Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?
So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?
I would ask them to go away and let go of whatever they have against me. To just leave me alone so I can be HAPPY AGAIN!
If my depression were a person I would understand it. It's existence was pretty inevitable bc of my PTSD and that xan be blamed on living people.
But for all the times it made everything worse I would yell at it for sucking the joy out of me I would yell i was once a happy open loving person you know!? And it would say yes I know but then the trauma happened and you were a terrified broken person and it's only natural you stopped living. It would tell me I was lucky to have it with me always to wallow in the sadness with
And I would tell it like my eating disorder I understand it. I really do. I don't blame myself anymore though. So there's really no use for either of you so could you please f off and let me live my life? Stop making me I idealize my death and think it's the only solution to my situation stop telling me no one loves me and they only do bc we went through trauma together and if it didn't they wouldn't need me that they only put up with me bc I'm a burden but I protect them. Please stop making me re think every damaging thing I already have it doesn't help! I shouldn't have to worry about a fire or flood or will I be raped again every night I shouldn't have to imagine the deranged memories that is my father. Can you please just let me breathe alone in my bed for a minute without thinking "yes good skinny not skinny enough not enough" and then when I get a little bit over worrying abt it the entire day thinking "your fat and worthless now" like my life just stops mattering.
Bc none of that's right. I have real loved ones and suffered enough and after all it I looked at myself and realized I wittled myself down I've physically torn apart myself. I never wanted to but it's all I knew. And I am sorry to myself. Not to you trauma or depression or obsession or anorexia. But to me bc I was just a girl. I'm still a girl. A kind smart beautiful girl and I didn't deserve any of that.
So just stop hurting me bc enough already has. I really don't need you anymore. The sad thing is I never did. How dare you take even more from me and my life.
If my depression were a person, it would be me. The person who's making me suffer is just me. I'm the one who's not talking to anybody, I'm the one who's barricading herself in her little room of solitude, I'm the one who's not helping anybody and who keeps complaining about her sadness, I'm both the culprit and the victim.
If hypothetically my depression were a person, I would treat it the way it makes me feel, kind of. It makes more sense in my head. But if it were a person, which sometimes it can be, I would honestly just treat him/her as badly as i possibly could just so they could understand even the slightest hair of a bit of how I feel on a second basis.
If my Depression was a person...
It would be a little girl. A child version of me constantly crying and begging me to stop cause whenever I move or think or breathe it's hurting her. Every day I'm alive is a stab of pain for her cause disassociation is a b*tch and every memory I have of being her is black, or random images or terrifying noises. Banging and quick, sharp breaths. "It's just a game" and "GO TO BED YOU LITTLE B*TCH!". I'm forgetting her, so she's becoming something I hardly recognise, and she wants me to stop.
I tried to write to this prompt the other day, but what I described wasnt my depression, it was my lost and scared inner child who feels abandoned still. I found him in a dark place within myself, and have since been treating that part of myself with compassion instead of self-loathing. What I thought was a terrible and contemptable part of me is only a scared little boy who could use a little understanding. Thank you for the prompt. It's been helpful.
If my depression where a person. It would be a very strong scary person. Because it scares me, everytime I take a step to positivity it pulls me back and holds me from moving forward. I feel like I am being tied up with chains.
If my Depression was a person I
Mine would be a figure, barely human, more like a ghost or demon, all black. its bend forward and walks slowly but steadily next to me, spreading this negative smoke of energy. when im surrounded by its smoke, its hard to see everything because the smoke is so dark and thick and it burns in my eyes.
My depression would be named Sam. She would have a few "hobbies," but she'd never be able to find the time or energy to do them, and if she does get the chance to do them, she never enjoys them fully. She sleeps too much, has poor hygene, and never really has the energy or motivation to do what needs to be done, and yet she never really fails at anything, etiher. If she ever did, it would break her completely. So instead, she doesn't try very hard, keeps expectations low, and does the bare minimum of what she needs to do to survive. She is faking it until she makes it, but she knows - her one Truth - she will never be good enough.