Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
just imagine living your life not being your absolute worst enemy or wishing to disappear every time you’re around another human being. how.. free.. it must feel.
maybe it’s just me, but let’s take a moment to talk about the struggles of struggling as a, say 14 year old. you have to go to school, you have to be around your family, your options and choices are limited, you don’t get a break how ever much you may need it. of course it’s different for everyone, but imagine living on your own, having the option to get away from all people anytime for however long, do basically whatever you want, heal in peace. it’s certainly not everyone’s wish, but it is mine. one that’s just a wish. dumb. unrealistic. just a wish.
@justmeeva Yes but it would be pretty lonely. And think of how the people around you have perhaps hurt you, yet you still stand up for yourself now. That in itself proves many if not all people around you are making you stronger.
i had to be in a group with 2 girls, one of them being that kinda mean girl who i’ve mentioned commenting that boy’s outfit and whatever. we’ll just call her M bc i know it’s not gonna be the last time i have to talk about her. basically, when i hadn’t joined them yet, M looked at me and then whispered something about me and they laughed so yk it’s not very hard to guess what (who) they might’ve talked about. then we went to a different room bc we needed to record a podcast for an assignment and basically the first thing they did is tell me to bring my phone, actually just finding an excuse to make me leave for a moment because they wanted to film a *** video. then i finally got back to them and M looked at me multiple times and i could just feel the *** judgemental look she was giving me. anyways. later when the class was starting to end, there’s a possibility she *** filmed me. not entirely sure, she pretended to film herself but idk it was strangely angled at me. it’s not certain but if she *** did- and now i’m in the restroom waiting until the next class starts bc they told me they wanted to talk (threw me out (as if i ever wanted to be with them)) but luckily i won’t have to be with them in that next class. ❤️❤️❤️ (i wanna ___.)
