in the wonders of my mindđ.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnât look like međ§makes sense doesnât itđsince there can only be one *me*âšone of a kind now arent Iđ/sar. one out of 8118835999âšđ·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youâre also one of a kindđ sorrysorry haha :Pđ€im just messing around xDđalso itâs 2am- but shush no snitchingđ€«Iâll sleep in a whileđwhen Iâm feeling a bit more sane :>đđ©·
wanted to have my own space.đ for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.đ
to whoever's coming across :'3đplease dont lurk here.đ©· I know anyone can have access to this forum :')đbut please be respectfulđ©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pđ yâall get crazy nosy haha- itâs alright.đnothing too interesting will be here anywayđif you would like to come in and be supportive itâs completely okieđbut please donât make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitđbecause Iâd still like this to be just my space ^-^đ)
Iâm so tired.
I missed seeing you around. đ I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. Would a new thread help? Or is the forums in general that are tiring?Â
@mytwistedsoul
đsorry I upvoted it but then guests came. I missed you too, I know you didnât say that but Iâm gonna act like you did because I genuinely did miss you. youâre so kind :')đ
you donât have tođidk I hate the way cups is changing in general and the things thatve been happening itâs just so unnecessary and cruel. in my side itâs just so crazy like the rumors and all that. I donât have to talk about it tho itâs fine. Itâs just something about this thread that hurts. thanks for being here soulđyou donât have to but you still do it and youâre amazing for thatđ
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@iloveyouxx I did miss you đ I was just afraid if I said it I'd seem needy or - idk - clingy or too much. Or that I'm making it weird or make people uncomfortableÂ
@mytwistedsoul
awwe lol you thought about that :')đyou just reminded me of this one cups guy that would always go "heeyyyy nadiaaaaaađ" and after that theyâd be kinda weird and I told them that they made me uncomfy and scared eventually. but I blamed it on general anxiety and fear or male that I genuinely try to stop because I know theyâre not all the same and I know itâs unfair but itâs all Iâve ever known and idk anyway, so then they started going "heeyyy (name)đ" â ïžâ ïž right now that persons permanently banned. a commod friend told me that and some listeners saw his profile and said yeah it was a ban but idk who reported. it was really bad :') they honestly always got mad at me for that fear and made annoying examples and would go around telling others about it but they made it worse than anyone ever has before. but I donât think it wouldâve been weirdđI trust you more than most people so thatâs something.Â
@iloveyouxx Aww no it's ok to be sad. I mean I'm sorry that you are of course but I can understand why talking or even thinking about all this would make you sad. It's a hurtful situation. It's always ok to be how ever you feel. I'd rather you be honest about it then pretend to be happy when you're not. You never have to be sorry ok?Â
@mytwistedsoul
your notification just saved me :P also sorry if this is rushed Iâm scared my dads gonna come back.Â
thankyou soulđ©·Â
@iloveyouxx Omg I could scream right now. I had this huge reply written up and the whole thing just poofedÂ
@mytwistedsoul
abusihubwjjhibaa I wish I couldâve seen that ugh I hate it when that happensđthatâs why I usually save my replies somewhere if I have to go or something so I could finish it off later
@iloveyouxx The sad thing is that I usually do save messages I'm writing. For whatever reason this time I didn'tÂ
@mytwistedsoul
for me sometimes when I press post the whole screen just pauses and you canât click anything at all. even the tabs and after a couple minutes it turns grey and leads to the log in page again
I honestly donât know I broke the last ones horribly (both sides were broken off the like front lenses part and they were also cut through the middle tho-) and these were new since my eyesight got so much worse. according to the doctor :p my eyes are severely sensitive to the light and I have really bad dry eyes and my eyesight went down by 3. idk 3 what but 3â ïžand I didnât get those glasses a long long time ago so I basically messed up my eyesight really fast. and my family said that canât happen to people my age and your eyesight only starts getting that much worse when youâre in your 40/50s. which idk I kinda doubt it :') because the doctor said while he put that light to my eyes through that big machine thing that the dry eyes and sensitivity to the light are because of too much screen timeâ ïž and he said usually this isnât because of screentime of education but rather when itâs used on entertainment. he seemed really mad but it was probably a bad day :') but yeah this time I think I slept on them or something- I know I sound really careless but I just remember my dad found them somewhere and got mad but they werenât broken tho one side was just a little loose but still not broken.Â
it was 86 for me :0
ugh I hate it when people do that :') the same thing happened to me but I guess it never really stopped me. Iâm quiet irl but I know I talk too much here. itâs so hard to trust someone again Iâm sorry/genđ
yeah thankyouđI donât have a phone either, itâs just my school tablet. and my brother has a phone and he doesnât know I have a fingerprint on that :p lol that sounds bad. and I have a face id on most devices. my grandma has 3 phones my dad has 8 my brother has 2 my grandpa has 2. and they actually use them
no itâs okay :0đ€I donât really matter lol really tho and helping even tho Iâm probably not makes me feel worth something. Iâm not gonna take care of myself :') and I know you say that but you really really donât. thankyou thođ€/gen
i'm so sorry to hear about your losses and the complex emotions you're dealing with. losing both your dog and your father so close together must have been so painful.đit sounds scary. the relationship with your father sounds particularly complicated with the history of abuse and then reconnecting later on. :')đit makes sense to feel conflicted about grieving someone who caused you pain and it's also valid to mourn the childhood you didn't have.đ Itâs a lot to handle on your own. it's a lot to go through just at all espe.cially when you feel like there's no one to turn to who would understand. i donât want to just throw you onto something else. and you donât have to thank međI really do like listening, thankyou for letting međ€
đđyouâre welcome :0 I think I already did that xD but itâs okayđ€
I didnât sleep at all heh but itâs okayyđthankyouđ
Iâm sorry I know this isnât replying properly but the person that opened this device for me is gone and I was meant to give it to them before they left and Iâm not meant to have this and Iâve been so scared and trying to keep it open just to finish this at least- I sound really dramatic and I know I skipped replying to a bunch of stuff probably I donât really remember. Iâll try and come on later and reread it but maybe youâd have to remind me :') Iâll try and remember tho. ttylđ
@iloveyouxx It's sort of funny and sad that everything comes down to screen time. Which maybe it does - idk. The blue light maybe? Do you take eye drops for the dry eye? I've heard it helps because that can cause eye problems too. Idk I think some people are just more prone to eye problems and alot can effect it. I don't think having them break necessarily means your careless. Sometimes accidents just happen
Iâm gonna go again. I might come back if my dadâs late or if he leaves again but idk.Â
@iloveyouxx
i've run out of hearts/reached the heart limit but me sending hugs đ
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@mytwistedsoul
@iloveyouxx With this particular person it's that I have to reply regularly to them. They don't hang out in the forums at all. To chat with them takes hours and it's hard to sit still that long. Not to mention having a conversation is me asking them questions and getting one word answers. It's just really draining. I have had people who got upset if I answered others first And others in general lol
@mytwistedsoul
;-; hours of that? what would you even talk about? is it for them :p whatâs the point of talking like that :p and if someone just gets upset because you replied to someone else before them thatâs just weird unless itâs important Iâm honestly just confused thođ
@iloveyouxx Well this one wasn't reply to very fast at all. I'm sorry about that. Idk I think the tags are screwy - which when haven't they been lol
@mytwistedsoul
itâs okayy and I know, itâs so hard keeping up with replies that way so I understandđI just upvoted because I thought you didnât get the tag- which- you didnât :D
im gonna be honest tho itâs 3am- or almost, 2:53 am. and my dads definitely awake I can hear him on a call :p and- Iâm being reallyyyyy risky xDđ because he forgot to take our devices. I surprise myself sometimes
@iloveyouxx Thank you. I try to keep up but yeah sometimes it's impossible. And when the tags are goofy it's even harder
I admire you're bravery! You must keep a finger ready on the close tabs button lol
It is a listener. He actually messaged me but not for me to talk to him about anything I'm dealing with. But for us to talk about things he's dealing with. It started when I had very few boundaries. I actually do feel bad for him tho because I know he's got alot going on but I suck at keeping up with people's expectations
Yes! They are fluffy cows! đ The horse's name is Danny. He's pretty cool and very friendly. The chickens are pretty friendly too and they like to be petted and will take treats from your hands
That teacher sounds like she should choose a new profession. đ Idk if people realize that things like that are what makes it harder for kids to go to them when they have problems later on. It's bad enough to get yelled at all the time but to mock someone is just really cruel
Hey that's great! I didn't know you could get medals on it! I'll definitely have to check it out on the laptop. Hey playing games is a hobby too. Anything you like doing can be a hobby I think
It takes me forever to type sometimes lol I get sidetracked too easily at times
Thank you too for talking with me đ
How's your foot doing? Is the pain alittle less now?