in the wonders of my mind💗.

₅

₆

₇

_{I forgot what number I was on}

heydhfyrus

_heydjd 

_{I hate everything :’) I was grateful enough today}

_{gonna go, don’t miss me too much/j}

_{is it getting annoying xD} 

_{why are my jokes making me feel better} 

_{I’m still gonna go tho I don’t feel good}

_{at all}

_byebye 

_{today was spent in pain but mostly boredom I guess. I woke up at 5pm}

_{if I go away for like a day or two I’m gonna end up leaving again and I don’t want to} 

_{woah, such a bad time to be alive :>}

_{keep dreaming about school and thinking it’s real}

fire alarm

_1:00am

_2am

_3am

_{I’m hallucinating}

_{I keep seeing things in the corner of my eye or if I’m focusing on something else then right in front of me and I look and nothings there}

_4am

_{i saw a lizard. I’ve never seen a lizard before ever, I’ve seen a chameleon once it was so cool I could talk about it for so long. and a lot of grasshoppers :p and one time I saw an ant the size of a foot it was so huge for an ant and I screamed and I remember it so clearly it was ramadan and my brother was sick and he was sleeping and he woke up and he was like yeah it’s big but you don’t have to scream and wake me up.} 

_{omg and I saw a tiger one time}

_{right in front of me}

_{it was such an incredible moment I was half asleep tho}

_{in primary arabic we watched this story about how tigers got their black stripes}

_{it was fictional but I actually believed it :p for a pretty long time} 

_{I’ve been really wanting to run away} 

_{lalsljskwjdgegyd I really don’t know what I’m doing}

_4:28am 

_{you know I was thinking}

_maybe

_{i should start sleeping}

_{like a normal person}

_but

_see

_{the thing is}

_{i don’t want to}

_{and I’m scared to}

so.

_{I’ve had like 6 pieces of gum today I feel like it’s making me hungrier somehow} 

_{I’ve- never really understood systems :’) and now a lot of people are starting to say they think they’re part of one or something}

_{the friend that like you know left for months and left me wanting to st.ab myself} 

_sorry

_{yeah she was part of one}

_{she used to explain them really well or the best she could.} 

tw^^

_4:45am

_5:00am

_6am

_7:00am

_{somewhere online a lot of people have been talking bad about cups and showing screenshots and memes etc}

and one of my best friends was in one of the screenshots it’s so horrible.

and there are such horrible and disgusting  stuff happening

a girl was getting stalked and sa’d she met her abuser on cups which isn’t the sites fault ofcourse but ugh ew

so many screenshots from the rooms with the craziest things said in them 

someone made a whole series just about how horrible the environment is here

and I’ve watched videos about why people left

one sort of mean meme targeted at someone on here

I’m not agreeing it’s just, sad

@iloveyouxx ive seen those 😬 i dont think cups is perfect, but i feel like people give it way too little credit. Its definitely better than our irl society imo anyways-

@unassumingEyes

i was caught up writing a long post in another tab sorry T^T no I agree and you’re right our society irl is…amazing :>/sar wonderful. 

some people come on here to hurt but a lot come to help💖and sometimes I think about how everyone here is still everyone irl. it’s hopeful but most of the time I think about it when stuff is going on in rooms and it feels like something that would happen irl or at school 

cups isn’t perfect but I think being here is worth it and there are still people helping and people being helped and new friends and people that care about you so, worth it❤️

@iloveyouxx Agreed ❤️ short answer, but you said what i think literally xD and yeah, irl society has...work to do. Alot of work. Tons of work. Just break everything down and start over atp-

_{I had all the devices here hidden and no one’s allowed to let me use theirs anymore. I didn’t do anything I guess it’s just that I’ll somehow find a way to endanger myself?}

sorry for all the late replies idk when I’ll be able to come on again but I’ve been trying 

_{my aunt sent my device over to my dad because she couldn’t fix it} 

_{my dad got fired from his second job in this area and apparently there’s another situation with the case but no one’s really gonna tell me about it. I don’t wanna know I guess. the case officially closes tomorrow}

_{anyywhoo :p it’s okay. I just wanted to take the chance to come on here and say all this}

I slept at (almost) 2pm yesterday 

_{and woke up at 1:03am today :’)}

_{thats 11 hours without being in pain. or being hungry or bothered or scared.} 

_{felt so surreal waking up then I didn’t know where I was}

_{I wanna go back to sleep.}

ice died today.

@iloveyouxx Oh no! This is such sad news 😞 Ice was such a pretty cat. I bet Ice's buddy is feeling alittle lost too