My Silent Voice (Diary)
My notes for today: Fake people with Fake motives yet they are the ones you are suppose to love and care about??
It is so hard to change me when daily I face the same unproductive crap that keeps feeding on my Traums's How do you get out of this dark hole when everything around you keeps dragging you into this pit. I never knew Love and I've had to make my pain my pleasure and find Happyness in it. Makes me wonder are some people born just to endure torrment and abuse. I trive as I just want to survive, The saying we all have the right to life and the pursuit of happyness. I'm still looking, still trying to find what should already be mine.
ScarletPear1945
@scarletPear1945 Hey you :) Hope you don't mind - it's that time of year. Dropping off little holiday ratties ❤️
Peace and love to you Pear ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks so much. How are you doing? Are you already for the holidays?
🎅🎄
@scarletPear1945 You're welcome :) Tbh - this is a hard time of the year and I'm finding I'm alittle lost. A new part made their presence known recently so that's added to the chaos. Thank you for asking ❤️ Put up a tree and lights outside and got some gifts for the littles - so kind of ready for the holidays
And you? How are you doing? Have anything special planned for the holidays?
@mytwistedsoul
I am doing fine. I am having internet and phone issues are the most significant issues. I have got my Christmas candy orders completed and I have played Santa to a few friends now I am ready to settle down for a warm winter night😊.
Happy Holidays to you and all those you love and care about.🤶🎄
Wake up to a total mess that started with a little drip. My husband ruptured the water line and flooded the whole downstairs. Stood there looking at the water gushing though out the house dumbfounded.
I had to call 911 to the house to cut off the main water valve. I had to lay down sheets all my towels and anything else I could find. Throw rugs dripping wet trying to drag them outdoors. New hardwood floors are bulking. He is still standing looking saying I made a bobo. My head is about to explode. The fire department arrives and gets the water shut off and tells us we have to hire a plumber to cut a hole in the house to fix what the husband broke. No water tonight.
Then he ask me if he should get out of his wet clothes and I replied, no keep them on. I know I was wrong in my answer but I felt it was a dumb question. Then he goes to bed and leaves me to finish mopping up water and hanging out the rugs. I am so *** off.
@scarletPear1945
Seems like every time I start to feel better there comes something to knock me back again. I try so hard to not get sucked into his ish, but here I go down that rabbit hole,
I missed the mark again
@scarletPear1945
Stay out of the rabbit hole. I am somewhere down here and it’s too dark and scary.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Thank you, I am trying my best😊thanks for the reminder.
@scarletPear1945 Oh Pear 😞 I'm so sorry all this happened. Its got to be so frustrating for you having to deal with this. Its not much I know - but I'm sending you strength ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Much needed and accepted. I am just so angry. our floors are going to have to be replaced money money money that I not long ago paid to have these things done. If he would have fixed that leak when I first told him about it, this would not have happened. I try to be understanding of his condition but it has always been when he did not want to do something he made a mess of it so you would not ask him again. Just don't do it if you don't want to. Now you are costing us several thousand to replace what you damaged. Taking money that could be used or saved for this dumb ish.
@scarletPear1945 Oh gosh yeah. I can totally understand why you're angry. And the cost of everything is just so high right now. And if before he would mess things up so he wouldn't be asked to do something again - it would be hard to know if this is the dementia or that. Which would be extremely frustrating. Will insurance help any or - Idk you have to be afraid to see because it might raise your rates. I know around here there clean up places like servepro I think it's called maybe they could help salvage the floors? Idk. I'm just so sorry you have to deal with all this 😞
@scarletPear1945 Hey you:) I've missed seeing your name pop up here and there. I bet you probably got alot going on right now with the floors and stuff. I hope everything is going ok
Take care of yourself ok? *sending you lots of hugs and strength* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
@scarletPear1945 Just dropping off a hug ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
web site help sucks and seems impossible to get help. Scarletpear is locked out of the Member account since Christmas. Support is not helping. Do you know anyone to contact???
@bubblegumPuppy68 Oh no! The website help does suck tbh. I often get the emails that say I'll hear back in 24-48 hours but I never do
Maybe contacting Heather? Or Hope? Or Mel? Someone higher up on the food chain? I'll look around and see who I can ask. Maybe filling out a bug report? Because your account still comes up as active but you're locked out of it
@mytwistedsoul
The account that this is posting under is just BubblegumPuppy without the 68 and the 68 is supposed to be the Listener account. What a mess. Can you provide info as to how to contact one of them?
@BubblegumPuppy I couldn't find Mel - but here's https://www.7cups.com/@Heather225
https://help.7cups.com/hc/en-us/requests/new
The last one is the help page to submit bugs and requests. I can't guarantee that they'll be of help but hopefully Heather or Hope can point you in the right direction
I can imagine your frustration. It's so hard to get in touch with someone when you need help with this stuff here
I hope you can get it sorted out!
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much>👌OOPs emailed Heather without the 225 on the email but it did not come back.
@BubblegumPuppy You're welcome! ❤️ You could try messaging them too. It might be quicker but I can't guarantee that either. Communication here is really lacking 😕
@mytwistedsoul
Heather has gotten to work to try to get it fixed. Thank you so much sis😊❤️
I got hit with that new stomach virus which has been awful. I hope it is finally coming to an end.
The contractors did not show up to start the work on the kitchen cabinets or floor. Suppose to come today I hope. back I got to get help to put back 3 panels of the fence the storm took down. A project for later. One step at a time.
Oh by the way I saw your chickens and that Pretty horse. I love that😊
@BubblegumPuppy You're welcome! I'm happy I could help 😊 I'm glad its being worked on. Hopefully it won't take too long to fix
Oh no! I hope you feel better soon! It's no fun being sick ❤️
Hopefully the contractor showed up today and did some work. Between being locked out of here - being sick and the contractor not getting things done - I would be so frustrated by now
Awww you saw my feathery friends! 😊 They are such sweet chickens. They run up when they see me and like to be petted and Danny boy - he's a good horse. He takes treats so nice and is just really gentle
*hugs to you* ❤️
You've been in my thoughts ❤️ no word on how things are going with the account?
*sending you lots of hugs* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
I just got a text from Heather yesterday. She could not find my Member account, and she needs a link to one of my 50+ Forum Posts. I asked AdmiralPeace last night if she could send Heather a link as I can not access the account. Even this account she said has not been used in over a year which is not true. However, I think when they did all the updates to the site, something happened that canceled my account.
I have been sick with something going on with my stomach, and I still have stomach issues.
The contractors have not yet begun the work on my home as of yet, and I am really discussed with all this bull. He went and had me purchase all the supplies and was supposed to be here this morning at 7 am, which was a no-show.
I got a new Therapist last week, the ones that would not return my call, finally called and gave me an appointment. Not sure, if I am going to stay or not seems they are very disorganized.
Just ate and my stomach is getting upset. Talk to you as soon as I can, and thanks for checking on me
@bubblegumPuppy68 Omg Pear that sucks! I would be devastated if I lost my account. I kind of remember seeing someone else saying thier account got deleted too. Man that's just horrible. I hope they can fix it for you
@mytwistedsoul
Got a new account WorkingThrough2. Never got a message back about the old account😊
@WorkingitThrough2 Pear! *big hugs* ❤️ Welcome back! You've been in my thoughts. I missed you! Dang I'm sorry they never got back to you about your old account 😞 I was hoping they'd fix things
@mytwistedsoul
Hi,😁
I am in such turmoil right now, and alters are very active in the background. Sleep has been awful.
The contractor has been a joke, but all I had to work with. The work was half done and the new flooring is stretched up from him moving the refrigerator. He had the nerve to charge me a huge price and the work was still not complete. Coming back Friday to supposedly to complete his work.
I am having another person come and do my Living room floor. I have been working day and night moving and washing dishes and stuff. Trying to use this time for Spring Cleaning time.
How are you and the boys? You can call me Nancy.
@WorkingitThrough2. Welcome back! I’m glad to see you here again ❤️.
@adventurousBranch3786
Thanks, glad to be back😊❤️
How are you? I have missed my friends
@adventurousBranch3786
Hey thought I would check in on you to see how things were going and to see if you found a good movie to watch.
@WorkingitThrough2 I’m doing okay. We missed you too ❤️.
@WorkingitThrough2. I did get many good suggestions. I’ll be watching an old one called “ The Firm “ this weekend. Thanks for asking.
@WorkingitThrough2 Hey Nancy :) I'm sorry to hear that sleep has been awful. Dealing with all this is tiring to begin with. It would be nice if we could get some sleep - an actual restful sleep - not one filled with nightmares
Hopefully this contractor finishes up on Friday so you can be done with him. I hope the contactor you got for the living room does a better job for you. And gets the job done right in a decent amount of time. We finally decided on paint for the living room and started to paint - spring cleaning as we go. I came to the conclusion we have too much crap lol
Some days are harder then others. Restless and anxious - depressed but holding on lol
*Hugs* I hope you make time to rest a little in between everything you're doing ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Livingroom floor is done and it looks good. They did a great job. I just said the same thing about having to much junk and I am getting rid of a bunch LoL.
@WorkingitThrough2 I'm glad they got your floor done! :) Woohoo! It's got to be nice getting your house back in order
@iamwhoiamwhoami
reaching out to you, I just want to check on you to see how things are going❤️
@WorkingitThrough2
Thank you for reaching out. Same old thing for me. I hope things are going better for you.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hello, my friend, Things at home are going somewhat better, I think that my health may be declining some but nevertheless, I am pushing forward. I have a few upcoming doctor appointments and I have a new Therapist that is a trauma specialist which is my first time ever. Not yet comfortable enough with her to spill my guts(LOL)😂.
I guess this all comes with the territory of getting older. Are you feeling any better? and are you still trying to work? I am glad that you are hanging in there, keep up the good work.❤️
@WorkingitThrough2
Not sure on my end when or where things are headed. I honestly don’t know what to do next. My drive is completely gone and with everything that’s happening in my little speck of the universe, I am at the point of giving up completely. I am sorry for bringing my negativity into your world. It would be nice if I was a positive person, sharing love and concern instead of what I am.
I hope your world gets brighter everyday.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Touching base with you, How was your day?❤️
@WorkingitThrough2
Thanks for asking, it would be nice if I had something positive to say about it but same struggles, different day.
I hope things are looking better for you.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
miss seeing you but you are on my mind
@WorkingitThrough2 Hey you :) Just wanted to pop in and say hey. You've been in my thoughts
*leaves hugs* ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
I have been trying to post here but it was not letting me post so I thought they had totally shut down my diary. I still have not heard anything about this account as of yet. They said they were working on it but I think they keep dropping the ball. When they respond to me they have my ScarletPear photo, but no access to the account.
This is so crazy. Anyhow you can always find me under the other name. I am also starting a new Diary in case they don;t get the old one back.
Thanks for checking in on me. Don't know how long they will allow this to work. It had been shut down for a few days and just would not let me post anything.
@WorkingitThrough2 That would be frustrating. I'll admit I haven't had many problems with posting but then again I haven't been posting much at all
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks, me too 😊
@WorkingitThrough2
Hey, you are in my head, and I thought I needed to check on you❤️
Just want to tell you what a great person you are.
I am not sure if this is the place to put things like this. I attended an international sibling sexual abuse day the another website was advertizing. It was really just for therapist and parents. There was no real validation or guidance for adult survivors that had this happen and what to do ... they had a super sad song (at least for me) about breaking the silence ... so bipolar me though ... I should break silence with the local police about what happen back in the 1970s in my household and extend family that were unable to help. I realized something important ... when you poor your heart out to a police info email and the medical ER you were seen in 1974. Expect, SILENCE ... especially when you come from a family with high adverse experiences. Also expect, that if you copy the person that motivated you, such as the leader of the event, that it will not be recieved well and then I realized I was just a disturbance again. I wasn't validated, heard, no real direction of what I should do to take care of myself .... maybe it is better this turtle stays in her shell. I will not share what I shared in the email. I have a tendency to give too much detail and I don't have a good idea about boundaries until I experience them ... sort of sucks ... all this trial and error. Anyway, I will be talking to my therapist tonight that I didn't consult before attending this event or contacting the police about the past. Sorry, that I continue to disappoint. I was actually using *** again but it looks like a bipolar account .... taking a break again from *** and coming back here. At least here I don't get excitable posts that triggers a very sad past. I was hoping emaling the police would give me closure but know I just feel like how I did growing up in my family, ignored and shut-up, and handled until my Mom died in 2013. She was my handler. Thanks for reading.
@considerateTurtle007
Hello, so glad you stopped by and shared your story. I am so sorry that you have been faced with these troubles. I hope that your Therapist and the police can help you to resolve these situations. Sorry that you lost your mother. I understand that being Bipolar is hard and I hope that you can find comfort and healing and lots of support.
This Diary is mine but you are welcome to post here anytime you wish, or if you just need a listening ear I am here for you. You are not alone❤️
@WorkingitThrough2
RECLAIMING MY DIARY BACK. PLEASE SOMEBODY GET IT BACK. MY PROFILE PICTURE HAS BEEN REMOVED.
ANYONE WHO CAN FIX THIS MESS? MY SPOT PLEASE CONNECT IT BACK TO MY PROFILE; PLEASE
@WorkingitThrough2 I was just thinking about you earlier ❤️ Did some else come up missing?
@mytwistedsoul
Heather had said that one of my member accounts would have to be deleted but instead, it is the Listener account and a member account that needs to go but nothing has been done, nothing at all. I want to save my Silent Voice diary and them to remove that question mark and put my profile picture back.
@WorkingitThrough2 It's ridiculous that they can't put it back. It's really ridiculous that it got deleted in the first place. And trying to get in contact with someone is hard. Yeah you can message and fill out a ton of forms but you never hear back. I keep hoping they'll get things fixed for you because these accounts and pictures are parts and symbols of us