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my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times

slowdecline48 June 24th, 2022

The title explains itself.

If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.

Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.

I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.

Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.

If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)

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slowdecline48 OP October 11th, 2023

I have one more reason not to participate in the Religion/Spirituality Forum: the current battle between Israel & Hamas.

I may post a few items here that are related to it. If I do then please heed my warning:

My posts will be political. And yes, they will address religious topics as well.

You may feel uncomfortable looking at/reading them. If that possibility bothers you then feel free to skip them. No one is forcing you to read my journal; there are plenty of others here. But if you decide to read them, afterwards you will be more informed--about historical events, & the current conflict--then you were before, I promise you.

I've been into this stuff for a few years now. Some of it I've been into for decades. And you cannot pick up substantial parts of it from an American college education. The sad truth is that most formal education in the United States (graduate-level as well as below) is woefully inadequate. If you want substantial knowledge of certain subjects, particularly history, then in this country you have to go find it on your own.

slowdecline48 OP October 26th, 2023

Re: the Israel-Hamas conflict

To begin with, the conflict has not always been with Hamas. Before that, the conflict was between Israel & surrounding Arab countries because those countries would not recognize Israel as a legitimate state, did not believe it had any right to exist, & so their governments felt justified in attempting to wipe Israel--including all its people, not just the government--off the map. Before that, the region was a part of the British empire; before that it was part of the Ottoman empire (Turkish, & the last great Muslim empire or "caliphate"), etc. The point is that there is a ton of history leading up to the current battle. Whatever your opinion about who's right or who's wrong, you cannot make a competent judgment about it if you don't know any of the history behind it. Most people don't know it. In addition, there are various activists & other interested parties who, if you give 'em a chance, will mislead you for their own purposes. Be aware of that.

Having said that, I will add that the situation with Israel & the Palestinians has long been one of the most furiously contested among hot-button political issues. No one involved in it is without bias, & that includes me. I believe in being honest & so, dear readers, will admit my bias at the outset: I am Zionist. That means I am pro-Israel. It does not mean I am opposed to the Palestinian people in general; I think they have legitimate grievances but some of them are trying to address those grievances in the wrong way (& by blaming the wrong party). I would like to see the Israelis & Palestinians get along. Until recently I was in favor of a two-state solution, but these days I am not very positive about the prospects of a functioning Palestinian state. I think they might have a chance at success if Hamas & Fatah were gone. But I don't see that happening unless Israel decides to send in its military to do the job, which would mean lots of Arab civilian deaths, which I do not want to see. To sum up, I don't believe Israel is any less legitimate as a nation-state than any other nation-state currently on the planet. If a nation's existence or nonexistence is to be determined by past sins on its record then for moral consistency, quite a few other countries should be forcibly dismantled before Israel...the United States, Russia, Rwanda, & China would would have to go first, for sure.

Re the current battle: Hamas is definitely at fault because its jihadists attacked first, because its jihadists deliberately attacked Israeli civilians & because part of Hamas' strategy is, as usual, to keep Palestinian civilians in harm's way so that any Israeli response inflicts Arab casualties--which Hamas & allied orgs will then use as part of their anti-Israel propaganda campaign.

Now with that out of the way... My original thought was to type up a summary or timeline of the region from the beginning (btwn 1300 & 1100 B.C.E.*) to now. Luckily there are quite a few summaries out there already, so I saved myself some work. The following links are to two videos on Youtube. The first one is a short version of the history I described...the narrator (Ben Shapiro) isn't my favorite guy--he's a bit right-leaning for my taste on some issues--but on the situation with Israel, he presents it factually & minimizes his spin. The second link is to part of a Joe Rogan podcast featuring a young African-American philosopher by the name of Coleman Hughes. He is far less biased on political issues in general than most of us; because of that, he's a solid source. If you haven't judged who's guilty & who's innocent yet, watch the videos first & think it over. If you've already formed an opinion, watch the videos &, if necessary, reconsider your assumptions:

  • a brief history of Israel (& its wars)
  • Hughes' summary of the current conflict

More posts about this will follow if there is sufficient interest. If you want to read more, please let me know.

1 reply
slowdecline48 OP October 26th, 2023
*B.C.E. = Before the Common Era. It denotes the same period as B.C.--which is a Christian acronym as it stands for the Latin phrase Anno Domini, or "in the Year of our Lord". Jews, a certain %age of historians & academics, & more assertive secular folk prefer the first acronym. In the same way, C.E. is a non-Christian acronym for the period from the birth of Jesus to now.
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slowdecline48 OP October 29th, 2023

As a post of mine in the "Negative Experiences and Criticisms" thread in the R&S Subcommunity was initially censored, then restored in a bowdlerized version, I decided to put it here but closer to its original form. *sigh*...I suppose a

(TW: Inconvenient facts, expressions of violence)

is in order. Remember, no one said you had to read the following...but if you do, then perhaps you'll be a bit more informed about this issue:


"O, our people in all Arab and Islamic countries... The day has come when
anyone who has a g.u.n should take it out. Now is the time. If you do
not have a g.u.n, take up your cleaver, hatchet, axe, Molotov cocktail,
truck, bulldozer or car."

- Mohammed Deif, leader of Hamas' military wing


A high-ranking leader in Hamas issued a call for war for not just Arabs, but for all Muslims everywhere to go after all Jews everywhere. This statement was released at the same time as the attack on southern Israel. Luckily, almost no one anywhere the Middle East* or Southeast Asia responded to his call for jihad. Meanwhile, protests have been staged in several American cities where the marchers clearly picked the side of Hamas. Speakers on (& off) several university campuses blamed Israel as the sole cause of the whole conflict. They made it clear that for them, the world's only Jewish state is illegitimate & should be wiped off the map.

Does anyone remember when "globalize the intifada!" was a trendy catchphrase? It wasn't that long ago, folks...

This is not the first bad experience I've had with Islam, not by a long shot. Or perhaps it has only involved Islam's more politicized & hard-core representatives...

The usual reply is "don't judge an entire religion by the actions of a few extremists!" From a purely modern secular standpoint that makes sense...but history says otherwise. I should know since I've been into it for over a decade now. You could say I've been into it more generally for almost 20 years if you count my research during my "new atheism" phase from 2006-2010, but then I was mostly into the history of European Christendom, particularly of the Catholic church, the Reformation & Counter-reformation, & right-wing Evangelical fundamentalist activity in the US.**

The whole Israel-vs-Hamas situation has my back hair up now. It dredges up quite a few things in my memory, particularly the experience of my people in the various caliphates from the initial invasions in the 7th century up to WW1, when the Ottoman empire fell apart. (The idea of Islamic society as a paradise of ecumenical tolerance is mythical & false. It was marginally better than medieval Christendom overall, but that's about it) The conflict also brings to mind one protest in NYC where the protestors chanted "Jews, Remember Khaybar!"... (If you don't know what that refers to, Khaybar was a town in Arabia where several hundred men of a Jewish tribe were beheaded & the women & children taken as slaves. They were the losers in a conflict with Muhammad & his new Muslim community. Interestingly it is also where Muhammad himself may have died from being poisoned, depending on which sources you believe)

Another typical reply I get is "every religion has its share of fanatics." True. In all honesty I will admit: Judaism is no exception to that...unfortunate but true. But Islam is the only religion around today that produces its fanatics

  1. in greater quantity than any other religion extant, including Christianity.
  2. worldwide, including Southeast Asia, northern Africa, the United States & every country in western Europe. You can find Islamists on every continent, including ours.
  3. whose motives have considerable support from traditional religious doctrine. You can see just one of many examples of that here. (Jihad is not a new idea)


I'm trying to be fair-minded here. I swear I am. But I gotta be honest now: whenever I see a woman with a hijab on, I get a little bit nervous. Whenever I see a mosque in the West, I just can't help but think of it as a beachhead...as a sort of staging ground where the next pogrom is likely to start or where the next effort to extend Islamic dominion will start, at the expense of me & mine. If a Jew gets beaten, harassed or k*lled here & it turns out someone in Mo's fan club did it because of the current situation, I won't be surprised in the least. It certainly wouldn't be the first attack of its kind within CONUS--or outside it. 


Are these thoughts bad? Unfair, maybe? Perhaps. But I can only judge from the experiences I've had & the knowledge I've gained so far. If someone can show me a more benevolent side of Islam...one that lets me go about my business in peace &/or can deal with me as an equal instead of a 2nd-class citizen, then I'm all ears/eyes.


*"Middle East" is not the most accurate name for the region that most people think of when they hear it. Better names would perhaps be Near East (as it is closer to the West than Central Asia ("the 'Stans") or the Far East (i.e. China & Japan). Other names include MENA, for Middle East/Northern Africa, or Western Asia...that's technically correct but less familiar to most.

**This was during the Bush II years...some of you are old enough that you may remember that period. I certainly do.

slowdecline48 OP October 31st, 2023

O Michelle, lovely Lyft driver,

A slim well-preserved 50 with brown hair,

Eyes like dark chocolate & a cute smile,

Rather tall, light-skinned with cheekbones high,

Hard-working in denim over toned thighs...

...& married with two daughters & a son.


If I can muster up sufficient energy, I will deal with my disappointment & loneliness by sketching dirty pictures. Yes, I know they're not allowed here, dammit.

slowdecline48 OP November 2nd, 2023

Haven't done much lately other than what's necessary for my part-time job.

When I'm home I mostly sleep...sometimes I skip meals. Flareups don't make it any easier.

Whenever my depression becomes active, I get like this. It's almost a kind of hibernation...

The one improvement over past cycles & episodes is that instead of wasting hours of my life on (anti)social media, I lose myself in a book instead...that is, if my main condition doesn't get so bad that I can't focus enough to read. (Headache, vertigo & tinnitus will kill your concentration. Guaranteed)

As for why I'm depressed: right now my people face the same old threats. Those threats wear fashionable labels today but their essential nature has not changed. Israel's army has moved into Gaza for the ground war to cripple Hamas or hopefully eliminate it for good; our enemies condemn it for defending its citizenry, as usual. Those are my main, but not sole, reasons.

I'll get out of this when my condition improves. Who knows when that will occur...

...it's cold outside now...

slowdecline48 OP November 5th, 2023

"Specific events will gain market attention and then fade into the background, but chaos and volatility are not going away anytime soon. An unwind of the decades-long globalization, the global de-dollarization trend, the green energy transition, and the need to develop domestic supplies of critical materials continues to destabilize the world and fuel geopolitical uncertainty."

- Neil Christensen, Kitco News, 11/03/23

slowdecline48 OP November 9th, 2023

...was in my part-time gig, & then what? Did I skip too many meals last week? Maybe staying up for too many nights? (I've always had nocturnal tendencies)

I started feeling *** on this past Tuesday. Now It's Wednesday & I am congested, with the runs, & my Meniere's is jacked up a bit. Not much appetite, either. All of which adds up to almost no energy or strength. The only upside to this situation is I'm catching up on my sleep.

uuuugggghhhh... 🤧 😓

I hope it's just a cold, & not some strain of Covid. If it's the latter, then I don't expect a happy--or even decent--end to 2023.

...gotta get some food. Not the best but then that's what gas stations/convenience stores are for. I have to eat. Maybe a hot bath would kill off some of the microbes?...

3 replies
mytwistedsoul November 9th, 2023

@slowdecline48 I hope you feel better soon. Maybe some zinc and a chest decongestant would help would help? 

2 replies
slowdecline48 OP November 11th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul I appreciate the response. Am getting better slowly now...I did smear generic Vicks gel inside my nostrils a few times. That might've helped. Also am using an air filter in my bedroom whenever I lie down....that's the only bright spot in this whole saga: I've been getting plenty of sleep this week. Sickness forces you to lay down & not move too much.

Hot baths also can work wonders. I recommend at least one.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul November 13th, 2023

@slowdecline48 Good idea with the Vicks! I never gave that a thought! And the air filter is a good idea too. Especially with sleeping more. It probably helps catch any germs floating around

You're right getting sick does force you to take it easy. Glad you're getting rest :) Hope you're feeling better
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slowdecline48 OP November 20th, 2023

Plans in the morning

Flare-up k.i.lls your head of steam

Sit down, uselessly

slowdecline48 OP November 23rd, 2023

For Thanksgiving I have no plans, & a flare-up. Gotta love the head pain & dizziness.

No, I am not thankful for it. Michael J. Fox has said his condition (Alzheimer's or something similar) is a gift from God. How he can reach such a conclusion, I can't begin to comprehend. It's a senseless position to adopt.

I've been sketching here & there...hopefully I can do more of it soon.

Am going back to bed in a bit.

slowdecline48 OP November 27th, 2023

healthyhabits_1701072291.jpg

...upon further thought, this piece will go in the other journal too. It has merit.