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Eva’s Crazy Mind

justmeeva January 21st

i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows. 

i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.

best wishes to you. ❤️

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justmeeva OP January 29th

i hate it how my brain makes everything a *** competition. 

justmeeva OP January 29th

so many changes. 

justmeeva OP January 29th

can’t deal with this anymore. 

6 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

*sits with eva* 💜

3 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

i’m sorry for being so uh… emotional and overreacting every night.. idk how you manage to put up with the night me but i’m thankful you do. 🩷

2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

:o me don’t just put up with you buddy. 💜 me wouldn’t describe it as putting up with. 🥺 ik you struggle every night :’) i get how messy and crazy our thoughts can be T^T your not overreacting or too being emotional. 💙 it’s okay 💜

how are things today? 🥺

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

too being emotional… my english… is falling apart. 😶 lmao. your not being too emotional* 

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unassumingEyes January 30th

@justmeeva *sits with eva and flowers* 

1 reply
justmeeva OP January 30th

@unassumingEyes @LoveMyMoonflowers

*sits quietly*

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justmeeva OP January 30th

why do i break so fast under stress and pressure? 

5 replies
unassumingEyes January 30th

@justmeeva not ur fault :( those of us who “handle it well”….we’re not really handling anything.

it’s either pretend to be ok or show that ur not when under pressure, i think

i think the second option is the healthier one, too


3 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

@unassumingEyes 

yeah… but my mind makes it so much worse than it’s supposed to be. as soon as i’m falling behind, i try to do everything at once which i obviously can not do and then i give up. why? (not expecting you to know the answer to it)

2 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

ykw nvm it all

unassumingEyes January 30th

@justmeeva idk why tbh…but i know sm other ppl who do that to if it helps. Some ppl just…react like that i guess. It doesnt make it ur fault

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LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

*sits* 💙

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justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers @unassumingEyes

i’m sorry.. i didn’t mean to be rude…

10 replies
unassumingEyes January 30th

@justmeeva you werent rude at all lovely :0 no need to apologise <3 being low isnt the same as being rude. How are u now frnd?/nfta

LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

*hugs if okie* awwe no you weren’t rude at all. 🥺 it’s okie

5 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers @unassumingEyes

*hugs u both* you two are seriously the best, thank you 🩷

4 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

you and eyes are the bestesttest 🥺

3 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

i know a nibuddy who’s bestesttester than eva (eyes does belong to that list tho i agree) but that’s a debate for another day :) 💕

2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

😮😮😮

justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

🩷🩷🩷

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unassumingEyes January 30th

@justmeeva @LoveMyMoonflowers 

to end the debate, we’re all the bestestestest ❤️🤍🩵

2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@unassumingEyes

yes 🥺

justmeeva OP January 30th

@unassumingEyes

agreed 🩷

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justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*surprise attacks ni fren from behind*

9 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers January 30th

@justmeeva

😱😱😱 /j 

*attacks you with hugs* 😛

8 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*accepts the attack and hugs* :D

7 replies
justmeeva OP January 30th

@justmeeva

*whispers* how’s de ni fren?

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justmeeva OP January 31st

kind of early but the night's already taking over my mind. how fun.

justmeeva OP January 31st

oof. all kinds of memories, flashbacks and thoughts are coming flooding in.

justmeeva OP January 31st

is it possible to have a million thoughts and none at the same time? apparently yes.

justmeeva OP January 31st

it's a different kind of pain when you realise you're starting to forget their face.. their eyes.. their voice.