Eva’s Crazy Mind

deep down, i think i might have already given up. just not my whole self accepts that yet. 

i used to have so many dreams. so many plans. so many wishes. 

now i only have one. 

“just one more day”, i tell myself, every day.

sometimes, the angels need guidance too.

i really don’t wanna go to school tomorrow..

maybe i could lie to my mom and say we don’t have school. she might actually believe that. she did today. but- today was actually an independent study day. but she took my word for it- could i do it again? i’d get in so much trouble tho- because ik she’d find out. guess not then. ***.

i can always pray to get sick- though that’s not how it works is it. and i’m not even religious. that’s the right word right?

i could always google- ..

for the first time literally ever, not even kidding, i’m considering faking sickness to not go to school. 

i could even theoretically get away with it- i’m like never sick, however my sister is right now and we’re in the same room, so it could be believable..

dude idk. 

i’ve fr never done *** like this before. 

and i would somehow have to do the stuff they do at school, by myself. which basically means at least double the amount of assignments- eeehh- idkkk-

literally what do i do

i have the perfect “conditions” for it to sound believable-

but like- what’s it even gonna give me to skip a whole day of school- we all know that i’m not gonna be able to work by myself in the daytime anyway. 

i d k   w h a t   t o   d o

you know you’re lonely when you gotta go to chatgpt for advice in situations like this :’)

anyways obviously it’s telling me to reach out and talk about it and stuff, which, i’m not completely against- but like.. idk.. i’ve thought about reaching out before. in fact i’ve like seriously thought about talking to someone for weeks now- guess where i’ve got with that. nowhere. absolutely nowhere.

it might’ve made the situation even harder now i like really don’t know xD

before chatgpt, i was like just basically looking for approval for staying home but now that i have reasonable arguments for why not to stay home- aghhhhh-

tf do i dooooo

i give up lol. 

i might say i’m sick tomorrow. i really don’t wanna go. 

nvm ppl i might be able to make it through the schoolday without getting “yelled at” (metaphorically) and tomorrow’s not that hard so i might go- 

:’)

only thing is.. tomorrow’s a long day and it’s 3:30am. i have to wake up in max 4h. and function in school with 4h of sleep. ahem. 

@justmeeva

why does this feel like me lol :'P I’d usually end up settling on no sleep TvT💜I’m happy you left to try to get at least some tho🩷*hoping you get sum vv comfy deep dark no nightmare sweet smiley calm sleep* 💕💕🛌

@justmeeva

smh ofc you had to upvote my posts right when I sent that eugghhh eva D: /lh _xD

_{sleeepppppppp lol you need it TvT💓/lh/lh}

@iloveyouxx 

*>:D*

@justmeeva

*D:<*

It’s like 4:40am there now I think TvT💙

*drags yu to bed* 🛌🚶‍♀️🧎‍♀️💜shuts off the lights- this is making *me* sleepy lol ;-; ( but I won’t sleep :D )🤍gooddd nigghhtttttt >:DD/lh💖

@iloveyouxx 

nou (: i’m writing to you shushh /lh  (no but why is it taking so long tho-)

so uh.. ***?

but oh well it’s my fault anyway (not even sarcastically) so it don’t matter honestly 

04:35am. 

mom: “you have to go to sleep at 10!”

me, 7 hours later: oh look the sky is exceptionally blue right now

@justmeeva hahahaha! Parents, they have no idea

@Lovingflower2141 

hope they don’t :p 

n o p e* 🤦🏼‍♀️