Conquering your goals: Setting the right goals!
Hi everyone!
I hope this message finds you well. We’re excited to kick off our series with an important topic: setting the right goals.
Often, we become so fixated on achieving certain goals that we forget to ask if they’re truly worth pursuing. I recently saw a social media post that resonated with me: “Just because something is hard to achieve doesn’t mean it’s worth having.” This got me thinking—sometimes we chase after goals simply because they’re challenging, assuming that difficulty equates to value. But is that always the case?
Many of us find ourselves striving for goals that might not be right for us for several reasons:
- Social Pressure: You might feel the urge to achieve something because others around you are doing it. For instance, you might desire a particular car just because your trendy cousin has one.
- Seeking External Validation: We often pursue goals to gain approval from others or to enhance our self-worth. For example, people sometimes go through drastic changes in appearance or lifestyle to be admired or accepted.
- Uncertainty About What You Want: If you’re unsure of your own desires or values, you might end up chasing whatever seems popular or desirable at the moment.
- Insecurities: Sometimes, we set goals to address personal insecurities or boost our self-esteem. For instance, buying designer clothes might be an attempt to feel more valuable or worthy.
It’s completely normal to care about others' opinions, want to be liked, or struggle with insecurities. The problem arises when we pursue goals just to escape these feelings without a deeper purpose. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound instead of addressing the root cause.
To avoid chasing the wrong goals, let’s start by reflecting on what truly matters to us. Begin by considering your core values and evaluating whether your goals align with them.
Here are some common core values to consider:
- Integrity: Adhering to strong moral and ethical principles. (e.g., Honesty, trustworthiness, transparency)
- Responsibility: Taking accountability for your actions and duties. (e.g., Dependability, reliability, commitment)
- Compassion: Showing empathy and concern for others’ well-being. (e.g., Kindness, supportiveness, generosity)
- Justice: Advocating for fairness and equality. (e.g., Fairness, equality, impartiality)
- Family: Prioritizing relationships and responsibilities within your family. (e.g., Loyalty, nurturing, support)
- Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being. (e.g., Wellness, balance, self-care)
❗If you don't know what values matter to you. Consider this activity!
Tasks to complete (You are required to complete the tasks if you aim to get the certificate associated with the series)
Please complete both
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Further Reading
This post is part of the Conquering Your Goals Series. Check out all the posts here.
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@Hope
The core value that resonates with me the most is Family. If I achieve my goals with this value in mind, my life would be filled with genuine connections and support and maybe less mental health problems and a free, Happy life.
Picture this: I wake up in a home where my family is always there for me. Mornings start with everyone gathered around for breakfast, sharing laughs and stories. I’m able to balance schoolwork and hobbies with quality family time, making sure that even during busy days, we stay close.
After school, I might help out with chores, spend time chatting with my siblings, or join in family activities. Weekends are for fun outings or just hanging out together, maybe watching movies or playing games. We make sure to have family dinners where we catch up on each other’s lives.
In this life, every goal I achieve helps me stay connected with my family. The love and support we share make all the hard work worth it, creating a happy and supportive home where we all thrive together.
@Gargi07
It sounds like you have a beautiful vision for your life centered around family. The idea of waking up in a supportive home where everyone gathers for breakfast and shares stories is so heartwarming. Family is an underrated core value!
@Hope
"Family is supposed to be our safe place. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache."
@Hope There are so many values I find important and many of them resonate with me. However, because of the mood I am in now, I am going to have to pick responsibility. With that as my common core value, I accept 100% responsibility for my actions and decisions I have made in my life. I hold my own self accountable and do not use life circumstances and others as a crutch for why I didn't do this or that. I have not reached my ultimate goal in life yet, but I will get there.
@YourCaringConfidant
Owning your actions and decisions shows a lot of self-awareness and strength. It's great that you're not letting circumstances be an excuse. Well done!
@Hope Family and health. when I achieve this goal, I will be loved, happy and content!
@Maslow
It is great that you know what you want but it may not be ideal to wait for a certain milestone in life to be happy. Perhaps you can reflect more on how you can find happiness each day while you work towards your goal. This post maybe of an interest to you.
@Hope Thank you for the advice
@Hope
Maybe Integrity, responsibility, curiosity, innovation, family, service and compassion. I am not able to define a particular goal in life as it might change over a period of time and I have so many goals each for each phase of life. 50% of my current goals are in line with my desires, while the other 50% may be influenced by uncertainty. Sometimes we have to act according to the situation and end up choosing goals that might be different from our ideal life goals.
Waking up early morning, planning the day and reading, doing work and learning a course or about something interesting. Spending quality time with my family and head to my workplace after yoga and meditation. There, I remain committed to continuous learning and doing my best in every possible way. Brainstorming and problem solving with relevant and effective methods. After a few years of dedicated service and achieving a stable income, I will move to pursue my long-held dreams. At the end of the day, dinner with my family, talk, have a great time and then sleep.
@WeEarth
Your daily routine seems fulfilling, combining personal growth, family time, and professional commitment. It seems like you value family and health greatly!
@Hope
Maybe, thank you for encouraging me! I was wondering if we have any previous series or content related to practicality in life. Anyway, looking forward to the coming posts 😊
@WeEarth
Not that I am aware of. Can you elaborate on that a bit more?
@Hope
Practicality in life, we should consider to what extent we should be practical. Especially when goal setting and decision making, we sometimes tend to be more practical and in terms of realistic expectations, we veer away from taking risks or towards risks. So, perfect balance is needed right. Being too practical might limit opportunities and growth, while taking too many risks without practical considerations can lead to instability. Practicality is a subjective topic and may vary from person to person. 🤔
@WeEarth
That is a fascinating post title. I can't recall a post on it but it has potential. Would you like to take the lead on writing a post on this topic?
@Hope
Okay, Thank you for encouraging me.😀💓 I will think about that. Is there any support I should expect from you if I make a post?
@WeEarth
You can PM me if you need any help/support! I can help finalize the draft if you like
@Hope
Sure, thank you so much 💗 I would appreciate your support😊
@Hope
I don't see any links in the text. Is this the entirety of the instructions or is there more to come?
@Gettingbettertoday
Good catch. The resource did not link. I have added that to the main post now.
@Hope
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here. I resemble compassion. I also want to help others before helping myself.
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details) my picture looks like this
@pamharley003
I still don't understand.
Are we to pretend that we have a goal and that we have met this goal? Then we write about how we imagine completing the goal will be like.
or are we to set a goal, complete it, and them write about it?
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
It does not make it any easier but at least I understand the exercise.
Now to find a value :(
@Gettingbettertoday I’m glad it helped some. I agree this is a really difficult exercise. I think it makes us consider things about ourselves that maybe we tend to push aside because of depression and whatnot. I don’t think about my values or goals much because I think I’m not worthwhile enough, I don’t have the energy or lost interest in the things I used to like, or I feel too busy with other things society tells me are more important.
@pamharley003
Thank you for sharing. However I am not able to drive a goal from your answer. What is a goal you are working towards and what would it feel to get there?
Hi everyone. How ru all? I like this and setting goals helped and I just a click away.Xx
Thanks all staff and team and looking g after us all.
I try help all most can with goals and help with each other.
What if 7 cups tea site was not here we wouldn't get help.
If need me I be here for all.x
Big hug 🫂 🤗 ❤️ 💖
@purpleSea7109
I am glad you are liking it here! Would you like to take part in the series and respond to these questions after reading this post.
Please complete both
- Identify which core values resonate with you most and reflect on whether your goals align with the life you truly desire. You can choose values not listed here.
- Say you have achieved this goal. What does your life look like now? Using your words, paint a vivid picture of it. Take us there! Be as specific as possible (without giving personal details)
My core value at the moment would be family. My family is spread across the world and there are a couple of relationships which I need to work on to get us back on track. I feel like we don't really know each other any more because we've been so far away for so long.
When my goal is achieved, we will have had honest conversations and spoken and listened to understand where each of us was coming from which caused us to go off-track. We will also have reconnected to get to a space where we can really get to know each other as we are now, and move forward with that knowledge and understanding.
@frostyPink6987
Family is such an important value, especially when distance has made things challenging. It's great that you're committed to working on those relationships. I like that imagery of how things will look once you have achieved this!
@Hope
My core values are honesty, kindness, good humour and trustworthiness. They could always align more with my goals of course. They just haven't yet because it's not time.
I'm going to be doing what I want without anyone picking me apart. I'll be healthy, wealthy and happy and living a successful life with the car, designer clothes, etc.. Responsible freedom. I'll no longer be in the storm just because I'm resilient and can handle it.
@communicativePond1728
That part about not having to be resilient is strong! I hope you can find some calm and peace soon!
@Hope I will.
@Hope
I think my core values would fall under commitment, and relationship category.
If I want to picture it, it would be as i be committed to my studies as well as my part time job, and take care and be careful about my relationship with friends, and try to protect them and keep them around.
@daydreammemories
It sounds like you yearn to be more consistent in your commitments. Sounds like all good values
