Eva’s Crazy Mind

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

@justmeeva

aww i can imagine it looked adorable 🥺💕 it’s okie eva beanie 💜 hmm 🤔 maybe you can take like a picture of it 🤔 (im not good with ideas 😌✨) 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

@justmeeva

awww. 🥺 that’s so sweet and wholesome 💕

no. 

she’s not gonna bring new people to my life right now. 

also to the people i haven’t responded to yet, i can’t do that right now. long texts. words. lighthearted stuff. i’ll likely only stay here. i’m sorry 

everything’s so slow. my movements. my speaking. my thinking. everything around me. so slow. 

there’s no point in talking to my mom. she never listens. and in both ways. yk how one kind of listening is the physical hearing listening and the other is like she doesn’t care what you have to say? she does both. she absolutely ignores us so we have to repeat a word or sentence or “mom” like 3 times although atp i just give up after the first try lol. and no, her hearing is perfectly fine. she just pays 0 attention. and sometimes if we say “mom” like 4 times she starts paying attention and goes “speak already i’m listening!” like yeah sure. guilt tripping. and that every day. and not even just with us or at home, she sometimes does this to other people too. less, but still. and well, talking to her, as in problems and stuff, that i don’t do anymore. just.. stopped at some point. not sure when. 

tw just in case.

and her voice has become triggering. or, i’m not sure if “triggering” is the right word for it, but it’s definitely way more than just annoying. her voice when it’s loud. especially when she shouts. no matter if it’s about me or my siblings. unless she sees me, i always cover my ears or turn the music up to cancel out her voice when i can. 

@justmeeva sometimes the similarities between us two are astounding- i almost wonder if you’re a nicer, slightly younger version of me xD but with more siblings- 

obv not ur a v different and v amazing person 💕💕 but ur thoughts/experiences are sometimes super similar to my thoughts/experiences. 

Kinda a bummer i dont have the faintest notion how to help tho :/ i wish ur mom would be more gentle 🩷 it could make a huge difference i think :/ love u frnd 🩷

the day’s getting closer. or night. 

there she goes again. cover your ears and wait until it’s over.

oh she’s loud. 

she finally stopped i think. 

my eyes are burning because that’s what tears and mascara do. 

they mentioned my ex best friend. thanks.

i hate calling her an ex best friend. 

i guess, though it’s been over a year, it’s still hard to accept. and it still hurts like ***. 

and my future. 

the one i don’t have. 

breathe. 

distract. 

forget. 

for now. 

or, if that doesn’t work, you can always…

and suddenly, it doesn’t feel like that bad of an idea. 

tempting. 

just.. give me a minute. i’ll be back. 

@justmeeva

*sits here quietly if okie, and waits for you* 🥺❤️ 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

oh, hi..

@justmeeva

hi ❤️ :') 

@justmeeva

me sorry friend ni friend can poof if me invading space or anything ❤️ me sorry 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

no no don’t go you can stay

@justmeeva

okay friend ❤️ *offers safe hugs*

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

*hugs you* <3

@justmeeva

*hugs tight*

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

i have to go and watch some movie with my mom and brother now. i love you, and i’m glad you were here. thank you. 🩷