The forest was coated with dark shadows cast by the tall cedar trees. The moon glimmered in the sky, with all of its sister stars. They made a silver reflection in the lake, dancing as the water moved. All was still and peaceful. Crickets were chirping and the cicadas singing. An owl hooted from far above, and a flock of crows scanned the forest like watchmen. Next to my foot, out came a hare from its humble burrow. Off the hare went, looking for some berries, running like a little toy car. I lied down in a clearing to watch the stars do their nightly dance around the sky. As I lied down I noticed how wonderful the forest smelled. The cedar trees made the forest smell like home, and the grass like when I used to be small and naive, only thinking about when I would get to play in the grass again. I stood back up and took my long trek back to my not so humble abode, oh how I wish I never had to leave.

[tw sad talk, depression, light murder mention]

s.a.d.

Hello, September
Will you brew me one more cup of tea?
I remember that time you tried to kill me.
Hello, September
Will it be hell today or will it rain?
Hello, September
Keep me safe, September; keep me sane.

Hello, October
When will the sun come back from that long war?
I'll be sober when I get out of this car.
Hello, October
Please remind me what I'm living for.
Hello, October
Oh, October, keep watch by the door.

Goodbye, Ordinary Time; Hello, Advent.
It is shocking to see where the weeks went.
Hello, Advent; Goodbye, Ordinary Time.
Ain't it fun and fine to sublimate to sublime?

Hello, November
Make it rain so hard they cancel school.
Every ember will be drenched and nevermore be cool.
Hello, November
It is darkest just before the end.
Hello, November
If you please, November, hold my hand.

Hello, December
Are these lights supposed to make me glad?
I remember how these months have been so bad.
Hello, December
Months that dragged on are recalled so fast.
Hello, December
Teach me that, December, nothing lasts.

Toxic waste/ Scratched record

It's not easy living in this universe

I feel like I'm in hell, like I've been cursed

The people I trust

Act like I'm a speck of dust

And everyday I'm in so much pain

I can't believe they make me feel this way

Someone help me out

I'm falling now

My demons are killing me inside

I can't even try to hide

Am I doing something wrong?

Did I upset God?

I don't know, but I'm bleeding

My emotions are stuck inside of me

I want to sink in my shadow

I don't want anyone to know

I need comfort but they'll just yell and turn away

Say "No you're just going through a phase."

A phase of confusion, helplessness, and pain

Thats been going on since the start of my days

Where I saw the world and discovered new things

Some were good some were bad

Some helped me discover who I am

But the world isn't good

It isn't bad

It's full of terrible people and ones who try and do the right thing

But it ends up for nothing and in shame

And I live in it

Trying to survive in it

Trying not to be noticed it

What happened to my 'friends'

They want my talking to end

It feels like they want me to leave

I feel like they're talking about me

Only some of them still are the same

Everyone else acts like I'm their little game

They can toy and play

Putting me on display

Ugh. Why do I feel like this

I don't know but I hate it

I just want to leave

I just want to sleep

I can't breathe

I'm in pain

I'm in pain

I'm in pain

I'm a broken record, I keep repeating

The same old days, same old feelings

I'm scratched, so I skip my words that I want to speak

Do they really want to hear them, doesn't matter to me

No matter what I want to think, my mind says the opposite

I'm so sick and tired of all of it.

Fix me

Fix me

Something's that's so unfixable

I'm so despicable

It always "oh poor me"

Why can't I think of someone else and see

That they have it harder, much worse

But I feel like I'm gonna burst

Feel

Feel

That's all I do

That's all I think

What's wrong with me

Nothing

Everything

Something

Maybe

Possibly

Definitely

Everything will be alright

I'll make it through with a fight

I'm toxic waste

People leave me everyday

"Good riddance" they say

Sending me in pain

I'm trapped in a haze

My minds in a daze

They think it's a game I play

It's all about me, I'm the victim

They don't know the life I'm livin

But it's a secret, shh, dont tell them

Or they'll think that you're embellishin

If it's a game, I'm definitely losing

They fly past me, no worries just cruisin

I'm losing my concentration

I feel my mind evaporating

Poof

I'm gone

With the wind, just a forgotten song

About pain and misery

A sad girl who's a tragedy

Special thanks to my supreme overlord for helping with this ╲(｡◕‿◕｡)╱

Fair warning, this is definitely well written or anything

What am I?

There are more of me, than humans.

We came after people, but we will be here long after they're gone.

We are all similar,

made up of a different combination of the same things

but we all have a different purpose.

Some people think of me as dangerous.

I can't paint a picture in your mind

and i can take you to another place

without even moving.

Words

Close ^-^ But not exactly

Books :)

You got it! ^-^

**trigger warning: self harm

Knife to the skin
Just a little deeper
Just a little more red life
Seeping through the gap
To wake me up

Come up with a title for this if you want, I can't think of one

I want to know that these days of torture,
self-loathing,
hiding,
crying,
and stress
will end.
But I can't get it through my head.
How sad.

It's unfortunate that no one understands.
But no one needs to know.
I'll be fine.
I can manage.
... right?

"Maybe I do need help..."

No, I don't.
Why do I think I do?
I'll do it.
I don't care anymore.

"help me,

please..."

Anthem for Disheartened Man

Crawl,

Crawl towards victory.

With the hard black soil of the Earth,

clinging to the flesh of the body.

the weak flesh, the bruised body.

Crawl with thy broken self towards tomorrow.

Tomorrow, the unpromised land of fate.

It is not guaranteed for the likes of you, defeated,

but crawl towards it,

Inch by Inch over bleeding ground.

You must crawl towards victory.

To painful, fateful tomorrow.

We must crawl to victory.

It is the way we deserve.

[Trigger warning: drug abuse, self-harm]

Numb IP 109 pill

The white pills,

IP 109.

Made for back pain

But i have constant pain all over.

You can take up to 4 a day

But i need to take 8.

Im numb,

Sluggish,

Out of consciousness,

No one can know that these pill bring out my true emotions.

"Whats wrong?"

Nothing.

I repeat like a broken record.

But im empty.

I dont even have to cut,

I just take 2 at each meal.

If i eat my meals.

I usually just have a screwdriver in a dark bottle.

Or its sometimes in my coffee

I sure as hell dont know how my gym teacher hasnt noticed.

Or maybe she did?

I dont ------ care.

Its not like ill see her tomorrow,

Or ever,

Again.

expletive deleted by forum mentor Annie

INFINITY

Do you look forward and see an end?
Everyone around you is moving
But you're afraid to take a step.
Do you look back and see no point?
Why you've been in the middle
Of somewhere that leads to nowhere?
The spark of life has been faded,
And you're too tired to carry on.
You're slowly decaying,
You're lost in eternal infinity.

SILENCE!

silence is what I crave,

For silence is what keeps me sane.

Life is filled with noise,

The sounds of rain crashing down.

The feeling of pain,

Masked by a crowd.

From day to day.

From night to night.

I live a life of thrill ,

With hope.

That I will one day silence the caios.

Silence the strife,

Creating greater possibilities for life.

Silence is a thing of curiosity

A crystal clear image

Filled with possibilities.

Silence is how I speak

For in some in ways,

Moments of silence

Say everything.

-SrB

I think one of the very kind things to do, is to try and inspire others by writing a poem on kindness. I have a few poems myself on the topic, I would like to share here. The following are links to one of the poems: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/y-get-ready/

I hope you all enjoy

The day begins

I stretch,

my whole spine cracks

i feel it

its the first thing I've felt in awhile

my lips press to my morning cigarette

as I inhale....

the emotional turmoil I feel inside

it rumbles through me

like blood in my veins

how can I live this way

why can't I just hide away

in my bed

alone

why can't I stop these feelings

will I ever smile again?

MY LOST WING

​There was a time she held me close...

​Just as cozy and soft as a rose.

She made me like a princess feel

​But soon enough she offered a reel.

A wind which was never heard,

Took away my precious bird.

She made some effort to maybe stay,

But there on her back she lay.

She made no sound, and couldn't even hear.

But went away all bright and sheer.

The deeds she performed were evermore pure,

Then why for her, there was no cure?

She couldn't complain, she couldn't whine,

But for my future, she was the best spine.

​Sooner than later, she was gone..

​Taking away the sun of my dawn.

There With THEE she will now sing,

​While I lost my precious wing!

​Mom, I miss you

​

My friend is my worst enemy,

His silver smile glares up at me,

The blood he draws amazes me.

I hide his art on my skin,

Where the fears come crashing in.

I will hold it all in,

until it fills to the brim,

spills over.

I will watch myself falling,

drowning,

choking,

until it pulls me under.

dreamers

6 am in a well-lit room
hours past midnight in moonlit gloom

lines, colors, words unsaid
a glint of silver, a flash of red

with liquid colour she creates
as beauty expands
there is no beauty
in the trembling of his hand

dreams onto paper
nightmares onto skin

she is an artist
he doesn't know where to begin.

Sitting at the window as I see all the clouds passing by. No, I look up to the sky not to see the sun, the clouds, or the moon. I look up, because I hope that I'll find myself up there. The true me, it's hard, it's possibly the biggest fear of human nature. Finding out that we are a creature in this universe, which is within everyone, but also without.

Where did she go?

By: HauntingFeeling00

I've been looking. She disappeared like a shooting star.

Almost a year and I was so close yet so far away. Did she go pursue a dream? A love?

The dark side wanted to hold back but like an unpainted canvas it painted a story.

Her cries of not being good enough, pulled a string at her once warmed heart.

Then one day in summer I got ready for a party and looked in the mirror at my reflection.

A smile graced my once grimaced lips.

"Love is my weakness. For it got rid of the darkness that chased me away"

"One Day"

"ONE DAY", I'll move past this pain. "ONE DAY" I will be able to smile again. "ONE DAY", the sun will shine. "ONE DAY", I'll be myself once more. "ONE DAY", it'll get better. "ONE DAY", I'll actually believe that "ONE DAY" will come.

Night

I survey the eastern horizon
And dream of dawn that ends eternal night
An unvoiced aubade lingers on my tongue
Determined to greet a lacking sun

Protect Her

Can you see her cheek bones
But easier than anyone else's
Without the aid of make up
Can you see her collar bones
Extending all the way out to where they clearly end in her shoulders
Can you see the several hallow spaces beneath
Lining up neatly, curved and fragile
And when her turns around
Can you see the several little bumps
That never seem to end
Back in front can you see
Where her ribs clearly end
And her pelvis begins
Can you see the "v" shaped lines those bones make
Can you see the absence of meat
That should surround her hips
Can you follow her ligaments
To legs that magically support her
And arms that lay limp at her sides
Can you see her knobby knees and knobbyy elbows
Can you see her defined hands
With skeletal fingers
That shouldn't be as useful as they are to her
Can you see her brittle nails
That she must bite come meal time
Can you see this girl
Or is she so skinny she's already disappeared?
-rose

I've been up for days but I don't know the exact amount because I didn't bother to count so I'm sorry to bother you at this late or I suppose early hour but I just got out of the shower and I realized that I love you, your eyes that are true go so deep that it's hard not to seep into them and get memorized or hypnotized it's one of those two, so I'm sorry to wake you from your dreams but for some reason tonight just seems like as good of any to get it all out, I want to cry, I want to shout that I'm tired, I'm oh so tired but you my dear, you will be okay, because even if I'm not here, tomorrow or the day after that, I'll be close by you, so don't feel alone if I am not home, I can still love you from far far away.

Seems like a nice night

Forgiveness is just a tear drop away.

You never know when it will happen.

Until something just happens.

Let it just flow down your face.

Like teardrops waiting to be faced

People need to forgive and they need to be loved

But what sometimes we even need to be healed

Is to forgive those who have done us wrong

To love those that shown no good vibes.

[Trigger Warning: Self-Harm)

I haven't cut for two years but

I remember

how warm slicing feels even though

the blade is always cold,

and I know the pain

gets worse

the further you bury it

underneath your skin.

I sedate my 3 A.M. thoughts

of you

with nicotine and

can still hear you saying,

"This sounds like a pipe dream. You're too good to be true."

You were always a prophet

and we were no exception.

So I smoke and say

"I love you" in the dark

like you can still hear

even though

the only thing connecting us are

the years and miles

that continue to span,

and the bad taste that lingers

isn't from a cigarette.

The smell of tobacco

reminds me of amusement parks

of past childhood summers

that entertained for a day

but later loomed ahead and

made me yearn

for home;

but my parents wanted their money's worth

and I wasn't much.

My mother likes to remind me of

the cost of repairing me,

like I was a vintage muscle car

you wanted to take on freeway joyrides

but gives up on the side of the road

and sits in the garage

so you can regret how much you've spent.

Scorn won't make it run, you should know this by now.

I still hate the man who told me

cutting is attention-seeking,

yet liked to burn his hands

and sought salvation in the form of love

because we both only marred the surface and

there are more nerves in flesh.

Freud's iceberg doesn't scare me,

doesn't make me think something

inside fractured

and will eventually capsize me,

because I know I'm already drowning.

It's the fear that this is just the surface

and life's sadism has more planned.

I thought I could do it

that I could be strong

but you slipped from my grasp

you've moved along

Now I'll lay here forever

and sing you sad songs

now it's my turn for the bullet

you've taken your shot

I just don't know for sure if it's worth losing what I've got

The Lies of a Cape

Day in, day out.
Always the same thoughts,
Always the same feelings,
that I have to mask

Away
from the world,
I hide away.
From behind my mask of deception,
I see the world.
My vision is limited, though, and
nothing is clear,
but I hide away so no one knows

What I truly feel
is
a disaster, a
collision, a mess,
it's nonsense.

Nonsensical,
how I use this cape of pretending
to shield myself from the people

And their views and remarks.
It's tiring, yes, but
so is reality,
and for me it's better to hide

Away from the onslaught of torture,
I assuage myself as best I can,
but nothing seems to work,
and as a result, I panic

In front of blind eyes
which
couldn't care less, to be blunt.
My normally festive-self becomes suddenly
taciturn
And I decide to stay like this,
even though my emotions,

Nebulous as they are, I try to
decipher them for years

With the effort of many,
I waste my energy.
From taciturn to vapid
I become,
but no one seems to care.

And I watch the world behind my mask,
Warmed by my cape,
Never wanting the harsh reality to subside,
Because I'm shielded
by
a shabby mask that turns my vision useless,
and a worn-out cape that people are starting to see through.

But it's okay.
I'll be okay.
As long as I'm hidden
away from the world.

Dear Mother, Father, and Friends.

Some people are not aligned like you are

For example, me.

I am trembling and angry and lost

And alone.

Terrified but held down by small talk and conversations.

I might be Bisexual, mom. and if you can't accept me,

who will?

is something wrong with this baby girl?

Did you change your mind?

Broken crayons still color and

I need your love to be alright

Mommy those sounds you heard at night

They were me talking to myself,

Because I'm too scared to talk to you.

I'm different, mom.

accept me.

Maybe it's selfish, but I look at him and see all he's gone through, and is going through, and I can't help but think - What about me?

I feel guilt just saying it.

The mind is such a personal, private place. Not meant to be shared, at least not completely. So to be haunted by these voices, these shadows that violate the mind - it breaks my heart to see what it's doing to you.

It breaks my heart that I cant fight these monsters for you.

You're eyes are so tired now, so sad.

I heard you whisper, "I want to die."

Don't give up. You cant ever give up. I need you too much.

The pills seem to be working now, and the doctor seems nice. Dont ever think that the medication changes a thing - I could never love you any less.

But it's not over yet, is it? The pills are bittersweet, for as the voices fade away you're left with the realization that there never was anyone whispering through the walls, no cameras, no one watching through the windows.

I can only imagine how hard it must be, to have to accept the fact that it was in your head the whole time, that there never was anyone to blame.

No wonder you're exhausted.

But I'm tired, too. I know you didnt mean those awful things you said, the things you accused me of. I know it wasn't really you.

It still hurts, though, knowing that sometimes I'm not enough to make you smile.

@Erinlee84 this is so amazing, like ASDFGHJKL.

Thanks, there's a few that I had written when my fiance started hearing the voices, especially before he saw a dr and started learning how to cope

You haunted my dreams last night,

Flickering like a dying candle,

Seared into my memory.

I wonder if I ever stain your nightmares

And flood their veins with golden light

Until they shriek and melt into soft dreams.

She was your princess
Small and tender
Meek, mild
Wrapped in shelter and hidden from the world

Behind a knight of vain reflection
Whose armor shines only to his own eyes
And to the rest of the world is threadbare

You believed her pure white
Innocent, without determination
Snuffing a spirit yearning to break free
Fanciful and helpless without your arms

How foolish, this vision
That she cannot hold her own step
On strong, perfect legs
That dance and tremble and hurdle
Over obstacles in her way

Her fire shines
Bright, without hinderance
Without a stifling hand to smother it down
Burning with intensity beyond your wildest dreams
Or capabilities

She was your princess
And now
She's my queen

I fear that our love wont last

that it wil be the thing from the past.

I fear you will find someone knew

Having a fear of loosing you

My fear wont go away

and yet I forever stay!

@pureatheart25 relate so much.

There's a new voice now, that whispers in your ear - one that has no face.

How do I defend myself against lies I cannot hear?

How does one fight a shadow?

The sleepless nights - Im so tired, but Ill stay strong for you.

If holding you in my arms could keep you safe, please know I'd hold you like this forever.

I see the pain flash across your face.. Each time I see it haunt your eyes, I feel it cutting deep, burning into my heart.

The urge to scream like a child at the unfairness of it all is overwhelming, as though a part of me thinks my screams could drown out the voices that haunt you

instead I sit and cry

silently, desperately praying for your world to go quiet - for you to find your way back to me

It hurts to see you hurt

Never forget that you're never alone - it wouldnt matter if you were about to walk through hell on earth, I'll hold your hand and walk beside you every step of the way

Your smile gives me hope, just as it always has, and I'll find a way to remind you just how much you mean to me

I love you