Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
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Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
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@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Not very often ,but yes I've been there too.
My first instinct is to not drag the topic , and hear out the other person's view first , then share what I felt (only if there's need ) I try not to engage much but just a healthy conversation to curb any animosity and awkwardness , just so we know that we may not agree with each other, but we do respect different opinions.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
I agree with all the tips mentioned for conflict resolution. I just believe what helps is to take a moment to calm down, avoid saying anything when not thinking properly or in the heat of the moment and while resolving, a good amount of patience is needed.
@Heather225
I have been involved in a conflict resolution situation as this pertained to miscommunication. We resolved this by mediating the situation and understanding one another.
Sometimes even trying to handle a conflict resolution situation in a healthy way doesn’t always work. We just need to be professional and respectful.
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have been in a conflict with another person, we resolved it by talking it out. We both shared how we felt about the conflict and what both of our perceptions of the conflict was like. This helped to resolve it.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Finding out what the conflict is about can help to resolve the conflict in a healthy way. If you don't know why the conflict happened, then you can start to resolve it by listening to one another. If you do know why the conflict happened, you can work to finding out the conflict in more depth to get a better understanding as sometimes people do start conflict for no apparent reason
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
No but I have helped a couple people because they had all the same interests and the same commutativity...
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Yes, Listen and Talk, Always listen more than talk, Only talk productively
1. I usually get both parties involved together so they can mutually work on what went wrong and admit their shortcomings 2. My tip for conflict resolution is that its very important to listen and try to put yourself on the persons shoes
@Heather225
1. Yeah, since I am a school-going student and participation in programs is a necessity, we have to find mutual grounds more often. Therefore, my work as a student also involves resolving conflicts that occur due to misunderstanding. I have solved conflicts in the past by listening to everyone's viewpoint, telling them mine, and never imposing my plans on anyone in case they don't like it.
2. A tip would be to be active and concentrated on what the other person is trying to say since having the right knowledge to proceed further and de-escalate conflicts is important. We should also try to explain our viewpoints in an articulate manner and respect the conclusion made.
@Heather225
1. yes, I've been there, last time I made both sides speak and they reached their natural conclussion!
2. I would say not to show any bias, like a verification mock chat ´dont tell the person if they've passed`but instead a `don't say anything that could make them thing you're favoring any of the sides`if it maeks sense
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes I have done it qite a few times my goal is let the sides talk and I just threw some Random ice breakers do divert the topic
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Probably listen more talk less try to control your emotions and don't let it escalate to a point where it's no longer solvable
@Heather225
Considering in 7cups platform
Yes I had been few times in conflict resolution situation. Where their was conflict happening and try to resolve it.
I listened and validate both the person involved in conflict. Requested to accept and respect the difference of opinion as being adult.
Making them remind that what is important for that moment. To support, share and cooperate each other.
In general I had been often to that place and would only involved if they both agree as I would suggest to talk with each other honestly and politely when they are in calm mind. Take break when conflict happen so they can calm and think wisely whether the conflict was necessary or not.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Reminding people what is important the relationship.. the goal,, friendship.. being together to face issue.. at that present scenario.
Definitely listening and being neutral and being composed.
Remembering people are from different culture and background. We don’t know what is going in their life.
@Heather225
Considering in 7cups platform
Yes I had been few times in conflict resolution situation. Where their was conflict happening and try to resolve it.
I listened and validate both the person involved in conflict. Requested to accept and respect the difference of opinion as being adult.
Making them remind that what is important for that moment. To support, share and cooperate each other.
In general I had been often to that place and would only involved if they both agree as I would suggest to talk with each other honestly and politely when they are in calm mind. Take break when conflict happen so they can calm and think wisely whether the conflict was necessary or not.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Reminding people what is important the relationship.. the goal,, friendship.. being together to face issue.. at that present scenario.
Definitely listening and being neutral and being composed.
Remembering people are from different culture and background. We don’t know what is going in their life.