Personify Your Depression: If my depression were a person... [fill in the blank]
Personify Your Depression: I learned about this coping technique today. Imagine that your depression is a person separate from you. The idea is that personifying our depression helps remind us that depression doesn't define who we are ourselves, and that invasive self-critical thoughts we experience often come from our depression and not our healthy minds. Some things to think about are: what kind of person would it be, what kind of hobbies would it have, what would it look like, what would its name be?
So, if your depression were a person, what kind of person would it be?
I never really thought about that. I learned to see my depression as an actual illness recently instead of a personal failure, but I never really had to think about it as a person yet.
I think my depression is a grandma, one that looks really kind and inviting and gives incredible warm hugs. That kind of person you'd look at and think "wow, yes, I feel so calm when I'm with her".
For me depression was a companion all through childhood and teenage years. I got my first symptoms back when I was 13 or 14, with 15 I got a place with a long-term therapist (more a crisis management since it was mainly focused on appointments only when things got rough). But I kind of grown up with depression. My friends used to turn sadness, eating disorders and depression into something beautiful. Something you should have if you want to belong. So I fed my depression and leaned into it. Building up only unhealthy coping mechanisms and make myself as miserable as possible. Fast forward a few years, most of those friends aren't my friends anymore and I finally have people around me that actually care, but depression and sadness was way too much of my comfort place already to step heavily on the break.
That's why I think depression for me is someone that looks really inviting and manipulates me into self hate and all of that really subtle.
That's also why it's so hard now to break free. I now know that this granny might look very comforting and loving, but if I stay with her for too long she'll start to make me feel worse. But sometimes, even with that knowledge you yearn for a person that makes you feel so safe, so I tend to turn around sometimes and embrace her again.
I'm really glad that I can see her true intentions now more and more and can resist the pull to that old gentle comfort more than back in the days. I'm pretty sure I'll be pulled back in by her charm a few more times in the future (like right now for instance - I'm really trying to pull myself free but I long for that comfort even more currently) but every single time I'll learn more and more of her tricks and how to combat them.
Maybe I'll one day am able to embrace that granny when she has lost all her power over me. That there might still be days where I only realize too late that she embraces me again, but I'll be able to hug her tight for a minute and let go and continue on with life.
This is a really beautiful coping technique and I've just learned something new about me while typing all of that. So thanks for sharing!
@wontwakewontsleep
- what kind of person would it be? Irritable, anxious, sad, doubtful, untrustworthy, fatigue, lots of mood swings
- what kind of hobbies would it have? Lazy, sleeping, always staying in bed
- what would it look like? Blue, frowning face, tear’s watered up in eyes
- what would its name be? Negative Nancy
Thanks so much for sharing
@wontwakewontsleep
If my depression were to be person, it would be a void.. a nothingness. The type when you look at it, it consumes every part of you. It would be a mass of dark dimension which sucks in every light coming its way. The type which would chain you down and torture you and you relish it.
