Eva’s Crazy Mind

might actually do that. 

leaving after saying you’ll be there are you *** kidding me eva?

@justmeeva

*hugs you* 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs back* 🩷

@justmeeva

💜💜💜

more *** drama to my life. sure. why not. 

not gonna explain the entire backstory atm, but basically my mom, my sister and i made a group hug (it has been kind of a before bed thing lately but idk i don’t like it which is weird because i love hugs. don’t ask.) and my mom said “i liked today because of the amount of messages with hearts at the end i got today” and my sister said “i liked today because of the amount of cards and everything i got from my friends” and my lonely *** self just stood there. isn’t life great. 

@justmeeva

*offers gentle hugs for evabuddybeanie* 💙

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs ni fren* 🩷

@justmeeva

*hugs tightttt* <3 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs lotsssss* <3

losing touch with reality again. emotionless. just existing. 

i’ve been having.. thoughts lately. a certain type of thoughts. i hope thoughts are the most they’ll be. 

@justmeeva *sits with eva* 

@justmeeva @unassumingEyes 

*sits with eva and eyes* <3 

i like my music so loud it almost scares me. that way i can feel something at least. 

reposting something because that’s the mood tonight (and many nights before and ahead)

“i *** hate it when things don’t hit the same after some time anymore. songs, videos, messages, whatever. why does life keep finding *** to take from me? why does life not want me to be happy? am i really that unworthy?“

think eva think

funny, it’s usually the exact opposite lol. 

…

that absolutely did not help. 

in fact, might’ve made things worse. 

this is so sad tbh. 

no come *** on you can’t do the losing touch with reality thing right now eva you gotta be here you have to

@justmeeva *sits with u* 🪑 sending love frnd <3 

0 feeling of sadness. 0 feeling of happiness. 0 feeling of excitement. 0 feeling of pain. 0 feeling of anything. 0 feeling at all. - not here. 

. . .

my mind can not take this. 

i was pretty convinced i already posted something like this, but i guess not. 

this is probably the worst i’ve ever been, but i know it’s not the worst i can be. isn’t that motivating. 

all this.. confusion. it’s so confusing, and so exhausting too. 

wow. i think this is the longest i’ve been like this. and the most it has bothered me. i wonder what i should call it - “being away”? idk. 

@justmeeva

*sits with you if ok and sends safe gentle hugs*

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs you* <3

@justmeeva

<3<3

@LoveMyMoonflowers

🩷

i need answers. 

the feeling is still the same. 

…

Hru now eva?/nfta *safe hugs if oki*

@unassumingEyes

idk, still the same i guess. idk what to do about me. but it’s fine. *hugs eyes buddy* 🩷

@unassumingEyes

hru doing? 

@justmeeva *hugs* me here for you ❤️ im okay, i think. Floating. Thanks for asking love 🤍

@unassumingEyes

💕

is this how it’s gonna be?

i have some over-the-deadline unfinished school stuff. having them makes me so stressed lol. “why don’t you just do them then?” you might ask. well, you see, they wouldn’t be unfinished if they were easy to do. but they’re not so difficult either. i just- idk. idk where to start. i’m overthinking it. like a lot. it’s all so messy in my head that i avoid it. and by avoiding it they’ll be even more over the deadline. meaning even more stress. see the loop? yeah.