Course 3, Discussion 3: When you don't get the role you want
Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@FrenchToastClub
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
First of all it would hurt and I wouldn't want to bottle up the feelings. I would practice self care immediately. Then after I'm relaxed, I would come back and look for ways to improve myself so as to get the role when I apply next time. It might be talking to mentors.
I would appreciate the leader then ask for help to improve myself. If the leader is willing, we can set up a meeting after a month for example, to evaluate my performance and recommendation.
@JoyHappyNess I couldn't have said it better myself :D
@CurrySoup12
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
@JoyHappyNess
I think this is an awesome response(:
@Rubylistens22
Thank you Ruby
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I found out I was not given the role you(I) wanted you should respond respectfully and ask any questions you have as to why you didn't get it. I would respond to the leader with the following (if the leader didn't reach out to me already):
Hey (Leader's name),
I've noticed I didn't get the role I applied for. It's upsetting. Is there anything I can do and or change to get the role? Are there any tips for the requirements of the role? Are there any personal tips to get the role? Overall, may I get some feedback on how to do better?
If the leader did reach out to me I would put:
Hey (leader's name):
Thank you for reaching out to me! Thank you for letting me know this, is there any way I can fix this to get the role? Do you have any feedback as to how I can get the role?
Thank you so much! <3
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would take some time to really reflect on it (away from 7-cups).
I would remember that it's not personal and that it's an opportunity for me to continue working on my strengths.
I would respond by letting them know I appreciate the work they do and trust that the decisions they have made are for the benefit of the wider community.
@CurrySoup12
I would do something similar too! :)
@CurrySoup12
I agree with this!
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I find out I wasn't given a role I would, first, thank the leader for giving me the opportunity and value what I've learnt through the process. Next, I would request the leader for feedback or request a mentor who could help me improve. If required I would take a self-care break as well.
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would thank the leader for informing me, ask politely for some pointers on how I could get the position next time. Then plan a way to get it.
@ItsMrEnigma
This is a great way to move forward honestly!
@FrenchToastClub I read a book years ago called GO FOR NO! Yes is the destination, NO is how you get there. It completely changed how I thought of rejection and not getting what I wanted. A no just means you are getting closer to your goal or maybe you will see another opportunity along the way to your goal. I would congratulate anyone on a new role or any progress they made, even if it was a role that I wanted. I'd be happy for them!
@Heart4art
I love your response. I think there's a lot to be learned from "failure" (or as you said the no's we get). There's a great meme floating around the internet that discusses the "failures" of now successful people and many of them contribute the no's to helping them work harder.
There's a great quote by Walt Disney and it's displayed in the movie Meet The Robinsons, and Disney says "Around here we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward - opening new doors and doing new things because we're curious and curiousity keeps leading us down new paths."
@FrenchToastClub
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would obviously thank them and let them know that I appreciate them telling me. I would also ask if there was something specific that I should work on so I can be better at what I do. I personally wouldn't be hurt honestly... there are always more opportunities out there that I could contribute to(:
@Rubylistens22
Wow, that's the winner spirit😃. You believe that they are better things out there after asking for feedback from the evaluator. Great response
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
🌹
Hi XXXXXX, hope you are doing well.
Thanks so much for the update and getting back to me.
Whilst I wish the news were different, I’d welcome any feedback or guidance you could offer me.
I thought the role was something I’d enjoy and I’d not hesitate to re-apply again in the future.
Thanks again for your time.
Kind regards
RainbowRosie 🌈
✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
🌹I agreed with the point Curry Soup12 made to remember it’s nothing personal and a good opportunity to work on strengths.
@RainbowRosie
There was so much courage behind your words. ☺️ You were able to express disappointment and a passionate continued interest, while also seeking feedback to take into consideration moving forward. This was great work, Rosie. 💟
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Everything in good timing. I don't tend to apply if I'm not confident I can bring something special to a role or team and that I'm incapable of seeing a role through. However, you never know who else is also applying and what they bring- so my philosophy is, if not me, then there was someone who would do an even greater job and if that's the case, isn't that what you would want? If there is someone who would pour just as much love into it and do even greater work, then it's a win-win because our intention should be to better whatever community we're serving.
With that said, I would thank them and ask to be kept in consideration for other roles they feel I may be a great fit for moving forward. I may also ask them what I should work on to improve my chances of being brought on at the same or similar capacity should an opportunity arise in the future. <3
@zaatarHoney
Love the confidence you show in this response :)
@zaatarHoney
I really admire this mindset you have. Not taking things personally, but understanding, we don't always see the bigger picture. The confidence in our own abilities to a great job and bring something special to role regardless of result is amazing.
@FrenchToastClub
If I found out that I was not given a role, I would respectfully ask the leader for the reason behind their decision. I would express my interest in contributing to the team and ask if there are any other openings where I could help. I think I would also follow up to ask what professional development I could do to fit the role better. would also thank the leader for considering me and let them know that I am open to feedback to improve myself in the future. It's essential to remain professional and courteous in such situations and not let emotions get in the way.