Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
If I find out that i did not get the role that i desired, i would take a step back and tell myself that its Okay to not get what we wished for sometimes, this can be thought of as a new path opening. After that I would politely ask from the leader in that position to give me extensive criticism on how to do better next time and work on the points they will highlight to me and apply again next !!
If I do not get a role I apply for, I will do the following things
- Take time off and engage in self-care
- Understand that all are not ready at the same time
- Look for signs of burnout
- Talk to peer support
- Not complain
What would I ask?
- Ask the person in charge of the role for constructive feedback
@DonaldDraper
Very well done!
@DonaldDraper those are great ways to maintain a confident attitude and keep healthy and most effective in the listener role.
@DonaldDraper
I love the emphasis on getting constructive feedback not just feedback. It shows you really want to learn! 🙂
@Heather225
I'd be understanding about it and respect the fact I didn't get the role, and I'd say that it is okay because I shouldn't depend my life on getting a specific role, and I'd ask the leader who informed me what was the reason I didn't get the role, grow by it and ask if I could ever resubmit to try and get that role.
@kateaala
I agree, there's always room for growth, and the world isn't going to end because someone else beat you to it, just always remember that!
@kateaala
I agree, your life should not depend on a certain role! I think that is an amazing thought!
if I didn’t get a role, I would like to get feedback so I could grow in the future.
Question : If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Answer : I've been dreaming of a particar role since long, because I want to serve in that role. But then I also understand that there are various other criteria for each role which the admins may not deem fit for me. I will remain positive when a leader informs me that I have been selected for a different role. I'd like to tell the leaders to help me find a mentor who would guide me on how to improve and retry for the role. If there is nothing to improve, the role could still have been offered to someone else for a different reason. So I'll try to understand that reason at first from the leader and accordingly start working on my progress further.
@peacefulWarrior10
Seeing that roles have criteria and that you (or anybody) might simply not be a fit for the role shows confidence!
@amiablePeace77
Thanks Peace! <3
@peacefulWarrior10
I like that you haven't given up and continue to work towards your goal. Well done!
@KindnessMatters2020
Thank you so much! <3
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Talk to the leader of the role that I applied for and get some input on what I can/need to do in order to get the role next time.
I would thank the leader for taking the time to review my application and ask them in what other fields I might be more suitable to work in if I could not reapply at a different time.
@amiablePeace77
Well said!
@amiablePeace77
It's great you would thank the leader, we really need to keep reminding them of the amazing work they do! 🙂
@amiablePeace77
I like your response! Asking guidance on finding out a right path that fits us better could really help us to shine on things we're working for 
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
If I found out that I was not given a role, I would definitely be a bit upset, but I would try not to take it personally, and ask the leader for feedback. I would also take out some time for self-care!
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would say: “Thank you for letting me know. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some feedback, and suggest some tips to improve.”
@NorahListens THat's a great way to respond!
1. Talk to the leader of the program and see what you can improve on, take some time for yourself and feel better.
2. Thank you so much for taking the time to review my application. I understand that I have areas for improvement and would appreciate it if you can offer some pointers in regards to that!
@SophieWX That's a great message you would send to a leader!
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I should ask for feedback and not be hurt by it. Selcare is a great idea after bad news. I should also not feel like it's a personal failure, people are ready at different times.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would ask for feedback to learn more on how I can do better next time
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I’d definitely be sad, but the ones who have been judging all this while are better informed and know where we might better fit into. So I’ll accept the role given and parallely work on the role which I wanted.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I’d ask for the feedback, why they felt I wasn’t fit for the role which I chose and why they feel I’m better suitable for this role. I’ll work on the shortcomes and will only come back as a better person.
@YoungMonastic007
Good point, to ask the reasoning of not getting it.
