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Community Concerns

User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK August 18th, 2018

@Anomalia @EvelyneRose @Jenna @MelAllyouneedislove @MonBon @Pali @PolarCat @PoliteOcean @Power @RaCat @bookworm4 @fluffyUnicorn84 @soulsings

Im reaching out to you all as ambassadors to ask if youre comfortable with whats going on in the 7cups community. I dont want to get into a debate of whos right and whos wrong, but I simply want to look at the impact of decisions made, and the lack of any contingency.

So weve recently seen 80% of the trauma community leadership team removed from their roles. Because this has been viewed by those affected to have been an unfair and unjustified action by @Laura , it has led to a number of people leave 7cups, including the leader of that community, Rain45. I wont bore you with all Rains achievements for the community, other than to say they were numerous. She worked professionally and conscientiously, and grew the trauma community from a few neglected threads to the thriving subcommunity it is today. It now seems shes no longer ‘a good fit. Nor it seems are @agreeableKite4304 @LifeIsMyCanvas @Raveninthelabrynth @BeeLeigh @DeborahUK

Id ask you to take a look at the contribution these people have made to the community, their profiles, their ratings, their forum activity, their involvement in group support, and tell me how so many people who have contributed so much and are so highly regarded by those they support, how are they all no longer ‘a good fit?

But moving on from that, having seen the leadership of the trauma community decimated, what contingency plans have we seen put in place for the 1,445 members of that community? Zero

What messages or offers of support have we had from leaders in the 7cups community? Zero

Im not asking for sides to be taken here. Im asking that somebody considers the needs of that membership and offers some help, some guidance, some support. Weve seen workshops cancelled, guided discussions cancelled, open chat cancelled, the newsletter put on hold, check ins having to go from daily to twice weekly at one point. These are activities that all receive a lot of traffic. Check ins regularly exceed 100 responses. Theres a need for all these activities, and yet theyve been hugely compromised by recent events. But either no one has noticed, or no one cares.

Apart from the impact on the trauma community, Im aware of the fear recent decisions have created. 7cups does not have a culture of openness and fairness - how can there be when one person has the power to remove so many of a leadership team without having to account for the reasons for doing so? The culture is one of ‘do as I say, ‘toe the line, ‘dont question, because people are fearful that if they do then the communities and causes theyre passionate about will also be treated in a similar way. Interestingly the question that initially started the demise of the trauma community, that of common training and onboarding for all participants, has now been conceded. But at what cost?

So the reason for my post is two fold. Firstly to ask for support to build the trauma sub community back up, so the activities the members so value can be reinstated. Secondly though, Im asking you to consider if youre happy with the way the 7 cups community is managed, and with the culture that currently exists. Im asking you to really take stock of the feelings that exist within this community. And Im asking you to consider ways in which that culture can be improved, and the role you as an ambassador could and should be playing in that.

@GlenM

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User Profile: AffyAvo
AffyAvo August 18th, 2018

@DeborahUK Are there people still listed on Trauma support who are no longer in those roles? Currently, I see 18 leaders listed.

Are those the remaining 20%?

3 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 18th, 2018

@AffyAvo

If I can be frank, three of those significant leader roles have seen the person assigned to them be completely invisible throughout recent difficulties. Also, as with any team, there are some people at any one time who are inactive, and thats the case within the trauma community. Im not getting into semantics here, but the 6 people removed were very active in the community, and the impact of their recent treatment has been profound.

2 replies
User Profile: AffyAvo
AffyAvo August 18th, 2018

@DeborahUK Ok, I was just trying to get a feel for where the community is at. I knew that there were some problems and some leaders left/were removed, but I have also had 2 periods where I've been away since the spring, so have missed some of what has happened from what has been made public.

After this post, I checked out the community leadership list. Without actually watching the activity within the SC, a quick glance does make it look like there's enough people to lead the SC.

I do agree with you on wishing some things were more openly discussed.

1 reply
User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh August 18th, 2018

@AffyAvo

Those who remain on the leaderboard (aside from, I believe, two) are new or inactive (or not a part of Trauma at all, as is the case with Brit - not getting into that again, shes not on the team, shes on Support+). Theres basically no one left. And, while Laura has no issues with removing people or banning them with no regard for the impact it would have, she seems ambivalent to the drastic holes left by the removal of those who carry so much of the weight. She *sends support* in subcom leader meetings....while providing ZERO support in all actuality. Empty words accomplish nothing. Have a look at the last transcript of you get a chance. Its appalling. One person cannot be allowed to bully entire communities into nonexistence. One person cannot be allowed to remove most of a team from their positions. One person cannot be allowed to ban entire teams. And for what? For asking that the safety of our members be paramount to any badges being handed out? This one person seems to have made it her mission to destroy Trauma, and she refuses to even give us the courtesy of responding to emails.

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User Profile: Jenna
Jenna August 18th, 2018

@DeborahUK

I honestly have kept my nose out of this situation as it's not any of my business. While being a leader here at 7 cups, I refuse to be involved in situations that have nothing to do with me simply for my own mental health and for the benefit of others as I can get too assertive and straightforward with what I say. I respect you all for your dedication and hard work that you put into this community. I do not know the whole story of what has happened only parts, but I also respect the choices our admins have made as I am sure whatever happened, they see that this was best fit for whatever behaviors were displayed. I refuse to pick sides in this situation as I like to remain neutral when it is best kept that way when being pulled into something like this. I support both sides with their feelings and decisions and believe both sides feelings are very valid with what has been going on. I am also available for emotional support for both sides as long as no side step into triangulation or try to get me personally involved. I care about you all dearly, and I do wish you the best, but sometimes you have to pick your fights, and this is not mine.

3 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 18th, 2018

As I wrote @Jenna , Im not asking you to take sides. You appear to have missed my point. Firstly Im asking you what you can do to assist the trauma community. ‘Nothing appears to be your answer. Secondly Im asking you to consider the culture of 7 cups and your role in it.

2 replies
User Profile: Jenna
Jenna August 18th, 2018

@DeborahUK

I am very aware of what you said, but I am clarifying in my messages that I do not wish to pick sides or get involved. My mental health can't handle this stress. I also mentioned that I can assist by helping support those emotionally without getting involved in the drama itself nor having any part of triangulation. However, the "culture of 7 cups" isn't what has been explained. Everyone is allowed to freely express how they feel about a situation, ask questions, etc as long as it's all done in a constructive way and not in a manner that is going to make someone feel attacked or guilty. Also, one person does not make the decisions, the entire admin team as a whole do and one or two (meaning our community managers) have to take the action the team has decided on.

1 reply
User Profile: LifeIsMyCanvas
LifeIsMyCanvas August 18th, 2018

@Jenna

I used to believe that but I don't any more. I thought I'd handled things well considering and I was still removed. Feels like the only way to be safe it to not say anything so I understand some of the caution I see in your posts. I definately agree that the conflicts can be damaging to your mental health, I've had to process a lot of stress and rejection but I'm glad that you have acknowledged Debs post and offered to support folks in a way that is healthy for you :)

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User Profile: PoliteOcean
PoliteOcean August 18th, 2018

@DeborahUK

I feel I must agree with what @Jenna has stated above. As I feel that they have stated my thoughts best on this.

To be honest, I try to keep myself out of any "Drama" or "Issues" that do not concern me or the "Team/Subcom" that I represent here at 7cups. Nor, do I really even know what is going on with the Trauma community. If it isn't brought to my "personal" attention by "Admin" then I stay out of it. The best that I can do as a Mentor, and as an Ambassador, is to just continue moving forward in a positive way with All of my roles and duties here at 7cups and continue to support those who in turn need my support. As well do the best that I can as a leader of the Team/Subcoms that I lead and represent.....I am here for all members and listeners alike if you or they would like to chat personally. But I will not, or do not get involved with situations that I for one, have no full knowledge of. And this is one of them.

I'm sorry that the situation has affected you in this manner, but know that we are all here to provide you as well as others continued support.

1 reply
User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh August 18th, 2018

@PoliteOcean

Youre not here for us at all. You just said that. Youd rather not get involved? Youd rather turn a blind eye? Okay. Need I remind you of First they came... by Martin Niemöller? You turn a blind eye now, and there will be no one to stand up for you when your neck is in the guillotine. Get involved. Learn the situation. Stand up for what is right and just. Dont just let Laura bully everyone with an opinion that differs from hers. Shes told outright lies, and removed people for pointing out those lies. How is that just? Shes banned accounts for activities they werent involved in. How is that just? Shes shared private communications in the forums. How is that just? Dont bury your head in the sand. Open your eyes. If you dont now, you may never get the chance.

1 reply
User Profile: PoliteOcean
PoliteOcean August 18th, 2018

@BeeLeigh

Well Beeleigh, I refuse to go back and forth on this.. I'm not here to fight or argue or battle with anyone.... As @Jenna stated above, "My" mental health comes "FIRST" above all things here. So I am not going to get involved in a choice or decision that Admin made about something that I have no involvement in.

What I don't understand is how you can choose to see the "light" in Jenna's offer to help support, yet, you outright just accused "me" of not being here to support others or "Deb"? As well as acknowledged their above statement.... When it was one that I souley agreed with... To me that's a double-edge sword.

7cups is to be about a site that offers "positive" support for others... and thats why I came here, and that is what I choose to continue to support and be involved in....Its surely your choice to feel the way you do. Just as its my choice to feel the way I need to for my own Mental and emotional well-being.

Have a good day~

1 reply
User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh August 18th, 2018

@PoliteOcean

I didn

1 reply
User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 19th, 2018

@BeeLeigh

SInce I was tagged, I guess I'll share my bit too. I think the point is neither of them were involved, and a bunch of people tagged including me weren't involved. I'll only speak for myself, becoming involved would mean stopping what I do, and involving myself in a hugely complex situation. Getting involved means taking sides in a situation I had no part of. It would be like if there was a big conflict in doctor industry, but I was a teacher. What exactly could i contribute? I don't know the culture of the doctor industry and I wouldn't feel informed enough to help effectively.

Every conflict situation that happens anywhere, in real life or here, has more than one side to it. Admin saw fit to do what they did, trauma community feels they are right, and everyone has a right to feel how they feel on all sides. No one's feelings aren't valid. This whole site is about conflict resolution and talking things out and listening, not about (to quote your above post) "letting evil win" if we don't join against admin, so I guess I'd rather listen to people and have them feel heard no matter who it is. Everyone here is a human being with thoughts and feelings and beliefs on what happened. I support all, just as Jenna and Politeocean said.

1 reply
User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh August 19th, 2018

@EvelyneRose

Nice to know all our amabassadors would rather sit by and do nothing. Absolutely wonderful to know who we canNOT depend on.

1 reply
User Profile: LifeIsMyCanvas
LifeIsMyCanvas August 19th, 2018

@BeeLeigh

Bee honey, you know I love you dearly and I'm here for you as I know all this is hurting you immensely...

However I do think it's unfair to say that people are doing nothing because they aren't doing things the way you think is right. Everyone is entitled to their own inner truth and to engage in things or not. I think the common theme in the thread is people are willing to hear everyone out and support both sides, without judgement. I think the without judgement part is important because we know how much it hurts when people judge us openly, especially when they don't have 100% of the picture and that's all that's really being said here hun. I love ya, and you know where I am if you need to vent heart

1 reply
User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh August 19th, 2018

@LifeIsMyCanvas

I just see people saying they refuse to get involved. Which I might expect from a member, but not an ambassador.

1 reply
User Profile: giganticPup
giganticPup August 22nd, 2018

@BeeLeigh

One thing I learned from my time here is this.

Glen and Laura make the decisions. It doesn't matter how hard ambassadors fight or what they care about or how many examples they present of abuse. In fact, the harder you push for quality, the faster you fall out of favour with the paid staff. So your choices as a leader in this community are either

a) do what you can to try and make this place as positive as you can

or

b) fight to make this place functional and non abusive and be pushed out.

I'm not excusing the behaviour because it's gross to sit around and watch this community treat people who come here for help so poorly, just helping you to understand the position that they are in and the choices they have.

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User Profile: GodOfWarMars
GodOfWarMars August 18th, 2018

Let's be honest.
Trauma Community was discriminated on 7cups a lot. The work that the mods of Trauma Support done was appropriated by others even the "others" haven't done any work on it.
It's funny how many people who done to their community so much get their roles removed or oher people who done nothing banned, bout 7cups can' take care of so many trolls even there is ton of evidence.

Great work 7cups.
When you think you're at the bottom, don't worry. There will be someone who will break through the bottom and find a new one.

User Profile: Mel
Mel August 19th, 2018

Hey @DeborahUK firstly I would like to apologise for not having answered to you sooner even though you tagged me in the initial post (you may or may not know I was away on a trip till recently and seeing things from the app is a bit hard, I'm slowly coming back from my break). That being said, I need to make myself clear that I wasn't here when these decisions about the trauma subcommunity were made but I'll still try to help you make sense to it. Anyhow I understand how upsetting this can be for you and indeed hard to understand why someone would take this decision. I would like to contribute with my two cents on how we usually manage conflict situations (or how we should be doing it) and how problematic it is when there's lack of communication.

Is it okay to start a fight in the forums? No, it's not. It's also not okay to continue it or not help the conversation calm down. I encourage you to speak up, to talk about what you think is unfair but always do it respectfully. Otherwise your point gets missed because it only felt as attacking for the people who read it.

Should action be taken if there's a fight in the forums? Yes. All of you that are involved in the forums (or any other track, really) know that as a moderator we need to solve problems effectively and in the best way possible. Not fight or insult whom you're talking to. This is a particular offense if you're someone in a leadership position because you are an example to your peers.

I'm not going to go into the topic of the leader list, because that's not my place. What I believe here though is that Trauma team was very strong, but closed off. When it was possible to add new members to do new project, expand the community, they were accepted at first but then not treated correctly. So there seems to have been a confusion of who does what and a clear lack of communication if some members still don't know how Support+ works. I find this specially upsetting because it seemed to created an even bigger bridge between "what adult teams are" and "what teen teams are". Take a moment to reflect with me on this, is it what we really want? Does pushing people away because you think "they are not on the trauma team" work? Understanding that and everybody's point of view, I think, is clearly the first step to resolve a conflict, which seems to not have been resolved yet. Every topic can be approached calmly and something very important we say at every forum training is: It's okay if you feel triggered, mad or sad about a post, if it's something you can't handle at the moment or if you need help with it, you can ask for help - you can let it rest for a bit and answer when you're feeling better. Knowing when to take a step back is healthy and answering you when you feel better, or less upset, will make the conversation go much better.

Above all, I would like to make sure you know my pms are open if you would like to have a calm clear chat about this. I don't want you to feel like we're not listening to you here - because we are. We're indeed here to help you and deescalate conflicts is a way of doing so. We all were trying to help the situation as best as possible, having everybody's actions and thoughts in mind. I have no doubt Trauma Community is very dedicated and will manage to get through this as long as you go back to working together. Bringing new people in isn't a bad thing, after all, we build this place out of team work. If you ever need a hand somewhere within your subcommunity, answering threads or bringing in some kind of activity or new members, please let me know, any kind of help.

Thank you for the tag and I hope we can give this a healthy close soon.

cc: @BeeLeigh

3 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 19th, 2018

@MelAllyouneedislove

Thank you for taking time to write your post, but I dont see that youre actually responding to me at all. Let me just paste the final part of my opening post below:

So the reason for my post is two fold. Firstly to ask for support to build the trauma sub community back up, so the activities the members so value can be reinstated. Secondly though, Im asking you to consider if youre happy with the way the 7 cups community is managed, and with the culture that currently exists. Im asking you to really take stock of the feelings that exist within this community. And Im asking you to consider ways in which that culture can be improved, and the role you as an ambassador could and should be playing in that.

So firstly, what can you offer to support the trauma sub community at this current time? Well I see precious little in your post to answer that. You say the trauma team has been closed off. I dispute that, and I think you only have to look at the number of new members that were being brought through to the leadership team lately to see thats not the case. Sadly though those new members of the team were awaiting training, and that has had to be postponed since a large chunk of the leadership team were deposed.

Secondly I'm referring to the culture prevalent in 7 cups overall. I havent played a prominent role in this community, but Ive still been approached by enough people, and kept my ear to the ground enough, to know that all is not well, and that numerous people feel the only way to get on is to keep opinions quiet. And thats fine to a degree, but when its on issues that really matter, there comes a time when speaking up is essential. I did that. I asked why all members of the sub community leadership team werent required to complete the same onboarding and training. I was met with censorship and allegations of bullying, although having spoken to forum representatives it seems none of my posts deserved such extreme responses. And after four weeks in which the trauma sub community was thrown into turmoil, it was accepted by Laura that the training and onboarding should be the same for all in the sub community leadership, something shes since posted about in the forums. A culture that brings a team to its knees, before conceding to a point a month later, does not seem to me to be a healthy one.

Ive been really surprised by the responses of the ambassadors so far. I wasnt expecting for one minute that you should take sides, and I said in my original post that wasnt what I was asking for. But I would have expected you to care about the 7 cups community, and want it to uphold the highest standards from the top down. Are you honestly saying you dont see room for improvement?

3 replies
User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 19th, 2018

@DeborahUK

There is a difference between not caring and not wanting to get involved in a situation someone had no part of. I feel like every Ambassador works hard on improving the community in their own ways. If you feel there are things that could improve, then I encourage you (or anyone reading) to voice constructive feedback utilizing set up platforms (appropriate forums sections, suggestion box, etc). With that being said, I, like everyone else, am not here to argue. I am not exactly sure what help you are looking for.

2 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 19th, 2018

@EvelyneRose

Im not asking you to get involved in anything specific thats gone before. To repeat:

So the reason for my post is two fold. Firstly to ask for support to build the trauma sub community back up, so the activities the members so value can be reinstated. Secondly though, Im asking you to consider if youre happy with the way the 7 cups community is managed, and with the culture that currently exists. Im asking you to really take stock of the feelings that exist within this community. And Im asking you to consider ways in which that culture can be improved, and the role you as an ambassador could and should be playing in that.

1 reply
User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 19th, 2018

Thank you for clarifying! I thought I answered that, but if you want more of my thoughts, you are welcoming to PM me :)

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User Profile: RarelyCharlie
RarelyCharlie August 21st, 2018

Interestingly, following a recent expansion of the forum guidelines we are no longer allowed to make statements like:

...Ive still been approached by enough people, and kept my ear to the ground enough, to know that all is not well, and that numerous people feel the only way to get on is to keep opinions quiet.

The new rule (called Generalization) didn't make any sense to me when it first appeared, as I noted in that thread. Obviously, however, it could make financial sense for 7 Cups to make the free parts of 7 Cups feel less safe for people.


@DeborahUK

3 replies
User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 21st, 2018

@RarelyCharlie

I think it is worth noting that the admins have almost always encouraged against generalization in this context so it's not that it's suddenly not allowed (the specific iteration of these guidelines have been up since May, but they were taken directly from the previous iteration of the guidelines that were already existing), but that we're making more of an effort in ensuring these are consistently applied.

3 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 21st, 2018

@MonBon

Id just like to make the point that I could highlight named people and roles, but when Ive done that previously Ive been censored and accused by the named person of bullying, though actually I was trying to be transparent. So it seems not naming names is ‘generalised and not allowed, yet naming names is ‘bullying and not allowed. Shall we just call a spade a spade? Free speech on this site is not allowed (unless of course youre in agreement with those in charge). Heaven forbid you should actually express an independent opinion.

1 reply
User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 21st, 2018

@DeborahUK

I would say it is accurate we don't have "free speech"

Posts can and are edited.

1 reply
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 21st, 2018

@MonBon

Neatly side stepped

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User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 22nd, 2018

@DeborahUK

This thread has not been deleted, so free speech is welcome as long as it's constructive. Naming names can quickly turn to into potential trouble even with the best of intentions, so all names anyone posts are blocked out if the post can become (or already is) controversial in nature :)

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User Profile: RarelyCharlie
RarelyCharlie August 22nd, 2018

Sadly, "the admins have almost always encouraged" is also generalization, according to this weird rule frown

Personally, I would say that your statement is perfectly reasonable, but who am I to judge?

However, even though your statement seems perfectly reasonable, I don't find evidence for it. My Google search for "generalization" on this site found 28 hits, and the only one that indicates it's not allowed is Friday's expanded guideline. My search for "never speak for other people" only found one hit, Friday's expanded guideline.

Ironically, the first Google search happened to turn up a remark I made more than two years ago, in the thread Constructive Feedback for Moderators. Maybe I'm allowed to quote myself?

Alas, there's no sign of any pulling together as a community so far.

Oh no! I'm now guilty of "intentionally posting duplicates" sad

Do you see how rules like these can be used to stifle reasonable discussion?

I understand you're between a rock and a hard place with all this. I have a couple of positive suggestions about the guidelines that belong in the other thread.


@MonBon

1 reply
User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 22nd, 2018

@RarelyCharlie

I do, and I welcome your comments on the guidelines thread about how to improve them ^^

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User Profile: Mel
Mel August 22nd, 2018

@DeborahUK I'm sorry you are not finding the response you want to within my post, I did answer every point you made (maybe not agreeing, but I did) so I invite you to re-read when you're feeling a bit better, maybe it will make more sense. Or maybe not, and it's valid. What I do want to clear up is that I did offer you a hand wherever you need.

I'm also sorry you don't agree with the decisions being made if there's something that we can't deny is that we've all been open to talk (hence the responses to this thread - which I think most people who this concerned to answered) and reasons were showed, which again, you may not agree with but I think it'll help us all if we do our best to understand each other's pain. I understand how you feel this hasn't been fair - otherwise we wouldn't take the time going over things more than once, in emails and here so please know you're point is being listened. This does not mean though that opinions need to change because it has not being something done out of the blue, a lot of thought was put into it and I hope that with some time you can understand at least some parts of it and perhaps that will help.

Sending you all the love. (I'll probably not answer here again because I think I already sent my two cents in and would like to see more people chiming in, but again, my pms are totally open if you want to talk, vent or get some help!).

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User Profile: RaCat
RaCat August 20th, 2018

Hey there, thanks for expressing your concerns and bringing it up - it's always good to see people that genuinely care about the community and wants the best for it - and I can see that you are someone like that. I can only imagine how hurt and upset you are to lose your friends and your leaders, to lose someone you have been working with for so long, to loose things that you were working on - that's truly upsetting and it's understandable that you are frustrated.

You asked us not to take sides and that's what I am doing - I need to admit that I tried to be involved as little as possible to this all situation, while I was still following what's going on there because after all, Trauma is sub-community and I care about each and every sub-community here in 7Cups. So I might not know the whole story and maybe there will be something I am not aware of, but from what I know and from what I saw, the decisions that were made were not made out of blue. If I know it right, the community management team were trying to talk with the leaders, together and separately, were suggesting the times and were open to the times suggested by the team, but the suggestions were not accepted and the meeting was not arranged - I wonder why it happened and I tend to believe that it was not faulted of the community management team, nor it was a fault of Trauma team - there is someone who is totally saint in any situation, neither here.

But yes, all in all, I feel safe and good in the community and with the things happening in 7Cups at the moment because I know that the team is always willing to discuss things first and that 7Cups believes in 2nd chance.

There were some mistakes made by both sides and I believe that both sides need to face consequences - I can see it happening. 7Cups is a place for people to be supportive, to collaborate and to be working together to help those in need - and if something of these is not happening, we need to look for the reasons why, why it's not working. I believe that this whole situation showed some problems that we have in our site and in our system and I am happy to work on fixing them - sometimes issues help us to identify the problem. At the same time, it showed us the importance of collaboration and working together - we are all the same and we are all equal. If you have something, you don't need to hide and protect it, I believe that sharing is a way to make the site even better and it's something we do in 7Cups.

User Profile: Anomalia
Anomalia August 21st, 2018

So the reason for my post is two fold. Firstly to ask for support to build the trauma sub community back up, so the activities the members so value can be reinstated. Secondly though, Im asking you to consider if youre happy with the way the 7 cups community is managed, and with the culture that currently exists. Im asking you to really take stock of the feelings that exist within this community. And Im asking you to consider ways in which that culture can be improved, and the role you as an ambassador could and should be playing in that.

I've spoken at length with many on both sides of this already, so here I will focus on just responding to your last paragraph.

1. Support to build the trauma sub-community back up

I am happy to help in this, but I have concerns in how to do it in a way that is accepted by the trauma community and doesn't lead to further hurt for either party (those potentially coming in to help or the existing community). For instance, if the ask is for more people to come post in the forums and respond to members, we can ask our broader forum team to assist. There is a thread that exists for any forum team member to post in requesting others support and tends to get good response. I could post there, but I actually think it's typically more helpful for a forum supporter or mentor in the community to post exactly what is helpful (e.g., is it support on check-ins? is it responding to needs reply? etc.) so that people are directed where they are most needed. If the ask is to bring on more forum supporters and eventually forum mentors, from the general process, this is absolutely possible if there are those wishing to get involved - what I'm not sure of right now is the state of training for the trauma team in particular (i.e., if I have new forum supporters who want to get involved there, but the requirement is to follow a trauma-specific training first, how can we make that happen?) If the ask is something else, please clarify and we can brainstorm together how to make it work best.

2. Am I happy with the way 7 Cups is managed / the current culture

I have been here for 3.5 years now and in that time I have consistently felt that there are some things I'm really happy with and others that I am not. That is no different now. I would never say I think everything is perfect and sunshine and roses, but I consistently reevaluate how I feel about things and whether I believe there is more good than bad both to the site and to my staying in particular roles. The fact that I remain in my role says 1 ) that I do still believe in the site as a whole and that the leadership while not perfect is acceptable to me and 2 ) that I do still believe that I can do more good by being an ambassador than not. I have always said there will come a time when I step away from or am asked to step away from ambassador and I'm comfortable with that (frankly, it sounds pretty ideal to step back and focus full-time just on listening and none of the rest of it, but I don't yet feel it's the right time). Are there things that can be improved? Absolutely, and I advocate fully for change that I believe in. I find that in most cases of conflict on the site, I tend to have an opinion that sits in between the two sides, and I advocate for everyone to be heard, but ultimately for middle ground if there's one available. That doesn't mean that I or anyone else will always be happy with decisions made or actions taken, but a part of choosing to be in a community is accepting the rules set. Not necessarily always agreeing, and not neglecting to give feedback, but ultimately when decisions are made, we each decide whether or not we wish to stay and acknowledge that if we do, we are subject to the rules of the community and decisions of the admins. There are many decisions that have been made that I wholeheartedly agree with. There are many that I have disagreed with and later come around to (I was opposed to the feed when it was first announced and now see the great value it has added!). And there are many that I don't agree with, but accept that I have given my feedback and that now I need to either live with the decisions made or opt out altogether and I choose to live with those decisions for now and am content with my choice in the matter.

1 reply
User Profile: jennysunrise8
jennysunrise8 August 21st, 2018

@Anomalia

2. " Am i happy with the way 7cups is managed and the current culture ? " i think could be expanded and is very worthy of its own subcommunity - a centralized space where members and listeners and administrators can get together and brainstorm and find solutions to different problems all organized could call it 7cups problem solving subcommunity

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User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 21st, 2018

@jennysunrise8

I don't know if this is exactly what you were looking for, but we do have a suggestions and problem solving subforum in laura's office / kitchen table. It used to be its own category but not enough activity and most feedback is given in laura's office / kitchen table already. If that is what you are looking for, you are more than welcome to post there and help build it up. If not, you can clarify and I'll try to assist the best I can.

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User Profile: jennysunrise8
jennysunrise8 August 21st, 2018

@MonBon thank you ! good to see theres a place already set up for problem solving i only knew about the site suggestion area in the listener subcommunity ill definately check it out yes

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User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 21st, 2018

@Anomalia

Thank you for actually responding to the questions I asked.

You say you advocate for all to be heard. Whats your recourse when that doesnt happen?

As for what help the trauma community would like. Some leadership appears to me to be essential. Sadly removing half the active leadership team in one fell swoop does nothing to aid a team in functioning autonomously, nor in reaching out and identifying whats needed. Just to be noticed as a community thrown into crisis would be a start.

Ive read too many trite responses from ambassadors who plainly dont want to be involved. I guess sitting on the fence is understandable at times, when you desperately dont want to be seen taking sides, but sometimes you need to reach down from that fence and stretch out a hand for others to grab onto. I expected that may be an ambassador role. It seems I was wrong. I wonder whose role that should be on a support site?

I appreciate your response. Youre a listener who listens, and the power of being heard, or not, should never be underestimated.

User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 22nd, 2018

@Anomalia

Well said ano this is exactly what I meant.

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User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 21st, 2018

@DeborahUK

Hi Deb,

As I've discussed before with a few people, I'm working to find forum leaders to plug in and have been slowly getting through these threads and pms on this topic. Ways I'm supporting are the following:

- Working through with other ambassadors and the CMs to create the new training policy to increase consistency and collaboration in subcoms

- Talking through with individuals to see how we can rebuild the training for trauma so we can continue onboarding people in that community

- Talking through with individuals to see where and who we can plug in to some of the holes in trauma and other subcommunities

- Slowly getting through pms and threads such as these and attempting to make everyone feel heard and supported.

As I'm doing this, I am open to feedback from you and anyone else on how these should be approached. Obviously, I cannot guarantee anything, but promise to do the best I can to ensure the end result is beneficial as a whole.

I've spoken on admin actions several times before, and I'm not sure how effective rehashing it is at this point. I'm sorry the trauma community is hurting, but I'm already doing all I can. I don't know if this is what you are looking for, but here it is.

2 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 22nd, 2018

@MonBon

You certainly sound like youre trying and I cant tell you how much I appreciate that. Maybe the issue is that its not filtering through. So a conversation with one person doesnt go beyond that one person, and to the 99 people who werent privy to the conversation, it looks like no one is listening or caring.

I know this may sound over dramatic, but many within the trauma sub com have been left reeling by recent events. Its hard to explain quite why, but personally I think its been a very triggering experience, reminiscent of times Id left well behind me. Anyway, for whatever reason, its been tough. And maybe we, and I, havent been great at asking for help, and being specific about whats needed. My disappointment is that no one popped up in a check in to ask ‘what can I do to help. But I accept it would have taken an extraordinary level of intuition for anyone to know thats what I needed. And perhaps that wouldnt have been what was wanted by others in the community.

But there does appear to have been a complete lack of anything. Its like if someone dies. Is it better to ignore the bereaved for fear of saying something wrong, or simply saying ‘Im sorry. The latter for me every time. The head in the sand approach doesnt speak of awkwardness or indecision. It speaks of not caring. Whether thats the case or not, thats how it appears.

So yes, Im heartened that work is afoot. Id like to see that translate into contact with the community, into helping rebuild. And I hope that if anything else similar to the wipeout of the trauma team ever looks like happening on 7 cups, that it will be handled far better by ALL parties. Wizeakre wrote a fabulous post on mediation, and I think theres a lot to be learnt from that.

1 reply
User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 22nd, 2018

@DeborahUK

I upvoted your post for it's thoughtful reflectiveness :) I am sorry if my post came off as not caring. As you said, indecisiveness or awkwardness can come off as uncaring. As I said before, I don't know enough about the issue to know how I could be helpful, and I wasn't quite clear on what you needed help with. However, it does seem like things are in the works to get support and rebuild if I read Monbon and Anomalia's posts correctly :) So I hope you are able to get the help you would like to see.

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User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 25th, 2018

So its a week since I started this thread, since I reached out to others on a support site and asked for support. Specifically I asked for help to build the trauma sub community back up, after it was devastated by sweeping decisions to remove half its leadership team. And I reached out to the ambassadors because I believed they of all people would wish the best for this site and the people who use it. What a fool I am!

Rather than do anything constructive, most of our ambassadors have ignored the request, instead focussing on how hurt I am. I didnt post here to say Im hurt. I posted asking for help in the trauma sub com. I posted asking if our ambassadors could look at what goes on within this site and play a part in addressing the culture. It seems one person alone holds all the power, and challenges are not welcomed nor tolerated. And before that comment is edited out, its an opinion guys. Am I at least allowed an opinion? I know theyre not popular amongst ambassadors, who seem to me to be frantically holding on to their title without taking any responsibility for addressing issues on this site. Another opinion right.

Thats not completely the case. A couple of ambassadors have stepped up to offer something more, and Im grateful to them for that. But what is the role of an ambassador on this site? I cant find it defined anywhere, so Id be interested to know more about the role expectations. Frankly I think most of the ambassadors need to consider what it means too.

The trauma sub com is still in tatters. The output has been severely compromised, and that affects the members. But hey, who cares right?

1 reply
User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 25th, 2018

@DeborahUK

Well, strictly speaking, ambassadors are supposed to lead a project that affects the site as a whole, ex: forum team, group support teams, listener chatroom team, listener quality assessments, etc.

I don't quite remember what the current ambassador description says, but i do think it mentions something about being chosen by project in some respect.

I hope that addresses at least some part of your question / comment

3 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 25th, 2018

@MonBon

Thanks for the insight. Is there a role definition anywhere?

2 replies
User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 25th, 2018

@DeborahUK

Under the mentor page after you select ambassadors:

"The 7 Cups Ambassadors work closely with the community team on various small projects and overseeing the community morale and mentors. They are high level listeners who have shown impeccable judgement and individual growth.

7 Cups ambassadors help to train new mentors and lead community building projects."

User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 25th, 2018

@DeborahUK

And apologies for the split posts, but I'm on my phone.

Under become a leader, the blurb for ambassadors says:

"Ambassadors will have the privilege to access the back end panel, and edit listener profiles. Ambassadors will be chosen based on projects. The project need should correspond to mentor badges. Example, for screening reviews, the ambassador should have the quality mentor badge. You can nominate yourself or someone else to be an Ambassador."

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User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 27th, 2018

@DeborahUK

I'm going to disclaimer myself here and take off my Ambassador hat and just be me, so this is my own opinion and does not reflect the site and is not the site's opinion, admin's, etc. Only my own.

I think people want to help, it's not that no one cares, but I also think it seems like there's only one right answer, and I don't want to involve myself in a situation that involves cooperation, teamwork, and generating solutions if the only answer is one. If I'm going to help, I would want to help knowing there are many possible solutions. Also, like @monbon said, Ambassadors lead projects more than actually control the site. Our roles correspond to projects, not necessarily to site wide decisions.

1 reply
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 27th, 2018

@EvelyneRose

Intetesting theory. And how did you reach that conclusion I wonder? One right answer? Im intrigued as to why you think that to be the case, and what you think it might be.

1 reply
User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 28th, 2018

@DeborahUK

I can't tell what you're asking, so I'll just say I dunno, just seems like it. If I knew the answer, I guess a solution would be reached already, but unfortunately I'm not really sure.

1 reply
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 28th, 2018

@EvelyneRose

Its just you seem to be saying in your original post you would offer help, and I really want to see the trauma sub com functioning well again, so if you can help with that Im interested in learning more. I cant seem to get a straight answer from anyone else, and I think whilst the ongoing comments on this thread underline the difficulties, they do nothing to resolve them. Without cooperation, teamwork and leadership its difficult to see how things can get better.

1 reply
User Profile: EvelyneRose
EvelyneRose August 28th, 2018

@DeborahUK

I agree. I think it would help if you outlined exactly what you would like to see done, that might be really clarifying. I see you're asking for help, but it's hard to tell what it is you want done besides rebuilding the trauma team. Are you looking for manpower? Rules? Roles? Basically, what vision do you have? What is it you are envisioning when you say you want help? I just am unsure.

1 reply
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK OP August 28th, 2018

@EvelyneRose

Just to know what the hell is going on .... hows that for a start? I suggested a meeting and I was pretty much told it was none of my business. Yet I see no one else making any effort to mend this. There are people who have had nothing to do with the trauma sub com saying theyre having discussions with managers and will ‘let us know once something is decided. It was lack of consultation that started this situation initially. There are people still on the trauma sub com leadership who would like to be consulted, but arent being. Theres no leadership from anyone on this site, and no respect for those who still dedicate a lot of time to supporting in that sub community. And in the meantime members are lost, and the support structures are missing such as group support and discussions. And before you say I should discuss these matters in PMs, Ive tried.

1 reply
User Profile: MonBon
MonBon August 29th, 2018

@DeborahUK

Honestly, I would tell you if I myself knew. If I'm being honest, I often know of information after users like you tell me. I'm kept in the loop about things that affect my project generally, but other things... not so much :-/ For example, I didn't even realize there were separate group support and subcommunity trainings until you and others pointed it out to me.

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