Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]

@imaFuckup - Sounds like you've not only had bad experiences with depression, but also with friends. Or maybe I misunderstood. Either way, a fitting dark description.

It's a gorilla on my back. Big and heavy, forcing me to carry it around, but no one can see it.

@middleofthemountains - Would it be easier if people could see the gorilla?

A collective of all earthen ego consistently pummeling my consciousness into an ectoplasmic splatter that drips into the void at near heat death.

@CosmicMike - Very descriptive and original. Sounds awful.

Depression would be that one toxic friend. The one that you try to get out of yout life but they keep on coming around.

The kind that's so mean to you and always bullys you. The one that calls you trash and agrees when you call yourself ugly or fat the one that laughs when you get hurt and then say you deserve it

@Brokenlonelyose - Good description!

My depression is manipulative, it's standing beside me, softly telling me it's trying to help. It gives me a kiss on the forehead, takes my hand, tells me it's okay to sleep, okay to cancel plans, okay to spend the day alone in bed... it makes sense, this is self care, right? But over the course of weeks the messages start to change, so slowly I don't even notice.

"Don't text your friends right now, darling, they won't understand. No one will ever understand. That's okay though, I'm here. I'm always here. I understand." It whispers in my ear. I relax against it. Maybe it's right, my friends have enough to deal with anyway, I don't want to bother them.

A few more weeks go by, then, late at night when I feel numb and alone, it tells me to hurt myself.

That is when I realize I need help.

@SparklyRen - I think this is an excellent description, very well written. I like the way you portrayed how depression's lines can creep in. I'm so glad for your last sentence when you realise you need help.

@OceanRest

Thank you! I could've written it better but for something I wrote quickly in less than 10 minutes it's not bad. Yeah, I've started to make a habit of looking at my life from a different perspective and thinking "hey, that's not a thing people's minds are supposed to go to, something's not right"

@SparklyRen - Sounds like a very useful and meaningful way of getting perspective on things.

@SparklyRen

Very well written! 👍

I had to end a toxic friendship last year because although he was charming and positive at first, as soon as I asserted my strong moral values, he treated me differently. He did not respect me. I made it clear that I wasnt into some crazy-arse Fifty Shades Of 🤬 relationship and rather than accept that double life of his to keep the friendship, I decided that its best to leave it behind. He was not my friend - he was pleasures friend.

One striking note of that bent wreck of a friendship was that he never told me or acknowledged anything positive that I did, though he was quick to criticize. Hed never disagree or stop me, either, if I ever talked bad about myself. That, I believe, says it all.

@SparklyRen Thank for your post. The last sentense is amazing, becouse i realized the same but when isit alone i my apartment and feel very lonely in one side, and happy because im afraid of change, loosing my family. And I stuck in between. I want change and dont want to change at the same time

@bluebutterfly87

Thank you!

Change is hard. It feels like everything just gets worse the second I try to change my life, but sometimes things have to get a little worse before they get a whole lot better. Because my parents now know I'm depressed and have thought of self harm, I've lost a good amount of privacy. It sucks but it'll get better eventually, this is the path I need to take, even if I find it frustrating right now. Maybe that mentality will help you?

This is so beautifully expressed. Stay strong and keep rising. @SparklyRen

@magicalunicorn98

Thank you very much! And you too!

@SparklyRen

if my depression is a person , i would tell him / her to get lost of my sight as he / she makes me ups & downs sometimes . it's like an roller coaster ride , it's an exciting moment in the beginning slowly it's happy then the end is like i'm wondering when i'll see him again though it's a wrong ride to sit in the beginning but i'm learning from experience decide to treat him as a friend not more than that .

sorry for that , hope you forgive me

@SparklyRen Exactly! Very good description. In fact my depression is a lot like Gríma Wormtongue or maybe Gollum.. or maybe both combined, except it seems to be immortal, it will never give up and die.

If my depression were a person...I would talk to it. Talk to it and understand why she/he decided to bother me. I would tell my depression to die and leave me alone just like how my parents tell me that. I would tell my depression to stop messing with my head and when it finally leaves. I can finally be at rest. Finally tell my parents that I got rid of the voices in my head and that Im cured.

Only I know itll never be gone. Its just waiting and lurking at the back of my brain, waiting for the right moment to strike and set me free.

If my depression was a person they would bring me down. They would like to make jokes at my expense, and they would have fun doing so. If my depression was a person I would try my hardest to steer clear of them.

my depression is a very charming person.

they're beautiful; the kind of sweet talker that draws you away from everyone else and isolates you in a world of their making, a world where they can control the weather and tides. when good things happen, they remind me they're with me. they remind me that i've always been in their world, and that the skies will turn grey any minute. they wash away my sense of comfort with myself, they make me feel like a stranger in my own mind. they are decay and apathy and when they aren't kneeling on my stomach they're pushing me towards an edge of a cliff. they show me how to put all my emotions in a little box to keep nice and neat and sealed away, but soon they grab the feelings from me hungrily and stuff them away haphazardly until everything spills out. when that happens they dont show me how to clean it all up, they tell me to run, to abandon my regard for safety, because it doesn't matter if i'm hurt or healthy.

they like to disappear, to let me have fun for awhile. but then they come back. finally, ive learned how to tell them no. how to make them be quieter. and hopefully, they'll stay away for good.

@vexy So very well put!

@Doramu thank you x

Depression is a self centred person.

My depression would be a guilt tripper and paranoid person, just there constantly saying things at the back of my mind like: "I dont know about you, but what are you without me really? What are you even crying about?"

Then it would sometomes take me to rides that feel so free and exciting, then there's the pressure that after this there would be school or a missed homework. It would turn to me and say: "Shouldve done it earlier, youre too lazy. Youre too carefree."

Then when the paranoia sets in, it would binge eat or hurt itself on purpose. Telling itself, the end is near and you couldve just died sooner or people are mean and ganging up on you.

Then suddenly after a breakdown, a long sleep and everything is suddenly calm again. Like the sea after a storm.

My depression is the water that threatens to drown me. Lulling me softly deeper into the warm dark waters. And promising me the safest rest coaxing me to forget the land and fall in deeper. It is the shadow that hugs me from behind before seeping into my chest promising me that there is nothing more. It is the only whisper that comforts me at night even as I fall apart telling me to stay awake so I dont have to wake up in the morning to face the next day. And at other times the whisper that tells me it would be better to just be asleep so to get away from all these things. Forever holding me when I become weak persuading me to let it take over. But despite all its sweet nothings its hard to break away, entangled in its silky webs, slowly Ill suffocate.

I would say that my depression is like a doppelgänger/shadow twin of mine in appearance, always wears a smile on her face but spits nothing but deprecation. She speaks as though my conscience. She follows me everywhere but not always shows her face to me. Daytime, she screams poisons in my ears should I fail her escalatingly high expectations; nighttime, she whispers into my ears how a failure I am and whats the reason to march forward knowing that I wont be able to reach the end anyway. She calls me names behind the shadow. She likes to remind me that trying to cultivate success was futile because I was and have always been destined to fail, at everything; she makes me doubt myself She always hides whenever I attempt to confront her, but her dominance in my conscious mind is always omnipresent.

I would say that my depression is like my doppelgänger/shadow twin, always wearing a smile on her face but spitting nothing but deprecating poisons. She speaks as though my own conscience. She follows me everywhere but seldom reveals herself. Daytime, she screams at me, driving me to the verge of tears whenever she deems me failing of her escalatingly high expectations; nighttime, she whispers into my ears how a failure I am and that I am only a little more than a waste of space. She likes to remind me that theres no reason for me to march forward whatever destination I planned out for my future because I will never be able to see it, let alone reach it, anyway. Youre destined to fail, face the reality! is her favourite phrase to yell into my face. She vanishes like a thin breeze whenever I attempt to confront her, but her dominance in my mind is omnipresent and seems to be constantly growing each subsequent day, asserting the fact that she will certainly return once I drop my guard.

I have no idea if its a miracle or the work of my estranged willpower, but I am nearly twenty years old and there was a time that I believed I wouldnt be able to count my age past thirteen. She seems to have no intention of claiming my life, yet enjoying seeing me slowly descending into insanity, however.

@nekokina wow your depression sounds a lot like mine

@nekokina

I'm sorry to hear this...I wish I could tell you just how brave you have been and yeah you made it to 20. Perhaps there is just so much pressure on us at high school that we forget that it's important to live and love ourselves

Doppelgangers are quite scathing aren't they

What you have said has been really helpful to me and it's very important

It would be a black demon-type animal. It is always nearby to tell me to doubt myself, to hate myself, and it loves giving unlimited reasons for all that. Its main goal, though, would seem to be to convince me that I can never nor will ever truly get rid of it. Because after all, you

if my depression was a person itd look like my mother. itd look like my friends, and my teachers, and my family, and my work. itd look like myself.

my depression is a person, because shes me. i cant escape her, i cant talk about her, i cant fix her.

she smothers me in my sleep and crushes me when im awake. she talks to me and tells me things that i rely on hearing, like how im not good enough and that i dont deserve anything. i think about not having her around, and not being normal, but without her im not me.

If my depression was a person, they would never get out of bed. They would be in the same pajamas for three months and basically bones, always asleep, never wanting to do anything.

If my depression were a person she would sleep all day unable to get up, and cry often knowing she is letting those around her down. She would often feel replaceable and lost.

My depression has two faces, it stares at the world and finds nothing good there and it tells me that it is my fault.

If my depression were a person

They'd be needy and annoying. Always holding my hand or behind myback always smirking, sufficating me in there presence. When I'n with other people, they'd whine and complain, make as much noise as possible so I can't consentrate or socialize. When I'm outside they'd be poking my stomach telling me I'm fat, that just maybe i should start eating less or try to see how long I cou;d go without eating, betting on the hours or days. Critisizing my clothing choice for the day. When I'm allown point out that I have no direction.

The type of person my depression would be is an annoying, self absorbed, hyper, clingy, asshole.

They'd jump on the bed, make excuses for mess, gossip, yeel, try to be the loudest they can and probably pour boiling water from a kettle on someones hand just to see if they'd get a reaction.

@DonneMoi

If my depression was a person it would be my mother and sister yelling at me, he would be a constant reminder of how messed up I am, and of all I have lost. If my depression was a person he would be my anxietys big brother, Smothering me every second of my life. But my depression cant be a person because I can not run from it. But instead it is a brokenness, an emptiness I feel deep within my chest. My depression is time. Something that can not be escaped. My depression is in the arguments I have with loved ones. My depression is in my head replaying words that I should not listen to, but MY DEPRETION SCREAMS THEM IN MY EAR TAKEING THE VOICES OF THE PEOPLE I TRUST THE MOST SO I HAVE TO LISTEN! My depression can not be faked, be I am my depression.

If my depression were a person, I would slit her throat and kill her, just how she killed me. I dont know who I am because she has taken over my life and ruined it. Sometimes I wonder whos the real me because I know this isnt it. I just feel like everything is my fault. Shes just a constant reminder of whats wrong with me. She makes me feel wrong. Everything I do is wrong. I know im ugly, you dont need to remind me. I know im boring, you dont have to remind me. I know im worthless. Did you need to remind me? I feel nothing. The thing is that no one even notices. They dont notice the pain or sadness. All they notice are your mistakes. Depression please die.

@fearlessHickory9058

You have so much self worth, although right now you may not believe it, you may not feel it and each day is very hard to look forward to. I am sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. You have every right to to want to exterminate her the way she hurt you, but you have so much self worth, please don't ever forget that. Sometimes its comforting to know that we're not alone in our struggles and as painful as it maybe, we are all in this together. You've got this.