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ImpudentIncognito
55 33,485 M Determined Treads 5
Just a stray cat looking for a place to call home. /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
PathStep 77 Compassion hearts6,826 Forum posts827 Forum upvotes1,437 Current upvotes1,437 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceMarch 10, 2019
Bio

I'm just a Cog looking for their wheel...

Hi, how are you? I'm trying my best to hang in there.

𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ☑Listening ear ☑Advice(if wanted) ☑Support

𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠:☑To make meaningful connections ☑To become a better person ☑People to relate to

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬: •Comics •Drawing •Health/Exercise •Programming •Learning Languages •Music •Videogames


::𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨::

(for the curious)

Mixed Race 🌐 | Multilingual 🗣️ | Female♀ | Bisexual 💙💜🩷 | Mother👩‍👦


SMART goals for the year:

:: Vices ::

Specific - Quitting Alcohol & (Smoking) Marijuana

Measurable - Will be using a habit tracker app along with an agenda/planner.

Achievable - I have already quit alcohol and smoking marijuana since the new year, so I know I can do it. When I have an sort of urge, for the moment, I drink water instead or coffee (was going to give up caffeine, but for the moment, will not do that until I deal with these two vices first).
Relevant - I don't want to waste money on these vices, plus smoking and drinking alcohol is not good for my health.

Timebound - For the alcohol, going to see if I can go an entire year without it. For the weed, I will try to detox for 3-months and see how I feel after. I don't plan on smoking it, but may go back to edibles.

:: Health ::

Specific - Planning on eating in 4x out of the week to become more healthy.
Measurable - I like to take pictures of the meals I make for memories to see what recipes I have already done or revamped. I may also just use the agenda/planner as well for this.

Achievable - I have been cooking these past few days, so I know I can do it! Even when I'm suffering from chronic pain, I have decided to get meals that require less prep time (ex. scrambled eggs, chilaquiles, etc) so I can make a quick meal. Sometimes, it could be as simple as eating fruit or making extra and having leftovers to eat.

Relevant - I'm trying to turn my life around and eating healthier instead of eating processed foods. Eating junk food ultimately makes me feel bad...So, want to eat healthier while also saving money to go towards bigger goals.

Timebound - I heard it takes 3-months/90 days to build a habit, so I will do that.



Recent forum posts
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𑁍✧˖°˚ʚThe Impetuous Idle Inscriptions of an Impɞ˚°˖✧𑁍
Reading & Writing / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more ✤ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ✤ In this thread are random writings that I have done, whether it be Prompts, Poems, some Snippets of original content, or Roleplay/Writing Projects I made either for others or myself. If you see any grammatical errors or spellings, please feel free to correct! Also open to constructive criticism. Would like to improve my writing in English. Without much further ado.... 𝓔𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂!
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Reflection + Time
Depression Support / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 October 23rd
...See more Never really celebrated any birthdays passed my teen years but...This year suddenly hit me. Not because of my age, but because of where I am in life and who I'm surrounded by. I've realized that I don't really have any friends and I'm definitely not close to family. I use to have many close friendships and bonds, but due to depression and past events related to my PTSD, it's been difficult trying to get close to people. I keep getting hurt.  Sometimes, I get TOO overwhelmed and I disappear overtime. I'm not doing well right now mentally nor physically. My body is in pain constantly and made my pre-existing depression worse. My physical pain was caused by some life threatening events and made my life quality worse. The only reason I'm still up and going is for my son. I want to so badly give him the life he deserves and to not worry. It just sucks always pretending to be OK though, when I'm really not. Some days, I just really want to give up. I'm hoping that my depression will lesson once I start working and am able to set up an appointment to have regular doctor visits. I want to be able to live a (somewhat) normal, mundane life. Most times, when things start going well, crazy stuff out of my control happens (ex. getting hit by a car as a pedestrian, getting nearly mauled by wildlife, getting nearly permanently removed from this earth by some one I trusted and having to fight back for my life, etc). But yeah...birthday this year...wasn't a jolly one... I usually spend it alone and treat it as a "me day", but that day...just made me realize some things... Especially since I moved back in with my abuser, who's an estranged relative of a few decades since she used to physically and verbally abuse me among some other bad things that I won't explicitly say here. She pretended to be nice that day, but the following after the birthday, I overheard her complain about me loudly to another relative and talking down about me behind my back. Hopefully, will leave this house soon once I start working and go back to being no contact. Might make me feel a bit less depress, at least. Since I moved back to the abuser's house, which is 1,000+ kilometers away from my home, I did end up running into a childhood friend I've known since 4 years old. I have considered reconnecting with her. That friend also had some childhood issues with her parents, so might be able to relate. She wanted me to stay around the area, but I told her I'll be moving out of state... I just can't stay here any longer around nor near my abuser.
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Escape Plan
Trauma Support / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 October 30th
...See more [TRIGGER WARNINGS: Physical & verbal abuse] Only back temporarily to 7cups...I have not been doing well and have been reliving some of the same things that caused the trauma in the first place. Long story short, I have health issues, had to leave my job and home that was 1,000km+ away, and ended up living in my abusers house, who is an estranged relative I haven't really had much contact with or any at all a few decades or so.  But dealing with her is *** and she has already threatened me with physical violence. I have been documenting and recording her whenever she has a meltdown. Furthermore, I have to deal with stopping her from drinking and driving or making idiotic decisions that'll harm other people. She attempts to bully my autistic son, but I always shield him from her. My health issues sometimes makes it hard to move around, as my heart and chest starts to hurt badly. I have chronic pain from an accident many years ago as well as from something awful my ex-fiancé inflicted onto me. I have attempted to apply for health benefits in new area, but the abuser thinks its unnecessary and won't sign off that I live here because she's against government help and made it more difficult for me... The abuser has attempted to thwart my plans of finding a job as well and keeping me here/isolating me, however... Luckily, I found a remote job! So hoping to move out by December at the soonest and February at the latest. I already found what state I want to move too, it's affordable, cheap, and will at least put some distance between me and this abuser. I can't even call her "mother". Never felt like it to me growing up, as she used to hit me often and talk down on me, while comparing me to the rest of my brothers since I was "different". There's more to it, but I'll leave it there. I should be starting the job either next week or sometime in November(with weekly pay!)...I'm just going *** mad being stuck here with her. I don't have a car currently, but planning on getting one once I quietly up and leave this nightmare and hopefully enjoy life a bit more.
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Unsent Letter: Hatred
Trauma Support / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 August 28th
...See more Since I'm not great at expressing myself, I made a poem instead. I hope I formatted this correctly .... Not sure if this post will get censored or not, but need to vent and I will water it down quite a bit ... [TRIGGER WARNINGS: Physical abuse, verbal abuse, and SA;] A letter to my abusive mother: For many years of my life, You only caused me pain and strife. To think I ever wanted your love and validation, Has caused me to cease in rumination. Since when did you ever show me "love" that you so proclaimed? Merely allowing me to breath and exist in your presence was a privilege, you claimed. That proves that you "loved" me, despite all the harm you laid onto me. From touching me inappropriately , to a blow to the face Which made calling me ugly & disgusting appear much more tame. You try to hide the evidence by blatantly lying and pretending it did not leave a trace But deep down you stomped all over me, and the sound of you calling my name Leaves my heart filled with anger and a face contorted into one that I don't recognize. After all these years, you must realize That the fondness that your perceive I have of you Is only something you dreamt of and idealize Because you can't stand to not be loved, despite you telling me so young That you "hate" me because I'm just like my father, who's curly hair and brown skin you strongly dislike so you cannot be bothered By some mere "ugly, frizzy" haired girl" like me You can believe what you want, but I know who I am and who I plan to be And that is not YOU and that is not your slave.  I am someone who has grown to be more callous and brave To call you out on your deception and iniquity  You will never change, and I have made peace with it However, I will no longer sit here and tolerate it I want to say "goodbye forever", once I have my ducks in a row, So I can finally close this chapter of my life and no longer feel morose My greatest revenge to you will be me living a life that will bring jubilation and prosperity, Far away from you and your depravity I will be content with my new little family, Which consists of my son, partner, and self along with those who will be my calvary. Goodbye for good, so long and farewell. You will not be missed, and I will no longer stay in this cell.
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Being Abused (Again)
Trauma Support / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 July 25th
...See more Trigger warning  (domestic abuse, verbal and physical abuse, incest)    Not sure where else to turn...so here I am gathering my thoughts. Due to my medical issues, I have gone back to living with my abusive mother who used to physically, verbally and SA me. She's still verbally abusive to me (and now my son), and has threatened to have my brother hit me -- I told her I would call the cops if that were to happen and she laughed in my face and went "Oh, like you called the cops on your son's dad?"  which I respond "Yes, yes I did. Are you stupid?" (I don't care to respect her anymore, with the way she talks to me and my son). She assumed I let my ex abuse me and it's my fault for him getting close to making me gone from this world. I had to confront her again today, after my nonverbal autistic son came to me saying he's sad and "grandma scary". My mother doesn't believe in autism, and talks down on him like he's stupid since he doesn't talk a lot of words (but he understands 3 languages -- and which includes sign language). It enrages me. I asked her not to talk to him that way and that's when everything blew up.  Albeit, I couldn't speak normally to her after, I did tell her how I truly felt about her and didn't hold it in, she called me "childish" and talked down on me like I'm "too stupid" to understand. Now here's the thing -- she dropped out of school in elementary, she doesn't try to learn new things and is stuck in her ways and can hardly handle simple technology, and she says because she's older she's "automatically smarter" than me and has "more experience" plus she's a teacher at school (not really, she's an assistant but whatever). She DOES NOT have training in autism, not one bit and purposely provokes him and blames ME for my son's behaviour and says "You treat him like he's grown, he doesn't know ANYTHING." No, I treat him with RESPECT and talk to him like NORMAL and EXPLAIN why things are bad, not go "you think you know everything. You can't do it. Because I said so!" -- like she does. I told her that he can STILL UNDERSTAND YOU, even if he is nonverbal and autistic. Furthermore, I threw it back in her face then that must mean my (abusive) grandmother(her mother that she absolutely HATES) must know better than her too, and is "smarter" and "wiser" since she has more experience. I could tell that irked her when I said that because she went "whatever".      We ended the argument when she had to go to work and gave the most gross "I love you have a good day" pretending we didn't JUST argue and went to talk to my brother privately to make it seem like I'm the bad guy. She's probably the ONLY person in the world I TRULY hate. I have made peace about my abusive ex fiancé who nearly made my existence disappear from this world. I'm indifferent now, I don't want to think about him -- hating takes too much energy -- but now I HATE my mother and it's a wasted emotion. I didn't really want to talk to my oldest brother either, but he seemed pretty neutral and didn't say anything at all during the argument and stayed out of it. He came over and offered to take me out of the house when she left to sorta cheer me up, but I'm spending some time alone for today. It's sick that my mother has "parentified" him and treats him like her husband -- it's emotional inc***...which is gross...She groomed him. She's also highly racist and says racial slurs about my father -- and compares me to him. My father does NOT know how wicked of a woman she is. He's not a good person either though. They're both awful people.      Just needed to vent. I'm not very active on 7cups to be honest, been dealing with my own issues. Yes, I have a plan to leave her as soon as I can. I was going to live with my partner once we both start working. I am VERY close to moving to a DV shelter, but really need to finish my real estate classes. I have a guaranteed job as soon as I get my license....I was only planning on staying her until September, but I'm going crazy... I plan on recording my interactions with my mother and "grey rocking" her if she tries and provoke me. I plan on documenting what she says and does  For example, when she said it's OK for kids to be slapped as punishment -- like she has done to me(worried she is going to hurt my son so I have kept my eye on them -- she acts up when I have to use the bathroom or shower, I usually send son over to his uncle/my oldest brother because he treats him kindly), or when she says racial slurs about my dad or is being homophobic or sexist. I'll record it all and report it to the department that ensures child safety. Or I'll call the cops if she continues to insist driving drunk while endangering other people's lives.      There's more I could write, but I'll leave it at that...she has sabotage my chances on things I needed (ex. therapy for autistic son, daycare, insurance since she won't provide me her info for me to apply, she denied taking me to job interviews, and claims I don't "need" a car when I plan on using MY OWN money on it when I work)
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ABA Therapy & Autism - Inquiry
Autism Support / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 July 31st
...See more Did you find ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) Therapy helpful or harmful to you growing up? My son has been diagnosed with autism, and his pediatrician recommended him to go to ABA, however, I have read online that it can be detrimental for autistic children (said by autistic adults -- who went through the experience). However, I have seen other autistic adults who became therapist and said ABA Therapy is fine? Albeit... My source is from a social media place that can be a hivemind sometimes and biased...I prefer being here on 7cups. I've seen controversy surrounding ABA Therapy and wanted to get experience from those who have actually lived through it. Currently, my son has been to Speech Therapy(going to reenroll him when I move here soon) and graduated from Occupational Therapy. Could I get your thoughts? Thanks.
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·︎•︎✧︎·𖦹•·☾︎Imp's Impervious Inn☽︎·•𖦹·✧︎•︎·︎
Pen Pals / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 June 17th
...See more Hello! Welcome aboard to Imp's Impervious Inn! Please, make yourself at home and read more to find out about this Inn and what is has to offer! The sound of rustling leaves startles you and an indistinguishable voice chirps up. "Hi, welcome to Imp's Impervious Inn. I am creation number 87088312, but some call me "Blobber", "Blobbie", "Blobino/Blobinna, or "Blob" for short."  A small gelatinous creature, no more than 3ft/91.44cm said as it emerged from the bushes of the inn, as it fixated it's tiny beady black eyes up at you. As it waddled up to you, it's jelly jiggled with each pace. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, so I will give you a brief about the inn, the owner, and myself!" It continued as it dressed down a bit into something more comfortable, and it's form slightly altered, with the jelly oozing out of the clothes and it's voice changing to a lower pitch. Its height rose by a couple of inches/centimeters.  "This is the place for those would would like to chat with the inn master -- ImpudentIncognito--who has been called many names --whether it's Imp, Cog, Nito, Racal, Pleb, Miscreant, or scum beneath my boots! They are currently at this Inn. If they are unavailable, you can leave a written letter with me, and I will report it back to the master." A monstrous-sized grin crept up on the gelatinous creature's face from one side to the other. The goo from it's body twirled into a tornado until it became human-sized. It stood confidently and motioned for you to follow it inside the inn, while opening the door for you. "Occasionally, we might have a few ruffians, travellers, royalty, commoners, and loyal clients who come into the inn. They have different quests to offer and may or may not be chatty, depending on the day.. Sometimes, you may have bards who would like to play you music, sometimes there are jesters who would like to share jokes with you, other times, mysterious nomads may have riddles for you to solve to earn a cool souvenir!"  The blob prattled on as it wobbled inside the tavern, not used to walking with humanoid legs. "Furthermore, there are days when the tavern is empty, and some days where it's crowded with people, monsters, and everyone in-between. Since you're new here...I can give you a quest to start off with!" ♠ :: QUEST :: ♠ ►Newcomer, New Beginnings◄ Objective: Answer the following questions below to get started 1) What is one thing you wish to change about your life? 2) What would you like to do if you had unlimited money? 3) What have you been up to lately & How have you been feeling? Experience Points: +10 "Goodluck on the quest!" the blob stated before it began to retreat into the back of the tavern morphing into a small blue jelly form. "I'll bring out the big boss for you to talk to while they're here. Oh and..." "I can shape shift into anything, change colours, and divide my body to make more of us!" "Meow" purred the slimy cat creature that oozed it's way over to the bar counter of the Inn. "I have different 'personas', it's all me but also NOT me! I can be one person or many. I may have a lot of quests some days, and others, I may not! But worry not, adventurer, there are other folks, as I mentioned, that happen across the tavern so you don't have to only talk to lil ol' me." It said while making a cute poses with it's gelatinous, pudgy finger up to it's beaming smiling. "But...Feel free to talk to me about anything -- or to the Inn Master, my lady/lord." The blob squished its form into a puddle and scuttled under a closed door behind the inn's bar and that's where the inn master reappeared. Hey everyone, feel free to leave messages in this thread if you'd like to chat with me. There will be quests posted here maybe once a week? Just depends on how much time I have. I do apologize if I don't answer right away, but my helper Blob will take care of your messages for me to read. I just wanted to make this a fun way to reconnect with 7cup friends or possibly make new ones? Anyhow, have a great day!
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What are your favourite writing tips?
Reading & Writing / by ImpudentIncognito
Last post
 October 30th
...See more What are your favourite writing tips? I feel that my writing skills have declined over time, as I haven't been practicing as much lately... I want to be able to write more concise and brief, instead of long, purple/flowery prose(?)...It's difficult sometimes for me to transfer from one topic to the next an can sound incoherent or random next. Even my text messages are too long... I don't know how to express myself very well and end up over explaining things (which is a bit trauma related and also I speak a couple of different languages, so sometimes I have to shift gears on how I talk but hey look at me...overexplaining right now...). I used to think I was decent at writing in English, but it has regressed over time, and I haven't really been observing the world around me anymore... Anyhow...Just wanted to see if you have any tips you can impart onto me?  I have issues with the following and need some help: * Writing long, paragraphs that sometimes don't mesh well * Overexplaining * Overuse of parenthesis * Overuse of adjectives  * Overuse of words such as "however", "anyhow", "also", "but", "despite this", and "apart from that" at the beginning of the sentence. (I guess "conjunctions" might be the word? Maybe not...I think conjunctions are "but", "and", and "or"...Can't remember what it is called...I use it as a cheat if I don't know how to gracefully switch topics, but it sounds annoying sometimes...I guess I have the habit of putting "dependent clauses" before the "independent clauses"?) I really want to improve my English to the next level. Any tip is helpful(formatting included -- trying to make it easier for the reader to read), thank you!
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