in the wonders of my mindđ.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnât look like međ§makes sense doesnât itđsince there can only be one *me*âšone of a kind now arent Iđ/sar. one out of 8118835999âšđ·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youâre also one of a kindđ sorrysorry haha :Pđ€im just messing around xDđalso itâs 2am- but shush no snitchingđ€«Iâll sleep in a whileđwhen Iâm feeling a bit more sane :>đđ©·
wanted to have my own space.đ for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.đ
to whoever's coming across :'3đplease dont lurk here.đ©· I know anyone can have access to this forum :')đbut please be respectfulđ©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pđ yâall get crazy nosy haha- itâs alright.đnothing too interesting will be here anywayđif you would like to come in and be supportive itâs completely okieđbut please donât make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitđbecause Iâd still like this to be just my space ^-^đ)
I complimented one of their makeupđand I kept telling that specific girl all the time- no I keep telling her that sheâs so pretty and that sheâs literally gorgeous- and when sheâd go on about her perfect bf Iâd just compliment her the whole time all like yeah ofc like literally you can get any guy you want- and then she asked me if I had a bf and I said no I wasnât as perfect as her and that everyone should be so jealous and all that- then another time she talked about this drama with another girl and I told her she was just jealous cos I mean look at you she literally just wants to be you and canât get over her own insecurities- on random days I complimented her hair and makeup and some things sheâd bring to school-Â
id really never just blurt out infront of her friends "why do you wear so much make up- are you like insecure??" :â) Iâm literally scared of her with her friends and itâs so obvious that sheâs not a victim-
i donât compliment her because weâre friends. sheâs obsessed with herself and it makes her go crazy happy :â) as much as I hate her for hurting so many people I like seeing her happy.Â
I didnât even report her because Iâm not even like that.Â
Idk. I just feel like I didnât really do anything and now they target me even more.
they just kept staring at us-
which- really- I donât care-..
the girl said if they ask weâll just tell them I was explaining why I was pulled out. Itâs not like I said anything bad.
we already decided if they do anything after the head of year gave that speech weâre just reporting it.
Iâm so done like itâs such unnecessary drama. and those 2 girls lied to me about the fact that main girl in the group was planning to apologize and that they were already friends and talked the day before and all that. I hate being used as like someone that heard this and that itâs not funny because I genuinely thought they were just gonna stop.
@iloveyouxx Life is hard enough without outside people causing drama and making things worse than they need to be
@mytwistedsoul
so true. :(Â
because I knew what my friend was reporting about and thatâs the only reason they wanted to talk to me.
they wanted to know because they knew it was about the main girl in that group so they wanted to tell her to apologize before the girl finds out and makes the drama worse.
and it was a lie.
I didnât tell them anything either way tho. I just said apparently sum group confronted her about sum stuff she never did. I didnât say I knew it was them or anything like that.
oya I forgot :0 I canât find the convo tho-
that was the last of 20 slides but helpđđ-
how did I forget-
@mytwistedsoul
@iloveyouxx Aww that's ok I'm actually pretty forgettable tbh lol
@mytwistedsoul
forgettable xD wait it didnât put the red line thing- thatâs actually a wordđđ©·I thought itâd be forgetful but I guess that works too xDđ
me too tho my memory is so horrible TvTđ
the gif is so adorableđ„șđ€đ
@iloveyouxx Yep it's word! Do people get upset because you forget things? Aww glad you like it - I haven't see that one before today
@mytwistedsoul
im sorry :0đI didnât mean to poof for so longđbeing so popular can get overwhelming :D:đ/j/j/j/j/j/j/sar/sar/sar-đ€
mm idk. I hav no one to forget things about irl xD Iâm almost mute irl. unless yu talk to me and Iâm forced to talk to yuđ©·I donât forget names I think- I only forget sum when I- really deperately need to know them xDđI forget things thu like what day it is and soul. every. single. time. I check the timeđevery single time. I forget it in literally a secondđand then I check again and Iâm like ohh yeah yeah yeah. and then Iâm like wait what- and I swear I canât remember itđ
and I forget classes. omg and soul yk we have this really specific schedule and yu have to look at it and for example itâd show yu have "Science G018" and g018 is where itâs meant to be- g is ground floor f first s second and t is third floor- thatâs a ton more staircases than it should be- and the numbers arenât even in order and every single thursday last 2 lessons I have math and history- idk in which order but- every single time I mix them upđI just mainly forget the really really important things other than those :Pđ€what about yuđ?
btw friend I never asked :0 and I donât want to say anything wrong or anything and completely nfta but can I ask what yur pronouns aređ?/nfta
omggeeeeeđ„șđ„șđ„șđ„șđ„șđđđđđđđđđ©·đđ©·đđđđđđđ©·đđđđI cannotđđđđđ„șđđđđđđđ©·đ
@iloveyouxx Aww no worries đ It get's kind of hectic trying to stay on top of things if there's a bunch of things going on here. And there's never a time line or time limit to reply
Tbh - this is pretty much the only place I socialize. I keep to myself most of the time - I don't have friends in real life. Anxiety makes me awkward and depression gives me no desire to even try anymore
I do that with the time too tbh I try to keep track of it too and i still loose track of it lol which is almost funny now that I think about it đ Tbh I forget alot of things. I can walk into a room and forget what I walked in for. I can forget what I'm saying while I'm saying it - which really screws up conversations with people because I feel stupid when that happens. Sometimes I forget where I'm going while I'm going there - that's always fun. I seem to be good at forgetting the good things but I always remember the bad things
Wow they have you running all over the place for classes! That would be so stressful too - maybe that's why you mix the them up and can't remember which one is first?
You don't have to worry about what you ask - If it's something I don't want to answer I just politely ignore it đ I don't freak out or anything. I think you might be the first person who's ever asked me my pronouns đ€ I guess they're he/they
Omgosh they're so cute! That first one just wants to be held đ
@mytwistedsoul
omg soul :0đhavenât yu heard about the đ emoji backstory :0/lhđi mean TvTđ€itâs okie when sum innocent clueless genuinely nice and with good intention hoomans use it butđyu cant tell me it doesnât look creepyâŠ.."đ"đđđđđđđđđđđ/lh
thankyu for being so understandingđ I love yu friend <3./p
>:đthat sounds really sad >:đđanxiety and depression are honestly so just the worst.đitâs okay if socializing feels daunting right now. or like a whole task.đIâm not gonna tell you to try and take small steps or any of that :')đ©·because I know itâs not that simple.đI know it can feel isolatingđngl sum people arenât really worth the energy huh xDđ©·no socializing=no hurt is probably a bad mindset I need to get out of xDđyour effort is commendable even if it doesnât feel that wayđ©·I relate to the anxiety thing way too much :')đ€way too much T^Tđ€I think I just broke my calculator-
omigod I relate too muchđhowâre yu so relatable- thatâs literally međI also relate to forgetting the good things and always remembering the bad things >:đit can really mess up yur mind Iâm so sorryđ
I think my dad heard the calculator smashing to the floor-
yeahđI have to remember really really well- I think I can tell yu what I have on sumdays without looking :0đ©·I cant even look my schedule isnât here-đ©·mm okie Monday I have english, arabic, science, dance,âŠ.uhhh wait-âŠâŠo yeah! history, math,(it was monday not thursday omg-) tuesday I have arabic, islamic, moral ed, science, art, pe- pretty simple so far- wednesday I haveâŠ..um wait-âŠ.wednesdayâŠshsjhiuwhâŠâŠo yeah :0đ€wednesday I have english, music, math, pe, French, arabic. thrusday I have :Pđhistory, IT, english, science, math French, and fridays a half day so I just have english, math, pe, science :Pđ€I just mix them up sumtimes and ofc I know them all on a saturday like whatâ ïž
english math moral ed arabic islamic french are on second floor history IT geography pe are on first floor drama music dance are on third floor science is on ground floor- what-
what really :0 su many cups hoomans have asked what my pronouns were :0đoo :0đhonestly.-đ€i just went on chatgpt and asked what that meant- I never want to ask the persun becos idk it feels disrespectful or rude becos i barely know anything about genders T^TđI just know..she/her he/him TvTđ©·and likeâŠyeah no nvm TvTđcan I ask what that means Iâm sorryđđ©·chatgpt isnât helping much-đ
Omgosh they're so cute! That first one just wants to be held đ
Ikrrđ„șđ„șđtheyre so preciousđđđđŸđstupidly cutu tiny lil fur ball babiesđ„șđđđđđđŸđ
@iloveyouxx Lol nope I haven't heard the back story of it. I'm one of the clueless đ Tbh it does look alittle creepy now that you mention it đŹ
@mytwistedsoul
okie so :0 my dad left the house and I donât really wanna spend too much time on repliesđ©·but obv yur so worth literally all the time in the whole universeđâšsu imma just..try and speed it upđ©·
@iloveyouxx Oh đŻ lol! Ok yeah it does give those vibes đ The creepy clown in the tunnel giving free hugs vibes. I'll never use a regular smiley face again đÂ
@iloveyouxx
that's so cute đÂ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
sum random screenshots from it toođđđ©·I literally stood there for so long reading a ton of things like this TvTđ :'Pđđ
@iloveyouxx
i canât upvote because iâve run out of hearts (fr this time :/) but i think those are pretty lovely đÂ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
me too >:đ©·thankyuđ<3 I was a teeeniie tiny weenie lil bit too confident ;-;đ€but I guess it did go well lolđđand I was the teachers favorite soâšđ/lh
@iloveyouxx
awww đ were they a nice teacher? đ (those are⊠um⊠rare đ lol)Â
@LoveMyMoonflowers
lmao fr ***^Tđi just assume theyâre so cruel becos they never even wanted to be a teacher or changed their mind in the process or sumthing becos why would yu even become a teacher in the first place..TvTđ
they were nice thođ©·idk how. they had meanie moments but..okie honestly. my class just stole the life from this teacherâŠT^Tđshe was and is so nice but my class was so brutal and evil and wbaughiđđpoor teacherâŠ.i guess it makes sense that I was the favorite :Pâšâšđ/j/j/j/j
ugh ew that againđ
I wroteÂ
"tho T^T"* but with no space- I made the same mistake before and it censored and I didnât know what it meant su I let my curiosity win and searched it up TvTđ€âŠ
@iloveyouxx
i just did the same thing đ i didnât know what it meant đ but now đ my curiosity đÂ
@iloveyouxx
yeah :/ idk why people who donât love teaching/donât love kids become teachers because thatâs what theyâre going to be doing for years and years, and theyâre more likely to do well in something they love doing/something theyâre passionate about. but n o p e âš good teachers are rare :( also i realised nothing i said made sense :) đÂ
awww. đ the students sound meanie mcbeanie too tbh :( teachers can bully students but i guess it can be the other way around too đ i can see why this nice teacher had you as her favourite đ /genÂ
*sends lots of love your way* đÂ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
what nuu that made so much sense :0đespecially becos like all yu have to do to become a teacher :')đitâs so much but they still choose itđđ©·good teachers being 1/200 :PPđ©·
âš*~scrolling back up and placing a tw here~*âš
:0 meanie mcbeanieâšđ„șđ trueđđdo yu ever wannaâŠ*deletes bullies*-TvTđ©·okieokie nu but the ones I know and not specifically to me are so heartless and just pure evil :') idk how they do it. I know I just cant tho.đ€sumone told their story about how they used to bully this kid in school and it turned into a ton of videos. they basically had a tough homelife and all that- sad. valid- but driving an autistic kind undeserving sweet innocent kid to suicide :') watching their smile fade away every single day. realizing theyâre broken and finding joy in that. literally their words :') the smile fading away the broken thing the severe pain they put them through- they humiliated embarrassed harassed threatened them and just hurt them the way they thought would..hurt them the most. they sent them like messages being all like if you tell anyone what Iâm doing Iâll (off) your family and just a ton of other threats. they just watched them become a soulless body because of them. and even in the beginning of the story they said the reason they chose them as a victim was because they were always really kind and sweet and a genuinely good person, and thatâs what made them an easy target :') idk. Iâm sorry I got carried away. I feel bad about the homelife or whatever but the whole story just really hurt my heart. I donât get people like these. I really donât get them.đ©·
lol fun fact about the teacher friend yu know her birthday is on leap year :0đ©·her existence so special and rare heheđđđand yus idk I suck at every subject and she knew that as my lead teacher :Pđbut god she kept picking me in like every celebration assembly for the lead class awardđđand thatâs nice butđyou had to walk like a red carpet and take a picture with the head of year infront of like 600+ people- ;-;- so I always asked them to remove my slide from the board and Iâd just take the certificate anywayđshe still smiles at me sumtimes and I see her teeniekids sumtimes and theyre so sweet like herđ
I love you.đ©·sending it back :Pđ©·sent loaf just goes right through me- save sum loaf for yurselfđ„șđđ
@iloveyouxx
âš ni is late, two days late, my new middle name is⊠super duper uber duber late âš (gosh that was so weird and didnât make sense đ)Â
better late than never :') i am finally here. đÂ
exactly :( thereâs a lot of training and stuff but now iâm wondering if those bad teachers actually paid attention during the training lmao? or idk⊠maybe they chose to be a teacher and halfway through studying to become one they thought they donât wanna do it anymore by then⊠too late⊠so⊠or maybe thatâs how it is with some people and itâs different with others. idk. everyone's situation/story would be unique i suppose đ i just wish teachers cared and realised that their roles in kids' lives are more important than they think they are.Â
nadia reading that was just⊠idk what to say, im so sorry. you donât understand them because you have a heart, you donât understand why they would be so sadistic and enjoy the suffering of another - because your the exact opposite of those bullies. đ iâm v sorry you go to a school where these kinds of people/bullies are in abundance :/ it really sucks. it just hurts. tw/mention of death - reading about how that kid got bullied⊠literally to the point of death⊠:') they must have felt so alone and hurt. bullying is not okay and⊠even though, ik it hurts in that school and people arenât nice to you at all and thatâs an understatement⊠:/ iâm glad, that at least thereâs you - who has a heart and sees the beauty in people and sees that bullying is wrong and horrible and just downright disgusting. the fact that those bullies took delight in hurting that kid is so⊠disgusting. tw/mention of murder - thatâs pretty much murder which makes those bullies⊠mmmm. :') :') iâm so sorry *big hugs* ik on top of everything you must be going through, it hurts your heart to see other people around you getting hurt too. đ
awww! đ thatâs actually so cool. đ your description of her makes me like her too now đ„ș *sends lots of love to her and the little teeniekids* đ
awww :( *sending some more love your way* iâll try to save some for myself, itâs hard though. please try to save some for yourself to nadia bean đ love you lovely hooman đ
I should probably start giving more code names-
the girl Iâm friendsish with and that got death threatened and has a ton of rumors about her (>:) Iâm gonna call her S
therere like 7 girls in this group now so bare with me.
1 L*
2 L
3 J
4 Y
5 J*
6 a*
7 f
8 o
9 A
10 b
there were more that Iâll remember in a second- o and yeah itâs more than 7-
and yeah- I just wrote out their names and kept the first letter-
