in the wonders of my mindš.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnāt look like meš§makes sense doesnāt itšsince there can only be one *me*āØone of a kind now arent Iš/sar. one out of 8118835999āØš·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youāre also one of a kindš sorrysorry haha :Pš¤im just messing around xDšalso itās 2am- but shush no snitchingš¤«Iāll sleep in a whilešwhen Iām feeling a bit more sane :>šš©·
wanted to have my own space.š for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.š
to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šplease dont lurk here.š©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šbut please be respectfulš©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pš yāall get crazy nosy haha- itās alright.šnothing too interesting will be here anywayšif you would like to come in and be supportive itās completely okiešbut please donāt make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšbecause Iād still like this to be just my space ^-^š)
right before I go to sleep thereās always such a realistic vision or kinda. video- that plays in my mind and it always feels so real.Ā
..they wouldnāt let me go home because my dad wouldnāt pick up.
im so tired. I donāt wanna say anything.Ā
anything I say. wont be great. and every time someone asks I just cry so ***.(me-)
im so tired.
10/26. 4/12.Ā
please. I canāt.Ā
I hope the drama gets so bad they actually jump me so I get so severely injured that Iām in a co.ma for the rest of my life.
see? no crisis ***. itās just a coma.Ā
slee.ping forever and dying arenāt the same.Ā
I swear I hope I di.e.
i hope I d.ie.
today I just. I didnāt "attempt". donāt assume it.Ā
I just walked far past that security guy and waited for the cars so I could start walking.Ā
there were a couple of those white ish buses and one black car.
i was tired. no big deal. I just made my steps smaller. taking my time.Ā
donāt rush. itās not huge.
and some. I think he was an english teacher. pulled me out the way.Ā
like are you insane? *** manic like bro if I die itās my fault.-
ā¦ā¦
I hope I d.ie.
i hope someone just. gets r.id of me for everyone.
i reallyĀ
really
wanna
di.e.
do everyone a favor.
you were born to di.e.Ā
itās pain to pain ofcourse youāre hurting.Ā
you literally donāt matter.Ā
like actually.Ā
not just self hate.Ā
you donāt matter.
youre nothing to no one no one cares.
actually no one cares.
stop trying.Ā
it wont even matter later on.
you canāt change someone for the better. no one cares about that.
if you wanna d.ie go ahead. literally everyone wants you de.ad but theyre not gonna ki.ll you. so go ahead. Itās really not that hard when you think about it. you love making everyone happy go ahead and make them happy.
just. di.e.
@iloveyouxx
*hugs if okay* no nadsies these are meanie thoughts that your brainie wants you to believe. :(Ā
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awe.Ā :')šhugs are okay.šbut i think yur wrongĀ :')šor maybe my brainie is just really smart and aware :Pšthese are the truest things Iāve said heheš©·Iām not gonna lie to myselfĀ :')šhonestly I donāt like it when people do that. saying things to yurself thatre obviously not true.š¤you canāt denyĀ :'PšthankyuššI luv yuš©·
@iloveyouxx
it's because you are a colourful hooman bean who canāt really see the colour in herself right now. šĀ
@iloveyouxx
:( tbh i think it understandable that youād believe otherwise. after years and years and years of being hurt, at school, at home, even online (including on cups which includes ni friend hurting you also) you start to believe you deserve it and you start to believe people want youā¦ mmmmm. unalive :( but it not true. you donāt deserve the hurt and idk what exactly happens at school but i know itās not good š ik people donāt treat you kindly there :( what happens there it not your fault and even though you been going through it for so so long that doesnāt mean you deserve it :') :') :') and nadsies you donāt deserve what happens at home either :(Ā
itās hard to learn to love yourself and itās hard to accept that you are lovable and that there are people who actually love you and care about you. after everything you been through nadsies tbh i think your brainie has completely convinced you that no one cares about you and that people want youā¦ mmmm. š ik you probably wonāt believe me and even if other people might say it you wonāt believe it :( but me thinks you are lovable and you are cared about šĀ
(no pressure to reply, im so sorry i took so long to reply)Ā
Iām just gonna. go do math homework.
xD still the most Iāve ever gotten xDšššššššš©·ššš©·šš©·šš©·šššš©·
i luv my frendsš©· coughcoug-evasoulni-cough-/j/j/jš
@iloveyouxx
math homework is so ew :( also iāve run out of hearts again ugh š why 7cups just whyĀ
dude nvm, cups is being weird and glitching? like it literally looked like i ran out of hearts and after i post that my upvote shows up? um okay - cups.Ā
@LoveMyMoonflowers
aaynabbwngabahaajjajajjjjjehsjwnajajw cups w7wjwjoss smhhhhhhh- it gets so confusingš
math homework really is ew >:š¤itās so hard too T^TšI finished the 90 question one but every wednesday we get math hw so right after I finished that we got like a 60 qs one TvTšand we have pt tests and our end on year grades depend on sum other tests and the pt test and I got a 10/26 in one of them so I need to do really good in the ptšyeah Iām not making it to year9āØš©·
Ā Ā šŖ
āØš³ļøāØ-
@iloveyouxx
it really does. one day i was like *smh cups* the entire time i was cupsing that day because the site was just being weird in so many different ways lmao.Ā
jesus christ that is too much homework. 60 questions - *math* questions - is already very bad :/ but 90 questions? yeah no thatās not fun :/Ā
for me i was actually good at math for a few years until i got to year 9 math. and now itās just hard and it just sucksĀ
i still havenāt finished today's math homework D: D: D:Ā
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*smh*
ššššnot funššlol what do you mean I love itšššššš©·I kinda- strongly dislike :Dšmy math teacher :Dš©·
huh how TvTš¤Iāve always sucked at mathššššāØšI was just good at everything in late primary but niššI needa tell yu a story I just rememberedšš
su. this was year1 rightšI remember that it was year1 becos of the teachers thereš©·su this was a completely other school and there we had the same teacher and substitute teacher for every single subject right :Pš©·so we were taking really simple math and idk how this came up but- I remember this so well idk why-šit was a math test and we were taking really really simple math and one question musta said "work out: 0+1" becos at the time we were still learning what the numbers even were-
the seating plan was basically- like tables making the shape of a half square around the class-? idk. and our teachers were there becos at the time questions during a test were allowed. and I remember raising my hand for every single one of them :D every single one :D and basically I got to that "work out: 0+1"šand the sub teacher basically repeated it to me literally- and I asked what 0 was- and ni :ā)šthe way she almost lost it-šI feel so bad what-šlike she put her hands on her hair and she was like its zero but she was yelling :D I wasnāt scared or anything I was such a dumb childšand the teacher was calming the sub teacher down and at this point they were just telling me the answers cos they got sick of me-
ā¦ā¦..
im too smartttt :Dš§ š« š©·
D: D: D: alsu can I ask what year9 math is like TvTšmy brothers in year10 and itās so hard for him and heās having mock exams soon D:š
ni..if yu need anything in math :Dš©·Iām the persun to ask okay?ššš
@iloveyouxx
i actually take forever to reply to things :( *ugh ni why just why* šĀ
iām homeschooled so i have a math teacher and donāt at the same time? lol that doesnāt make sense :P itās more likeā¦ i have pre-recorded lessons that i watch online - so i kinda have a video tutor - and then i have to do the homework and assignments and read my textbooks. but my video tutors for math in 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade and 7th grade (years 5, 6, 7 and 8) were pretty good. so idk i think because they explained things so well i could wrap my brain around math. even when i didnāt pay attention much sometimes and i was just distracted lmao, i could wrap my brain around the math (*most of the time* - so - there were times that didnāt fit into that *most of the time* :D)Ā
yay story time with nadia š and iām sorry i literally ranted way too much about my schoolybobs life and math š iām so sorry šĀ
idk why that made me laugh but it was cute and precious somehow at the same time š„ŗ i donāt think your teacher yelling at you was right though friend :( i mean, itās year 1, these are little teeny tiny kids your talking about. i donāt think you were dumb š academics doesnāt necessarily determine/define intelligence. š itās okay š and you were little too, when i was little i had such i hard time writing the number 8. i would just put two circles on top of each other because i was a literal genius šāØ /lh and /jk lol iām not a genius :PĀ
um - tbh i think she should have a been a little more patient with you. you. were. a. freaking. child. she could have said āzero is the number before oneā and if you asked what one was, she could have taken some time to explain things because 1) itās year 1 and you said you all were still learning the numbers at the time and 2) asking questions/getting questions answered were allowed š sometimes i feel like there are so many teachers out there who donāt even love kids, or teens, or whoever theyāre teaching š and they donāt even love teaching. :') :') i wish there were more patient, understanding teachers š i donāt think you were or are dumb at all friend. these teachers, and other kids, and justā¦ peopleā¦ have made you feel that way and after so many years of it all, the thought has kinda solidified in your mind :( orā¦ maybe what i said didnāt make any sense and i misunderstood you. if i did - iām very sorry š *big hugs for you if okay*Ā
um - iām not sure how to describe it :P itās hard for me š my curriculum might be different from yours but for me year 9 math includes a lot of basic algebra :( some basic geometry and idkā¦ āØ math āØ iām not good at explaining things in general, but iām even worse when it comes to trying to explain math-related stuff šš the curriculum my parents have chosen for me for the past several years is american and ik that's definitely different from the british curriculum (iām sorry if i misunderstood you again - ni friend kinda thought/guesses that nadsey friend's curriculum is the british one š)Ā
idk if your brother is nice or not so iām not sending any luck to him lol until ik whetherā¦ mmm. :') :')Ā
and if you need anything in math, iām the person to ask, too š„ŗ (omgeee kidding lol š¤£)Ā
@LoveMyMoonflowers
:0 D: I was going back and forth checking if the reply popped up and Iām late smh- I didnāt get notified at allšš
>: are yu scared of meššitās okayyššššIām not madšššIām later probably-Ā
I wish I was homeschooledĀ :'Pšbut I knuw it probably has its own strugglesš©·this reminds me of the fact my old math teacher from last year (but only every like tuesday I thinkš¤) has a yutube channel hehe xDšouuh that makes sense all my teachers suck sm :Pšno offense.š©·but all they do is sit on their high chair with their computer and they tell us to copy off the board- we basically teach ourselves and anything yu do wrong they just..goshĀ :') they just go wild. and yeah.š¤teachers here suck at teacheringš¤I think itās also yur huge big brain powerššššš§ š§ ā”ļøā”ļøš©·yur literally so smart :Pš§ š§ š§ ššššāØthat yur brain doesnāt fit in yur headššāØāØš§ š§ š§ ā”ļøā”ļøā”ļøšbecos itās too big :PāØš§ šand if sum teacher just arenāt the best at teachering thatās not anyone but their fault :Pš
ā¦lol do yu hate meš/lh I was scrolling up our whole convo to see where yu ranted too much xD T^Tš©·calm down hehe yur okiešš/lh yeeyyyy storytime hehe xDšš
I was 5 hehe :PxDšI also had an example in a science qs and it included a spider and I asked what a spider was T^Tš
omigod what :0 I did thatšbruh my brother kept trying to teach me as in like so slowly like first draw an S..continue the line upward..connect it to that line..- and Iād make the weirdest shapesšI learnt it so late-
shushssuhshsh yu so are a genius :3āØš©·š/lh
nunu yur right- god stop doubting yurself luvlyš©·all my teachers are literally- not even obsessed- just addicted to making kids lives as miserable as thereās when they were that agešpeople make jokes about the arabic teachers being in toxic relationships and all that- and one day I have no idea how- my arabic teacher was so smiley and nice (it was so temporary but issokie :Pš©·) and everyone was saying she musta divorced her toxic husbandš?-Ā
actually tho our teachers are so bad TvTš1 minute late standards cardā ļøitās a complicated systemšI only have 2 male teachers which in term1 it was none and theyāre literally so- bleh- my english teacher is nice ish but he targets me a ton and literally todayšhe was talking and idk what he said cos I was distracted but he said "because I know some of you donāt have the best eyesight *stares at me for a minute straight*" like wow okayššwowšš©·becos I sit closest to the digital and normal board but I always have to zoom in and take pictures becos I canāt see whatās written everĀ :')š©·I donāt hate him thu cos heās actually good ish at teachingšmy geography teacher is just a nightmare and my math teacher is soĀ bad Iām sorry but I kinda hate her T^T? I have too many teachers for this-š¤
hugs are okayšsqueezies yu tightš
ā¦huh howd yu- howd yu know lmaoo TvTš©·actually thatās su impressive what did I say :0šyus Iām in the british curriculumšI think it depends on the school but Iāve been to bothš©·it really is so differentĀ :')šdo yu take indices :0š¤standard formš¤? uhhhmm what do I take- idk- bidmas XDDšnvm I donāt focus-š©·
nuu heās not hehe no luck to himĀ :'PšāØ
šš¤£nouuu yur smarttt i literally wrote in the last test on the easiest question it was like "work out: y^2+y^2+y^2" and I wrote "y^6"šššša lot of people made that mistake but it was "3y^2"š
I would totally ask yuš¤āØš©·
@iloveyouxx
i think cups only notifies us of the most recent tags in threads. i wish they didnāt do that :( i wish they would notify us of every tag, things would be so much easier when it comes to replying and posting then. šĀ
aww no iām not scared of you š dw friend š and i didnāt think you would be mad š i just said i thought i was late because i saw it a little more than 10 minutes after it was posted lol - i was kinda doing a few things at once including cupsing - i thought i was late but thatās just me. i was like wow ni you saw it late š± how could you š± and then i took ~20 minutes or so to respond. and now iām sitting here wonderingā¦ how is seeing a reply ten minutes later late? š¤ it depends on the situation i guess. šĀ
itās basically likeā¦ home life and school life - theyāre one and the same. which can be a good thing in some ways and a bad thing in other ways - it really depends on the person/situation though. š some homes are safer than others :') ā¦i used to have a friend here who was homeschooled like me. at the time (i was 13 then) i liked being homeschooled so thatās what i told her š but she said she wasnāt quite fond of it all. :') so i guess whether itās good or not so good, it depends on the person and the situation. (i havenāt heard from this friend since october of last year btw :( itās scary, idk what might have happened to her. i really miss her... š)Ā
iām sorry all your teachers suck :( from what youāve written i can tell your school life definitely isnāt that fun. š iām v sorry nadsey beanie :( *big hugs* š itās also silly and mean of your classmates/other kids to assume things and make jokes about teachers' personal lives :/ i guess people will be people, kids will be kids. there are meanie mcbeanie students everywhere and i suppose meanie mcbeanie teachers are in great abundance too - but i wish there were more teachers who actually cared. š *massive comfy hugs for you* :')Ā
i donāt hate you smh š„ŗ *more hugs for you* /gen š i just thought i ranted too much lol š¤·š»āāļø *calms down* šĀ
awww. for some reason i just melted when i read that lol. why is that so freaking cute š„ŗš tbh i donāt like spiders :/ they be scary š the way they crawly wawly. also iām not kidding here lmao but when i wrote āi donāt like spidersā i just touched my neck just to make sure one wasnāt crawling on me and judging me silently lol šĀ
your v sweet š me thinks it hard not to doubt self often times but thank you for being so kind and reassuring nadsies š
i wish i could give you a real hug :( it makes me sad that you have such meanie mcbeanie teachers and the students at your school are another story. :') š you wrote to me that your school life is not good at all - you wrote that yesterday i mean :( but i think i actually genuinely understand what you mean now :/Ā
um well - i knew because you say āyearā instead of āgradeā soā¦ i kind of concluded that your in the british one. š i feel so dumb now lol š but i seriously have no idea what indices or standard form or bidmas are. :') *confuzzled*Ā
heās not getting any luck from me then :') (your brother sounds meanie also š)Ā
lol it might be a better idea to ask a calculator or google or an AI - instead of me. š šĀ
iām not sure if the tag got nommed for this one nadsie buddy @iloveyouxx no pressure to reply of course š ik you have a lot of tags coming in every day and a lot of different posts/replies to respond to š
@LoveMyMoonflowers
omg ni helpā ļøI just asked chatgpt "What is a scale factor in maths" (becos Iām still doing my math hwĀ :'Pš¤) and- "In mathematics, a scale factor is a number that scales." ā¦ā¦.. :DĀ
I didnāt even get this or the second notificationĀ :')š©·
wait ni I just got a question right :0šIām going back and forth to do my math homework and right now itās 85% completed :Pš¤I counted and thatās 8 questiuns left :0šbut I usually like- how I finish math homework is really specific TvTš©·becos most of my homework are on device and websites- unless itās like science or english or history or sumthing :Pšbut this and last year Iāve had the same (nightmare of a- :>)math teacher and weāve never had homework that wasnāt on this same website :P and we get homework every wednesday due the next wednesday :Pšthats why I know the percentages I finished and at the end I know like how many I got wrong- but basically I just go on all of them and- hold on lemme get a photo-
I donāt really have anything to hide Iām pretty sure su nothings like cropped but basically I saved the hardest for lastšš« š©·
lol and Iām 3days late :Pš¤yur point XDTvTš©·omge 20minutesš±šessayingš±š? I seriously take hours on a normal replyšmy brain is so slowšš
:0 ni :0 youāve come to a realization :0 nuu I donāt think itās late for any situation TvTšunless itās like an emergency and yu were just staring at the screen for 10 minutes straight whjwoehdnwm :P:3šbut sumtimes I just see a reply and I keep the notification there to reply to it later when I donāt feel like it- and sumtimes it takes ages for me to feel like it and thats okiešš
Iām gonna save it until this part and go do math :0 then Iāll come back and reply to the restš
I kinda wish I was homeschooled- I just scrolled up to my reply and realized I already said that :P and thats what yu were replying to :Pš D: id be so scared Iām so sorry >:š©·honestly- I kinda. grewāØ. this mindestĀ :') where atp every time sumone says theyāre leaving, permanently or not, or leaving-leaving or just leaving cups I just canāt believe it anymoreĀ :') I just know theyāll come back. and they literally always doĀ :')š©·itās nothing bad. mostly because I knew and knuw alot or cupshoomans and cupsfriends that would say theyāre leaving like every dayĀ :')šand come back 5hours later. and just act like itās all normalĀ :')š©·idk. nothing bad against them. It is hard. but they literally set their account on break or deactivated and say sumthing literally insane before~leaving~then thereās that whole group of people that go crazy and I justĀ :')šitās kinda. predictable. alittle more than kinda- Iāve never had a friend that actually left and never came back >: Iām su sorry >: i really donāt know how thatdĀ feelšoctober is like 2months before I joined :P atleast yu have meāØ/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j(complete joke lmao- I thought I didnāt like say it enough ;-;- just incase-) but really >: I hope theyāre okay..šš
my dads gonna kill mešI have like 4qs left- Iāll just speeden it up-š
hugsšI love you.š
friend Ive thought of a list of nicknames :3šni(obviously-)ninibeanie, nini, nibiscuit(idk where this came from-š§ āØš« )ninibear, nibear, niloaf(if love/luv isnāt okie with yuš)moonbeam,
ni I actually stopped writing a long time ago to finish my math and guess what lmaošI finished itšIām actually so happy Iām jumping and my dad left toošIād go on caps but thats possibly a trigger to yušbut Iām so happy whwjjajakakahsjnsjašššo and and ni guess whatšsince this assignment was pt prep itās actually due on may20šIām so happy but idk why it said due this week but when I clicked on it it shows the actual due date but Iām so happyšš
omg noo me and insects TvTš¤I saw an ant in like the swimming changing rooms(I never actually do swimming dwāØ)and likešbasically :DšI was sitting with these 2 girls. one of them was the one Iāve mentioned a bit here :P included in alot of drama and lots of rumors about her- threats and graffiti and lies and idk :Pš©·and the other girl was her friend. yk when. for example itās so hot yu donāt care who sumone is to yu you just start relating about how hot it is and all that T^Tšso basically :D me and "S"(the victim of the whole thing :Pš©·) didnāt have water TvTšlike ofc the one time-š¤and girl3 had water so S basically..sucks ;-; at "skying" and I do too ;-;š¤so I was just laughing at her xDš©·lightheartedly- we were laughing with her- and I was so desperate for water I just tried whatever that isšand they kept staring at me so much- and I was like whyāre yu looking at me so judgementally I canāt do thisšthen S said she was waiting for me to spill it everywhere so she could laugh and that made me laugh and actually spill it everywhere and her laugh made me laugh more TvTš¤but basically :D idk why I had to put so many details- Iām honestly really lonely at school :D but for 2 swimming lessons I just talk to sum people becos my swimming set doesnāt really care :Pšbut basically I had to fill the water bottle like 7 times becos I kept finishing it :DāØand then :D this girl in my science class thats also horrified of insects was helping me cos the cold water wasnāt working cos basically the thing the water bottle pushes to poor water was completely. ripped off. these are so many unnecessary details xDšbut the water thing is short so I was sitting and then she pointed out thatāØ~thing~āØand my blindness had to get moleseculy~ close to it to see it TvT and- :D :D :D you get it :D :D :D
i have trauma w insects T^T even ants- and then the 3rd girl kept pointing out that the fly was there and Iād get scared xD it wasnāt in a meanie way thoš©·
hehe. yu donāt know about the students at my school :3 theyāre really. really. heartlessĀ :') I could tell yu stories but. Iāve yapped enough in this whole thing already xDš
omg xD the british school words are so weird and silly and thats what I always thought but I got too used to itš"whiteout" instead of "corrector"š? but now I only ever automatically say whiteoutšI thought "timetable" was a math thing but thats just schedule TvTš¤maths insteada mathšand then all the things like reading ageāØ9+ 0-āØ"primary, secondary, senior"āØgcseāØsltāØthe dumbest of standardsāØ"wElLbEinG"āØIām sorry but they talk about it for hours and they genuinely couldnāt care less T^T if you told them um for example yur parents tw abuse yu or sumthing theyād literally call the parents even if you cried infront of them for 2 hours telling them itād make it so much worse- not experience- just similar I guess but not my experience :P idk. Iām not gonna go on about it for too long but the counsellors just pure evil. they act like theyāre such a fancy healthy school with well reached standards and education when. god itās just. nvm.šĀ
I keep getting carried away- really :00000000?š¤howww :000000 wait then :0 what do yu take :0 in math :0š¤
awwe hehe when he goes psycho and destroys the world around him almost killing me I choose to think heās possessed :>
D: Iād rather be yur friend than have that chatgpt4 version for free D: (and trust me..idk if yu saw when I said it but my older cousin was part of the people who created chatgpt and he has the payed version and itās so.Ā good, but yu and sum ai are incomparable- yur way better smh :PšIād ask yu about a life changing decision xDšchatgpt would just say sum basic like "it's important to carefully weigh your options and consider the potential consequences. Seek advice from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can offer different perspectives. Ultimately, trust your instincts and choose what aligns best with your values and long-term goals." like. :P? exactly. ni is susussususuusususu smart and trustworthyšI think Iād ask yu xDš
I started writing this at 3sumthing and now itās 9:32- TvTš
āØšŖāØ
āØš³ļøāØ
@iloveyouxx
bruhā¦ whatās all this talk about people saying chatgpt's so amazing when that answerā¦ š um just to give you an idea of my dumbness lol idk what a scale factor is šš š¤£ maybe i learnt it some time around and i wasnāt paying attention or i learnt it and i just donāt remember now lolĀ
whaaaa :') cups is so silly :') *smh Cupsies McOopsies*Ā
dude idk how i feel about your math teacher lol part of me feels like yeeting him š¤ for me my math homework is justā¦ like on paper lol. but my quizzes and tests and exams are digital/online. idk if this will help you or not but itās helped me hehe itās this site:Ā https://www.symbolab.com/Ā i think they have an app too but i havenāt tried that yet. what do you think? :o *no pressure* they kinda show the steps to solve the problem too
dw it takes a while for me to reply too š i donāt think itās that your brain is slow, in this case you were doing something else whilst writing this reply š and you took some time to take that screenshot, and in your other replies you choose gifs too š so itās okay, i donāt think your brain is slow. your just thoughtful and one way i can see your thoughtful and considerate is - you use tone tags to help the other person know what kind of tone your message has š which is helpful š /genĀ
nadia. omg omg omg omg. idk why iām like āomgā š„ŗ but maybe itās because iām like *that* *is* *literally* *the* *exact* *same* *thing* *that* *i* *do* š i literally do that with so many replies. like i just leave the notification there if i donāt have the mental energy to reply to it just thenā¦ and if i peek out of curiosity i bookmark the page lol but either way it takes me forever to respond to some things :( this is actually the first time someone else told me they do this too lol š„ŗĀ
by saying that you just gave me an ideaā¦ i should do that too, with replies i mean. but how do you save half-written replies? like in the diary space in your private tab of your profile? or your notes app? :oĀ
hehe yeah thatās what i was replying to š šĀ
nadsies š i think itās like, kind of an intuition. š and makes sense youād develop that over time with that kind of situation because tbh i have the same thing, thereās always a tiny part of me thatās scared they wonāt come back but likeā¦ most of me, iām like - nah theyāre most likely gonna come back. š iāve done this too. say something crazy, in my diary space or in rooms and deactivate my account and come back a few hours later. i think most of the time when this happens people are justā¦ triggered, or something crazy or upsetting happened here, and their mind quickly goes to that one conclusion ofā¦ leaving. ik most of the time iāve done that, i was triggered. :') i understand what you mean by it being quite predictable though šĀ
yeahā¦ i hope sheās okay too. i really miss her :( her birthday's literally and i mean literally one day before mine. hers is on november 5 and mine's on november 6. so we always called each other birthday twins when we're actually almost-birthday-twins lol. š idk what happened to herā¦ because if you check her profile, every month it says she's active. it still saysā¦ ālast active may 2024ā but no matter what time i get on i never see her in rooms or forums, and justā¦ i know sheās not here. thereās a small chance she might beā¦ but idk iām just scared :( and iām sorry iām ranting about my friend lol :')Ā
awww. š„ŗ yeah it was two months before you joined hehe š i remember when you joined. š i remember you said you thought you were cringe as a newbie but i think you've just always been really sweet and funny and kind to literally everyone š i think most people here feel like they were cringe as newbies. ik i was super cringe as a newbie lol. iāll show you my first post - here just behold the cringe of my first post, nadsies, just behold. š¤£ it was supposed to be a thread in which people could share their ālittle thoughtsā (thoughts are seldom little, iāve now realised š§) but the thread literally just died so quickly @_@Ā
*hugs you back tight, but not too tight* wuv you too lovely š alsoā¦ whaaaaaaaa, am i supposed toā¦ um?! ššš iām melting, those nicknames š„ŗššš what do i say šš i already have nini š„ŗ but ninibean and nibiscuit, ninibear, nibear, niloaf, moonbeam im š„ŗššš how do you come up with just the cutest nicknames possible?! š„ŗ a big *yes* to all of them š„ŗš (this one paragraph became so yellow and blue because of the emojis lol)Ā
i've already got nadsies, nadsey, nadsey beanie for you š but you can beā¦ nadialoaf, nadseybearā¦ (whatever you're comfy with okie?) but iām actually so horrible at making nicknames :( when i nickname people it kinda just happens naturally but when i do it intentionally itās just hard :') iām actually so dumb lol šĀ
awwwwww. iām proud of you š /gen and since youāve finished it early that means - well, thatās a lot of saved time for you š it means you donāt have to work on it for the next week or so - until the due date :) thatās awesome š also iāll say one thing lol i wrote ādewā instead of ādueā the first time š¤¦š»āāļø but then i was like bruh we're talking about schoolybobs, not plants *smh ni*Ā
spiders are actually arachnids š theyāre not insects. idk what the difference is, i donāt remember. sciencey stuff āØ iām not good at science :P š Ā
ewwwww no no no no we donāt like insects ew š ugh. iām sorry friend :/ also iām gonna thank you for telling me this story because i havenāt had any water in a few hours and you just reminded me to go get some soā¦ šĀ
my bottle didnāt have much water left in it :( so i finished it all up now but iām too lazy to go refill it right now lol š thank you for reminding me š Ā
iām sorry you're lonely at school thoughā¦ š tbh i donāt really think most people there are very nice company anywaysā¦ by what iāve read from this diary space and from what youāve told me i can deduct that most of them are meanie mcbeanie bullies :/ but still, that doesnāt take away the lonelinessā¦ :( even when we talk to people sometimes every now and thenā¦ we may still feel lonely. we can be surrounded by people on all sides, and still feel lonely at heart. š :')Ā
aww donāt worry i donāt think your āyappingā or talking too much or anything, itās okay. sometimes when we talk about things it can bring some kind of catharsis š so dw š besides you need some place to talk about the crazy things going on at school :( being silent just makes it hurt more. š silence is easier i guess, itās hard to talkie about things butā¦ silence can hurtā¦ :(Ā
lmao š those words are funny š¤š
tw/mention of abuse - butā¦ tbh, sounds a lot like your school's being pretty fake with all the āwellbeingā stuff and all. š if they actually understood what abuse is like at home they wouldnāt do that š i feel like so many people, literally so many peopleā¦ schools, even crisis lines, sometimesā¦ they donāt actually genuinely care but they want it to look like they care. :/ i think pretending to care does just as much damage as not caringā¦ thoughā¦ :') :')Ā
umā¦ this year i have pre-algebra? š idk what itās supposed to be called i feel so stupid š
oh no friendā¦ *huggles you* š„ŗ he sounds vvv meanie then, worse than meanie, really š idk what to say šĀ
awwwwļ»æ š your way too sweet š i wish i could hug you forever šĀ
she asked why I got pulled out by our lead teacher with the worst girl in that group involved. which- long story short-apparently I said "why do you wear so much makeup are you like insecure?" and apparently I also announced that girls BMI to everyone- which- I donāt even know her bmi how would I know that-
Iām not mad. my lead teacher obviously believed me but she pretended to not know what to believe and all that.Ā
the girl got called out in the first place becos a primary student witnessed her mocking me or sumthing. and she admitted to that but just changed the story so she got a b3 sanction anyway.
the fake crying-
the fake victim voice and act-Ā
i :ā)
not worth it.