Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
i still have some things to figure out.
i befriended a moth. it’s sitting on my shoulder now
i got waken up by a nightmare at 6:38. i’m not sleeping anymore.
@justmeeva
Eva can use a dream catcher to feel safer, it will catch nightmares. Also, the dream catcher can be hung where the Sunlight can shines. The morning Sun shines on the dream catcher, the bad dreams disappear or evaporate in the presence of the Sun 🌞❤🤗
@VictoriaLove7
i actually do have a dream catcher, but it doesn’t seem to do a very good job :’) or maybe it just can’t catch *all* nightmares, only some. anyway, nightmares don’t last forever, you forget about them and get over them eventually. *hugs if okay* 🩷
@justmeeva
yes yes, it won't last long, you'll wake up & know that it was only a nightmare *hugs back Eva*🤗
i.. don’t think i’m gonna leave my parents a letter. something, maybe, but not an explanation letter.
@justmeeva
Eva 🥺 let's try to think of fun things, to distract you from things that mad you feel sad. yesterday me browsed in utube kuromi & my melody series, it's cute
https://youtu.be/iFtZQZYWjtc?feature=shared
@justmeeva 2/3 days. Depending on what part of the world your in. You've been in my thoughts alot too because I've read between the lines. I hope you don't mind if - there's so much of like to say. But I'm trying to keep it vague. I want to plead with you - beg you to change your mind. To not take that path
It makes me sad to know all of this. It makes me even sadder to know that there's nothing I or anyone else here can do. I don't know your demons Eva. I just know that they're there and I'm sorry that they're plaguing you that you're at this doorway. You're stronger than they are. Believe me when I tell you that. It's hard to fight so many of them. I know. Believe me I really do. It's desperation that drives you to this point. Idk - I honestly don't know how to hold that door shut right because if I did I would nail it shut and brick it in
I'm not even sure why I'm writing - to be annoying. To let you know someone cares. That you matter. That the way things are now doesn't mean it will stay that way
omg this got so long I'm sorry if I upset you by writing all this. It's not what I was trying to do.
@justmeeva hey, eva 👋 ive visited your page alot recently. I tend to come here, type half-sentences lile "thank you-" "you helped me-" and then i stop. Ive been a bit weird like that recently. Cant find the words 😅
Truth is eva, a part of me is also scared. Scared of what youre considering. Scared of even acknowledging it, as though if i dont think of it it wont happen.
Scared of losing you
Eva, kindness is helping someone when theyre at a low point. Love is sticking around, through thick and thin. This- our messages- its not us being kind. Its us loving you. Its us hoping youll stay around and let us.
I read today, Life may not be the party we wanted, but now that we're here we mght as well dance.
I didnt turn the text white. I hope thats not uncomfy? Im tired of being quiet.
You said im good with words. Let these words matter?
You matter. Please. If you think staying is stupid- Ill encourage stupidity for the rest of my life. Just to have you here. Not because i want you to hurt, but because i want you to find a better way out.
And because im selfish, and ill miss you.
And, as always, Ill be waiting for you, for as long as I need to ❤️