Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
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Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
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@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
When I was on boarding in my high school, I was frequently involved in a conflict resolution situation when my friends fought. My strategy of resolving the conflict was first having a 1-1 talk individually with each person and having a group discussion to clarify the facts of the situation and resolve the misunderstandings. The key to this was to encourage as much interaction as possible between the people in conflict and creating a comfortable environment where people feel safe to talk honestly.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
One tip is to create an environment where the people in conflict can feel like they can be honest in the discussion. I need to gurantee them the fact that the discussion done during the conflict-resolution only stays within the people involved in the conflict and not anything else. It is important to emphasize to everyone in the resolution situation to be aware that everything must be confidential in order to have an hoest discussion.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have been in situations where I do my best to difuse a situation the best I can. I am not known to handle conflicts well so sometimes I just get quiet so there is no further problems.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
A good thing is to listen to who is talking completely before answering. Think before words are spoken so there is no hardship or conflicts addressed
I don't recall myself being in the middle or either side of conflict. But thinking about it, I think a good tip would be to listen more than speaking so that you can fully understand the situation and give the best middle ground. Trying to speak most of the time will make you appear to be forceful and certainly make at least one side feel undervalued in the conversation. This can potentially hurt your relationship with them as well.
@herealways27
that's a good idea, I agree that listening more would help, it requires patience though!
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Just recently actually, I still made a few mistakes such as instead of finding common ground, I stand my ground and became defensive. In the end, I reflect upon the situation a day after the conflict and apologized the other person for my defensiveness. Messaging also can create a lot of misunderstanding, so it can be hard sometimes to read a message as how it was intented.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution
I think the post has covered up most points.
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, of course! Growing up in a family of 4 siblings meant there was always one argument or the other! When it comes to my older brother, we usually sort it out by giving each other space and listening patiently to both sides of the argument. I try my best not to be too defensive. If it's with my younger sister, I kinda let her throw the tantrum since she's so young..Afterwards, I hug her and forgive everything.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I suppose teamwork in finding an eventual solution might be a good idea!
@cuteeeezombieeee I like how you make up with your younger sister. You seem like a good sibling.
@cuteeeezombieeee
I genuinly loved your approach and its pretty insightful
Thanks for sharing
@cuteeeezombieeee
Yes!!! I like to see that teamwork attitude!!!
@cuteeeezombieeee Sweet to read, and liked your idea of teamwork.
@cuteeeezombieeee You really are a good sibling. Great job !!
@cuteeeezombieeee I love your answer. It is important sometimes to let others cool off and teamwork can resolve things a lot of times.
@cuteeeezombieeee
I agree, living with such a big family brings in conflict every other day and that's a great tip you have mentioned.
@Heather225
I have had experience with conflict resolution, especially while working within clubs at school. I try to find a common ground, express my own opinions calmly and try and reach a mutual consensus.
Another tip could be to try and be empathetic and open to properly understand the other person’s point.
@Readylistener Empathy is definitely a good quality to have when conflict resolving.
@Readylistener Those are great ways to approach conflict. Thanks for sharing.
@Readylistener I think it is really important to keep an open mind in these situations. We often times only see one side of things but in reality the other side could have a completely different perspective.
@Readylistener
I agree, finding a common ground and putting forward the opinions are a good way resolving a conflict.
1) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
A: Conflict means a mental struggle arising from opposing demands or impulses. And resolution means the act of resolving or determining upon a course of action, method, procedure, etc. the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose. a settlement of a problem, controversy, etc. Situation means the state of affairs, combination of circumstances. Under these definition, I have been in these situations for many times, and it was hard to solve it when I was young. For now, I am only 33 years old.
@loveagape
Yes. Looking at situations is very important.
@loveagape I think experience is the best teacher.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
A: I think that the 7 cups of tea have put it well in words, to tell the leader how to solve conflict-resolution; I am thankful for the training.
@loveagape I am thankful for the guide too.
Q1. Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Considering in 7cups platform
Yes I had been few times in conflict resolution situation. Where their was conflict happening and try to resolve it.
I listened and validate both the person involved in conflict. Requested to accept and respect the difference of opinion as being adult.
Making them remind that what is important for that moment. To support, share and cooperate each other.
In general I had been often to that place and would only involved if they both agree as I would suggest to talk with each other honestly and politely when they are in calm mind. Take break when conflict happen so they can calm and think wisely whether the conflict was necessary or not.
2.) Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Reminding people what is important the relationship.. the goal,, friendship.. being together to face issue.. at that present scenario.
Definitely listening and being neutral and being composed.
Remembering people are from different culture and background. We don’t know what is going in their life.
@blindHeart12
Yes. Facing conflict is necessary in order to resolve it. Having a open mind of all perspectives helps a lot.
@blindHeart12 Wise words. Calmness and consideration can help a lot in seeing things clearly and resolving conflicts.
@Fristo
Thank you Fristo for agree with t.
@blindHeart12 It really is so vital that we remember that we don't know what others are going through. We only see so many aspects of a person's life so we never see 100% of someone's life.
@blindHeart12
Well-written, Heart!
1. Yes. At my workplace, I often come across these problems. We usually sit and and talk about it. Talking face to face about it is very helpful as you are able to understand other person's perspective and why they did what they did, or why their opinion is different from yours. It helps in resolving the conflict in a peaceful and easy manner. 2. I think finding the root cause of conflict is really helpful. It helps in understanding various aspects of how the other person thinks. Also, learning to listen to other people can be helpful.