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My daily ramblings

Iamwhoiamwhoami December 1st, 2022

I am finally going to follow the lead and try and avoid posting in multiple different places. I am going to try and do most of my rambling in this thread.

My cognitive issues are making it harder and harder for me to focus on multiple things. That combined with my laundry list of other issues, makes functioning at all near impossible.

Having to go through medication experimentation again is going to make it even harder.

Whenever I have to refocus because I literally can’t remember blocks of time or where I am and why I’m here kinds of things , I’m usually able to come here and figure out through my posts and profile etc.

That has proven to not work very well at times. I wondered if I centralized my thoughts here that maybe that might work better.

That also keeps me from being a distraction from those who are more deserving than I.

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Helgafy May 19th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you so much for your writing. I'll comment another time.
Today I'll write a bit about songs and more.
In Norway we have protestant people-church. Until 3 years ago it was called state-church, but then the church and state divided. But still the state pays the priests and looks after the churches. We also have privat churches and other believers of course (muslims etc.).
So each Sunday the statechannel at TV sends a Christian service and I have been watching a bit. So - here comes what I wanted to say today: Many of the songs we sing I know also from the English language;
- Blessed assurance Jesus is mine.
- What a friend we have in Jesus.
- Nearer my God to Thee.
- The old rugged Cross.
1 reply
mytwistedsoul May 19th, 2023

@Helgafy My grandmother used to sing some of those songs. There used to be a small radio in the kitchen and she would listen to gospel music. She would sing along with the songs. It was always nice to hear her ❤️ thank you for helping me remember that today 😊


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Helgafy May 19th, 2023

@Mytwistedsoul

Twist.

Your words: "It must have been frustrating to have to give things up with your illness."

"Give things up" - grieving.

Your words: "There's a saying - from your lips to God's ear - yeah?"
Isaiah 65:24 "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."
4 replies
mytwistedsoul May 19th, 2023

@Helgafy There is a lot of grieving for alot of things isn't there? In life. Good things are there too but there's a lot of grieving

*Sending strength to you* ❤️
4 replies
Helgafy June 1st, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Hi twist.
We talked a bit about grieving. Maybe there can be an acceptance after grieving. "The soul book" here at 7Cups also talks a bit about that.
Maybe you want to listen to "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen.

3 replies
mytwistedsoul June 3rd, 2023

@Helgafy I've always liked that song but it makes me cry. I've actually read 7cups book. It was - eh lol

I hope there's healing after all the grieving. I'm afraid it's going to take time

I thought of you and @Iamwhoiamwhoami today. The blue birds are here and they've built nests in the bird boxes. The sparrow is still here - she sings in the mornings

I hope you're both doing ok ❤️

2 replies
Helgafy June 4th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Hi friend twist.
Today I was listening to "Living life like a Lotus" at the intro of 7Cups. I was thinking of you then. Your childhood/youth can be like the mud, you will always carry that. But you yourself have become the beautiful Lotus.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul June 6th, 2023

@Helgafy Thank you ❤️ That's a very sweet thing to say. Tbh I often feel more like the mud than anything a nice as a lotus flower

A picture of my friend Ms Sparrow

img-20230605-094723419_1686093532.jpg

The bluebird is too busy to sit still so I can take her picture. She's been feeding her babies :)

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mytwistedsoul May 27th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami @Helgafy Thinking of you both and sending good vibes ❤️

1 reply
Helgafy May 28th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend.
Loooooooooooong time since I wrote. Well - my energy is low. So I: Psalms 27:14 NIV. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
and
Till the Spirit is poured on us from on high,
and the desert becomes a fertile field,
and the fertile field seems like a forest.

(well - my "desert" - ha.ha. - should become a fertile field).

1 reply
mytwistedsoul May 30th, 2023

@Helgafy I'm sorry your energy is so low right now. I hope you take care of yourself. ❤️ Sending you strength, energy and good vibes! ❤️

1 reply
Helgafy June 13th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend.

I heard a speech from Joyce Meyer yesterday. She was mention this Bibleverse that I like so much. Here it comes to you. I give you 2 versions because they are so fine. Why don't you memorize them?

Zephaniah 3:17.

New living trans:

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

English Standard Version
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

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Helgafy June 8th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend twist.
I have been eating you today ha.ha. I hope you don't mind. Do you remember I told of the twist-bag? Well - a friend gave me one and today I ate 4 pieces filled with caramel.
Thank you for the photo of the bird. 2 evenings I heard that bird singing very loudly.
You must be the most peaceful man on this earth, being friend with the animals. You remind me of Frans of Assisi. I have been outside Rome in Italy and visited the church in Assisi in the remembrance of him. You can of course google it.
I went to Bibleschool for 4 months when I was about 24 years old. There I held a lecture of Frans of Assisi.
I bless you and @Iamwhoiamwhoami in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

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OnlyDarkness May 29th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami Hello, It’s like you wrote this for me. I have the same problems with my cognitive memory. I also have a long list of other issues. Reading your post was like reading something I had written myself. You’re welcome to chat me up if you’d like.🤨

DaninUK June 6th, 2023

I don't think it's a question of anyone being more deserving. Some people like to talk about life, some prefer to listen


1 reply
Helgafy June 8th, 2023

@DaninUK

Hi DaninUK.

Welcome to 7Cups! I hope you'll have many fine moments here. All the best from Helga from Norway. Maybe you're from the UK.

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mytwistedsoul June 13th, 2023

@Helgafy Hey :) Your friend brought you a nice treat! The little bird lives in a house at the porch. She sings all the time. Do you have a lot of birds visit near your house? There's so many different ones here so there's always something singing lol

You were in my thoughts last night as I looked at pictures of Lofoten Norway :)

Thank you for the verses - I'll have to try and memorize them ❤️

How are you? Is it warm there now?

@Iamwhoiamwhoami How are you?

4 replies
Helgafy June 15th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend twist.

Thank you for writing. It is mostly sparrows that come to my garden and thrush also.

I like to be in your thoughts - thank you for that. Many paint pictures of Lofoten. I very much like the high mountains up North.

The bird mountain Runde is the biggest bird mountain south of the Polar Circle.

Yes - it is warm here on the West Coast now, about 24 degrees Celsius.
In the east part of Norway the farmers have trouble with too little rain.

I have often been thinking that it would be nice for you to be a member of a nearby f.b.-group for persons who are interested in farming and dogs. So you could write there and maybe also meet some day.

Do you eat well these days? Here is a verse for you: Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

An so - Donald Trump is in the storm again.

Helgafy June 15th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

I forgot to tell you that I thought of Frans from Assisi (whom I talked about earlier) when I think of you because he loved and talked to animals.
Today a sparrow flew through my open door to the livingroom. I went behind him so he flew out again.

4 replies
mytwistedsoul June 16th, 2023

@Helgafy There's puffins on that island! It looks like a beautiful place. You're often in my thoughts. Iam is too ❤️

I'm glad it's warm there now. I enjoy warm weather more than the cold. It's been pretty dry here too. We finally did some rain this week but it's still dry. There's been a few red flag warnings because conditions are perfect for forest fires. I hope the farmers in Norway get some rain soon. Crops can't grow without water
The garden here is doing well. The cherry tree had a lot of fruit and I tried my hand at making some jam. And strawberries! I was able to make a strawberry pie and had enough left over to freeze. Sugar peas are doing great too. They're nice to snack on while you pick them. I planted some lima beans this year and peas. And a different kind of tomato for sauces. Before long the raspberries will be ready to pick too. I might try making some jam or jelly with those too lol
I do eat pretty well these days just out of the garden alone. Nature provides :)
Aww it's so cool that you had a little visitor. I've heard of St. Francis. He's a favorite here. As well as St. Jude
Sending you light and love ❤️
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Helgafy June 18th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend. Thank you for writing. I'm glad your garden is doing well. You have cherries! When I was living in Oslo there were cherry trees where I was living. I had a party where I invited my cousins living in Oslo. My parents were also visiting. I made a pie with a lot of cherries. But I didn't remove the stone inside so everybody had to spit a lot and had a heap of cherrystones on their plate when they finished eating.

Nice you made some jam and a strawberry pie. And you have peas and beans. Earlier I made dinners from peas and beans. And you have different kinds of tomato for sauces. I made a sauce from cherry-tomatoes and ate it for dinner yesterday together with vegetables. I like raspberries. I often eat raspberry yoghurt.
I am very glad you do eat "pretty well these days" - remember you're worth it.
I did not know of St. Jude - well I don't belong to the Catholic church so I guess that's why. And I always think that through Jesus Christ we can go directly to God with our prayers and don't need saints to pray for us.

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mytwistedsoul June 21st, 2023

@Helgafy Hey ❤️ I imagine that must have come as a surprise to everyone eating pie but it would still be delicious

The raspberries grow along the edge of a field. Although it's more of a clearing than a field. The deer started to bring their young there to play and show them off. They run and chase each other. It's sweet to see. Raspberry yogurt is good! Have you ever tried raspberry ice cream?
I'm not Catholic either lol. Lost causes are just relatable. My grandfather used to say that he didn't need to be in a building stuffed in a suit and tie to praise and worship God. That God would rather he take in the beauty of his creation simply and comfortably - as he argued his point to my grandmother why he wasn't going to church 😁
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Helgafy June 23rd, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Good morning to you wonderful young man.

The other night I dreamt of a bird, turquoise at its back and yellow on the chest.

These days I drink my morning coffee from a mug with a cat printed on in black and white. It has stripes on the body and tail, so it looks like it is in prison. lol.

Raspberries: Yes I sometimes eat vanilla ice cream covered with jello from raspberries and chocolate on the top.

Because Haugesund is a town by the sea, cruise ships come to visit. Some of the tourists wanted to see a Norwegian home. My parents opened theirs for tourists both from Germany and the USA. A small meal should be served. My mother made a cake; at the bottom mareng, then whipped cream and on the top fresh strawberries. They simply loved it.

Can I also tell - at our summer house outside Haugesund - by a fjord - we picked a lot of wild strawberries.

You're talking of the deer showing their young ones off. Your Father in heaven is proud of you too. You're good at communicating, to describe what you see.

Well - The Bible talks a bit like your grandfather; Romans 1.19-20: "what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made"

Helgafy June 26th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Soul.

I want to tell you. At the post above I told of the bird I dreamt about. I went to watch TV, a show called "Love in Paradise" - the Caribbean. At the openingscene there was a bird; turquoise at the back and yellow at the front. Amazing.

mytwistedsoul June 26th, 2023

@Helgafy That must have been an amazing experience having tourists into your parents home. Maybe a little weird too since they were strangers? The summer house sounds like it was a nice place to visit especially with the fjords. You live in a very beautiful country

I like your coffee cup 😊 I use a simple plain white one
It's beautiful here too in its own way. To hear the peeper frogs at night and the wind through the pine trees. And of course all the animals 🙂
The bird in your dream and later on that show sounds really nice. I googled it *cause it's what I do lol* and it could be a couple different ones and all of them are wonderful
Tbh I wish God would make things a little more plain and dumb it down some because there are things I just can't seem to grasp and understand and I question everything
Helgafy June 26th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Hi.

You wrote: Tbh I wish God would make things a little more plain and dumb it down some because there are things I just can't seem to grasp and understand and I question everything.

Are there things we can talk about?

Helgafy June 30th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

So friend "soul" - can I boast a little bit today: Jens Stoltenberg, Norwegian, is the Secretary General of NATO since October 2014. Then he was for 2 periods which is unusual. Then - because of the war in Ukraine - he was asked to sit one more year. Now he's been asked to sit one more year because they can't find an appropriate person at this time.

He was the Prime Minister of Norway the 22. July 2011 when a terrorist attack killed 77 young persons at Utøya (Norway).
His father was working much for peace in Balkan.

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WorkingitThrough2 June 15th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Hi, I hope you are doing well as you can. I know things are tuff. Just keep trying to hang in there❤️🙏🏽

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP June 17th, 2023

@WorkingitThrough2

Thank you. I’m really struggling with getting thoughts to paper right now . So I will just leave it as a very appreciative thank you to all of you who care enough to think about me.

3 replies
WorkingitThrough2 June 17th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

We really care about you my friend. Always not to far away if you want or need to reach out for a listening ear or just to vent❤️

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP June 17th, 2023

@WorkingitThrough2

I appreciate your kindness and I would reach out but I’m just too stubborn and won’t because I don’t want to add my negativity on to anyone else’s plate. That is something so deeply ingrained in me that it actually pains me to not be able to do so.

I know I shouldn’t be this way and people like you are genuine and true in your desire to listen. I have listened to thousands of people throughout my life tell me their stories of struggle and hardship. I never prodded or suggested that I wanted to hear them , I just happened to be at the right time and place for them. I have been in the public eye in customer service most of my life and this has helped shut down my openness and willingness to dump my problems on others who are dealing with their own issues and struggles.

Even though their opening up to me may have helped them, I felt like I was always getting everyone else’s burdens dumped onto me. The light slowly getting dimmer and dimmer until I was completely invisible in the darkness of my own misery.

I really do appreciate the kindness you show me, Thank you for being you.

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WorkingitThrough2 June 17th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

No words are necessary. Just drop me an emoji that lets me know you are ok😊

WorkingitThrough2 July 3rd, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Hello, I hope you are doing ok 👍send me emoji

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP July 3rd, 2023

@WorkingitThrough2


same old thing here, how about you?

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WorkingitThrough2 July 3rd, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami


😄good to hear from you. Just getting back from out of state visit. I am ok too. Not a lot of changes going on here😊business as usual😂. Keep pushing forward as much as you can. Your friend❤️

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Helgafy July 6th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Hi.

I think you have found your way of living at the peaceful place at your farm together with your animals. Maybe this is good for you to read: Psalm 23

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

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mytwistedsoul July 6th, 2023

@Helgafy Hello friend Helgafy ❤️ How are you? Oh my questions are the usual I suppose. Why we suffer (which is supposed to make me a better person). Why people can hurt others and often go unpunished (agency?) Anyway they're questions I've asked before. I just get frustrated some times probably because those aren't the answers I want. Maybe?

Jens Stoltenberg must be doing a fairly decent job if they've asked him to sit in for another year. That is something to boast about 🙂
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Helgafy July 7th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend. "why people can hurt....". Maybe you can start developing a picture inside of you. If people hurt you - see yourself as a dog, got a lot of water on his fur and then shaking it off.
I hate to suffer. But this is a fine Bibleverse for me: "But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside."

2 replies
mytwistedsoul July 8th, 2023

@Helgafy I wasn't sure how to reply to this tbh. I'm sorry you suffer too 😞 I hope that it isn't too bad for you right now - I hope that you have many good days coming

These are the fawns I was telling you about. The picture isn't the best - they wouldn't stand still lol!

img-20230704-200545579_1688830099.jpg

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Helgafy July 9th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Soul.

* Thank you so much for the photo! The small one tries to stretch his leg - soon it is better - with a little bit of training.
* I wrote wrong to you earlier. Around here we have red deer. I called them deer when I wrote to you. They have antlers. On the TV they showed a red deer throwing away his antlers. A man was filming them for 2 days and nights. Then one animal came and just threw the antlers off his head.
* Yesterday I saw a Christian movie with Jeremy Camp (singer) - "I still believe". He lost his young wife in cancer.
* I ate some eggs. The yolk was yellow as lemon, I don't know why. The hens went friely around.
* I have this plant in my house, Showy medinilla. It comes with big pink flowers.
* I watch a programme from England; "Wild tales from the farm - 2020" - all seen from the animals perspective. The hen sleeps with one eye open to look for strangers, thus the brain is divided. Pigs dream.
* Some black young sheep saw that the grass was greener outside the fence and found a place under the fence to go there. But after a while they heard the farmer's car and ran back, knowing they were not allowed to go there.



Helgafy July 10th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Friend soul.

Since we're talking about the deer. This is a verse I have on my wall in my bedroom (among many others). I need God to be my strength.
Habakkuk 3:19 New International Version
" The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights."

1 reply
mytwistedsoul July 10th, 2023

@Helgafy Your red deer are larger than the white tail deer we have here. They're beautiful animals. Majestic and regal

Cancer is a brutal and painful disease. It's hard to watch someone have to go through it. But not as hard as they have being the ones that have it. My father was diagnosed in April. Stage 4
The chicken's feed might be different. With costs being what they are farmers might be buying more cost effective feeds
I had to Google your plant. It's beautiful!
I'll have to see if I can find that to watch. Apparently it's a mini series? It sounds interesting 🙂
It's funny about the sheep and shows just how smart animals are. They're a lot smarter than what people think. The deer here know the sound of my truck and will run to the top to greet me in hopes of corn snacks lol
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mytwistedsoul July 8th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami Hey you :) You've been in my thoughts for quite a while now. There was a place mentioned in something I was looking at and I mean it's probably kind of stupid but it will drive me nuts if I don't at least give you a link to check it out. It's in my state and idk where you live but maybe they have an affiliate or something close to you? I guess I hope too that you don't mind me sending it too

https://lancasterbrainandspine.com/

*Sending you good vibes* ❤️

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP July 8th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for the information and for being in your thoughts. I am nowhere near them but maybe if I get the ambition built up I could email them and try and get some information or something.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul July 8th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami You're welcome :) I'm sorry they're so far from you. That sucks. Figured it couldn't hurt to pass along on the off chance they were closer ❤️ Take care ok?

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP July 8th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul

Any ideas are always welcome and appreciated.

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WorkingitThrough2 July 10th, 2023

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Got you on my mind❤️🙏🏽You are worthy, You are Loveable, You are a Friend, Stay Strong.

No reply Needed

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Helgafy July 13th, 2023

@seashell145

Hi friend.

We met at GlenM's site "The problem is the path" and I wanted to write some more to you, so I try to connect with you at "Iam"'s site here since Glen's site is gone.

For the 18 last years of my life I have been very much hurted and suffered by life. And I never met a person who describes their suffering like you do and it could be me (as I already told you earlier). So we are soul-twins in suffering! LOL. Well. In the last sentence at your site you write: "Please be kind to me". So I was thinking of this song from 1986 by Feargal Sharkey "A good heart" for you. Some of its lyrics sound like: "A good heart these days is hard to find, so please be gentle with this heart of mine."
From Helga.


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seashell145 July 14th, 2023

@Helgafy

Helga, you're so nice. I'm really sorry you have been hurting for the past 18 years, I feel guilty hearing that. I have mostly been hurting for the past 6 years. But I understand or can imagine how it's like to be in pain. And I'm really sorry you're suffering so much.

You are so kind, you sent that beautiful song to me. I'm going to hear it. You're so nice Helga. Sending you lots of love and warmth. I will try to make a blog post where we can talk, but right now I'm a bit tired. I've also seen the post you made in Glen's blog and written the same response there. So much love for you Helga <3 <3

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Helgafy July 14th, 2023

@seashell145

Hi friend.

Thank you so much for responding. This site belongs to "Iam". "Mytwistedsoul" and I wrote a bit comments to "Iam" and started to write here. "Iam" has said he doesn't mind. So I guess he will not mind if you and I write a bit in between also. Hah. You got tired, I got tired too and ate strawberry ice cream and drank coffee. I hope calories are good for me.

All the best from Helga.

5 replies
seashell145 July 14th, 2023

@Helgafy

Helga, I'm glad you ate ice cream and took coffee. Hope you get some rest. Of course I can write to you here if you're interested. Sending you lots of love <3

4 replies
Helgafy July 17th, 2023

@seashell145

Hello friend.
Not often I write to you - ha.ha.
Well - I thought I would invite the owner of this site, @Iamwhoiamwhoami, @mytwistedsoul, with whom I have written a bit here as you can see and yourself to a summer party at "souls" farm. If you scroll a few pages back you can see how green the grass is where we place the table.
Iam is in his 50th, a man, and live in the North of the US, soul is 27, a man, and lives close to New York and I'm 70, a woman, and I live in Norway. If you want to you can tell if you're a man or a woman, your age and where you live.
Well - soul brings his carrot cake for eating. I can make coffee and then we can have a nice time. The deer will be watching us - you can scroll a bit an look at them.

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seashell145 July 17th, 2023

@Helgafy

Thanks for the invitation to the summer party in soul's farm! The arrangement sounds lovely and the food items sound really delicious! Did you guys talk and organize this arrangement or you just imagined it based on previous conversations with them, like maybe they mentioned they enjoy carrot cake and summer parties? Either way, it's wonderful to be a part of it.

It's nice to know about you all. Soul commented on my posts before and I thought he was a female, glad to know he's a man. I think he is a kind person. Haven't interacted with IamwhoIam before, as far as I can remember.

I'm 31, a female from Bangladesh. Seeing your age Helga, I guess when I'm your age I will have many years of pain stored in my collection, that being said I make it to 70 haha. I saw a movie made in Norway the other day, it's called "The Worst Person in the World". There were some beautiful scenery in Oslo, I felt really attracted to the place. It looked rather peaceful.

Do you ever feel like no one cares about you?

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Helgafy July 18th, 2023

@seashell145

So nice to hear from you. And no - the party was all in my imagination. But the carrot cake was for real. Soul earlier told that he made a carrot cake and ate it.

So you're from Bangladesh. Do you know something about your situation why you're tired?

The movie you saw won many prizes. I lived in Oslo for 25 years, working. Then - when I could not work anymore (52) because of health-problems I moved across the country to Bergen to live nearer to my youngest brother and his family and my mother who was living in the town I was born and lived until a became 18 years old (Haugesund). But by moving I experienced what you also wrote about: I could not find friends here. Well - I was a big tree in Oslo with all my roots and leaves (friends, loving Oslo etc.) - so very many hard moments I have had since moving here. Because of health-issues it was impossible for me to move back.

Friend, you ask: "Do you ever feel like no one cares about you?" I am very fortunate. I know I have people who care for me. And I also focus very much on the fact that Jesus Christ loves me and was willing to die for me and me not being perfect so that I could be in contact with God, the Father in heaven.

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