a question
We all have reasons for being on/in Cups-Land. For us members those reasons are almost always bad to horrible--the more you read in the forums & the more you hang out in the chat rooms, the more you know this truth. I am no exception. I got to thinking about it, & came to the following:
Are you here because you decided to join 7Cups, or are you here because your problems brought you here?
That is, did you make a choice or was it your fate to wind up on the site? Is human agency real or is it an illusion held by bipedal organisms influenced by environment & heredity?
I lean toward the 2nd answer, even though it feels like we make our own decisions. What do you think? Please explain your answer as best you can.
@slowdecline48 I am here on 7cup because loss of my dad on November 13, 2023, he passes away I need someone talk to about my grief and pain loss my dad and still not better yet and, but people said take time to heal and so glad 7cup help me feel little bit better about my situation
@countrygirl9988 My dad passed away 6 days later. I still feel torn up about it.
@slowdecline48 I came here at first because of problems with SH and anxiety and depression and isolation
I think it started as a choice - deciding to look for help of some kind but maybe it was fate that led me to this site
@slowdecline48 Jesus brought me here.
@Confider Oh? I've heard about Jesus more than once, but never about Jesus giving specific advice to a follower of his, as in "go to the place such-&-such". This is reminiscent of the story of Abraham. (seriously)
@slowdecline48 Nah. Don't get me wrong, I didn't have a vision or anything. it was much more subtle. Although. I am beginning to feel like Jesus is calling me out of here now.
Are you here because you decided to join 7Cups, or are you here because your problems brought you here?
To be honest, I'm here because my life is a trainwreck, but I don't feel like I belong here a lot of times...I'm surprised I haven't been banned yet for my (controversial) opinions...I don't want to specify too much(because I'll probably get banned), but let's just say in real life, there's a certain political leaning that's all "sunshine & rainbows" with toxic positivity, and if you don't agree with them, it's harsh consequences (ex. My old job would try to out people with opposing political views and make their life h***) and they're not as nice, as they try to make themselves appear, it's fake niceness...I try to escape that, but it seems to seep through this website too. I feel like I belong nowhere. I just feel tired. I just saw a post that's rather derogatory towards men, and I don't like it. I have a son(who's autistic), and he's struggled with a lot and dealt with abuse from an aunt and female cousin of his on my ex's side of the family (long story...).
A certain political group has said awful things like "Would you rather raise a daughter or an abortion?" and how they would have an abortion, since they don't want to raise an "oppressor" and I don't find it funny at all. Tired of those types of politics seeping in here. I hate the buzzwords of "toxic", "privilege", and "oppressed". I am "brown" and a "minority" in the current country I reside in, but I do NOT like to be called a POC. Please, no. I don't like it. I don't want these people speaking for me. I don't want to be patronized. I hate it. I see stuff upsetting here on 7cups, and it makes me want to leave.
I have other (heavy) psychological issues, but I can't discuss it here or it could get reported for not being politically correct, and I might get called "hateful". I guess my beliefs might be seen as "radical" here...so it's better to keep my mouth shut...and talk about lighter topics...It's disappointing...I don't know where else to go when talking about these kinds of heavy topics. I'll get trolled on other websites if I do...
@ImpudentIncognito My politics probably aren't exactly like yours but yeah, I get where you're coming from. It sounds like we have a few common enemies. That's not a nice thing to say, but in this modern age of resurgent tribalism expressed through ideology, it is the truth...& probably an irresolvable one. As of late, I've become rather skeptical of "diversity" as a modern value. Without a common culture, no society can endure for any significant length of time; low levels of social trust & rising factionalism will inevitably fracture a highly diverse society. "Tolerance" only goes so far. Not even an authoritarian regime can keep such a society together indefinitely...but I digress.
It's cliched to say, but...you are not alone, Cog.
@slowdecline48
i agree with you and I am the same came here bc of problems however I decided to become a listener and then forumlajd helping out there and love it.
The issues that brought me here resolved but mental health is so important for everyone and having a place to be your tribe where you belong is quite lovely.
I enjoy the folks I am getting to know. Glad to be back. I have catching up to do. 😎😎🙌🙌
@slowdecline48
my problems did bring me here. i needed a place where I can really get my depressing, sad thoughts out where I won't be judged and looked at like i am a crazy person.
I am here. I think that is (at least to me) the important point.
i am here because I need(ed) help.
i am here to give help as well. I am learning.
i am learning to be patient to others while offering help, and understanding.
i am learning my problems pale compared to others’ problems.
i am learning gratitude
I am learning to practice compassion.
peace, ya’all
I agree with that like I agree with everything you said that it's about second opinion because the government is very corrupt and at the end of the day besides like these and better help and stuff they only care about their bottom line and how much money they're making not really so much how much they're actually helping people and so a lot of people who can't afford therapy in real life or don't have that cash to do it end up here or some on some similar site but they still can't like afford the actual therapy part in a lot of cases
@slowdecline48
When I was growing up, I did not believe in fate, because the idea of fate removes the possibility for free will, but then I realized that wasn't the case. Through my life I learned that I believe in fate, but I also know that I have free will to decide how to live my life, despite arriving at the same fate.
In answer to your question, initially, it was fate, my experiences, my emotions that brought me to 7Cups. It was my free will that caused me to join and free will was used to write this response.
Well for me, I've needed to seek help for past relationship trauma and being able to want to date again, but I never did. After a really traumatic experience, I knew I couldn't put it off so I came here and now I've healed a lot even from a few days of being here. Now, I try to talk to others and help them with their problems because it helps me process things that have happened throughout the day and helping heal others heals me.❤️
