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Course 3, Discussion 3: When you don't get the role you want

FrenchToast December 5th, 2022

Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!

Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.

Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:

- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!

- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!

- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings

- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!

- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!

- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!

- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!

*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here!


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244
MaggieListens00 June 17th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

Hi there XXXXX. Thank you for letting me know about XXX position. I will admit I am a little disappointed not to be given this role but I understand I might not be a fit at the present. Thanks for reading my application, if at all possible, could you spare a few minutes to give me some feedback on what went well/needs improving. I am sure there will be future opportunities! Hope you have a good rest of your day - Eagle

CharlieDont37 July 6th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

Hello, 'Leader/Direct Report'. I see that you chose someone - 'X' for the position that I was interested in. I think 'X' will do a terrific job for you and be an asset to the team. I wondered if you had a few moments to discuss how I can improve so that if and when a similar position becomes available, I would have all the required skills to get that position. What are the areas that you felt I lacked? What are the areas that you think I can improve? Do you see me ever being capable of that position?

Asking these types of questions helps me to see if both my expectations and view of myself align with my Leader/Direct Report and determine if my view of myself is realistic. I am unrealistic, then I need to work on my deficiencies if I am realistic, this Leader/Direct Report, might be a hinderance to my advancement in the company and I should think of changing jobs.

All in all, the conversation will be very enlightening.

1 reply
Gilbird July 19th, 2023

@CharlieDont37

I don't think it's necessary to call out the name of the person who got the role instead of you, even if it's in a positive manner. Perhaps that's just personal taste.

The rest of your message to the leader sounds great! Your reasoning also makes sense.

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Jenna July 11th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

I should respond with poise and understanding. Remain professional and level-headed. I would ask the leader if they could give me feedback to help me understand areas of growth I need to improve in so I can be ready when I apply for the next time.

Mahad2804 July 12th, 2023

*using @FrenchToastClub as the leader*

Hey French, thanks for letting me know!

Although it's disappointing to hear that I wasn't chosen, I am grateful for the consideration.

I would greatly appreciate any and all feedback you might have for me on how I could improve for future roles.

I also want you to know that despite this setback, I'm still dedicated to supporting this community and the people here and I look forward to keeping up my contributions regardless of what role I'm in.

Thanks again for your time!

Rivelino3 July 15th, 2023
✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

I would naturally be disappointed, how much disappointed I would feel would be depending on the reasons why I didn't get the role. My reaction would in turn lead me to either focus on making the grade by trying to improve on my skill set or fulfilling additional requirements, if the scenario allows for it.

I would discuss the matter with the leader by trying to ask for what were the reasons I didn't get accepted and if I could do something to try to be accepted in my next try, while accepting the current decision and being understanding with them.
Gilbird July 19th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

Hi (Leader's Username),

Thanks for letting me know. May I please have some feedback on my application and what points of it need to be strengthened? I really care about giving back to the ____ community in this role and am planning to apply again in the future, with a strong application.

Thank you for your time,

Gilbird

1 reply
RosaHere July 22nd, 2023

@Gilbird That's great, Gilbird!

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RosaHere July 22nd, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

✒️Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

"Hello and thank you for your response! Despite my disappointment, I respect your decision. That's okay, I will reapply later with improved skills. It would be great if you could provide me with some pointers on how to get this role the next time. Thank you for your time and effort."

DisLifeNot August 3rd, 2023

@FrenchToastClub If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?

I would take it positively even if i would be a bit upset and ask what are my areas of improvement.

Artalistens August 17th, 2023

@FrenchToast

Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?


I would naturally be disappointed, how much disappointed I would feel would be depending on the reasons why I didn't get the role. I will always ask questions regarding I can go about applying for future roles and about what my strengths and weaknesses are so I am aware. I I will also ask if I was to apply for a role at another time what can I change? I can thank them for their help and move on, there’s no point in harping on it. There are lots of responsibilities you can take on.

1 reply
pandanfe August 30th, 2023

@Artalistens

That's a nice attitude to take on rejection 😊

LightsFromDark September 11th, 2023
@Artalistens Nice answer, I agree so much
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lovelyApple6441 August 17th, 2023

@FrenchToast I would thank the leader for the opportunity! I would maybe feel a little disappointed, but would focus on building credentials through trainings and earning badges as well as doing more chats so that I can reapply in the future.

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers September 23rd, 2023

@lovelyApple6441

Great response! 💛

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