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A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)

Optimisticempath April 10th, 2022
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Uh hello if anyone is reading this! ๐Ÿ˜€

I have no idea why I'm even creating this thread but i just feel it will be nice to have a place to share some thoughts or even these images on the internet that i always keep saving for myself because i relate too much but cannot share it with anyone because yes haha

I'm okay with replies here so feel free to drop by anytime โค๏ธ

Just please be kind and respectful if your replying to my posts.

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Optimisticempath OP April 28th
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@LoveMyMoonflowers huggies you back ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

LoveMyMoonflowers April 28th
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@Optimisticempath

๐Ÿ’œ

VictoriaLove7 April 27th
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@Optimisticempath

*๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ huggss Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• tightttt ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’•*

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Optimisticempath OP April 26th
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a loss reminder day .....

idk how to get through this.... been so many years but it's all so fresh still....i can chronologically assign the events of this day many years back.... even now...ย 

but no wanna think or remember....๐Ÿ˜–

hidey...

VictoriaLove7 April 27th
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@Optimisticempath

*me sits & hide with Milky ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ if okie*

do you wanna talkie about it, Milky? ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ

Optimisticempath OP April 28th
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@VictoriaLove7

no talkie ๐Ÿฅบ

*hugs and hidey with ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธย 

๐Ÿช๐Ÿช for ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ because ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ is the sweetest bear everr

VictoriaLove7 April 28th
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@Optimisticempath

*nom nom ๐Ÿช ๐Ÿช ๐Ÿฅ , ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ huggiess Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•, & hidey with Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ*

me ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ will keep you safe, Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ

RachelListener April 27th
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@Optimisticempath

Hugss till you feel better ๐Ÿฅบ

Perhaps therapy for those hurty memories?๐Ÿฅบ



Optimisticempath OP April 28th
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@RachelListener

nu therapy ... therapy is not an option...๐Ÿ˜”

*hugs you tight ๐Ÿ’•

Katapilar April 27th
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Heyy I just wanted to ask you what is your personality type? I absolutely love asking these types of things cuz there just so fun!

Optimisticempath OP April 28th
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@Katapilar

hi it's nice to meet you and that's a cool ice breaker for a change ๐Ÿ’•

mhm i think it was infj or isfj...need to check again ๐Ÿ˜…

what about you?ย 

Optimisticempath OP May 1st
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how does hunger work....does something tell you to ...eat? or uh? when to eat...

appetite so low these days...i don't remember to eat till there's people around ... and its embarrassing to lie about this...i don't want to..but idk..

urgh ๐Ÿ˜ฃย 


RachelListener May 1st
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@Optimisticempath

Sometimes we don't feel like eating because we feel stressy or something. But perhaps setting an alarm to remind us when it is eating time would help? ๐Ÿฅบ

Optimisticempath OP May 4th
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@RachelListener mhm can try alarms ...maybe๐Ÿฅบ

RachelListener May 5th
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@Optimisticempath

There is also an eating reminder app that perhaps you can use ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’• *hugs till you feel better*๐Ÿฅบ

Optimisticempath OP May 1st
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what.am.i.even.doing.bruh๐Ÿ˜ญย 

Optimisticempath OP May 1st
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life looks a lot like just urgh ๐Ÿ’€

but that's totally coooooooooolllllllll ๐Ÿคก we are totallyyyy fiiineeeeee๐Ÿฅณ

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VictoriaLove7 May 1st
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@Optimisticempath

me will sit with Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ through it all if okie ๐Ÿฅบ

Optimisticempath OP May 4th
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@VictoriaLove7 hugs rainbow bear tight ๐Ÿฅบ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿค—

VictoriaLove7 May 4th
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@Optimisticempath

*Hugsss Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• tightttt ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅ›๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ*

Optimisticempath OP May 4th
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"everything happens for a reason"

"you cannot control somethings"

"you shouldn't think or feel sad about it because you can't do anything about it"

"your wasting time thinking about it"

"for how long will you hold on to it?"

.... uh..ik...im sad and hurting not dumb (i might be dumb too smh but like that much im sure ik๐Ÿ˜”)

idk how long tho...there is no timeline to it.. :(ย 

VictoriaLove7 May 4th
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@Optimisticempath

It is not dumb to feel that way, Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ it is vv human, & it is okie to take our time to process things ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’•

*sits & huggiess Milky tightttt ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿค—๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ*

Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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@VictoriaLove7 thank you ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ *hugs back tightly ๐Ÿ’•

mytwistedsoul May 4th
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@Optimisticempath *offers safe hugs* I'm sorry you're hurting and sad OptiBear ๐Ÿ˜ž


You're definitely not dumb ๐Ÿ’™โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™

"everything happens for a reason" unhelpful - some things there is no good reason or at least nothing that makes sense to us

"you cannot control somethings" true but also unhelpfulย 

"you shouldn't think or feel sad about it because you can't do anything about it" It amazes me that people think this wayย 

"your wasting time thinking about it" If it's something/someone that was important you're going to think about it. It's not wasted time. Some things we can't help but think about because there was no resolution or closureย 

"for how long will you hold on to it"ย 

You're absolutely right. There isn't a timeline or time limit. We go through everything at our own pace and if people can't understand or accept that then that's on them ๐Ÿ’™
Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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@mytwistedsoul

Not Soul being so thoughtful as always ๐Ÿฅบ you actually took time to invalidate all those unsupportive and invalidating comments Soul???๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ im crying now...you are too kind to me ๐Ÿฅบ... thank you for being you โคย 

yes apparently some do๐Ÿ˜” some of these v recently came from someone who said they like me and who i kinda started to like too.... they seem more logical to things...and then i end up feeling really stupid for even saying something ๐Ÿ˜” it's v complicated on top of other things... but it's been hitting me really hard ... so you saying all this and reminding me really does mean a lot to me ๐Ÿฅบ vv grateful for you โคโค

i don't have a lot of words rn but i really really appreciate this and you ๐Ÿฅบ bless you Soul โคโคโค hugs back tightly and doesn't let goย 

mytwistedsoul May 9th
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@Optimisticempath *squeezies you tight* โค๏ธ I guess I did lol

It sounds really complicated ๐Ÿ˜• It's really hard when we like and care someone and think they'll understand where we're coming from and then they say things that hit so hard ๐Ÿ˜ž And our brains being the bullies that they are - they latch on to these things and it gets stuck in our heads. I know it just ends up causing trouble because we think about it over and over ๐Ÿ˜• and then maybe we start to question ourselves - whether what we feel and think is right. We maybe try to convince ourselves that we're wrong but the thoughts and feelings are still there - so there must be something wrong with us because other people don't seem to think this way ๐Ÿ˜ž The thing is they might have never been in this situation or they might not have gone through anything close to what we have.ย  So it's easy for them to say things like that
Idk maybe that doesn't make sense ๐Ÿ˜…ย 

I hope things work out to something good for you โค๏ธย 
Lots of love to you OptiBear โค๏ธ โค๏ธ


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@Optimisticempath

this is so true :( i hate it when people tell us there are some things that are or aren't in our control! thats the one that hit the most <3 I had a teacher who used to tell me that about things that were going on at home and its so frustrating :/ there are some phrases people use that are just so.... strangely discouraging and just not comforting at that moment.ย 

i hear you opti <3ย 

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Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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@amiableBunny4016

bunwee ๐Ÿ’• yes exactly ... its so discouraging and invalidating and not comforting at all... because everyone knows things happen and happened and there isn't anything they can do to change it but we don't need that reminder when we are struggling already ๐Ÿฅบ wish people could just be silent if they don't have good things to say ๐Ÿ˜”ย 

it makes me wonder tho if they'd like to hear that if they were going through similar situation? or if there's something wrong with me to find it unsupportive ๐Ÿ˜… im stuck too many times...about what to say to support but i do try my best to not say anything that I wouldn't want to hear either ...๐Ÿฅบ

wow this got long...i didn't mean to blabber ๐Ÿ˜… just appreciate your support and kindness bunwee ๐Ÿ’•ย 

hugs you and sends luvvv back to you ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

happy birthday again buddy ๐Ÿ’•

Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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lol thanks for reading the title anyway xD im never sure what to put there so funny braincells helped a little ๐Ÿ’€now that my awkward self has brought some humor here we can dig deeperrr xDย 


umm idk where to begin tho...im kinda reallly not sure what is it that i want or am wanting to hear ...but some insight or opinions or experiences etc if relatable might be nice ... we can try at least ๐Ÿ˜…


im not sure if i wanna let this person in... they like me..even said they luv me...๐Ÿ’€ like romantically.. but im so scared ๐Ÿ’€

my emotions are all over the place...and most of the time im not even sure im real or anything around me is...so imagineย 


incompleteย 

.... dont know if i should share this in another thread or...idk...later maybeย 

VictoriaLove7 May 8th
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@Optimisticempath

Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ

me read, follow your heart but bring brain too ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•

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Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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uh...i just...i feel ๐Ÿ˜” ... im sorry ...for being me..๐Ÿคก ... and sorry to everyone for tolerating me or like trying to keep up with me.....ive never meant to cause hurt to anyone ... but if ive ever had...im really really sorry ...just a pile of stupidity here...๐Ÿ˜–...

sometimes being alone is really it ..that way no one gets annoyed or hurt..ย 

just gonna go back to hidey...

mytwistedsoul May 7th
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@Optimisticempath Hey you โค๏ธ Can I say that we talk with you and try to support and encourage you because we like you and care about you? I've never felt that I had to tolerate you in any way - shape - or form. I'm sure the others that visit your thread feel the same way. You're our friend and we love you as you areย 

*adds cushions and blankets to Opti's hidey space* โค๏ธ

Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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this was supposed to be white too but glad cups didn't like me either and decided to collapse the text anyway ... great!!๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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ok braincells jumping weirdly now smh .... does anyone know why some are collapsed and others aren't??๐Ÿ‘€ย 

RachelListener May 12th
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@Optimisticempath

This might not be related, but ๐Ÿฅบ hope this will be something to help to distract from meanie thoughts

I recently learned that humans can grow braincells everyday ๐Ÿง ย 

*hugs till you feel better*๐Ÿฅบ

Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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spamming your own forum is โœจfunโœจย 


Optimisticempath OP May 7th
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as you should have ... thank you ...if not too much to ask from you... lock the door on your way out please :)ย 


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cozy down here ๐Ÿ˜‡

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did pay with my mental health tho. . so its compensatedย  :)

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VictoriaLove7 May 8th
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@Optimisticempath

*Huggss Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ tightttt ๐Ÿฅบ*


Optimisticempath OP May 14th
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i feel like crying ... a lot... you know one of those times you just know you've got so much in your heart.... it's heavy ...gets heavier and there seems no escape or relief .... idk tho i don't really have a very recent or current valid reason to cry... but it's just so heavy inside....

i feel like a horrible person ๐Ÿ˜” either im not saying, doing anything... being life less and with 0 expression on face... or im snappy and irritated at literally everything and everyone .... specially when someone tries talking to me or asking me something .... there's a ton of loneliness im stuck in but at the same time .... i really am fine till anyone's around or tries talking .... just wanna be left alone to keep my silence... at least on the outside..... inner world is pure chaos...nd i dont even know what to think of it..... and then it hurts so much ... later...snapping at someone...being so moody and rude for no good reason or good reason known to them ... should just hide๐Ÿ˜”

VictoriaLove7 May 14th
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@Optimisticempath

Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’• it is alright to cry, it might help to release our stress or any feelings that have overwhelmed us ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’—

chu is not a horrible person, because me sure there are circumstances or situations that make chu feel stressful & feel irritated at everything or everyone. Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• has been doing the best you could, everyday, even if chu might feel it is not enough ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’—

Know that me is vvvv glad that chu exist, Milky๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ

Rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ ๐Ÿงธ hopes that Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ’• try to be patient with chuself, just the way chu is being gentle to rainbow bear ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ’—

*Huggsss Milky ๐Ÿฅ›๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿฅบ tightttt*