2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Question:what to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone ?

first of all you when you feeling this way about yourself that means that you still don't know yet your qualities and your worth , and it's important to know that you might never expect people to treat you any better than yourself

i lived this experience before and i felt that im unworthy and i started to put all the blame on me , even i tried to chase my partner expecting him to give me the love i deserve but after that i decided to love myself and doing my hobbies , letting go my partner , i completly changed my life by living in better style , i finally succeed to have the body that i always dreamt of , and im even more close to my family and friends

and after this long period this is me feeling stronger than before

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Very often, we often do not feel good enough for someone, even for ourselves. And there are multiple reasons for that. It could be caused by our parents and family, which can cause damage to our self-esteem, and cause us to have self-doubt and talk negatively about ourselves. Another reason would be social media, which promotes unrealistic self-images and beauty standards that cause teens (and adults) to try and look like these people. Some things to remember are that you're an amazing person regardless of how you look or your lifestyle! At the end of the day, every person is different and unique in their own way. Managing to believe in yourself can be really hard and can take much time, but I'm certain you can do it!

@SoulfullyAButterfly

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Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

I appreciate you for reaching out and asking such a valuable question! The root cause of such feelings lies in low self-esteem and low self-worth. Though the two seem similar, they are quite different. When you mention not being good enough for "someone," I imagine you mean, your parents, partner, other family members and perhaps, the feedback you receive from being part of social media (the culprit for the majority of self-image issues). It definitely isn't easy to have a healthy relationship with yourself considering how the outside world continually filters what can be readily accepted and what needs to be questioned. Sadly, a lot of times, our inner critic wins the battle and makes the case of us participating in negative self-talk and gives basis to our entire self-doubt premise. No matter how much we try to do the right thing, at the end of the day, it just doesn't feel enough.

The good news is that you are not alone in feeling this way. You'd be surprised how alone our minds can make us feel when things are hard. Not so surprisingly, some of what contributes to low self-confidence can be traced back to one's childhood. The way children are encouraged and brought up can significantly shape their view of themselves. At a very young age, the kind of things you are exposed to matters. Even our parents are not completely at fault here - we are all trying our best. If a child is belittled or constantly punished for expressing emotions - it can leave a negative impact and leave them with confused faces when asked what self-love means.

The first step to a lot of things, I believe, is acceptance. The 7 Cups community as well as many other resources are available to you at your fingertip which may aid you with accepting yourself as you are. The real reason for having low self-worth can be found in childhood or by observing how you generally feel about your interpersonal relationships. Therapy helps a lot - the benefits of communication are endless! Your whole life till this point has consisted of you feeling not good enough - what is good enough? Is the metric that you have set for this evaluation your own self or in comparison to others? Is it benefitting you? Human beings are fragile creatures, we don't understand a lot of the things we do. You may not find all the answers to your questions but the fact that you want to feel valued not for yourself but for "someone" (those close to you), tells me that you are already an amazing person. I wish you good luck in uncovering the endless qualities you embody and I am sure others see more of that in you. You have got this and trust me, you can always strive to be a better person. The good thing is, almost all the time, that means being exactly who you are!

The point is, people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?

@SoulfullyAButterfly

The good news is that this is a very common experience for people. The bad news is that it’s uncommon to know how to deal with these feelings. Here are some self-help techniques on how to improve your self-esteem:

The first way of improving your self esteem is talking about yourself in a positive manner. Avoid using exaggerated language and don't put yourself down when speaking about yourself or comparing yourself to others. If you have no one else around looking in the mirror when speaking to yourself, it's time to get self-compassionate. Treating yourself with self-care can also help boost self-esteem.

The second way of improving self esteem is by seeing the big picture. Self-esteem is often affected by how well you are doing in life compared to others - this is called social comparison. This has been explained as a self-defeating strategy because self-esteem is a self-evaluative process that varies from person to person. If you compare yourself with others you will always come up short, which can make you feel worse. This doesn't mean no comparisons should be made at all though since sometimes it's useful to know how well you are doing in comparison to others - just don't make self-esteem decisions based on self-evaluations.

The third way of improving self-esteem is understanding that perfectionism can be a killer. Perfectionism is not always bad but it often leads to negative consequences if it is really high. Perfectionism is often associated with high levels of anxiety and depression as well. So instead of perfect try 'good enough'.

The fourth way of improving self-esteem is learning to say no. Saying yes when you mean no can create a lot of inner conflict and guilt. Learning how to say no is a great way of increasing self-esteem because it helps you feel more in control and confident about yourself.

Remember that you are not alone when it comes to not feeling good enough. The way you talk about yourself to yourself, your willingness to see the bigger picture, choosing to be ‘good enough’ vs. perfect, and learning to say no are starting points to improving how you feel about yourself.

Here's what I came up with:

I'm sorry to hear that you feel as though you aren't good enough for someone. I'm not sure who these other human beings are, but at the heart of this issue lies your self-worth. Therefore, the first step you need to take is to work on your own self-love. Whether you work on this in therapy or via another healthy relationship is totally up to you. However, some of the things you may want to address include self-esteem,self-doubt, negative self-talk, and self-confidence.

If it's your parents, family members, or your partner making you feel this way, you should also speak up for yourself and tell them how they're making you feel. On the other hand, if you're dealing with this on social media, you may want to consider taking a break from the platform for a while.

Regardless of who it is, you should always voice how you're feeling because you really are an amazing person who can do great things. At the end of the day, you need to take steps to remind yourself of this. Good luck!

Posting from the right account this time lol

I'm sorry to hear that you feel as though you aren't good enough for someone. I'm not sure who these other human beings are, but at the heart of this issue lies your self-worth. Therefore, the first step you need to take is to work on your own self-love. Whether you work on this in therapy or via another healthy relationship is totally up to you. However, some of the things you may want to address include self-esteem,self-doubt, negative self-talk, and self-confidence.

If it's your parents, family members, or your partner making you feel this way, you should also speak up for yourself and tell them how they're making you feel. On the other hand, if you're dealing with this on social media, you may want to consider taking a break from the platform for a while.

Regardless of who it is, you should always voice how you're feeling because you really are an amazing person who can do great things. At the end of the day, you need to take steps to remind yourself of this. Good luck!

Many family members wonder what it’s like to live with the symptoms of bipolar disorder. That’s because this mental health condition includes rapid cycling between hypomanic episodes and depressive symptoms. It’s important to help them understand what these cycles mean so they’re able to understand what our daily lives are like.

Understanding the Different Phases of Bipolar Disorder

Your family is unable to be supportive of you if they don’t know what you’re going through. Therefore you need to explain to them what it’s like to live with the two main phases of bipolar disorder.

Acknowledging Manic Phases

On side of the coin are the manic phases you deal with. One thing that you’ll want to discuss with your family is what episodes of mania look like. While manic symptoms will look a bit different for everyone, the one thing everyone has in common is that these phases consist of high energy and excitement. Unfortunately, these phases may affect your sleep patterns. This is important for your family to understand so they’re not left wondering why you’re not sleeping or you’re sleeping much less than usual.

Acknowledging Bipolar Depression

On the other side of the coin are the major depressive episodes. It’s important for your family to be empathetic during these episodes so that they don’t last for a long time. Unfortunately, when people don’t get support during these times they tend to have more suicidal thoughts

and a higher likelihood of substance abuse.

Why Understanding Bipolar Disorder Matters

Hopefully sharing some of this information with your family and support groups will give them an idea of what you go through each day. In turn, this will allow them to visit health care providers with you in a supportive manner. At the end of the day, this is a solid win.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Response answer:

Thank you for reaching out!

When we don’t feel good enough for people whether they be our partner, parents, family members or children this can stem from the verbal and non-verbal communication conveyed to us. Feeling like others don’t value us as much as we expect them to (as indicated in word choice and tone etc), our mind can get incredibly stubborn which creates negative self-talk. Negative self-talks are negative affirmations which believe we will “never” achieve or are “not good” at anything. For example our inner critic or our negative self-talk can tell us that any form of critique from a family member is not good for our self-confidence even if it serves the best intentions. At the end of the day you may ask yourself what contributes to my self-esteem? Is social media really the best way for me to feel good enough for someone? There are several ways to foster self-love and this can be through simple things you enjoy in life such as your hobbies and spending good times in healthy relationships with people you love and who appreciate you and can see the real and amazing person that you are!

Our site does encourage our listeners to use a person-centered therapy approach in their communication with anyone who reaches out. Any listener would be happy to given you a space to explore your thoughts and feelings further.