261 of 331: in the wonders of my mind💗.

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

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iloveyouxx OP June 26th

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iloveyouxx OP June 26th

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iloveyouxx OP June 26th

_{I’m so tired.}

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

_{nvm I realized it was this whole forum}

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

I’m gonna go

mytwistedsoul June 26th

I missed seeing you around. 💙 I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. Would a new thread help? Or is the forums in general that are tiring?

4 replies

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

@mytwistedsoul

💙sorry I upvoted it but then guests came. I missed you too, I know you didn’t say that but I’m gonna act like you did because I genuinely did miss you. you’re so kind :')💙

you don’t have to💜idk I hate the way cups is changing in general and the things thatve been happening it’s just so unnecessary and cruel. in my side it’s just so crazy like the rumors and all that. I don’t have to talk about it tho it’s fine. It’s just something about this thread that hurts. thanks for being here soul💙you don’t have to but you still do it and you’re amazing for that💙

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4 replies

mytwistedsoul June 26th

@iloveyouxx I did miss you 💙 I was just afraid if I said it I'd seem needy or - idk - clingy or too much. Or that I'm making it weird or make people uncomfortable

I hate the changes too. And the fact that it doesn't matter how many people speak out about them - nothing get fixed or put back to where it was

I'm so sorry there's so many bad things happening on the teen side. Cruelty is just so unnecessary and I wish people would realize the damage they can cause to people - even if it is online - we all still real people. No pressure or anything but you can talk about it here if it would help. But I know too that's these spaces are really private and many people lurk and silently read

You can always have this space deleted. Sometimes thread hold too much pain and it hurts to see them

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4 replies

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

@mytwistedsoul

awwe lol you thought about that :')💜you just reminded me of this one cups guy that would always go "heeyyyy nadiaaaaaa😊" and after that they’d be kinda weird and I told them that they made me uncomfy and scared eventually. but I blamed it on general anxiety and fear or male that I genuinely try to stop because I know they’re not all the same and I know it’s unfair but it’s all I’ve ever known and idk anyway, so then they started going "heeyyy (name)😊" ☠️☠️ right now that persons permanently banned. a commod friend told me that and some listeners saw his profile and said yeah it was a ban but idk who reported. it was really bad :') they honestly always got mad at me for that fear and made annoying examples and would go around telling others about it but they made it worse than anyone ever has before. but I don’t think it would’ve been weird💙I trust you more than most people so that’s something.

no it’s not just the same things everyone posts about. I don’t even go to rooms anymore, it’s pms bullying and so much lying and rumors and gossip and fake friends and sadists and people who talk behind others back and everyone knows what they’re doing they just don’t care. this genuinely reminds me of school now. everyone just talks bad about others to me and you know you need a reason to block someone right? I got blocked after my friend found out about some of the rumors and it’s just I’m getting shaky ill stop talking.

It’s with atls too and people do realize they just really don’t care. maybe the damage and hurt gives them more of a reason to keep going. sorry I’m being really sad right now I’m sorry soul :')🤍

yeah that is true. but honestly I never really cared about lurkers, I probably should but I mean :P I just don’t. TW I used to talk about sui here all the time and I know I said if anyone wanted to they could report me but it really wouldn’t do anything. I just don’t care I guess. idk if I can talk about it I just always feel really bad after 😞💜

I know you’re right but even on the first day I joined cups at all I ended up crying so hard I had to hold my breath because it was like 4am. there’s always been so much hurt and pain here and I feel like I made it all the way till here and maybe I want to but I don’t know if it’d be right to delete this whole thing :')💙thankyou for being here for me🤍I was meant to go do something before my dad came back but :') oh well.

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4 replies

mytwistedsoul June 26th

@iloveyouxx Aww no it's ok to be sad. I mean I'm sorry that you are of course but I can understand why talking or even thinking about all this would make you sad. It's a hurtful situation. It's always ok to be how ever you feel. I'd rather you be honest about it then pretend to be happy when you're not. You never have to be sorry ok?

This used to be a good place. A place where people felt heard and seen. Listeners cared or at least were better at acting as if they did. It's really sad and horrible that there's bullying in the PM's! Wow! I'm sorry to hear that it's happening. One thing I've realized not too long ago is that if people will talk bad about others to you - they'll do the same to you and talk bad about you to others. I figure if there's a problem with me or about me I'd rather hear it straight up

I'm glad you have trust in me. I give you my word that I'm not - well I mean I'm weird but not that kind of weird. (if that makes any sense) if you told me I made you uncomfortable - I would step back - no anger involved. I'd be sad and feel alittle hurt but I wouldn't be angry with you. I know alot of people have a general fear of men - especially if that's all they've known. I'm glad that person was banned. This isn't a place for inappropriate anything

You should probably try to get done what ever you were supposed to for your father. I know parents can get really upset about things like that

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4 replies

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

@mytwistedsoul

your notification just saved me :P also sorry if this is rushed I’m scared my dads gonna come back.

thankyou soul🩷

hold on I’m gonna count the listeners I’ve had lol. nvm they changed the home page thing. there used to be a little circle with an information thing on your profile next to which step you’re on and that would lead to all the listeners you’ve ever had and a bunch of other stuff and it would show the last time you pmd them too and last time I counted it was 70 something. actually I stopped at 70 something because I had to go but yk. none of them really ever :') idk. I don’t expect to be helped but well to be fair an amount of them were newbies. and I’m honestly almost always in the queue and then I get a listener some random time in the month and the one I got 2 today for some reason and one just went "Hey Nadia" hours ago and the other one sent pics and i didn’t click on them at first but I did and I just crossed them out from the chat section. the first might seem okay but the little rating thing and the bio and idk. I’m talking too much I’m sorry

yeah I have one friend that talked bad about every single one of my friends :') like apparently every single nice person I’ve ever met on cups is just horrible but it’s somehow so unbelievable and only to her and she talked about me too. and I found out and she blocked me and still talks bad about everyone. this is still all on cups. I’d die for someone to just talk to me like I remember last year I was really quiet and this girl raised her hand and asked the teacher why I always wore a mask :') I was quiet but that’s just because no one talked to me I could talk a lot if someone else started the convo. but it’s fine.

☠️😭that made me laugh lmao idk why☠️I was pretty much numb up until here, this part "I give you my word that I'm not - well I mean I'm weird but not that kind of weird" xD I’m not laughing at you at all tho it was just funny for some reason xD💜

(I saved it until here because my grandparents were getting mad at me for not eating :P but I’m back)

yeah I trust that you would lol💙thanks soul💜

honestly he’s gonna yell and get mad either way. I said I was sorry if this sounded rushed and then went on with a full essay. ;-; I’m actually gonna just stop talking about myself. I hate it so much when I do that idk how I keep doing it I really genuinely actually try to stop :') idk what’s wrong with me.

how’re you💙? please talk about yourself lol I feel so bad :’)💙

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4 replies

mytwistedsoul June 26th

@iloveyouxx Omg I could scream right now. I had this huge reply written up and the whole thing just poofed

The Internet gods must be angry with me

It's horrible growing up with volatile parents 😞 always feeling on edge when they're home

I just counted my listeners and came up with 94. 94! Omg 😳 although some of them are mods to open or close a room. Do you ever report the really bad ones? I don't think I've ever reported someone but I have blocked them. I think I know what you mean - like you don't expect them to really help but it would be nice to be able to have a real conversation and not hear a bunch of - fluff. About how it'll get better if you just give it time. Maybe that's just me lol. It's never a good thing when some random listener starts by sending pics 😕 It's different if it's a friend or someone you know that might send a pic of something they made or saw. But a random listener? 😬

Hey if it broke through the numbness and made you laugh that's a good thing! Although it did sound funny when I reread it 😂

I don't think talking about yourself is a bad thing - unless it makes you uncomfortable of course. I have a hard time doing that and actually wish I was better at it. My go to when people ask how I am is to just say I'm fine. Because my brain tells me it's just a formality that people ask that - not really so much that they care? That's sounds so horrible and I kind of hate saying it that way. Sometimes I'm probably alittle too honest with my thoughts

In all honesty though it feels like I've been fighting off an unending depression. I've just been really down lately about things that - I can't change. I keep hoping it'll pass but it just give me some slack sometimes for the anxiety to kick in. Mostly I'm grieving. I appreciate you asking 💙

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4 replies

iloveyouxx OP June 26th

_{I’m gonna go again. I might come back if my dad’s late or if he leaves again but idk.}

1 reply

LoveMyMoonflowers June 26th

@iloveyouxx

i've run out of hearts/reached the heart limit but me sending hugs 💜

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iloveyouxx OP June 27th

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3 replies

iloveyouxx OP July 3rd

@mytwistedsoul

oh wow xD that does sound like a long story I love long stories xD/nfta I’ve had some really crazy cups times before so I’m not that surprised but was it when you’d reply to others before them or just reply to others at all?🤍

wait really so it’s not just me :0 I just woke up, also yeah I’m really busy but I use my device after 12am and then just whenever I can, I don’t go out often :0 or…at all… :p okay maybe I do sometimes I just can’t remember the last time😅no it’s okay I like questions💜I can’t really be told things without detail idk if that counts as nosy :p💙

tw

yeah lol💜and it is okay but idk how to explain it. I started getting obsessed with being skinny when I was almost 9 and it’s just a lot of things that happened that would make me so much more dedicated to starving myself and all that. and it wouldn’t be things like insults on my weight mostly just compliments and I already noticed that for me when I get compliments on something i wanna do it better and when I was 10 I developed anorexia :p nd my bones popped out even my cheekbones but I still genuinely cried about my weight but for the wrong thing and yeah long story short I ate somewhere when I was 12 because I thought I was gonna di.e and I knew it was because I wasn’t eating and that’s a long story :') my lungs hurt so bad and my heart was so so so so loud and I didn’t have even a little bit of energy and I was shaking so I ate an apple and cried while eating the apple because I felt bad :') and um now I’m here with alot of worse symptoms but it’s less of body image even tho it is still bad but also just not caring about myself. I don’t remember when I last ate but I do eat when I’m really forced to :p so if we’re all outside in a big place with like all of my family for an event there’s always this one person that doesn’t take im not hungry not matter what☠️theyd actually attack me if I kept going like that-

nonono😅someone once told me they could turn into any animal😅and someone told me they had fire powers. and someone told me they were secretly a celebrity. and oh yeah so many people would tell me they could read my mind. people still didn’t believe in that stuff then. I had to learn that santa didn’t exist in the hardest way/srs and I thought he just died but he did exist. no it’s just that I trust too easily :')💜if you really push you could probably get anything out of me

I still hate this thread so much I prefer talking to you tho like 5 pages back :’)💙I had a dream that you got mad and started talking to a specific cups friend about how you don’t know how to stop talking to me and xD that me talking so much made you overwhelmed and you wanted to end the convo xD and then I woke up xD btw I know it doesn’t mean anything because I saw your upvotes last before I fell asleep and I’ve been having so many random cups friend dreams :p I had a dream my friend here worked at mcdonalds :p and I had another dream that everyone on cups had a get together except we were bubbles with our username hovering over us and I had a dream where my other cups friend had a youtube account and I had a dream where me and some cups friends were running from a dragon but we were all cartoons and pixelated and the dragon just needed some love. I had a dream where one of my cups friends was fighting me for a trophy :p and she was on a broom for some reason she was flying around

awwe ): I had the same problem and then I saw someone reply to a quora post talking about it and they said "why would anyone stop to call an ugly person pretty" (as an example) and when I used to go out with my aunt I always got complimented by strangers or my aunt would be seen as my mom and she would be told she had a beautiful daughter or something like that (not bragging or anything we were in a pretty closed? place I guess and it wasn’t that recent). in primary I had to write 3 things I love about myself :p and I was asking other people :p do you just doubt all of them in your head😞I feel like people get mad when I doubt their compliments

oh yeah I get distracted so easily but I think you’ve been replying well considering you probably have more life than me lol :0💙

that used to be different?💜:0 I know even if you have a wider screen it still goes away almost the same :')🤍I’m doubting that I tagged you right fsr but replying here because you wouldn’t be able to see it any other way- this is random but in my dream you were in teen side again and everyone was calling you twisted and it kept glitching to this website http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/ (tw flashing lights? and it’s really sudden) idk why and I still wasn’t convinced I was in a dream :pp💜

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3 replies

mytwistedsoul July 4th

@iloveyouxx With this particular person it's that I have to reply regularly to them. They don't hang out in the forums at all. To chat with them takes hours and it's hard to sit still that long. Not to mention having a conversation is me asking them questions and getting one word answers. It's just really draining. I have had people who got upset if I answered others first And others in general lol

Nope lol I think we all probably spend way too much time with our devices. I mean you can do just about anything with them. Plus they're easier to carry. I rarely spend time in the house but I live out in the woods and away from people so being outside is nice lol

Oh man 😞 you were so young! I mean I know there's a lot of people who think that being real skinny is beautiful - it's just not healthy. Which I. sure you know that and I don't mean to sound like I'm scolding you or trying to make you feel bad. You should eat at least something every day. I'm sorry - I'm probably saying all the wrong things right now

Oh lol! Well yeah those are kind of far fetched but would be pretty fascinating to a kid. I would have loved to be able to turn into an animal or control fire. If I was lucky being able to do both would have been awesome! 😎

You have some pretty wild dreams! I wouldn't do that. If I feel over whelmed I just get quiet for alittle. The bubble dream would be kind of cool. We're the bubbles different colors or anything? The pixelated one sounds pretty amazing. Especially with a dragon in it

It's even harder to compliment yourself. I see the threads here "name 3 things you love about yourself" I never go to those lol. Because if I say I'm kind - it sounds conceited? At least to my ears it does. But yeah I just keep those thoughts in my head

Thanks 😊 I try to keep up with replies but I do have work to do. Or someone needs my help with something - usually the neighbors lol. Plus there's pets

So I have to admit the wiggle worm on that site kept me busy for longer than it should have 😂 but that is so cool! Thank you!

As alittle p.s. - I hope you're ok. I don't know what happened - with the attempt - that's not something anyone should get mad at you for. Upset maybe - hurt yeah. But hurt because they care about you 💙

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3 replies

iloveyouxx OP July 9th

@mytwistedsoul

;-; hours of that? what would you even talk about? is it for them :p what’s the point of talking like that :p and if someone just gets upset because you replied to someone else before them that’s just weird unless it’s important I’m honestly just confused tho😅

woah thats so cool you have a farm too right? is it a farm? I think it would be freeing to live away from people outside lol <3 and take care of different animals and pets that’s the adorable and sweet part I’d like that, I genuinely always thought of getting done with graduation and becoming old enough to just travel and live far away from everything. I don’t know tho

😂😅no you’re not💙nd you dont have a reason to apologize💙I know it’s not and yeah but people are just beautiful naturally :p and that’s why it doesn’t always really suit the people that force it. I think and believe everyone’s beautiful because I don’t give any fake/stereotypical meanings to it, I guess I just don’t apply it to me

😭I know😭I’d still love those😛if I had to pick a power I.…..wouldnt be able to :p

nope we just had our usernames over us but um my dreams are really confusing and😶‍🌫️my friend turned into a book and started talking, the pixelated dream was cool tho💙oh and yeah thanks for the reassurance💙

aww if you did end up posting that tho I would agree and upvote it every 24 hours right after it refreshes, being conceited is showing an excessively high opinion of yourself and being kind is having/showing a friendly generous and considerate nature, I don’t think you’d sound conceited💙you know you wouldn’t do the same things to a person that’s hurt you- unless you would and it’s okay they probably deserve it anyway/j/j you know you care and think about others, I can describe you with the google meaning of kind :p💙friendly, generous, considerate💙I never know what to say for those either tho, in primary we had to write 3 things we love about ourselves on our table and I didn’t know what to write. and I started asking other people and they were like um I like your earrings you can say that and I actually did and I got to 2 and the teacher yelled at me to write 3 down :p I think I already told you about that

aww💙my neighbors are just idk. I barely consider them my neighbors they’re just there most the time. you reply really fast for someone who has a lot to do in the day💙

😂😂😂oh😂same😂 https://poki.com/en/g/runman-race-around-the-world#fullscreen you’re welcome I found it on the useless web :3 have you seen that? I go there when I’m bored

awe💙I feel kinda bad talking about it now but basically what happened was a close friend went to one of my other close friends pms and started talking about me I guess and um. yeah basically just saying they were so damn mad at me and :p I’m trying to explain it with a normal tone TvT but they were mad because (from their words) I knew how they were :p how they had this protective anger etc etc and I could’ve just upvoted or said something but um. I left for a week no exactly 7 days and they were already going to my friend about how now it’s like a broken friendship etc nd how I talked to everyone before them but I came back and talked to everyone the same hour including them and they knew I attempted and that’s why I was gone they knew that and they even said that that night they felt bad but the next day they were just "so damn mad at me" and yeah. :') but yeah to them I should’ve probably risen from the unconscious before I had to lose my best friend. It’s okay tho I mean I forgive them I kinda try talking about it but I know I’m not good at idk and they don’t want to and either way it’s fine I’m over it and it’s not that big of a deal I guess I hope they’re okay

im not making a lot of sense rn-

i honestly think I would’ve felt bad if this was gone and I never replied, I’m only able to be on at a really specific time and it’s really limited, you don’t have to reply to this💙

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3 replies

mytwistedsoul July 23rd

@iloveyouxx Well this one wasn't reply to very fast at all. I'm sorry about that. Idk I think the tags are screwy - which when haven't they been lol

It usually is me asking questions about any and everything to which he gives one word replies. Recently he's upset because I'm not meeting his expectations. Which it's not the first time

It's sort of a farm but yet not? There's woods all around with a small open area for the horse and the chickens have a spot. There's no cows here although I'd like one lol. They have the cutest little miniature highland cows now

It so sad that the teacher yelled at you because you didn't have three. That doesn't help at all when they yell 😕 especially if you're struggling to think of something good about yourself. Three things I would pick for you - thoughtful considerate and caring 💜

That game is alot harder than it looked! 😅 I'll have to try that again later. Thank you!

I'm sorry things went that way with your friend. It's hard when things like happen. It definitely could have been handled differently. They could have talked to someone that didn't know either of you. I can see maybe getting upset about the attempt and concerned for you 😕 Sometimes little time can help things smooth out. Hopefully that happens between you two 💜

Aww that's ok ok? There's no pressure to reply and I totally understand about only being able to be online at certain times. I definitely wouldn't want you to get into trouble

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2 replies

iloveyouxx OP July 23rd

@mytwistedsoul

it’s okayy and I know, it’s so hard keeping up with replies that way so I understand💙I just upvoted because I thought you didn’t get the tag- which- you didn’t :D

im gonna be honest tho it’s 3am- or almost, 2:53 am. and my dads definitely awake I can hear him on a call :p and- I’m being reallyyyyy risky xD😅because he forgot to take our devices. I surprise myself sometimes

its a listener right? nfta but how’re you not meeting his expectations💜?

awwwwwwee those are so adorable! I used to call them fluffy cows when I was younger, I don’t remember where I saw it but you had pictures of the horse and chickens, oh wait I just found them, it was from the snippets from your life forum, looking at those makes me feel like I’ve never seen real chickens or horses before or maybe it’s just been a while-? I’ve never seen any irl. still tho I think it’s really cool that you take care of animals like those💙it looks like it’d really peaceful to live there, is it?💜

she used to yell a lot at me for some reason and I was new to the school and I remember one time she yelled at me to go put these computers in the IT class and I went there and started crying lol T-T but once she said we should always consider others feelings and I started thinking maybe she was just having a bad day and I felt really bad and tried being kind to her every time I saw her and then she mocked me infront of the whole class for asking if she was okay when it was the class’s fault she was frustrated but I didn’t do anything but um it’s fine lol, awww thats so sweet💜💜I don’t know if I already said 3 things for you but even if I did I might as well do it again/j mmmm….empathetic loyal and kindhearted💙

xD😛I have so many medals on it and my friend on here that knows I play that says I need to get a hobby but… :p🤷🏻‍♀️it’s easier to play on wider screens, you’re welcome xD🩵

maybe? hopefully. I mean I’m okay with it now I hope they're okay tho, thankyou💜

that only took me 26 minutes woah :0 well that’s little for me, but I didn’t get in trouble or anything💙he locked the door on himself and that usually means he’s not coming out any time soon I’m glad I took the time to reply to this before he woke up tho, thanks for talking to me💙/gen

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1 reply

mytwistedsoul July 24th

@iloveyouxx Thank you. I try to keep up but yeah sometimes it's impossible. And when the tags are goofy it's even harder

I admire you're bravery! You must keep a finger ready on the close tabs button lol

It is a listener. He actually messaged me but not for me to talk to him about anything I'm dealing with. But for us to talk about things he's dealing with. It started when I had very few boundaries. I actually do feel bad for him tho because I know he's got alot going on but I suck at keeping up with people's expectations

Yes! They are fluffy cows! 😊 The horse's name is Danny. He's pretty cool and very friendly. The chickens are pretty friendly too and they like to be petted and will take treats from your hands

That teacher sounds like she should choose a new profession. 😕 Idk if people realize that things like that are what makes it harder for kids to go to them when they have problems later on. It's bad enough to get yelled at all the time but to mock someone is just really cruel

Hey that's great! I didn't know you could get medals on it! I'll definitely have to check it out on the laptop. Hey playing games is a hobby too. Anything you like doing can be a hobby I think

It takes me forever to type sometimes lol I get sidetracked too easily at times

Thank you too for talking with me 💙

How's your foot doing? Is the pain alittle less now?

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iloveyouxx OP June 27th

₁₉

in the wonders of my mind💗.

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