Eva’s Crazy Mind

@justmeeva

Loneliness is painful. 😞 Oftentimes I think, we can be surrounded by people everywhere… even on Cups… and still feel lonely. :') 💜 *Keeps hugging you* Does eva bean maybe know what’s causing these feelings of loneliness? ): Or is it just something… mmmm… usual…? 😞💜 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

being away isn’t unusual for me, but today it’s just.. extra. idk. like i’m so far from the ones important to me, from you. like there’s something pulling me back, like there’s a wall that keeps me away. idk. 

@justmeeva

mhm me thinks me understands that a little eva buddy ): i wish i could help more though. 💜 i wish i could understand, but i’m not you, i don’t directly know and feel everything you go through each day ): i can’t imagine how hard it must be having to deal with being away and at the same time, there’s so much going on in other parts of your world. i’m sorry buddy 😞 me knows life is… so much, sometimes. tbh it’s probably so much, too much, really, all the time but sometimes it feels… extra or just, more. idk. ): 

even if these feelings seem to be keeping you away from us :') me not staying away from eva bean, me sending her hugs 🫂💜 and me sitting with you friend. 

if there’s any way i can help, eva beanie will let me know… mhms…? 🥺💜 

*me thinking…* 💜 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

you really are the best of the best aren’t you 🩷 you’re so kind, i appreciate you vvv much <3 i think i just feel a bit overwhelmed today, right now. you don’t have to do anything special for me, having you here with me is more than enough, i promise ❤️ *stays in the eva-ni hug because it’s the best, no doubt* 🩷

@justmeeva

awwe okay friend… :') thank you 💜 your the bestest of the bestest, too. 🥺 i love you friend <3 

does anything help you when you feel overwhelmed? ): 💜 perhaps some music or spending time with pet buddies? <3 or something? 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

mhm, might try music. thank you buddy 🩷 *keeps hugging* 🫂❤️

@justmeeva

okay buddy <3 i hope that helps. 🥺💜 me just a tag away if you need ok? <3 

*keeps hugging you too and never ever ever ever ever lets go* 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

mhm 🩷 *melts just a tiny bit more because ni fren is just so special and the hugs are just the best, and doesn’t even think about unhugging *

@justmeeva

*melts with you over and over and over again* 😭😭😭 

(me poofing now but me will try to be back in a few hours at nighttime friend. :o i hope you’ll be safe and try to be kind to you, even as you feeling overwhelmed… :') i hope the music helps friend.) 💜 

me said melting over and over and over again because me been melting in some other forum threads too with some other buddies, but literally… in this one diary space me has melted so much today. 🥺😭 several times. which is why evabuddybeaniiee deserves the Melting Master badge ✨ which means your a master of melting hearts, oftentimes… just by being yourself. 🥺

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

okie, i hope you’ll take care of yourself too 🩷 love you lots and lots nifren 💕

@justmeeva

love you lots too. <3 take care. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

also, i managed to run out of hearts for you, again. still smh on the limit. /💕

@justmeeva

*smh at the heart limit* D: 💜 although, i think your sweet, kind, heartfelt words count as hearts, too. 🥺💜

i could be the perfect friend. i could be the perfect big sister. i could be the perfect daughter. i could be the perfect student. i could be the perfect role model. i could be the perfect classmate. i could be the perfect person. but i’m not. 

@justmeeva

but your eva 💜 imperfect…. yes. but i’m ni, an imperfect girl too :') i guess, isn’t that what makes us human… it’s messy and crazy and oftentimes not really fun, but… even though we all make mistakes, we all mess up, we do silly things sometimes :') we may hate ourselves more than anything…..

but humans… we are also so beautiful. and eva, i wish… i just wish you could even just have a glimpse of the way i see you. your beautiful eva 💜 imperfect, sure, but your beautiful. 

and yeah ik it’s *** hard to feel like your enough, i know oftentimes we feel like we ain’t enough, that we never will be. i know it’s hard to be kind to ourselves. to love ourselves. to be gentle with ourselves….. especially after everything you’ve been through, eva, it’s hard and that’s understandable. 😞💜

….. even though i know this is just coming from me… and that words are, really, just words. but ni friend sitting with you 💜 she loves you for you. she loves you more than you know. your enough and beautiful, by being you. your trying every day, your still here, you’ve made it so far, even though life has thrown a bunch of crap at you….. it’s been hard. you’re here though. i’m really proud of you and i just want to say you’re beautiful 💜 and you’re enough. (even though you don’t see that in yourself right now) 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

they’re more than just words when they come from someone so special tho 🩷 you touched my heart, again, thank you ❤️ i know you know how hard self love, or even self acceptance is. but you’re so beautiful and special in my eyes too 🩷 thank you for being with me, seriously ❤️

@justmeeva

*hugs you tight* 💜 thank you friend. 💙 

***.

music better work rn because if it doesn’t i’ll-

drown those feelings in music. 

why the *** am i still trying to get along with my sister i should imagine she didn’t exist

wish she was- .

oh and believe me, this is not the first, or second, or 50th time I’m thinking this. 

distractions distractions distractions. 

ima just- bbl. 

kinda between staying completely quiet and begging for help idk. 

wondering what my school (teachers, principal etc (they’re kind people but i’m “one of the best students” so uh-)) is gonna say when i say that i never want to study again :D (it’s a lot deeper than just that)

like i have absolutely no plans whatsoever for what to do after 9th

and tbh i’m not sure there is an “after 9th”-

…

iykyk. 

so quiet..

back to school. 

ever look at the upvote notifications and be like “damn did i really talk that much?”

@justmeeva i was just doing that eva stop reading my mind😭🤭

@unassumingEyes 

xD 🤜🤛

@justmeeva 🤜🤛

(Its oki to talk tho. Sometimes it doesnt feel oki, but it is and if it wasnt we cld still do it together 😌) 

@unassumingEyes 

now you’re there one reading minds here xD yeah, agreed 🩷

slow internet is such a mood killer istg. 

@justmeeva cfhhfgfc ur telling me??/lh our net literally doesnt turn *on* some days just because xD 

*yeets bad net* 

(...brings good net)