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Course 2, Discussion 3: High Expectations and High Warmth

FrenchToast December 5th, 2022

Congrats! You made it the second course in the LDP! In this course, we focus on the specific interpersonal skills needed to be a strong leader on 7 Cups, including mastery of communication skills, time management, conflict resolution, stress management and empowering new leaders.

I know if you are here, you have read our values and culture guide. I would like to start off by further emphasizing one value that's required for a leader to be successful here, and that is balancing High Expectations & High Warmth.

Work environments with high expectations and minimal warmth tend to result in companies that are very driven, rule-oriented and risk-averse. The people do not tend to grow as much personally or professionally. On the other hand, workplaces that are high in warmth, but have minimal expectations, tend to struggle. Everyone is happy and feels loved, but not a lot of effective or focused work gets done.

7 Cups is high expectations AND high warmth. We expect a lot from you. You might feel like we think you are more capable than other people have suggested or maybe even more capable than how you see yourself. That is okay. Every person on the team has outperformed and done better than they expected. This is largely because warmth, patience, and trust help people make much more progress than they have in other environments. We have high expectations, but we will provide plenty of encouragement and guidance to help you get there.

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✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here!


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TabbyCat97 June 4th, 2023

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

High Expectations, Low Warmth: If a 7cups leader has high expectations but lacks warmth, they may come across as cold, distant, or even judgmental. This can create a sense of unease or discomfort for the individuals seeking support, or people on the team they lead. They may feel less inclined to open up or share their struggles due to fear of being criticized or misunderstood, or they may feek unable to reach of for help if theyre stuck on something. It can hinder the formation of a safe and trusting environment, which is crucial for effective emotional support to members and leading a team, working together.

Low Expectations, High Warmth: On the other hand, if a leader is warm but has low expectations, they may provide a comforting and empathetic environment, but their ability to guide and support individuals effectively may be compromised. They may not push individuals to explore deeper issues or work towards their goals, which can result in a lack of progress or personal development. While warmth is important, striking a balance with appropriate expectations is crucial for providing meaningful support. :) ♡

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

Low expectations: Having too low of expectations within the community might result in a lack of accountability and motivation. If there are minimal standards or goals set, people/listeners may not feel challenged to grow or improve. It could lead to a community where individuals don't strive for personal development or offer effective support.

Little warmth: Insufficient warmth within the community may create a cold and unwelcoming atmosphere. People seeking support might not feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions, fearing judgment or lack of understanding. This can hinder the sense of belonging and trust, limiting engagement and the overall effectiveness of the community as a support system, and people may stop working as well together, as a team.


1 reply
4Jasmine February 29th

@TabbyCat97

I appreciate your detailed reasons why too little of one or the other lacks necessary balance. Great job! 

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AnnaSilverberg June 8th, 2023
@FrenchToastClub

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

If I as a leader were like that, the effects it would have on my team is that they would perhaps be very driven and they would stick to the rules and be afraid to take any risks at all.
That would be a work environment that wouldn't flourish and I can't imagine that it would be an environment that people would feel comfortable in.

And it would also hinder my team mates from growing in their roles and from seeking out support when they're facing struggles. Which is not good, because that creates negative feelings of isolation.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

1. It would impact the community in a way that the team would not be putting in the best work they could be doing, that would show in the quality of every project that is done for the community. And having too little warmth would have very negative effects as it would create the possibility of a negative environment and that would hinder the growth of the community.

2. It would create problems in miscommunication, quality issues with projects, there would be lack of support and people would feel more isolated in the work they are doing.
There would be a lot of negative effects that can truly be avoided.
✨💙✨



MaggieListens00 June 13th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?
I believe through an imbalance, you risk the integrity of your mission. In the case of 7Cups, high warmth, low expectations would promote a culture with lower rates of burnout and more support however we would lack the drive and goals to achieve the mission. As a leader, having high expectations and a low amount of warmth would likely lead to higher burnout as there would be less support and comradery whilst still expecting a high level of attainment.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?
In the community, I believe having an imbalance would lead to a poorer outcome for the members we serve here. We need the warmth to cultivate the culture we aim to achieve at 7Cups and also the expectations to drive us to achieve the highest levels of care. As for fellow leaders, we need that high level of warmth to facilitate people in reaching out for help when needed and feeling supported whilst the high expectation is necessary to ensure everyone is orientated on improvement of the community as well as working synchronously as a team.

3 replies
warmheartedCamp3360 August 5th, 2023

@charmingEagle47

That's insightful eagle !! All da best for the journey!

betty212 August 8th, 2023

@charmingEagle47 Awesome examples! :DD

lovelyApple6441 August 17th, 2023

@charmingEagle47 absolutely, loved your point about achieving the highest levels of care possible while also taking care of yourself

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Jenna June 30th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

If I have an imbalance of expectation and warmth then I wouldn't be very supportive, understanding, or deligating responsibilities correctly. I would either be taking on the work or someone else would be taking on all the work. There would not be any proper communication through the team, and people would lack in their roles if they didn't have someone to back them up and support them.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

Without expectations or warmth, the communities morale would drop significantly. People wouldn't care anymore and would abandon roles and projects and things would probably end up not running.

1 reply
CharlieDont37 July 5th, 2023

@Jenna

These answers seem to perfectly state the ramifications of expectations that are too low and the lack of warmth. Thank you for stating this so clearly.

DisLifeNot August 1st, 2023

@Jenna Great answer!

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Rivelino3 July 4th, 2023

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

An imbalance of high expectations with low warmth or low expectations and high warmth or both being too low or too high can be damaging, just like many or most things in life. Simple fact being, balance is the key, even too much of balance can be bad.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

Too low expectations and low warmth would be catastrophic and won't help us build a future worth living in, where there is no kindness and nor a goal to reach or strive to reach to.



1 reply
Jenna July 6th, 2023

@Rivelino3

I agree with what you say about "balance is key". This is so true, having the balance between these two would benefit a company's morale, work ethic, etc.

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CharlieDont37 July 5th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

I suppose some may prefer high expectations and low warmth. That feels sorrowful to me putting not only this person, but all those who might work together or act together. High expectations and high warmth seems the most productive in normal day-to-day living.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

While High and High might seem out of balance No Ying but Plenty of Yang. Low expectations seems that the mindset might foster a lack of personal growth and too little warmth would seem too mechanistic. I do not want to live there in that environment.

✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

1 reply
Gilbird July 16th, 2023

@CharlieDont37

I find it interesting how you compare it to yin and yang. I agree that personal growth cannot thrive without both warmth and expectations

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Mahad2804 July 12th, 2023
✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

As a leader, I have a responsibility not just to my tasks or area of work but also to the people who are within that scope of work.

Their well-being, their capability to do their work, the efficacy of their work, and the amount of pressure being put on them is all something in my purview and therefore, my responsibility.

The balance of expectations and warmth is critical to this task of leadership.

If either factor exceeds the other, the efficiency of the team drops.

High expectations and low warmth leads to discouragement, frustration, dissatisfaction, and burnout in the team.

Similarly, low expectations and high warmth leads to minimal work output, decreased efficiency, and depreciating progress.

Neither is particularly favorable for a team.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

Building upon the previous points, too low expectations will lead to your team members having significant self-doubt as they see their peers in other teams making more progress than them.

They will also be ill-equipped to handle the pace or work pressure if they end up shifting to another team after that.

It will also have a negative impact on the overall community as the vacuum created by the lack of output from your team grows.

It might have to be filled by fellow leaders or other teams which would hurt relations between you and them.

Too low warmth, on the other hand, would make a different kind of negative impact.

It would result in your team members burning out often and your team running through a lot more people than usual.

You would start losing people from your team ergo, again getting to a lack of efficiency and work output.
1 reply
RosaHere July 18th, 2023

@Mahad2804 That's quite insightful. Love your answer!

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beck1 July 12th, 2023

What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

As a leader, we should maintain a balance of expectations we have for our team while also creating a "warm" environment. If we have a higher expectation but just barking orders at our teams, with no encouragement, this is going to discourage those on the team from pursuing higher leadership positions in the team or from even wanting to be on the team itself.

How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

The Community:

If we have little warmth, the community as a whole will suffer. We should be the biggest cheerleaders for our peers and our teams. When we are not, it's easy for people to become very discouraged and they may, ultimately, decide to leave Cups... This would of course impact the community because we would lose an amazing Listener!

Having low expectations for the community as a whole isn't great because we would not be encouraging anyone to grow into leadership positions or anything higher than the "listener" role.

Fellow Leaders:

Other leaders need encouragement just as much as anyone else on the team. They often have a lot of responsibility and it doesn't take a second to send a message of appreciation! When we don't, this can make our leaders feel like they are not appreciated and they may start to become less interested in the role itself.

1 reply
Mahad2804 July 13th, 2023

@beck1 that's such a well rounded answer!

Your experience and knowledge really shows in your answers.

Thanks for sharing this with us!

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Gilbird July 16th, 2023

@FrenchToastClub

What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

Having been in a company where my leaders would project warmth without actually having it while not clearly communicating expectations, I have firsthand seen the disastrous results that ensure. Having that imbalance here on 7 cups would be very damaging in part due to the nature of 7 cups. A lack of warmth would discourage others on my team, degrade their self-confidence, and make tasks seem like chores due to 7 Cups' voluntary nature. A lack of expectations would negatively impact the support community, result in poor listener quality, and turn away those who turned to 7 cups at a time of need.

This would always impact my work with fellow leaders, as it would be difficult to function as a team (low warmth) and to truly feel comfortable sharing feedback (low expectations).


RosaHere July 18th, 2023

✒️ What do you think happens if you, a 7 Cups leader, have an imbalance of expectations and warmth?

It is critical to strike a balance between expectations and warmth. If there is an imbalance, the team will not be able to do as much as it is capable of, and a lack of warmth will create an uneasy environment, affecting job quality. Moreover, team members will not feel comfortable approaching each other or their leader if they require assistance.

✒️ How do you think having too low of expectations, or too little warmth, will impact 1.) the community, and 2.) impact how you work with your fellow leaders?

1. The community will not grow significantly, and kindness among members will be uncommon.
2. Leaders will not be enthusiastic or productive. It will be difficult to approach them due to their lack of warmth. Working together will get more complicated.
1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers September 20th, 2023

@RosaHere

I love your answer! 💜

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