Course 3, Discussion 3: When you don't get the role you want
Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Hi 'Leader's Username',
Thank you so much for getting back to me. I am a little disappointed, but I'm grateful for your time and consideration in reading my application. If you have a few minutes, I would really appreciate some feedback to help me improve with future applications.
This is very clear and to the point! 😊
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Hi Leader,
Thanks for letting me know - I get delivering disappointing news is never fun, and while I'm disappointed I understand and appreciate you letting me know. Whenever you have a minute if you could give some feedback on anything I can do to help better my chances in the future I wolud appreciate it! I hope you have a great rest of your day!
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Hello Leader, thank you for reviewing my application. I understand that I do not live up to the expectations for the role right now. Could you kindly inform me what I will have to improve to be considered for the role in the future? Please feel free to take your time with your response. Have a great day! ❤️
@MagnificentSunrise
At first, the unhappiness of imagining not getting a role seemed to come out in your response but it gradually grew to acceptance and a great response.
Your interest in improvement immediately is inspiring :) I hope it's as easy when a denial happens as it seems right now
@MagnificentSunrise
I love this!
@MagnificentSunrise such a beautiful way to ask for constructive feedback looking to improve, while politely understanding the current decision
@FrenchToastClub\
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I were not given a role, I would honestly not think it that big of a deal personally speaking. I would thank them and internally feel it is just not the right time for me to ascend to that role.
Hello (Leader Name),
Thank you so much for your time and consideration. If you have any feedback for me so I can improve in the future and be the fit 7 Cups is looking for in this role, please do let me know. If you're not comfortable with that, I respect that as well. Again, thank you for your time. Have a great week ahead! /endofmessage
@GermanZebraCupcake quite detailed, really thought provoking.
@GermanZebraCupcake
Informative.. thank you 👍
@FrenchToastClub\
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I were not given a role, I would honestly not think it that big of a deal personally speaking. I would thank them and internally feel it is just not the right time for me to ascend to that role.
Hello (Leader Name),
Thank you so much for your time and consideration. If you have any feedback for me so I can improve in the future and be the fit 7 Cups is looking for in this role, please do let me know. If you're not comfortable with that, I respect that as well. Again, thank you for your time. Have a great week ahead! /endofmessage
@GermanZebraCupcake
I like your response. I certainly ask just for my edification and a reality check. With the 'reality check' perhaps being more important. I could always feel that I am a much bigger asset than I am and that seems to me a very good thing to know.
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I were not given a role, I would honestly not think it that big of a deal personally speaking. I would thank them and internally feel it is just not the right time for me to ascend to that role.
Hello (Leader Name),
Thank you so much for your time and consideration. If you have any feedback for me so I can improve in the future and be the fit 7 Cups is looking for in this role, please do let me know. If you're not comfortable with that, I respect that as well. Again, thank you for your time. Have a great week ahead! /endofmessage
@GermanZebraCupcake
I love your response ! :)
@FrenchToastClub
I have been denied spots that I had my heart set on before. I was decent at handling the first time but I have since learned. I know to respond with thanks- for the empathy in being told instead of just never hearing back - and the want to be better to get it next time. Often time reflecting on the original decision to want it and whether I can handle it or if I truly want it. I do not believe anything is a coincidence.
If I do not get the role I applied for on 7 Cups, I would respond with expecting more from myself. I would push myself to spend more time in group chats, take on more member chats in a structured technique, work on improving my approach to situations I am not sure how to handle, and trying to understand why I didn't get the role.
Understanding. Reflection. Effort.
In words, though. I would say: "I appreciate you taking the time to tell me I did not get the role with empathy. Thank you for not leaving me in the dark and I hope I can improve to be able to apply again for a leadership role." I know I should reach out to the decider (who may not be who reached out to me) about why I was not approved. That would be my next step.
You don't get anywhere with aggression, overtaking emotions, and cruel words. Keeping some of the negative response inside is also sometimes a good response. Often times it takes a few moments to remind yourself to be kind and not take it too personally.
@SnowTabby that is so amazing! it's short, succinct, and sweet
I also love the rest of your answer, you really went so in-depth and covered just about everything.
Thanks so much for sharing all this info!
@SnowTabby You're answer was very great and deep! Thank you!
@SnowTabby Great point about reflecting on the position and whether you truly wanted in the first place/can handle it. I definitely agree that sometimes a rejection can help you realize that this is not actually the right path for you, or that you need a little more work before you are ready. This was a really thoughtful response.
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would that the "rejection" as a learning opportunity to strengthen my skill set. I would ask what I could have done better to be given the role, and put it into practice!
@jadenrjc7
Great answer ❤️😄
@FrenchToastClub
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Respond calmly, respectfully and be understanding ♡ ~ ask for some feedback on what areas you can improve on/ what you need to do in order to get the role next time :)
Example-
Hiii, thank you for letting me know the outcome of the application. I understand that at this time I have not got this role, but I am wondering if you could provide me with some feedback on areas in which I can improve in, and let me know what I need in order to get this role next time? :) Thank you so much for all you do, I really appreciate it.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I should be respectful and understanding that this is not the only opportunity that
I have for applying for that specific role.
To treat the person who is informing me of this with respect and empathy because
it was possibly just as hard for them to inform me of me not getting the role.
💎
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Hay (Leader), thank you so much for informing me, I appreciate it!
Could you give me some feedback on what I can improve on and what I need to learn,
so that I can improve myself and apply for the role again when I feel that I am fit to do so.
I would also like to know how much time has to pass until I can apply for that role again,
just so I don't apply for it when it's not possible for me to apply for it.
Thank you so much for everything you do, I wish you a wonderful rest of your day!
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@AnnaSilverberg
Very detailed and thoughtful!
