Conquering your goals: Setting the right goals!
Hi everyone!
I hope this message finds you well. We’re excited to kick off our series with an important topic: setting the right goals.
Often, we become so fixated on achieving certain goals that we forget to ask if they’re truly worth pursuing. I recently saw a social media post that resonated with me: “Just because something is hard to achieve doesn’t mean it’s worth having.” This got me thinking—sometimes we chase after goals simply because they’re challenging, assuming that difficulty equates to value. But is that always the case?
Many of us find ourselves striving for goals that might not be right for us for several reasons:
- Social Pressure: You might feel the urge to achieve something because others around you are doing it. For instance, you might desire a particular car just because your trendy cousin has one.
- Seeking External Validation: We often pursue goals to gain approval from others or to enhance our self-worth. For example, people sometimes go through drastic changes in appearance or lifestyle to be admired or accepted.
- Uncertainty About What You Want: If you’re unsure of your own desires or values, you might end up chasing whatever seems popular or desirable at the moment.
- Insecurities: Sometimes, we set goals to address personal insecurities or boost our self-esteem. For instance, buying designer clothes might be an attempt to feel more valuable or worthy.
It’s completely normal to care about others' opinions, want to be liked, or struggle with insecurities. The problem arises when we pursue goals just to escape these feelings without a deeper purpose. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound instead of addressing the root cause.
To avoid chasing the wrong goals, let’s start by reflecting on what truly matters to us. Begin by considering your core values and evaluating whether your goals align with them.
Here are some common core values to consider:
- Integrity: Adhering to strong moral and ethical principles. (e.g., Honesty, trustworthiness, transparency)
- Responsibility: Taking accountability for your actions and duties. (e.g., Dependability, reliability, commitment)
- Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for others’ well-being. (e.g., Kindness, supportiveness, generosity)
- Justice: Advocating for fairness and equality. (e.g., Fairness, equality, impartiality)
- Family: Prioritizing relationships and responsibilities within your family. (e.g., Loyalty, nurturing, support)
- Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being. (e.g., Wellness, balance, self-care)
❗If you don't know what values matter to you. Consider this activity!
Tasks to complete (You are required to complete the tasks if you aim to get the certificate associated with the series)
Please complete both
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Further Reading
This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here.
@Hope
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
My core values are mainly integrity, responsibility, compassion, and health. My goals definitely do align with the life i truly desire, one mainly focused on peacefulness and health. - Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
My life looks very peaceful. I focus on my health a lot more and take care of myself while maintaining a healthy relationship with my partner and balance work and personal life well.
@Hope
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.Answer: A core value that resonates with me most is health. My goals are mostly improving my mental and physical health so that I am able to simultaneously achieve other areas in my life.
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details) Answer: Life looks much better now. There will be obstacles. But it is important that we take every obstacle as a learning opportunity. Life is filled with lots of ups and downs.
Hi all, I'm new here at 7Cups. I found this Group and would like to participate. Doing the previous values exercise was helpful and brought me some insight. It seems to me that there are some values "core values" that tend to pretty much stay intact and with us through the years. And then there are other values that get moderated as we journey through life. At one time, for example, maybe a core value like Collaboration was "core" but after a few years, Freedom became more important for a variety of reasons. It got me thinking. :)
For me, the core values that resonate are: Courage, Freedom and Resilience.
The goal that I have in mind is work that is fulfilling and brings meaning. And as I imagine having that work, I imagine, I think, a quote from Karl Barth. About finding meaningful work. Goes something like, "Where the world's great need and where your talents intersect with it; that is where you will find meaningful, fulfilling work/career." Something like that. My paraphrase of my memory. Courage to take the risk of finding out what that is. Freedom to do it and Resilience to keep going even when you're the only one that can see it (the goal) as being real.
I recently lost my job and find myself adrift as I look for a new one. A big part of my identity was wrapped up in that job and it feels like a part of me has been...nullified. Rejected. I don't like feeling just adrift on the waters so having some goals, defining them is important to me right now. Thank you so much for putting this group together. I appreciate it. Thank you everyone.
@Hope I have achieved the task of seperating my core goals now what?
@Hope
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here. I choose compassion because I am at ease showing empathy and listening to others and let them know their not alone. I am also learning to be self compassionate to myself because if I cant have compassion then it is not easy to be compassionate to others
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
The core values that resonate with me are creativity, integrity, honesty, adaptability and accountability the most.
I think these core values align with my current life. I feel I am on a path of self discovery where different experiences are showing me a different side of myself that I could truly value. These are some base core values that I want to adhere to help the way I want to live. I also truly want to explore other ways that might be better in the future.
My life looks better than I could ever imagined. After going through all those mixed emotions about it. My integrity, honesty and accountability made me a fearless, grounded and strong personality. I never regretted making a decision even if it was a bad one. My creativity and adaptability made my work life and relationships more beautiful, flexible and enjoyable. Life was not boring, maybe sometimes, but I was quick enough to find ways to make it enjoyable. All these core values helped me as a person I always wanted to see myself.
@Hope
I guess family, justice, compassion and integrity.
Maybe I am not there as yet but I have these in mind
@Hope
I guess if I achieved that goal life would be alot warmer, eaceful and fulfilling with less anxiety and worry
@Hope
Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
I think out of what's listed here, responsibility, compassion and health resonate with me the most, but I'm not very sure. Also, I cannot tell if my goals align with the life I truly desire because I don't know what I really desire. But I do know that for right now I just gotta focus on doing the things I must do, and that's studying properly, truly understanding what I study, and doing well in school. I want to stay on top of schoolwork. And I want to be helping people around me as much as I can.
Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
I wouldn't be so stressed out all the time about how I'm lagging behind with schoolwork and how I have lots to do. I'd be doing my work on time and not staying up late the night before the submission to do my work. I'd be studying on a regular basis and not need to stress too much before exams. I'd understand the things being taught in school and not feel lost. And if I study well, I'll be able to remember all or at least most of what I study. And by helping others, I'd feel needed on earth and I'd feel useful, it's hard to keep going just like that, you know.
