my help to her because of my own matters. I had her accustomeed to me always being there for and when I wasn't able to one time, she made me feel horrible and as if I didn't matter.

1 reply
Dinohorus November 14th, 2020

@CheeryMango

Your example about group work was very pertinent. Great post!

BellatheHappyHelper January 26th, 2021

@CheeryMango

Amazing post! Very in-depth and well said! :D

Brinaa101 July 9th, 2021

@CheeryMango

This is a very in depth explanation! Thank you!

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bookworm274 September 6th, 2020

@CheeryMango

I like the comment about how it can erode trust and communication, very true!

Petrichor2000 September 7th, 2020

@CheeryMango yeah it's true. It's a form of dishonesty.

Irena0225 September 11th, 2020

@CheeryMango Great answer!

Beaconx September 13th, 2020

@CheeryMango

This is quite impressive

LittleBirdie30 September 13th, 2020

@CheeryMango I like how you worded why this is bad for our community! Good job!

shiningSound31 September 15th, 2020

@CheeryMango

Very correct, Mango! Communication is key to 7 Cups. Passive aggression makes the victim reluctant to communicate. So, this can be counter-productive for 7 Cups.

Yourstruly2000 October 2nd, 2020

@CheeryMango

i think its great that You can self evaluate yourself!!

KatePersephone October 3rd, 2020

@CheeryMango so true!

YoungMonastic007 October 11th, 2020

A different perspective. I liked it.

Anexmos December 9th, 2020

@CheeryMango

Very useful and well structured information. Thank you!

beautifulSeal9714 January 17th, 2021

@CheeryMango

so true :)

BellatheHappyHelper January 26th, 2021

@CheeryMango

i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)

BellatheHappyHelper January 26th, 2021

@CheeryMango

i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)

BellatheHappyHelper January 26th, 2021

@CheeryMango

i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)

BellatheHappyHelper January 26th, 2021

@CheeryMango

i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)

BellatheHappyHelper January 26th, 2021

@CheeryMango

i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)

gigantCloud92 March 8th, 2021

@CheeryMango

Well said!

Chloe563 March 15th, 2021

@CheeryMango

I agree Mango! Well done!

AdylynS March 20th, 2021

@CheeryMango

I love how you are soo honest!

Greta Job!

shiningSky3745 April 12th, 2021

@CheeryMango

Great answers

Readylistener April 15th, 2021

@CheeryMango That makes so much sense mango :)

Enbyowl May 16th, 2021

I totally agree that passive aggression hurts out community so much

DancingHeart4982 December 18th, 2021

@CheeryMango

This is an excellent answer!


NoelleListens February 27th, 2022

@CheeryMango

Great response!!!

PhoenixTears5972 June 21st, 2022

@CheeryMango

So truee !! 🙌

kenzolena August 6th, 2022

@CheeryMango

this is a really good answer.


- Lena

Immakindlistener22 December 16th, 2022

@CheeryMango

Right! Communication is key to 7 Cups. Passive aggression makes the victim reluctant to communicate. So, this can be counter-productive for 7 Cups.

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Daf8 August 29th, 2020

@Heather225

heart Hello! How are you? heart

heart The signs are the silent treatment, the subtle insults, procastinating on purpose, the sabotage, and keeping score. heart

heart I experienced all of them, but, personally, when people hurt me and the nice ways to solve it do not work, and they basically fail me, knowing it and being mean to me, I am capable of applying the silent treatment and the subtle insults. I do keep score, but I don t do anything about it, except when they fail me (for example, by knowing they are being mean) and the resolution skills don t work. Depending on the situation, I worry a little bit less about them (anyways, I still care). However, it s not usual to happen. heart

heart It is damaging because it messes up the comunication, the trust, and the supportive environment. It is poison. We are a caring, loving community. We don t need this kind of toxic actions, we need care, love and support. heart

6 replies
PeaceLoveandPaws August 29th, 2020

@Daf8

I agree that it makes for a toxic atmosphere to the workplace.

azuladragon34 August 29th, 2020

@Daf8

Awesome!!!

1 reply
Daf8 August 30th, 2020

@azuladragon34 @PeaceLoveandPaws

heart Thank you both! heart

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CheeryMango August 30th, 2020

@Daf8 I agree there is no need for toxicity to exist

1 reply
Daf8 August 31st, 2020

@CheeryMango

heart Exactly! Thank you heart

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blissart August 31st, 2020

@Daf8

excatly Daf, it creates a more toxic environment than help

1 reply
Daf8 August 31st, 2020

@blissart

heart I agree! Thank you heart

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SynSavory September 2nd, 2020

@Daf8

I dislike miscommunication myself. I think it's great that you have such profound thoughts on this topic. Very insightful.

1 reply
Daf8 September 3rd, 2020

heart @SynSavory heart

heart Thank you so much! I agree with you, kind Syn heart

yourfriend5 September 28th, 2021

@SynSavory

Sometimes miscommunication just happens but we have to sort it out asap

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bookworm274 September 6th, 2020

@Daf8

Definitely agree!

1 reply
Daf8 September 6th, 2020

heart @bookworm274 heart

heart Thank you! heart

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Petrichor2000 September 7th, 2020

@Daf8

I never thought of it in that way. Yeah it could be toxic.

1 reply
Daf8 September 7th, 2020

heart @Petrichor2000 heart

heart Thank you! I'm glad about it heart

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CompassionateDreamer8522 September 10th, 2020

@Daf8 I think you nailed our community goals on the head - especially how passive agressiveness can damage what we all work so hard for here! <3

1 reply
Daf8 September 10th, 2020

heart @CompassionateDreamer8522 heart

heart Thank you! That's funny of you to say... Look at the awesome person who says it! heart

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PeaceLoveandPaws August 29th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication? Silent treatment, Subtle insults, Sabotage, Procrastnating on purpose, and Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? Keeping score
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? It undermines growth and progress, causes confusion and self doubts for the listener, and fosters an atmoshere for gossip to flourish which affects the community as a whole.

1 reply
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azuladragon34 August 29th, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?: They are 1) Silent treatment, 2) Subtle insults, 3) Procrastinating on purpose, 4) Sabotage and 5) Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?: I personally have done #2 and sometimes I don't regret it
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?: It erodes trust and turns people against each other

1 reply
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blissart August 31st, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

Silent treatment, procrastinating on purpose, , keeping score, subtle insults, sabotage


What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

Silent Treatment


Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

Pasive aggression is detrimental to our community as it doesnt help in any way instead it increases discord, misscommunications, lack of trust , creates more confusions and disrespect which discourages all

1 reply
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Tyedyedbutterfly65 September 2nd, 2020

@Heather225smiley

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

1.Silent Treatment

2.Subtle Insults

3.Procrastinating In Purpose

4.Sabatoge

5 Keep Score

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

All but the worse for me is Silent Treatment I can not stand this I am the type that I do wanna talk things out and not have someone give me the silent treatment.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

These are all very hurtful for the community and breaks down teams on the site and also when leaders do this it causes people to leave roles and the site or move to another team.. Leaders should never be engaging in any of these. Not answering messages is ghosting also same as the silent treatment and feeling ignored.

Tyeheart

2 replies
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positivePumpkin22 September 2nd, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?

1. Silent Treatment

2. Subtle insults

3. Procastinating on purpose

4. Sabotage

5. Keeping Score


What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?

I have basically experienced all, especially during my childhood. Silent treatment is most common and i still do get them from time to time but doesnt really work well with me because i am customed to be independent.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

passive-aggressive behavior is so harmful is because the behavior is so indirect you may think the problem is with you. It destroyed trust and security people feel towards you.

1 reply
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smolecho September 2nd, 2020

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent Treatment
Subtle Insults
Procrastinating on Purpose
Sabotage
Keeping Score

What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Personal issues being brought into a professional setting.

Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It confuses and hurts people.

1 reply
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SynSavory September 2nd, 2020

@Heather225

What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?

The signs are silent treatment, subtle insults, procastinating on purpose, sabotating, and keeping score.

I have experienced subtle insults which isn't very nice.

PA is not good for the community because it fosters a hostile working environment where individuals do things to each other, so even the victim may unintentionally become a bully themselves.

1 reply
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