Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
tw
damn she couldn’t spend 2 minutes at home without finding things to shout about.
@justmeeva
😞 *offers safe hugs*
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awwe thank you 🩷 *hugs you tight*
@justmeeva
*huggle wuggles* i’m sorry things are tense at home 😞 it hurts when people shout like that. :') 💜 is there anything that helps eva friend… idk - distract herself or something? or is it something directed at you that you can’t avoid…? 😞💜 *no pressure to answer*
i realised that didn’t make much sense lmao. :') i mean, is it something that you can’t really distract yourself from because it’s completely directed at you :')
(there is no end to my incoherence 🤦🏻♀️)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
mm she’s just giving me tiny lectures the point being i should be better, the subject varies depending on her mood, but for now it’s just momentary ones not anything long so it’s not so bad 🩷 i’ll probably just stay away from her and do my own things in my room hehe. and spend some quality time on cups :p 💕
@justmeeva
*keeps huggling wuggling* i’m sorry eva beanie 😞💕 even though “it’s not so bad” and it’s not anything long right now, it’s still v hurtful and meanie of her to go on shouting and lecturing like that… :') me thinks it still bad friend, me vv sorry eva beanie goes through that every day. 😞💜 i wish things were better and kinder and safer for you at home ): 💜
me thinks that’s a good idea friend. 💕 *sends lots of love and good vibes*
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*keeps huggle wuggling too* 🩷 it’s okay, she should go to her own room to do her own things soon so hopefully it’ll me a bit quieter and calmer for a while 🩷 i’ll have to go do something soon as well for some time, but i’ll be on cups after that hehe 💕 *shares the love and good vibes with you* thank you friend ❤️
@justmeeva
okay friend 💜 i’m gonna be in and out for a little while now and then i’ll have to poofzies :') me sadly won’t be here tonight because me has schoolybobs tomorrow ): 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awe that’s okay 🩷 i’m sending all my luck and sleeping skills (wow that’s really not much :0 /hj) and love (now that is much) to you and a vv ~friendly~ letter to your school to be gentle with my fren (: 💕
@justmeeva
aww thank you 🥺💕 *eats the luck* 🍀 mmm, good ol’ cookie-luck 🍪😋 /lh
@LoveMyMoonflowers
of course, handbaked with love and added some of that gold from the cauldron at the end of a rainbow for extra ✨~shine~✨ 🍀❤️
@justmeeva
mmm 🍀✨ it’s good 💕
my brain’s not leaving me alone, it keeps telling me about everything i’m doing wrong and should do and have to do, i haven’t forgotten. this is like a kind of apology then i think, trying to calm my brain but also- apologise. it might make 0 sense, don’t be surprised if it’s so.
@iloveyouxx
i’m sorry i still haven’t responded to you. it really shouldn’t be that hard but somehow it is. my brain’s just unable to make words into sentences lately, especially with long texts. i haven’t been in a very lighthearted place lately so staying positive and finding good things and good words is just difficult sometimes. it’s always in the back of my mind somewhere, my brain keeps telling me you’re still waiting for that response, but it’s not enough to make me be able to take action lol. (it all sounds so dramatic sorry-)
i’m sorry i haven’t been there for you much. i want to, i really really want to, but i don’t seem to be very good at supporting anymore. idk why. everything seems to need more effort and energy and time but i never seem to have that so i just.. don’t. there’s like something stopping me but there’s- nothing- stopping me-? complicated and weird, i know. anyways, i guess my point is that i still really really care about you. that hasn’t changed one bit. but.. i have. something in me. idk, simple things just aren’t that simple anymore. but you know what is simple? sending hugs to you. so that’s what i’ll do. *sends optional warm hugs to you* i’m sorry.
@unassumingEyes
i’m sorry i haven’t really been there for you, with you either. or that’s what it feels like at least. like i’ve been too quiet when it comes to you. like i don’t check on you enough. or respond to you enough. or show my appreciation enough. though i want to. and i should. but for some reason, i haven’t really lately. i just hope you know how awesome and cool and sweet and strong you are in my eyes. really.
i just feel like i’m failing as a friend. though i’m trying. but it feels like i’m not trying enough. so idk. it feels like “it’s the meaning that counts but the actions that matter”. i’m not exactly sure what i’m doing, or why. you don’t have to respond anything. just knowing is enough for me. this ending is so messy lol idk.
love you 🩷 but like, *really*. 🩷
@justmeeva
my tag got nommed too, smh cups.
Look-i noticed you were a bit absent recently, i admit. But i never held that against you. Life can be really, really hard, and sometimes we need breaks, even from the people we love. Its better to withdraw, just a little bit, sometimes, rather than push yourself till everyones upset. You were taking time for yourself- even if you didnt exactly see it that way- and that was 100% okay. And youve been alot, and i really do mean alot, of help for me, ever since i joined cups. Im really grateful and lucky to have met you.
Basically, what Im trying to say is, I dont think you need to apologize, for any reason. But, incase you still feel like you do, I accept your apology. I dont feel like i have been treated unfairly, or poorly, or anything like that, but if you believe you have been a not good friend, although it is really untrue, if it were true, i still forgive you- and you still dont need to apologize. I wrote ridiculously long paras in response- but anyways- i hope you’re okay, and before you wonder about me- i think i will be okay 🩷
@unassumingEyes
i gtg so it’ll be short, but thank you for understanding, thank you for forgiving, thank you for being my friend 🩷 *hugs if okay*
@justmeeva *hugs* thank you too 🩷
@unassumingEyes
agrees vv much ^-^💜sorry I just got back from school :0🤍about to respond💕
@justmeeva
omg lovely🩷I never got this tag and just decided to check cups before I leave for school😭I’ve barely read anything but the first line which I think said "I’m sorry I still havent responded to you" yay I remember? :P💙 cos I woke up late today and kinda in a rush💜but there’re benefits to having school a minute away from yu :P🤍I might have time to read but I won’t reply that soon I’m sorry🩷/gen
I wanted to reply but I have to finish getting ready in 7minutes TvT I love you🩷/gen both of yu :P💓
@unassumingEyes @justmeeva 💖
@iloveyouxx @justmeeva love you too. Both of you 🩷
@justmeeva @iloveyouxx @unassumingEyes
*peeks and hugs you all if okay*
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*hugsss* 🩷
@justmeeva
huggly wuggly huggle wuggles 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers *gently hugs everyone* hi love 🩷
@justmeeva
my left hand fell asleep and my index went right on the little "x" that closes the tab T^T🩷i was typing so slow too- first of all lovely why’re you apologizingg I counted all the "sorry"s haha :')💜I don’t think you have a reason to apologize🩷I haven’t replied to someone since march :P🤍or talked to all my chatroom friends in months :')💙sometimes it’s just. already hard enough as it’s own. I don’t think it shouldn’t be hard because I know it is-🩷it really really is and I genuinely don’t think you need to ever apologize for it friend.💕I understand. when your mind feels all foggy. It can feel like navigating through a dark maze in your own head :')🤍atleast how I see it💜I’m not waiting for you to respond💜I’m waiting for you to be able to finally say you’ve gotten better💗it’s really all that’s important to me💖tell your brain to quit it :P💜it doesn’t know nothing :P/lh not you- your smart💞but when brain tells eva mean things that’s not right💙if you never respond- will it matter?🤍I’d appreciate it so much💜but it’s not worth your time or all the energy and effort I know it takes.💗you know what would matter🩷? seeing a text from you saying something like today im happy- and I don’t think it’s a bad sign.💖that’d mean so much to me.💗don’t dwell on this too much.🩷it’s really not as bad as you think- I still love you no? (you don’t sound dramatic lovely :0💜I relate🤍) accepts hugs and offers more hehe <3🩷 friend I just wanna say smth if okay :0🤍I dunno if you’ve actually went on my forum space at all lately.🤍but. that thing I posted there like 1day ago🤍you said an hour after that replying to you saying your the worst friend or smth like it :P🤍then an hour after I posted that you said smth like see I told you or smth- I forgot heh :P🤍I don’t know if that was about me- probably wasn’t idk🤍? I just thought I should tell you I wasn’t actually referring to you :P? I mean. you were online hehe and you would get notified🤍but that was like 5/6am for you- you already weren’t doing okie at all and am I really gonna expect you to come on and say smth :P? It would have- helped. the way that other lovelyhooman helped. I just got a bunch of upvotes and thought it was you then it wasn’t. maybe I don’t expect it but I need it- not always from you tho and that’s okie🩷it’s not like I was angry or upset at anyone at all tho🩷just upset in general.💜I still don’t know if that had anything to do with me but I thought I should just make that clear💖
posting this a lot later than when it was written :')💜my dad got back early I’m really sorry💙saved it all tho luckily heh :P love you💗
I feel like I just threw in all my thoughts and didn’t think much while typing-? so sorry if this is a bit messy or doesn’t make sense.-💜
(yu don’t have to respond to any of this btw :0💓/gen (and nu not just a tone tag :P genuinely- you don’t have to🩷)
@iloveyouxx
omagod nadia you’re so sweet and considerate and understanding and caring 🥺🥺🥺 literally all through reading this i was like *😮🫢🥺🥹* smhhh /lh
idk what to say besides i appreciate you so ~freegin~ much and thank you and i love you and i wanna hug you tons 🤧💕💕 
@justmeeva
awwwweee😭🥺why am I smiling what if my dad notices ahajjsjsjqsj-
thats like 4 compliments🥺🥺💓
xD those are funny emojis hehehhe xD✨💕
hm🧐i suck at math but those are like 4 things🤓👆💜/j/j/j/j/j/j
you do?🥺and you love me😭? awwwwe I didn’t do anything😭💖you know my✨overthinking✨self saw you write that last "love you🩷but like, *really*🩷"to eyesbuddy and decided to- overthink XD💙
youre too cuteeee🥺💕I literally didn’t plan anything just went straight to writing just what I thought😭🩷
It’s just what I do w most of my essays :P💜if I actually planned or thought of them my brain would explode-
also lovely me proud of yu for still replying- I thought I was being too lighthearted and that it’d be hard to respond :P💓
*comes back to next day and realizes this didn’t post but it’s still here :P I’m at swimming xD at school xD I saw this 11minutes after it was posted- *posts*💖
@iloveyouxx
of course i dooo how could i not? 🥺🩷 well, what you wrote definitely is something to me, but even if you don’t do anything, i still love you 💕 (:
nope, the last part was for the both of you 🩷 but i understand the overthinking part 🩷
if you didn’t plan anything then it means it just came from your heart and that you’re just naturally sweet ✨ which is- woahhh 💕 and awweee 🥺 hehe~
mm no, it was wholesome to read and i could make up a teeny tiny response hehe 💕
*sends warm hugs to you so you can flex in front of everyone* 😎 🩷
it’s snowing, everything’s covered in it. it’s beautiful <3
@justmeeva
aww that’s lovely 🥰
ok so i just casually slipped and fell on the floor and now my knee (it’s a knee, right?-) hurts so i’ll just- stay still for the rest of the day and make my siblings serve me.
@justmeeva
*sends emergency healing beams for eva’s knee* :o and i like that idea about your siblings lmao 😝🤭💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*puts the beams in a humidifier so the air it filled with the beams* yes, the benefits of being the oldest sibling 😌✨ :p
@justmeeva
*stares at the humidifier and beams in the air* that was smart 😱😱😱
wait does that mean my brother has secret benefits idk about? 🤔✨
@LoveMyMoonflowers
@justmeeva
