Conquering your goals: Setting the right goals!
Hi everyone!
I hope this message finds you well. We’re excited to kick off our series with an important topic: setting the right goals.
Often, we become so fixated on achieving certain goals that we forget to ask if they’re truly worth pursuing. I recently saw a social media post that resonated with me: “Just because something is hard to achieve doesn’t mean it’s worth having.” This got me thinking—sometimes we chase after goals simply because they’re challenging, assuming that difficulty equates to value. But is that always the case?
Many of us find ourselves striving for goals that might not be right for us for several reasons:
- Social Pressure: You might feel the urge to achieve something because others around you are doing it. For instance, you might desire a particular car just because your trendy cousin has one.
- Seeking External Validation: We often pursue goals to gain approval from others or to enhance our self-worth. For example, people sometimes go through drastic changes in appearance or lifestyle to be admired or accepted.
- Uncertainty About What You Want: If you’re unsure of your own desires or values, you might end up chasing whatever seems popular or desirable at the moment.
- Insecurities: Sometimes, we set goals to address personal insecurities or boost our self-esteem. For instance, buying designer clothes might be an attempt to feel more valuable or worthy.
It’s completely normal to care about others' opinions, want to be liked, or struggle with insecurities. The problem arises when we pursue goals just to escape these feelings without a deeper purpose. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound instead of addressing the root cause.
To avoid chasing the wrong goals, let’s start by reflecting on what truly matters to us. Begin by considering your core values and evaluating whether your goals align with them.
Here are some common core values to consider:
- Integrity: Adhering to strong moral and ethical principles. (e.g., Honesty, trustworthiness, transparency)
- Responsibility: Taking accountability for your actions and duties. (e.g., Dependability, reliability, commitment)
- Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for others’ well-being. (e.g., Kindness, supportiveness, generosity)
- Justice: Advocating for fairness and equality. (e.g., Fairness, equality, impartiality)
- Family: Prioritizing relationships and responsibilities within your family. (e.g., Loyalty, nurturing, support)
- Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being. (e.g., Wellness, balance, self-care)
❗If you don't know what values matter to you. Consider this activity!
Tasks to complete (You are required to complete the tasks if you aim to get the certificate associated with the series)
Please complete both
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Further Reading
This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here.
@Hope
- Integrity: Adhering to strong moral and ethical principles. (e.g., Honesty, trustworthiness, transparency)
- Responsibility: Taking accountability for your actions and duties. (e.g., Dependability, reliability, commitment)
- Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for others’ well-being. (e.g., Kindness, supportiveness, generosity)
- Justice: Advocating for fairness and equality. (e.g., Fairness, equality, impartiality)
- Family: Prioritizing relationships and responsibilities within your family. (e.g., Loyalty, nurturing, support)
- Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being. (e.g., Wellness, balance, self-care)
- Integrity, Family, Health and Responsability
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? --- I find it hard to answer this question, not sure what my life would look like. But for sure a life filled with love and happiness. Just really getting in touch again with who I really am, feeling strong and in my own personal power
@Hope
1. Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
For me my biggest values are in responsibility and family. I am in college and I am so close to finally getting my degree I know that if I keep my nose to the grindstone and not give up then I accomplish anything I set my mind to. And my biggest motivating factor in this is my family. We are below poverty line and getting my degree and a career would multiply our income astronomically. I want to give my kid a better life than the one I had growing up so i dont give up. With all of that said though... does it align with the life I truly desire? My knee jerk reaction is yes of course! But I have been so burnt out from school, work and childcare that a lot of my old coping mechanisms are staring to rear their ugly head. I've gotten paranoid and I worry my relationship has become more of a cost sunk fallacy than something i truly want. So I'm here to explore what my goals and wants truly are, and to just be honest with myself.
2. Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
Gosh if I finally graduate and get a good job my life would completely change. I wouldn't have to clean up after roomates anymore! It would just be my wife and kid and me and we could indulge in movie nights and craft parties without disturbing the house. My wife and I would be in couples counseling and have time to just relax with each other, we could fix a lot of the stress that poverty brings. I could find a good psychologist who doesn't try and just dope me up with what's convenient and cheap. One who listens to my symptoms and helps me find a medication that works. There is so much that would change just by having more disposable income.
I am sowing the seeds for this future, but I have really fallen down this past year. I hope to find my footing again and sprint over this last big part of my 5 year goal plan.
@Hope
Commenting to remember
@TU100OT
Responding to remind!
@Hope
Continuing this to reminisce 😂
Kidding thank you for reminding :P
@Hope
1. I struggled with this. Being a perfectionist who has tried to be everything to everyone, I just see all of these things as important. But I'm going to go with integrity. Because a goal I have is to be more true to myself.
2. I would be loved and accepted as myself. I would respect my own boundaries and be able to protect them. I would be able to voice my opinion without being afraid. I would have great secure relationships with friends and family because we would all respect each other.
1. Integrity, responsibility, family, compassion, and health are my closest values in one way or another. I think my current goals are in line with my values. Sometimes my individual activities don’t end up supporting my goals or values, because I feel I have to help other people with their goals and mine get temporarily pushed to the side.
The goal I’m focusing on most right now is paying off remaining debts like my mortgage and a loan I took out for home improvements. So that probably aligns with Responsibility.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
It's admirable how you balance helping others with your own responsibilities. Focusing on debt repayment is a strong step toward financial freedom.
It seems like you may benefit from adding boundaries as a core value so that you can work more on your own goals.
I like that imagery of being debt-free.
@Hope
1. Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
I honestly resonate with all the core values listed in the post. I am to be honest with myself and others. I am responsible by only promising what I know I can complete. I am there for others in both their good times and bad. I do my best to treat everyone with respect. Family means the world to me and I am always seeking to better my health. Some of my goals now are more for my personal interest than the life I truly desire. I have an idea of that life, but I know it will take some time to achieve. Going towards that is a work in progress.
2. Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
Achieving the goal of having the life I truly desire would make me feel thrilled and peaceful. I think it would make it easier to be the best version of myself. I certainly would want to share the joy of this accomplishment with others.
@Hope
@Hope
I have difficulty determining Values. There are some that are not important to me but of those that are they all seem to be of the same significance. I took an online test that placed Creativity as my highest value. This is ironic since I have not been able to be creative for several years now. This speaks poorly of me that it not only ranks above moral imperatives like Honesty. It ranks far above them.
With Creativity being my value my goal is to regain the ability to go into my flow state. This is something I once could do without effort. I can’t envision my how this would effect my future but this is something I miss greatly.
@Gettingbettertoday Hey you did really awesome figuring this out!
@Gettingbettertoday
Kudos for trying!
Sometimes its not clear what we value until we are told otherwise. It seems like you value honesty more than creativity
@Hope
My problem is values don't drive me forward. They are only there as road blocks to stop me from doing things i shouldn't do like stealing or murder.
This was harder than I imagined it would be and needed some thought
I've chosen Curiosity Health and Growth
I'm trying to figure out who I am and what I want out of life. I'm on a journey of self discovery and development
I think that by knowing myself better I'll be able to make better choices and be more confident in the decisions I make. Knowing myself better will hopefully guide me to a life I dream of having filled with love and laughter and acceptance. To feel I have a purpose. To feel I belong. To find happiness and peace
one value that value is compassion, I want to be a person full of love kindness support and generosity
one goal I have had is to show more compassion to others, I can do this by talking to people I normally wouldn't talk to and have different experiences than I do
when I met. these goals I find myself more grounded, having a more clear perspective and feel more connected to those around me. I am able to help those I met in life, cups, ;work and school being a positive person in others life.