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Eva’s Crazy Mind

justmeeva January 21st

i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows. 

i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.

best wishes to you. ❤️

3580
justmeeva OP August 9th

another thing i gotta avoid to not trigger emotions that’s cool

just add it to the list

justmeeva OP August 9th

and if my writing style seems different rn then yes it probably is because i adopted yet another personality but i’ll be myself (though that’s not really a thing) soon probably 

justmeeva OP August 9th

and now i feel bad about just yapping because it wasn’t anything to really complain about and yes i do have standards to determine whether my thoughts and feelings are valid or not and yeah i’ll just shut up and go and regret.

justmeeva OP August 9th

sorry eyes i think i’m allergic to good vibes :’) 

justmeeva OP August 9th

i get startled *so* easily. and i absolutely hate it. i never do anything with my back facing the door. i always have my blinds down, except for when mom wants my room to have sunlight. fair i guess but still no. i get startled by the littlest of noises or when someone approaches me from behind without me noticing. they’re literally like mini heart attacks. or when i see something in the dark, or, well, think i see something in the dark, i have a chill running down my spine. it’s like i’m living in constant fear, but i don’t even have a reason really. just another fun thing about being me. 

justmeeva OP August 10th

tw?

we’re driving and i have to finish the amigurumi plush because it’s a gift to the person who’s house we’re driving to but i’m also getting nauseous and the road’s anything but straight and to top it off, that’s the only gift we have so if i don’t finish it we’ll show up without a gift

what am i supposed to do

justmeeva OP August 10th

good eva another promise you made but can’t fulfill

justmeeva OP August 10th

no i can’t i get too nauseous i can’t ***

justmeeva OP August 10th

*sigh*..

justmeeva OP August 10th

there’s lightning like every 5 seconds. and i love it. it rained really really hard earlier too