Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
nope i am so *** done with my sister.
@justmeeva
*sits with eva buddy* did something happen, lovely? 🥺
@LoveMyMoonflowers
hi ni… she’s just ruining my life and making it a little worse constantly and she’s damn good at it. i actually can’t wait to move out and get as far from her as possible.
@justmeeva
oof. i understand ): what’s she doing to bother you? 😞 if comfy sharing. 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i don’t wanna take it out on you.. i’m kinda mad and tired of her and it’s prolly gonna reflect on my messages then and i don’t wanna seem like a bad person… maybe i should just get off cups anyway and deal with it myself.
@justmeeva
awwe it doesn’t seem like your taking it out on anyone lovely. 💙 your free to talk and vent, if comfy 💜 this is your safe space after all and your allowed to talk about things. 🥺 you don’t have to deal with anything alone 💙 here for you.
(No pressure though 💜)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
okay… it’s kinda pretty long tho, sorry about that. it might not seem as bad as it actually seems to me in my head, i’m not good at explaining it really, but she’s been messing me up for years. she’s like 11 so she can’t be much harm right? apparently somehow wrong. she’s a *** of a liar, i always get in trouble for her, she has no empathy, she’s spoiled or at least acts like it, she’s so annoying but in a like irritating level yk ‘annoying’ would be holding back. it’s so bad that i actually genuinely don’t care one bit about her which is a big thing since i’m yk *me*. i’ve tried distancing myself from her (as much as i can i mean we share a room so it’s not so easy) by like ignoring her and just not interacting with her at all, that kind of worked but also not, then most of the time i’ve tried getting along with her, it’s okay until it lasts but she always, always finds a way to surprise in an insane way, like how stupid and terrible can a person be? i don’t think there’s any point in trying to get along with her anymore, it just doesn’t work out in the end.
today, the reason i’m mad, was that my little brother has been hiding her phone twice, just for fun, she has found it and it’s not a big deal. siblings stuff yk. but, she blamed me for hiding that phone which like i wasn’t mad about because idc, but today, she hid her phone *herself* (she used it before and my brother wasn’t home and i didn’t do it so it was *her*), she pretended to be looking for it and constantly asked me where it was and got mad at me, and then went to the hiding place and got mad at me saying i did it. it sounds absurd that i get mad at a thing like that, but just the fact that she’s such a liar and- it just throws me off so much. idk what to do with her. it’s stupid, i know, but for some weird reason i’m sick of her.
@justmeeva
big hugs for you if okay 💙 i’m so sorry lovely 😞 that must be so frustrating and it’s completely understandable your mad about it. 💜 it’s okay to feel mad 😞
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*hugs* thank you ni.. 🩷
am i a terrible person for often thinking about how my life would be better without her..? wishing she didn’t exist..? as much as i hate her, i still feel bad for thinking thoughts like that…
@justmeeva
*keeps hugging* i think it’s completely valid to feel frustrated and mad at your sister 💙 especially since she’s been doing all this for so long :') did you talk to your parents/guardians about it? 💜
@LoveMyMoonflower
no.. my mom would probably just think that it’s some normal sibling thing, i don’t think i could explain it well enough to let her know how much it’s bothering me. besides, it isn’t that big of a deal i guess, just really annoying and irritating sometimes, and just to know that she’s not gonna change anytime soon doesn’t help much. but it probably doesn’t matter anyways, gotta just live with it
@justmeeva
:') i’m so sorry. Me wish there was something i could do 😞
@LoveMyMoonflowers
nothing’s your fault ni lovely, i appreciate you being here very very much, just that is already really helpful 🩷 thank you for listening and caring about me 💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers
i didn’t mean to make you feel helpless or bad, i’m sorry ❤️ everything you do is useful and i’m very tankful for that. it makes me happier to just see you, you don’t have to do anything extra to make things better 🩷 thank you very much for everything 🫂💕
@justmeeva
hugs always okie! *hugs*
