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In the Corner

unassumingEyes January 18th

Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3

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unassumingEyes OP April 9th

I know what id say in a goodbye letter

Not that im going to i promise not anytime soon but you know

I know what itd say-

unassumingEyes OP April 10th

@iloveyouxx Eid Mubarak lovely šŸ’• will you dress up? Eid is the only time i really do šŸ™ƒ we have soo many guests coming today. My dads here nd im not gonna study all day

Excited šŸ™ƒ

Hope you have a great eid šŸ’•Ā 

8 replies
iloveyouxx April 10th

@unassumingEyes

awe Iā€™m sorry- I was vvv busy todayy TvTšŸ©·eid mubarakšŸ’•šŸ’•Iā€™m going to a hotel :00šŸ’œand Iā€™ve been getting loads of gets today too xDšŸ’™then I went to my uncles house and played with their cats a lot- friska and prince- theyā€™re so cutešŸ„ŗšŸ’–yay to not studying all day :0 and seeing your dad :0šŸŽ‰šŸ„–šŸ’—Iā€™m excited too but kinda scared TvTšŸ¤hope yu do toošŸ©·

7 replies
unassumingEyes OP April 10th

@iloveyouxx

Oh you sound busyĀ busy :pĀ 

Ive been a bit scared too :p do u want to say why ur scared?/nfta

Hugs if oki šŸ¤

6 replies
iloveyouxx April 11th

@unassumingEyes

I know Iā€™m sorryšŸ˜­I didnā€™t even get time to make the text teenie or spell anything right :P Iā€™m at the hotel rn TvT yu donā€™t get how purfect it is TvT I was gonna take photos and post them in my space- Iā€™ll tag you :0šŸ©·we might switch rooms in a second tho- Iā€™m on floor 27 :PP and the room is 2701 but the rest of my family went to check out the other room :0šŸ’œ

awwe why scared lovelyĀ :') <3?/nfta nu itā€™s nothing I just thought my dad would like make me swim since he payed a lotta money and stuff and the swimming pools are great here- plus I used to *love* swimming as a kid but now itā€™s just uncomfy yk T^TšŸ’™

plus just scared about term3- itā€™s been on my mind all spring breakĀ :') but issokiešŸ’œ

I actually had to go again while typing this but Iā€™m back and this didnā€™t get deletedšŸ˜­

we switched to 2703 :PP

i wanna talk about it all but I donā€™t wanna sound like Iā€™m braggingšŸ˜­šŸ˜­

weā€™re not busy atm- lights are switched off and Iā€™m rolled in a comfy blanket :333

I feel like everyone needs a couple days or more here heheāœØthis makes me feel so broke ;-;-

I saw the burj khalifa :000šŸ’—

hugs are okiešŸ’•squeezing you tight if okayšŸ©·sorryyy if Iā€™m like I dunno making you feel bad or sounded like I was braggingĀ :')šŸ’œI donā€™t mean tošŸ’™but yus Iā€™ll tag yu for photos if yuā€™d like :0šŸ’•imma poof for a bit but Iā€™ll try to reply earlier next time :P <33

5 replies
unassumingEyes OP April 11th

@iloveyouxx

Dont apologize over being busy :00 issok

ļ»æi get u lol when we finished moving pt2 im like wowwww look at this place xD. But then it feels like ohhh im bragging xD. But its ok! And feel free to tag me id love to seeĀ 

I cant swim :p im scared abit cuz after my dads 2 week visit here (which started yesterday, on eid :p) idk when we cn meet him again which is scary :(

Ew school :p

Talk about whatever u want!! I dont mind :p

Glad ur resting nadia frnd

Burj khalifa is amazing- but i was like 7 when i saw it so i dont remember much šŸ¤­

hugs are okiešŸ’•squeezing you tight if okayšŸ©·

HugssĀ 

Oki tccc šŸ’•

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unassumingEyes OP April 10th

That went well. We had like all our cousins over and by all i mean all 8 of em =D and we went to a park (oof, so crowded) and 4 kids cried in total šŸ¤­šŸ‘šŸ‘

unassumingEyes OP April 10th

@iloveyouxx tommy helped get.my post back. Thank you love šŸ¤

unassumingEyes OP April 11th

Tired

unassumingEyes OP April 11th

Saw this online

I failed, but I wasn't a failure

I hurt, but I wasn't a victim

*thinks*

In theory this is right...in practice?Ā 

"Ofcourse not" my brain says. "If you failed, ur a failure! Whats more to it?"Ā 

Stupid brain

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers April 11th

@unassumingEyes

thatā€™s definitely something to think about šŸ¤”Ā 

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unassumingEyes OP April 11th

Concerned about my healthĀ 

Vision troubles, feeling faint, tired easily, headaches taking a bigger toll on me etc...

Either i lost too much weight or lost it too suddenly

Idk m a bit worried tbhĀ 

Like i just hv a normal, usual headache but here i am in bed barely able to type feelin so tired and drainedĀ 


unassumingEyes OP April 11th

Tw (death, cemetery, grave)

I was scrolling old pics and found my maternal grandfather's grave pic. I didnt kno we had that, ive never seen it before. Ive always thought ill be buried in pakistan- ofcourse i would! But

But

His grave doesnt have a carved headstone, it has a board on it with a marker writing his name and "La Illaha Illah Allah"

There is no god but Allah (God).

The cemetery floor is not levelled- each grave is raised, and you can clearly see it. Theres no bouqette of flowers, rather roseĀ petals are thrown all over the grave. Similar rose petals are used in local weddings. I dont know what to make of that little detail.

My cousin who saw the death always assured us, he died- laughing. But whats it change? He is in the ground. I dont think he or my late paternal aunt got coffins. Just bags in the ground.

Im creeped out

iloveyouxx April 12th

@unassumingEyes

this is really random but I got the urge to check on you again :PšŸ©·( @justmeeva do I get another award >:DD??/lh)

howā€™re you eyeslovely <3? (and other frendosšŸ’•@LoveMyMoonflowers @justmeeva )

I missed you tho we talked like yesterday I think :PšŸ’œ

todays national grilled cheese sandwich day XD I dunno- when Iā€™m bored I search up what say we celebrate today :PP is that weird ;-;?šŸ¤

itā€™s also hamster dayyšŸ„ŗšŸ¹šŸ’–

eyesbuddy I wonder if thereā€™s a baguette dayšŸ§or potato dayy :00šŸ„”šŸ’—

*googles*āœØĀ 

21 march is international french baguette day XD and potato day is 19th or august XD 4 days after my birthday :PPšŸ¤

anywho I started blabbering hehe whoops <3 howā€™re youšŸ’•šŸ’•?


4 replies
unassumingEyes OP April 12th

@iloveyouxx

Cheers for nadias second award šŸ„³šŸ„³šŸ„³

Immmmmmmmmmmmm......meh šŸ™ƒ just had some family drama lols sorry :DĀ 

(Carefully constructed Eid walls around bad feelings are falling down as Eid goes and now im kinda like messing up and lashing out :/)

I miss you every second in the most non creepy way šŸ©· and thank u tho ur making me feel all šŸ™ƒ when earlier i was all šŸ˜ž

My sister will love that tidbit of info šŸ¤­ big grilled cheese sandwich fan.

Thats a nice lil..whats the word, quirk? Of yours imo. We all have these little things that are a part of our essence. I love the word essence for some reason xD.

Awww hamsterrrs

All days are potato daysĀ 

Idk why it makes sense for potato day to be on august šŸ™ƒ

21 march is smth else too i cnt remember...my aunt and uncles anniversary i think?

Next time i buy them bagguette šŸ„–

I am šŸ¤­ but tbh better than before seeing this šŸ™ƒ thank u šŸ©· hru?

ļ»æ

3 replies
iloveyouxx April 12th

@unassumingEyes

yusss a social butterfly :DāœØāœØšŸŽ‰šŸŽ‰šŸ„³šŸ’–

awešŸ’œwe hate family drama D:šŸ’™what happened lovely >:šŸ©·/nfta at all.šŸ¤

šŸ©· yu so sweetšŸ„ŗšŸ’œI do toošŸ’•just didnā€™t wanna sound weird xDšŸ’™I told one of my cups friends that Iā€™d missed her and she was like "huh how we talked like 2 days ago?" TvT- we donā€™t talk as much now but I guess that just made me I dunno try and act like I *dont* get attached to almost everyone that seems "nice" to me~āœØ:')

xDĀ 

ā€¦~āœØessenceāœØ~ā€¦whys that such a..luxurious xD word ajsjnsjsixksi xDāœØāœØšŸ‘‘

yusss hamsterssss :33šŸ¹šŸ˜›šŸ’™

yk also most people in the world are born on august :P Iā€™m so random xD maybe I was gonna say smth like including potatoes tho most potatoes and people were invented on augustāœØI- honestly donā€™t understand myselfšŸ˜­šŸ« 

hehehe 21 march is a lotta things :P international color day, memorial day, human rights day, world poetry day, world down syndrome day, harmony day, etcetc :PP omg yuss buy em a baguettešŸ„–šŸ„–šŸ„–

awwe Iā€™m so happy I made you betteršŸ©·šŸ©·even if itā€™s only a little-šŸ’•

im- hmĀ :'P *deletes paragraph*āœØi could be better but issokiešŸ’™I wonā€™t dump on you hehe :PšŸ’œ

2 replies
unassumingEyes OP April 12th

ļ»æ@iloveyouxx

We love a social queen šŸ’• and an antisocial queen šŸ’• and just a queen if its nadia queen šŸ’•šŸ’•

*considers answering*Ā 

*doesnt know if i shld*

I get attached. So much. So easily. And then i just u know am a horrible human being šŸ¤— i wont explain that o.0 u probably dont get it šŸ« 

I love the word essence. I like it better than just "personality" or "character". Its more than that. Its...our essence xD idk

Hamsters for the winnn āœØļøāœØļø

I have another frnd born in august so im not surprised šŸ¤­ she loves potatoes too šŸ™ƒ potatoes and people. Heh

Baguette šŸ„– forĀ  ur anniversary, my dear aunt xD. Shed see the humour in it. Shes cool like that

(World poetry day? Im in love with a day now xD)

šŸ©·

Dump on me and i dump on you? Like trading secrets. Nfta at all but just an idea šŸ™ƒ

Love youuuu šŸ’•

ļ»æ

1 reply
iloveyouxx April 12th

@unassumingEyes

awwe hehe puts crown onšŸ˜›šŸ‘‘āœØāœØāœØšŸ’•šŸ’•

I feel like I kinda do in a different way. I feel like Iā€™ve gotten so attached to our friend they donā€™t even like me anymore and now Iā€™m fighting my own mind cos they genuinely meant a lot to meĀ :') I have no idea why they kinda..switched..tho. I really loved themĀ :') (platonicallyšŸ’œlike the way I love @justmeeva lmao nothing weird :PšŸ©·)(and all of you ofc hehe I just thought of eva randomly as sumone I love xD)Iā€™m sorry if it seems like others donā€™t understand thošŸ’œ

nu I love it too and agree so much XDāœØāœØāœØessenceāœØāœØāœØ

hehe thatā€™s funny lol xD potatoes and peoplešŸ§šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤šŸ„”āœØ

oouu cool aunt hehešŸ˜›Iā€™d have to explain that a bunch of times before my aunt understood it lol :PšŸ’™

(fr xD I love everything poetryšŸ–¤āœØ)

nah I love that ideašŸ’–/gen :D okay :D get readyšŸ˜­šŸ˜›imma try and not be annoying :3 today I went to the pool which I guess wasnā€™t as scary as I thought. but my hairs so fricking messed upšŸ˜­everyone thatā€™s seen my natural hair before always says that millions would do literally anything for my hair and I have it natural. but I hate it so much. my natural hair is curly and poofy and thick. it probably doesnā€™t even suit me cos people say they canā€™t imagine what Iā€™d look like with curly hair since I always have it straight. this is the dumbest thing to talk about but Iā€™ve always been so concerned about how I look since I was like 6šŸ˜­I get a hair treatment every 6 months and get it done in between- so that itā€™s always straight ofc. and no Iā€™m not like spoiledĀ :') my aunts older than my dad so she forces him to let me and sheā€™s the one that takes me each time- my aunts just like the rest of my family which like whatever I guessĀ :') but sheā€™s actually kinda nice. all the females in my family- istg and Iā€™m not even joking- every time they see literally anyone they say one of these "they lost so much weight" "they gained so much weight" "theyā€™re so fat omg" "theyā€™re so skinny omg" "they need to lose weight" "they need to gain weight" "theyā€™re so ugly" actually no Iā€™d go on but you get it. eating disorders run in my family and Iā€™m not even joking. my family fights every. single. time. we eat. not to get the food. but to not. "you havenā€™t eaten anything in weeks" "I swear I ate no stop Iā€™m so full I swear on the quran Iā€™m not eating" "now you eat" "tell you what? sit down and eat before I do something I donā€™t want to" etc. it goes on but. o wellĀ :') I developed anorexia when I was really young. I genuinely didnā€™t eat for months and Iā€™m not over exaggerating- my ribs popped out but yk what even when my bones popped out I still looked in the mirror and broke down. Iā€™d go on the weight scale every 5 minutes and Iā€™d excercise so much Iā€™d feel my heartbeat in my legs and my body would go numb and all that- at some point I woke up to my heart beating- *so* loud. not too fast. but loud. Ā ended up in hospital. where my dad fought with the nurse. yk why? cosĀ :') see I donā€™t like this part cos no one ever beleives it. my dad hates it when someone compliments me. but yeah I went far off sorry. then thereā€™s the males in my family. I.. donā€™t even know what to say bout themĀ :') rapi.sts. when I was 7 years old I was playing on my male cousins ipad. and I know this part will sound bad but basically on my grandmas phone there were *so* many photos of that cousin and his sister, my other cousin, literally in so many places and traveling all over the world, and I know itā€™s stupid but I swear as a 7 year old my one and only intention was to look at those again cos I swear I found it so cool and always liked going through those and searching in an ipad is prolly dumb but it genuinely was my only intentionĀ :') to admire all those places and cool edits and all that- and ofcĀ :') I opened the photos app- and. weā€™re just gonna say inappropriate photos. I didnā€™t even know. stuff. as a 7year old. so.Ā :'D when I realized what it was I closed it right away and every single night for idk how long Iā€™d remember it. not picture it. thatā€™s just *** gross. but Iā€™d remember and i had this horrible feeling in my stomach- and since then every time Iā€™d be doing something random or fun or smth Iā€™d get that feeling and everything would be ruined. itā€™s nothing thoĀ :') now that weā€™re in a hotel my dad has to sleep with me. not- like that- ew. like next to me. cos we have 2 beds and everything else was fully booked tho my dad argued with the lady- she kept telling him it was fully booked but yk my dad. so now the second I fall asleep he. idek dudĀ :') "touches me inappropriately" I guess. you prolly know about my mom- or maybe I didnā€™t say it in this forum- my mom ran away from my dad when I was 3(years old). ever since then my dadsā€¦..I donā€™t like saying this wordšŸ˜­ ever since then my dads Rā€™d me and abused me. I was 3. and now Iā€™m. well Iā€™ve stopped saying my age on here cos it reminds me of smth but Iā€™m between 13 and 18 obv :P. he still does but whatever.Ā :') Iā€™m so scared eyes. well atp Iā€™m just talking to myself. but imma still say eyes. eyeslovely.. in my country- if I were to report my dad for everything- not just R/SA thereā€™s more. if I were to go to police and stuff. my dad would either go through life sentence- or death sentence. I know I wonā€™t I never will but thatā€™s so big eyes you donā€™t get it itā€™s so unimaginable. I canā€™t do anything here anymore. I found a gun in my dads drawer and *** heā€™s not a police btwā˜ ļøi feel like Iā€™m taken over eyes. Iā€™m so small compared to people. Iā€™m everyoneā€™s puppet. I shut up and I do what Iā€™m told. and yk what *** me who cares about me right? itā€™s just my dad not stopping when I bleed or scream and him being dangerous and yk other stuff I wonā€™t go on about. but Iā€™ve seen him abuse a cat eyes. my cat. *** I call him my baby. louis. you know louis. youā€™ve seen him. he didnā€™t like hurt him bad he just..does stuff like pretend to just be walking and purposely kick the cat hard, press on its tail. I take it away ofc. he has no empathy. I donā€™t get people eyes. louis so innocent and she meows so cutely when sheā€™s sad but- itā€™s so sad. and that cups friend. I say Iā€™ll forget about it but itā€™s almost always on my mind with a bunch of other stuff. like the fact we have to swim for those 6 weeks every Wednesday. I donā€™t know how ill get out of it. you donā€™t get it no one gets it/lh/nm. what am I really expected to do-. I have Ms oā€™hara this term for all my pe classes for some damn reason and ofc she has to be that one teacher that couldnā€™t give two *** bout youĀ :') I swear Iā€™m praying that i break a bone or some *** so I donā€™t have to swim. I know it sounds extra. but people in my set are so nasty eyes- not in a health way just personality- so judgy and cruel and just. evil. they donā€™t care. I thought they cared about looks but yk in my school I used to get complimented almost everyday and no thatā€™s not common. at all. o yay look my dads back and he just threatened me. he went on his phone and I guess I can stay abit but Iā€™m sorry eyeslove I canā€™t risk anything- I love youšŸ©·

you donā€™t have to read or reply- just have your turn to dump on me hehe :PšŸ©·and Iā€™ll read when I can- I love this idea btw- I needed it- thankyoušŸ’–reallyšŸ’•šŸ’•/vvgenšŸ’–

love you moreeešŸ’•šŸ’•

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unassumingEyes OP April 12th

Tw im in that mood again. The one where i deliberately want to trigger myself. Thats a weird one huh? Ive searched up in these moods, how to purposefuly trigger yourself. It doesnt make sense, i know. Youre thinking "why would you want to do that?" Idk. Its like another of my own weird sh forms. Trying to trigger myself. I deserve it. I dont. I do. I dont know.