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Eva’s Crazy Mind

justmeeva January 21st

i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows. 

i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.

best wishes to you. ❤️

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justmeeva OP April 26th

3 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers April 26th

@justmeeva

*sits here if okie* 🥺

2 replies
justmeeva OP April 26th

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

of course it’s okie 🩷

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers April 26th

@justmeeva

💜

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justmeeva OP April 26th

this feeling again. like i’m.. lost. and gone. like i don’t exist anymore. like everything’s fake. like there’s no reality. like there’s no control. 

justmeeva OP April 26th

minutes go by. so do hours. and eventually, so do days. and there’s nothing you can do about it.

justmeeva OP April 26th

i should probably start writing it. i’m starting to run out of time. 

justmeeva OP April 26th

oh good there are those tears we didn’t know we’d have to cry today

justmeeva OP April 26th

gtg bbl.

2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers April 26th

@justmeeva

hug-virtual-hug.gif

1 reply
justmeeva OP April 26th

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

thank you 🩷

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justmeeva OP April 26th

fake smile on because dad only knows her daughter as a happy girl <3

justmeeva OP April 26th

i get some.. really disturbing thoughts and scenarios sometimes. 

justmeeva OP April 27th

tw don’t even read it’s gonna ruin your mood 

oh world. first you’re making this place a living ***, trying to get rid of me like never before, and then you make that harder too? what do you want? did you change your mind? because i didn’t. if this is a sign you want me to stay afterall, then you’re late. i guess “actions have consequences” isn’t just for humans. not sure when, but you made your choice. and you made me make mine. now accept it. don’t *** bring people back when i’m about to leave. don’t *** do that. why- why are you like this?

4 replies
unassumingEyes April 27th

@justmeeva 

Dont leave? 


4 replies
justmeeva OP April 27th

@unassumingEyes 

i’m sorry..

3 replies
unassumingEyes April 27th

@justmeeva

Your bio says you genuinely hope to see us again tomorrow. You cant if you’re not there tomorrow.

I genuinely hope there’s a lot more tomorrows for you.

I hope the day you go, the sky shows us eva in the way words never could. I hope that day is a long time away.

you dont have to apologize. Especially not for hurting. It should be us apologizing for creating a world thats hurting you 

even if you go ill still wait for you. Even if im waiting for decades ill wait. Ill wait and hooe youre not really gone, that youre not alone.

you dont have to feel bad, or guilty, or anything

eva just needs to be eva. The real, unfiltered eva. Thats enough. Thats more than enough. 

You might not read all of this but i love you either way 🤍

2 replies
justmeeva OP April 27th

@unassumingEyes 

you’re not the ones to blame for it. you’re the ones who make world better. you’re the ones who give hope to the world. you’re the ones who keep that light shining. you’re the good in the bad. never been the opposite. you’re the ones who make the pain less painful. you’re my friends. always and forever. and i love you more than anything. <3

you’ll know when i’ll leave. not yet. 

1 reply
unassumingEyes April 27th

@justmeeva

you make it better too, You make me better too. 


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justmeeva OP April 27th

the clouds look unreal. i’ve always been fascinated by the sky. it’s beautiful. it’s magical. it reminds me of peace. i’m gonna miss it.