my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times

More & more lately, I'm convinced that all the things that people say make life worth living are just exercises in TMT.*

*stands for Terror Management Theory

For a few years now, I have argued that the United States is an empire in decline. To my way of thinking, we reached our peak sometime in the early 1990's after the fall of socialism with the USSR coming apart. At that point certain trends of decadence were at work within American society & more specifically within academia & business but overall, we had no real competitors then. We had the most capable military, our economy was strong, the Internet revolution was just getting started & China was emerging from its dictatorship under the late Deng Xiaoping into the current "state capitalist" (read as neo-mercantilist) nation it is today. We had no peer competitor of any kind.

That was 1991-93 or so. ⏩ to now &, well...isn't it amazing how much can change in 30-some-odd years?

I could go into evidence for my stance but that would take way more time & lines of text than any of you are going to read here. All I'm gonna post is the latest economic evidence of it. With our weaponizing the dollar to punish nation-states we don't approve of & most of the West going along with it, certain other countries have taken note of it & are looking to free themselves from dependence on the dollar as a reserve currency. The CCP regime--always on game--is taking full advantage & welcoming them with open arms. To wit:

de-dollarization

I just have one question: have any of the governments of these countries looking to free themselves from western/US hegemony thought about how they will deal with Chinese hegemony? Because China has been looking to be king of the hill for a while now...once we're knocked down a few pegs--& it will happen at some point. No empire lasts forever--the great dragon of the East is the most likely replacement. And her rule, I suspect, would (will?) be quite different from ours.

"The first panacea for a misguided nation is inflation of the currency; the second is war. Both bring a temporary prosperity; both bring a permanent ruin. But both are the refuge of political and economic opportunists."

- Ernest Hemingway

So the volunteer overseers of 7Cups-Land started the Religion & Spirituality Forum.

I predict that forum will be very interesting indeed... 😒

No doubt they meant well, but if that "community" is going to survive then it will have to be the most heavily moderated forum here. Otherwise it will have as much lifespan as a cockroach when a pest control technician arrives with a mask on & a sprayer. Surely I don't have to explain why, gentle reader....but just in case, here it is:

When you're just starting out on your journey through this world one of the rules of thumb you learn, or should learn, is "when at work, do not discuss politics & religion." There are sound reasons for that. People root their dearest convictions in both realms; in the 21st century C.E. that may be more true of politics than in any earlier era for ordinary people, thanks to the age-old human instincts of tribalism, groupthink, & reasoning errors + modern communications technology. This is why every comment thread below a political post on any social media platform or political YouRube video is an inevitable s**tshow. What else could it be, when you bring together online tribes divided by intractable ideological &/or religious differences? More optimistic folks may not like it but the fact is, not every difference of opinion can be resolved by discussion. Examples of that are legion: abortion, immigration/border policy, gun control, crime & countermeasures to it, anthropomorphic climate change*, government regulation of business, etc., etc.

7Cups may not be a workplace for us (except for the volunteers) but it is a place full of people with mental & emotional issues, unresolved trauma, etc. That makes for a lot of sensitive individuals, some of whom are triggered by things the rest of us would either take in stride or barely notice.

In that forum, sooner or later some difference of doctrine will pop up & someone will feel (s)he must defend his/her position. Then the mudslinging will start, & the mods will have to step in.

I predict the above will happen more than once. I also predict that at least one of the members will wind up getting banned from that forum, if not from 7Cups entirely.

Also, there are a great many Christians & a few Muslims in the forum. Far as I know, I'm the only Jew here & not even a religiously observant one at that. I was into pro-Israel activism decades ago; in the late 1990's & early 2010's, I got involved in online clashes as much as anybody. I've also read quite a bit about the history of my people, particularly in medieval to early modern Christendom (Europe) & the Islamic empires of the Near East & al-Andalus^. If you know anything about us then you know our dealings with these faith communities up to modern times were usually unpleasant at best & deadly to us at worst. It's still going on to this day; the only difference is these days neo-N@zis & Muslims are our main enemies, not Christians.

The point is, I'm Jewish & in the Religion & Spirituality Forum, I am quite outnumbered. If I join & participate, I know how things will go.

So I gotta stay out.

*It's a clumsy phrase but also more accurate than "global warming". For the record, I consider ACC real & in need of solutions. However I hold that any solutions to the issue must be carefully thought out & not executed too hastily. To do otherwise may well crack modern society apart, & most of my politics are what you might call "orderist".

^transliteration of the Arabic term for Spain during its occupation by the Muslim "Moors" (North Africans) & their emirs, who were mostly Berbers with an Arab here & there.

I'd like to add that the mods & managers here could've done with better timing. Why did they create the forum at the end of August? The anniversary of the 9-11 attacks will come up in a few days, facryinoutloud.

People (mostly men, I would guess) who brag about their property or assets are annoying AF. Seriously, not everyone gives a flying s**t about how many expensive toys or houses you have, dude... *smh* It's so shallow.

Right now I'm irritated as a rattlesnake with a toothpick jammed up its a.n.a.l vent.

Guess I'll have to add "rich braggarts" to the list of categories of people I hate. At the rate I've been going the last few years, I'll end up hating the entire human race in < two decades.

Though I do not own any pets, I can really relate to the t-shirts that say "the more people I meet, the more I like my dog".

Given the semi-regular aches & pains in my shoulder & elbow, plus the occasional flareup in my right wrist & the edge of my right hip feeling like it was on fire a couple days ago for the first time, I can't help but put two & two together. I think there's a chance my right side will be useless in 20 years.

If so, then I'd better do plenty with my right arm & leg while they're still functional.

Let's not forget the inability to sleep at night like normal people...

If reincarnation was real, then in a previous life I was probably a vampire bat.

@slowdecline48

Absolutely I totally understand ! Sleep is golden

When I went out tonight* to get some milk & a snack, I saw the communal bulletin board inside the convenience store. For the 2nd time, I read the ad for someone's lost German Shepherd dog...

When I was a wee lad, I was quite sensitive. Not the best quality for a boy to have, but that came with the creativity & everything else. I couldn't stand to see an animal in pain. Once got in trouble in grade school for yelling at a teacher who was clearing out a spider web with a broom, because I didn't want to see the spider get hurt. We had several pets as I went through childhood; every time one died, I grieved. I even buried our parakeets & my two hamsters in the back yard. When our dog died I took it hard like any boy would...you get the point.

Becoming an adult & living this life changed me as it changes us all. You learn that sensitivity is a curse in a world as misbegotten as this one, & gradually you toughen up. You'll lose some creativity that way but it's a fair trade, & a necessary one.

But every once in a while, I still feel something.

I don't know where that dog is. As far as successfully getting him back, I know the odds are not with the owner. The beast may not even be in the same town at this point. If that dog isn't already dead by now he most likely will be in one week, max. Domesticated animals don't do well when they run free because they lack the right instincts. There are so many ways for a stray dog to die in an urban landscape; in practically all of them, the creature will suffer terribly before he expires. I'm trying not to think about all the ways he could get killed...quickly or slowly...

Last year I was walking just below the county line when I found a canine corpse. It was mid-sized & had white fur...I couldn't tell the breed. It was one of those companion dogs that usually don't leave the house unless they go to a dog park or whatnot. This one had been hit by a car--no surprise, as it was by a major road--& made it onto the grass, where it laid down by a tree trunk. I took a snapshot with my phone...why I did, I don't know. Maybe I was attempting to rescue the creature from the oblivion of mortal anonymity. No, I will not post the photo here...it might be on my portable hard drive somewhere, who knows...

...thought about that poor thing on more than one night...

I'd like to own a dog. A shelter mutt, not too large & hopefully without any serious behavioral issues. It would be nice to have a furry friend...but I will never adopt one. Have seen too much innocent death in my life already; I don't need to see any more of it. And I do not need the possibility of the creature bolting out the door or off the leash, with the consequent grief & loss & futile search for the whereabouts of a dog that probably wouldn't even last 72 hours on the streets.

*last night, by the time you read this

Today I turn another year older.

Jesus in a f***in' Cadillac, is it depressing... Right now I don't even want to leave my bedroom. Uuggghhhh.

I have one more reason not to participate in the Religion/Spirituality Forum: the current battle between Israel & Hamas.

I may post a few items here that are related to it. If I do then please heed my warning:

My posts will be political. And yes, they will address religious topics as well.

You may feel uncomfortable looking at/reading them. If that possibility bothers you then feel free to skip them. No one is forcing you to read my journal; there are plenty of others here. But if you decide to read them, afterwards you will be more informed--about historical events, & the current conflict--then you were before, I promise you.

I've been into this stuff for a few years now. Some of it I've been into for decades. And you cannot pick up substantial parts of it from an American college education. The sad truth is that most formal education in the United States (graduate-level as well as below) is woefully inadequate. If you want substantial knowledge of certain subjects, particularly history, then in this country you have to go find it on your own.

Re: the Israel-Hamas conflict

To begin with, the conflict has not always been with Hamas. Before that, the conflict was between Israel & surrounding Arab countries because those countries would not recognize Israel as a legitimate state, did not believe it had any right to exist, & so their governments felt justified in attempting to wipe Israel--including all its people, not just the government--off the map. Before that, the region was a part of the British empire; before that it was part of the Ottoman empire (Turkish, & the last great Muslim empire or "caliphate"), etc. The point is that there is a ton of history leading up to the current battle. Whatever your opinion about who's right or who's wrong, you cannot make a competent judgment about it if you don't know any of the history behind it. Most people don't know it. In addition, there are various activists & other interested parties who, if you give 'em a chance, will mislead you for their own purposes. Be aware of that.

Having said that, I will add that the situation with Israel & the Palestinians has long been one of the most furiously contested among hot-button political issues. No one involved in it is without bias, & that includes me. I believe in being honest & so, dear readers, will admit my bias at the outset: I am Zionist. That means I am pro-Israel. It does not mean I am opposed to the Palestinian people in general; I think they have legitimate grievances but some of them are trying to address those grievances in the wrong way (& by blaming the wrong party). I would like to see the Israelis & Palestinians get along. Until recently I was in favor of a two-state solution, but these days I am not very positive about the prospects of a functioning Palestinian state. I think they might have a chance at success if Hamas & Fatah were gone. But I don't see that happening unless Israel decides to send in its military to do the job, which would mean lots of Arab civilian deaths, which I do not want to see. To sum up, I don't believe Israel is any less legitimate as a nation-state than any other nation-state currently on the planet. If a nation's existence or nonexistence is to be determined by past sins on its record then for moral consistency, quite a few other countries should be forcibly dismantled before Israel...the United States, Russia, Rwanda, & China would would have to go first, for sure.

Re the current battle: Hamas is definitely at fault because its jihadists attacked first, because its jihadists deliberately attacked Israeli civilians & because part of Hamas' strategy is, as usual, to keep Palestinian civilians in harm's way so that any Israeli response inflicts Arab casualties--which Hamas & allied orgs will then use as part of their anti-Israel propaganda campaign.

Now with that out of the way... My original thought was to type up a summary or timeline of the region from the beginning (btwn 1300 & 1100 B.C.E.*) to now. Luckily there are quite a few summaries out there already, so I saved myself some work. The following links are to two videos on Youtube. The first one is a short version of the history I described...the narrator (Ben Shapiro) isn't my favorite guy--he's a bit right-leaning for my taste on some issues--but on the situation with Israel, he presents it factually & minimizes his spin. The second link is to part of a Joe Rogan podcast featuring a young African-American philosopher by the name of Coleman Hughes. He is far less biased on political issues in general than most of us; because of that, he's a solid source. If you haven't judged who's guilty & who's innocent yet, watch the videos first & think it over. If you've already formed an opinion, watch the videos &, if necessary, reconsider your assumptions:

• a brief history of Israel (& its wars)
• Hughes' summary of the current conflict

More posts about this will follow if there is sufficient interest. If you want to read more, please let me know.

As a post of mine in the "Negative Experiences and Criticisms" thread in the R&S Subcommunity was initially censored, then restored in a bowdlerized version, I decided to put it here but closer to its original form. *sigh*...I suppose a

(TW: Inconvenient facts, expressions of violence)

is in order. Remember, no one said you had to read the following...but if you do, then perhaps you'll be a bit more informed about this issue:

- Mohammed Deif, leader of Hamas' military wing

A high-ranking leader in Hamas issued a call for war for not just Arabs, but for all Muslims everywhere to go after all Jews everywhere. This statement was released at the same time as the attack on southern Israel. Luckily, almost no one anywhere the Middle East* or Southeast Asia responded to his call for jihad. Meanwhile, protests have been staged in several American cities where the marchers clearly picked the side of Hamas. Speakers on (& off) several university campuses blamed Israel as the sole cause of the whole conflict. They made it clear that for them, the world's only Jewish state is illegitimate & should be wiped off the map.

Does anyone remember when "globalize the intifada!" was a trendy catchphrase? It wasn't that long ago, folks...

This is not the first bad experience I've had with Islam, not by a long shot. Or perhaps it has only involved Islam's more politicized & hard-core representatives...

The usual reply is "don't judge an entire religion by the actions of a few extremists!" From a purely modern secular standpoint that makes sense...but history says otherwise. I should know since I've been into it for over a decade now. You could say I've been into it more generally for almost 20 years if you count my research during my "new atheism" phase from 2006-2010, but then I was mostly into the history of European Christendom, particularly of the Catholic church, the Reformation & Counter-reformation, & right-wing Evangelical fundamentalist activity in the US.**

The whole Israel-vs-Hamas situation has my back hair up now. It dredges up quite a few things in my memory, particularly the experience of my people in the various caliphates from the initial invasions in the 7th century up to WW1, when the Ottoman empire fell apart. (The idea of Islamic society as a paradise of ecumenical tolerance is mythical & false. It was marginally better than medieval Christendom overall, but that's about it) The conflict also brings to mind one protest in NYC where the protestors chanted "Jews, Remember Khaybar!"... (If you don't know what that refers to, Khaybar was a town in Arabia where several hundred men of a Jewish tribe were beheaded & the women & children taken as slaves. They were the losers in a conflict with Muhammad & his new Muslim community. Interestingly it is also where Muhammad himself may have died from being poisoned, depending on which sources you believe)

Another typical reply I get is "every religion has its share of fanatics." True. In all honesty I will admit: Judaism is no exception to that...unfortunate but true. But Islam is the only religion around today that produces its fanatics

1. in greater quantity than any other religion extant, including Christianity.
2. worldwide, including Southeast Asia, northern Africa, the United States & every country in western Europe. You can find Islamists on every continent, including ours.
3. whose motives have considerable support from traditional religious doctrine. You can see just one of many examples of that here. (Jihad is not a new idea)

I'm trying to be fair-minded here. I swear I am. But I gotta be honest now: whenever I see a woman with a hijab on, I get a little bit nervous. Whenever I see a mosque in the West, I just can't help but think of it as a beachhead...as a sort of staging ground where the next pogrom is likely to start or where the next effort to extend Islamic dominion will start, at the expense of me & mine. If a Jew gets beaten, harassed or k*lled here & it turns out someone in Mo's fan club did it because of the current situation, I won't be surprised in the least. It certainly wouldn't be the first attack of its kind within CONUS--or outside it. 

Are these thoughts bad? Unfair, maybe? Perhaps. But I can only judge from the experiences I've had & the knowledge I've gained so far. If someone can show me a more benevolent side of Islam...one that lets me go about my business in peace &/or can deal with me as an equal instead of a 2nd-class citizen, then I'm all ears/eyes.

*"Middle East" is not the most accurate name for the region that most people think of when they hear it. Better names would perhaps be Near East (as it is closer to the West than Central Asia ("the 'Stans") or the Far East (i.e. China & Japan). Other names include MENA, for Middle East/Northern Africa, or Western Asia...that's technically correct but less familiar to most.

**This was during the Bush II years...some of you are old enough that you may remember that period. I certainly do.

O Michelle, lovely Lyft driver,

A slim well-preserved 50 with brown hair,

Eyes like dark chocolate & a cute smile,

Rather tall, light-skinned with cheekbones high,

Hard-working in denim over toned thighs...

...& married with two daughters & a son.

If I can muster up sufficient energy, I will deal with my disappointment & loneliness by sketching dirty pictures. Yes, I know they're not allowed here, dammit.

Haven't done much lately other than what's necessary for my part-time job.

When I'm home I mostly sleep...sometimes I skip meals. Flareups don't make it any easier.

Whenever my depression becomes active, I get like this. It's almost a kind of hibernation...

The one improvement over past cycles & episodes is that instead of wasting hours of my life on (anti)social media, I lose myself in a book instead...that is, if my main condition doesn't get so bad that I can't focus enough to read. (Headache, vertigo & tinnitus will kill your concentration. Guaranteed)

As for why I'm depressed: right now my people face the same old threats. Those threats wear fashionable labels today but their essential nature has not changed. Israel's army has moved into Gaza for the ground war to cripple Hamas or hopefully eliminate it for good; our enemies condemn it for defending its citizenry, as usual. Those are my main, but not sole, reasons.

I'll get out of this when my condition improves. Who knows when that will occur...

...it's cold outside now...

"Specific events will gain market attention and then fade into the background, but chaos and volatility are not going away anytime soon. An unwind of the decades-long globalization, the global de-dollarization trend, the green energy transition, and the need to develop domestic supplies of critical materials continues to destabilize the world and fuel geopolitical uncertainty."

- Neil Christensen, Kitco News, 11/03/23

...was in my part-time gig, & then what? Did I skip too many meals last week? Maybe staying up for too many nights? (I've always had nocturnal tendencies)

I started feeling *** on this past Tuesday. Now It's Wednesday & I am congested, with the runs, & my Meniere's is jacked up a bit. Not much appetite, either. All of which adds up to almost no energy or strength. The only upside to this situation is I'm catching up on my sleep.

uuuugggghhhh... 🤧 😓

I hope it's just a cold, & not some strain of Covid. If it's the latter, then I don't expect a happy--or even decent--end to 2023.

...gotta get some food. Not the best but then that's what gas stations/convenience stores are for. I have to eat. Maybe a hot bath would kill off some of the microbes?...

@slowdecline48 I hope you feel better soon. Maybe some zinc and a chest decongestant would help would help? 

@mytwistedsoul I appreciate the response. Am getting better slowly now...I did smear generic Vicks gel inside my nostrils a few times. That might've helped. Also am using an air filter in my bedroom whenever I lie down....that's the only bright spot in this whole saga: I've been getting plenty of sleep this week. Sickness forces you to lay down & not move too much.

Hot baths also can work wonders. I recommend at least one.

@slowdecline48 Good idea with the Vicks! I never gave that a thought! And the air filter is a good idea too. Especially with sleeping more. It probably helps catch any germs floating around

Plans in the morning

Flare-up k.i.lls your head of steam

Sit down, uselessly

For Thanksgiving I have no plans, & a flare-up. Gotta love the head pain & dizziness.

No, I am not thankful for it. Michael J. Fox has said his condition (Alzheimer's or something similar) is a gift from God. How he can reach such a conclusion, I can't begin to comprehend. It's a senseless position to adopt.

I've been sketching here & there...hopefully I can do more of it soon.

Am going back to bed in a bit.

...upon further thought, this piece will go in the other journal too. It has merit.

Have been in cycles lately...it's been a while since life was like this, but I've been having depressive episodes fairly often...

Should I up the dosage a bit?

...I just don't have a lot of energy lately.

CW: THE CURRENT WAR IN THE NEAR EAST

Yes, I'm still thinking about it. And the reasons for it. Said reasons are obvious to anyone sufficiently educated on the region & its history, as well as the consequences of the first two world wars. (Not everyone knows, as it's long & very complicated)

Maybe I should have more sympathy for the so-called Palestinians.* Sometimes I feel like I should...until I remember that when they held their first election in '06, they voted for Hamas in Gaza. At that point whatever sympathy I might've had evaporates, like cigarette smoke. Gaza isn't even the top priority...in my book, Judea & Samaria** should be part of Israel. If Arabs want to live there, fine. They should pay their taxes & obey Israel's laws. In other words, they can be citizens. If they don't like it, they can always go to one of the many countries of the Near East &/or northern Africa, where they would surely find a place that is sufficiently judenrein.°

Of course I've read a fair bit online in keeping up with the current war. There are always comment threads...Gonna leave one of the better comments right here:

*Though none admit it today, the majority of Palestinians are descended from what are now Jordanians. Depending on who you're dealing with there may be some Lebanese in their family trees as well.

**The more historically accurate name for what most people call "the West Bank".

°German word meaning "Jew-free".

I am not the only one in this situation.

Normally I'd say we're are all in the same boat, but a more accurate way to put it for us middle-aged loners is that we are all piloting our own boats in a wide endless sea. Because you are the only one on your boat, it's easy to forget there are others in a similar situation...but there are. Quite a few, in fact.

There's just one example here.

I don't have much in common with the guy in the video at first glance: I am not quite as healthy if his appearance is anything to go by, I've had more education (both formal & self-directed), & I'm definitely not black. But in a very basic way, his story is much like my own.

People like us live all across the developed world.... There has to be some way to connect with a few of these folks. At least some of them have to be basically decent people, due to statistical probability if nothing else.

"Lemme tell ya somethin': happiness is bulls**t. It's the great myth of the late 20th century. You think Picasso was happy?...think Hemingway was? Hendrix? They were miserable s**ts. No art worth a d**n was ever created outta happiness, I can tell ya that much. Ambition...narcissism, s.e.x, rage, those are the engines that drive every great artist, every great man.

"...a hole that can't be filled.

"That's why we're all such miserable a**holes."

- Ben Ryder (Ed Harris), Kodachrome

Am thinking I might hand-letter this...

From a while back

Some of my dreams are frightening or disturbing; others are just strange. I can't remember the last time I dreamed anything that was pleasant, or at least innocuous.

Guess that's what piled-up traumas do to one's mind...

Errrgh...

My congestion is a bit worse than usual today. I hope it's only allergies & does not turn into a cold, or flu.

Like every other part of me, my immune system has all the quality of some piece of plastic junk made in some godforsaken factory in Shenzen & put on the shelf in a Wal-Mart somewhere.

Edit: Definitely a sinus infection. I swear my immune system was made in some factory full of slaves in Shenzen.

I sure as f*** hope this doesn't spread to my lungs...

New year, but not a new me. That's why I don't do new year's resolutions...it takes more than what follows a vow made on one day to change a person, if anything follows at all. Self-improvement cannot just follow a resolution made on an arbitrary day; one must work at it all the days of one's life.

But I do have goals I want to achieve this year.

Almost forgot to add: I'm drawing again, in graphite pencil so far. It's not the kind of thing we're allowed to post in a cushiony environment like 7Cups, so you can't see it here.

I was having a particularly active dream...in it, I rolled out of the way to keep from getting sucked into a very large machine (the kinda thing you might see at a sewage treatment plant)--& rolled off my bed onto the floor where I landed on my clothes iron, back first. That is how my day started. Since then I haven't eaten anything & had to run to the john three times because, well, IBS...my GI tract is possessed by Mohtecuzoma* again.

"Happy New Year" MY A.S.S. Literally. 😡

*a more accurate transliteration of the name of the Aztec leader commonly known as Montezuma.

And let's not forget the gas. When you have IBS & it flares up, you play those muffled baritone notes... My rectal sphincter has a lot to say this afternoon.

Yes, I know it's disgusting. Welcome to middle-aged life with chronic health issues.