Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly
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Any  community is going to go through challenges and sometimes people are going to be in conflict with one another or have disagreements. All of that is okay and should be welcomed and even expected. The trick is to figure out what is the best way to address these issues so that we can continue to grow individually and as a community. Most ethical codes for professions recommend approaching the person that you have an issue with to try to resolve it with them first. If you feel safe and comfortable, then that is the best way to go. Here are some other helpful guidelines for conflict resolution brought to you by @Tazzie (original post)!
â  Step back and slow down
â  Avoid repeating unhelpful behaviors in conflicts.
â  Habits can be changed through awareness.
â  Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
â  Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
â  Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
â  Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
â  Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
â  Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
â  Do not convince them you are right.
â  Be aware of potential barriers to listening.
â  Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
â  Use I statements to express yourself.
â  State a feeling rather than judging.
â  Be responsible for your assumptions
â  On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about  others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
â  Share your interpretation of the messages received.
â  Find a common ground
â Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
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Question time!
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
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1.) Have you ever been on either side of the conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I have. Conflict resolution can be difficult for everyone involved, getting into feelings and emotions. One important way to keep it on a resolution path is to not find someone to "blame" but find a solution.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Not really! Conflict resolution is something that needs swift action to avoid the spread of toxins or unhealthy triangulation.
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes I have. I resolved it by stepping back and finding a common ground. It really requires a lot of patience to clear the misunderstandings.
Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
It's okay to apologize when you are wrong!
Hi @Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Ofcourse. Anyone who ever been in a relationship most likely have ever been in a conflict lol… My initial reaction usually, silence. Act in anger usually only ends up with regret. I’ve always brought beautiful serenity prayers with me long before I knew 7 Cups 😋
At work, moreover as an HR, it happens quite often.
After I joined 7 Cups, I learned to listen to both sides of the story with compassion and validate their feelings without having to agree with anyone. And when everyone has said their side of the story, I'd ask how this conflict makes them feel? After that, I usually bring it up to their attention how this situation may affect them and others. When we are already on the same page and the tension is lower, we start working to find a win-win solution. So, thank you 7 Cups ♡
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Silence is golden: When at the heat of the moment, do not react and choose to listen or observe the situation first.
Start with a compliment: Find what is correct in their argument. Because most often than not, there’s no absolute right nor absolute wrong. Or find what positive things they show that are relevant to the situation and start by complimenting them with that.
Hope that make sense ♡ Cheers!
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yeah I have. I apologised and tried to reason from their persepective.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Sometimes people are frustrated and they want to use an argument to let it out. Be wise. Run away :)
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I often find myself trying to help when two of my friends get into a conflict. I try to see both perspectives and see how the situation had risen. I'll remind them that they are friends and although there might be some disagreements we still stick together, and that usually calms them down.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
It would be good to find how and why the conflict had started. Once you figure that out you may start to understand and be able to help the situation a bit better.
@mxmes
Understanding what was the cause of the situation would be a really good step to resolve a conflict. 
@Heather225
1.) Yes I have been on either side of conflict resolution. Typically I ask both the parties to keep the assumptions out of the talk and just sit down and explain to each other their side of the story.
2.) It is difficult but, I often ask people to not bring their baggage or previous experiences into the discussion becuase that more often than not creates a bias and that is not always true.
@Heather225
No, I have never been in a conflict situation but, if I think about being in a conflict situation first, I would remain calm and patiently listen to them. Listening and trying to understand the perspective of the other side can be helpful to see the situation clearly. In case, it turned out to be my fault, I will take full responsibility and apologize. In case it turned out to be just a misunderstanding, I would try to explain them if I still could not resolve the fight I will step back and apologize to them to avoid making the situation worse.
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have been on both sides of a conflict resolution situation and almost everytime the situation got resolved by making a compromise.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Treat eachother with respect at all times, if the situation becomes escalated walk away from the situationa and tell the person you'll continue the conversation once each of you is calm.
@Heather225
1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
I have facilitated peer support groups before. One time, the conversation was becoming unhealthy - it was about political and religious beliefs. I validated all the members’ opinions and then changed the topic by restating the purpose of the group, including what is and isn’t acceptable.
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Somethings I’ve learned from room supporter training:
1. Try to change the topic of the conversation
2. Validate how they feel
3. Start an ice breaker
4. Comment on a person’s display picture
5. Offer support to those who reach out/ are seeking health
6. Purposefully misunderstanding a provocative statement:
Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?
Yes, I think its always best to take a few deep breaths before we say and do things that we shouldnt.. If we take a moment to think cleary and think about the other persons point of view the situation becomes more about fixing it then blaming each other.. Using these methods is how I resolved it :)
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?
Just being more open minded, and also looking more into the situation from the other persons perspective goes a long way
@becca2002
I completely agree, taking a few braths definitley helps
I agree, I think being open-minded and listen to both sides is a good tip!