Eva’s Crazy Mind

how many times do i have to say i’m done for those things to finally *** stop

why can’t you let me forget

kinda considering going completely silent. 

pov everything’s so *** up you just start laughing about it which eventually turns into a breakdown which makes you wonder what the *** you’re still doing here

why do the girls in my class ask me if i’m going to the class trip if it doesn’t change a *** thing if i do or not, they’re gonna leave me alone anyway yet they get offended and mad and call me boring if i say i no

numb. 

Shadow work prompts are questions you ask yourself that push you to uncover repressed thoughts or feelings. 

So here are some shadow work questions for you all......

1. What makes me feel self-conscious?
2. In what situations am I most hard on myself?
3. Do the people around me represent my value?
4. What do I feel in my body when I am scared or anxious?
5. How would I describe myself?

I hope these self discovery questions would be a little help for you all to know yourself.

#together_we_can_overcome

“away” again. 

still “away”.

“she’s more grown up than most adults.”

i j r p m k m :D

well, almost. 

my head feels so weird. it’s like heavy and light at the same time. 

dizzy. 

@justmeeva can you sit down? :0

@unassumingEyes 

that’s probably a good idea lol. 🩷

@justmeeva eva buddy youre like my irl friend who came to me laughing and said she felt like she was gonna faint smh/lh hope ur oki 🩷

@justmeeva eva buddy youre like my irl friend who came to me laughing and said she felt like she was gonna faint smh/lh hope ur oki 🩷

@unassumingEyes whyd that repost-

i feel weird too. 

strangely close to being okay. 

that means ***’s about to go down. 

okay just keep your mind distracted and you’ll be fine. 

“i’m sorry i’m not struggling enough for you to care.”

i’m so tired of this *** man. 

why am i just shaking out of nowhere-

i’m home, and they’re not the cold shivers-

ahem okay whatever. 

idk what this feeling is but everything’s so calm and slow and so am i, i’m like really tired but not in the way that it’s hard to stay awake, i don’t understand it

i’ll be back a little later. 

i genuinely don’t know. 

that was uncomfortable lol. 

“the smile that you gave me even when you felt like dying” :’)

the explanation of me yesterday. around all those people. they had no idea. 

i’m not real. 

i’m not alive. 

i’m not alive. 

i exist but at the same time i don’t. 

@justmeeva

:') existing is exhausting. 💜 I’m proud of you friend. me knows oftentimes it doesn’t feel like we are alive/living, me thinks me does understand this feeling :( tbh i’m not even completely sure what “being alive” means/ is supposed to look like <3 but i know a lot of the time, we don’t feel like we are alive. it feels like we are just waking up (our brains seem to convince us that we wake up for no reason… *smh brainie*) and we are just …existing. :') and existing is hard, and it’s exhausting 💜 because even when we aren’t truly living, even when we aren’t truly *alive* - life throws *** at us doesn’t it… :/ life is hard. existing is hard. 💜

*hugs eva friend if okay* …but… i’m proud of you. you are here. you exist. and i know right now it feels like it’s just… existing. and i know that isn’t very… mmm. :') i know oftentimes it ain’t fun, it’s super exhausting 💜 but your here and i hope you know im proud of you friend. 

friend i know i been away for a while too :') and i’m not even sure why. i just felt like leaving, and i’m here, because i just felt like coming back… which is pretty dumb of me i think. :’) …but yeah. i know i been away 💜 …im sorry. *more hugs if okay* 

i did miss you lots friend. i did. 

so much… 💜

im sorry.