OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here

A thousand times I told myself I shouldn't trust others.

Avoiding the pain at all cost, creating a wall full of pain
and fear to keep me afloat.

I wonder if fantasy could had
been better than reality because I didn't believe in it.

I constantly reminded myself I shouldn't give so much to avoid the hurt.

I have been bruised, broken down and it makes me lose
faith to get close to others.

At times I wish circumstances
would have an on/off switch so I can overcome things
easier, but it's only wishful thinking.

Something may start
with a blaze, but end in the coldest tundra.

If my fist could
break down a wall then I would do it.

I want to be happy, but the past I experienced makes it
hard for me.

My soul and heart feel exposed, while my
wound opens and leaves a deep scar I may have forever.

I want to get closer, but it may mean feeling fragile and
vulnerable for things to happen again.

I may learn a lesson
but is it worth it to through the same pain again?

Being appreciated it's like a blessing, but it's a curse when
one is not being appreciated.

Forgiving them may be easier,
but forgetting will be harder.

It would be perfect if we are
appreciated all the time, but we are not on a perfect world.

It's hard to escape those negative feelings, when the only
doors available are pain and hurt at the moment.

I may know what I give, but are others able to see it?

I can only pray they do.

My heart is filled with colors, if only I could display all of them at once.

My existence is worth much more than anything negative I may go through.

Being reborn as a stronger person after my constant battles throughout my life.

I can.

Looking through my past journal entries and came across this from 2 months ago:

All my life I watched it
And believed it as normal
4 years ago I lost all my friends
Backstabbed, called names, hated
3 years ago I was depressed
I cut, bled, hid and ignored it
2 years ago I told a friend
She laughed, joked and messed around with it
1 year ago I admitted it
I cried, self-harmed and died inside
7 months ago I became suicidal again
6 months ago I swore to get better again
5 months ago I began counselling
4 months ago I began starving again
3 months ago I began planning again
2 months ago I tried purging
1 month ago I began experimenting again
2 weeks ago it came crashing down again
1 week ago I used the badge again
5 days ago I broke down again
3 days ago I lost hope again
Yesterday I took out the blades again
Today I almost cried again
Today I used the badge again
Today I ignored my voices again
Today I told someone again
And today she ruined me again
Tired of being a counsellor
And never receiving the same support
Tired of letting people say things
And letting it go
Tired of being the mature one
And accepting when things go wrong
Because I deserve an apology
An explanation
Just like everyone
Im done saying sorry
When I dont feel sorry
Im done holding my tongue
When others cannot do the same
Im done being screwed over
I'm done with your games

HER NAME WAS DARKNESS (original poem)

her name was darkness

she hid behind her fake smile

trying to fit in this huge world

she was full of sadness.

her life was miserable

she tried to take her problems away

by flying away from this huge world

her pain was still not visible.

her dad soon noticed how devastated she was

he hugged her tightly and let her know

she is his only love in this huge world

her pain was now gone and she opened up her walls.

I never knew how lonely I really was,

Until I found myself looking at my phone,

Waiting for a notification,

So please reply to my texts.

I never knew what I was missing,

Until I felt dispair in my heart,

Watching others hold hands,

So please hold mine.

Am I being too greedy?

Am I being too selfish?

I can't eat or sleep without knowing,

So please tell me.

Countless nights I spent awake,

Telling myself the same thing over and over again,

Even when I know I'm not fine,

So please understand me.

I'm not okay,

I'm not alright,

I can't live like this any longer,

So please don't do this to me.

The clock has struck 12,

Today I'll be visiting you,

I'll be there earlier this time,

So please wait for me.

I won't forget to come before it gets dark,

I won't forget to wear your favourite cologne,

I won't forget your chrysanthemums,

So please come back to me.

When I'm counting the stars in the sky one by one,

I look beside me,

I look for you only to be met with an empty space,

So please come back to me.

When it gets cold at night and I can't sleep,

I look beside me,

I look for you only to be greeted by an empty space,

So please come back to me.

When I see you in my dreams,

I look beside me,

I look for you only to be greeted by empty space.

So please come back to me.

When I wake up in the morning,

I look beside me,

I look for you only to be greeted by an empty space,

So please come back to me.

Through all the times I've prayed to god,

I look beside me,

I look for you only to be greeted by an empty space,

Please come back to me.

My heart hearts too much,

I'm a dreadful mess l in the middle of the cold night,

A lonely nobody who misses you too much to live anymore,

So please come back to me.

BLINDED AND BINDED BY: ME Eyes Wide Open, But Forever Blind, Legs To Keep Going, But Feeling Trapped In A Bind, A Mouth To Keep Talking, But Nothing Actually Said, Ears To Keep Listening, But The Sounds Sound Dead, Hands For Holding, But Holding Nothing But Air, A Body Given, But Only A Broken Soul Kept There, Though You Have It All, All The Resources You Need, Availing To Use Them, Is The Choice That You Heed, For If You Believe The Choice Is Not Yours, Then Even With The All The Riches, Your Path Will be Filled With Closed Doors.

Without love this connection is just evil Without someone to hold me I'll let the antipsychotics behold me, or I'll let psychosis mold me. I'm losing myself here. And for what. I can't come back if there's nothing there to be back for. Nothing to distract for. It's all just hate in a compact form. Till its too late and the stress is the fact norm. Distressed and tract torn tacked since I was born. So what if I never make it out of the bladed thorns. Just left to bleed and denounce all. Just left to leave and make pact to sworn denial and bitter pass mourns. Sure there's too much here. Too much with me to see me as anything but defeated deceit. Can't have luck without pieces to speak. Can't compare the fair if there's nothing to see. Blind myself with drugs and let the evil be. Cover up and be warm under the bleeding beat, beat to the finish by grieving sleet. You heard

Out of the Blue - by G

Late Night Ramblings

You made me fall in love with you,


With your sweet words and kindness.


You lulled to sleep the guardians of my heart.


You brought down my walls


With empty promises of forever,


Knowing you werent ready to keep them.


And once I was finally in love,


Once I trusted you with my heart,


You shattered it.


And sure, I understand. 


You explained with such pretty words


The reasonable explanation for breaking me.


But that certainly doesnt make it hurt any less.


So now Im left all alone with my broken heart;


And my memories. 


Funny how we said that wed last forever,


And now all Im left with are memories and

a sweatshirt thats losing its smell of you.

Something I felt compelled to write on a late night...

They cut through the rivers,

And drown in desperation,

Suffocating words,

Like can't and segregation.

The trees fall soundly,

But only in thought,

For no one was there,

To say fighters fought.

Your look of disgust,

Is what brought me here,

I close my eyes and wish,

That you'd all disappear.

No one will listen,

So nobody goes,

Put me in a box,

And don't let me grow.

One moment I'm fine,

And then the pin drops,

I'm still waiting for,

These noises to stop.

I am not stardust
Even though they say I am
I lose poetry all in my mind
And I'm constantly turning my head to find them
I'd burn my house to the ground if it wasn't illegal
To cleanse myself of these horrible memories you gave me
That keep me up at night
Because I am not empty
I feel something
I am a void with mist
Not completely empty
But not stardust either
Being raised as a child took its toll on me in my teenage years and now I'm an adult
I'm scared and I'm not mature enough to handle myself
My music sounds like angry buzzing bees
My songs aren't of any quality
It's funny how I can be so much like a brick wall when I'm ordered to do something
But I'm surprisingly easy to destroy emotionally
Even the toughest things can break
It's all a matter of time now
If you looked in my mind it probably wouldn't make you cry
Probably angry enough to leave if you know me
Probably enough to shrug me off if you don't