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in the wonders of my mind💗.

iloveyouxx March 17th

hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didn’t look like me🧐makes sense doesn’t it😛since there can only be one *me*✨one of a kind now arent I😁/sar. one out of 8118835999✨🌷can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss you’re also one of a kind💖 sorrysorry haha :P🤍im just messing around xD💞also it’s 2am- but shush no snitching🤫I’ll sleep in a while😁when I’m feeling a bit more sane :>😛🩷

wanted to have my own space.💜 for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.💙

to whoever's coming across :'3💜please dont lurk here.🩷 I know anyone can have access to this forum :')💙but please be respectful🩷.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :P💛 y’all get crazy nosy haha- it’s alright.💛nothing too interesting will be here anyway💛if you would like to come in and be supportive it’s completely okie💛but please don’t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limit💛because I’d still like this to be just my space ^-^💛)

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iloveyouxx OP May 10th

I complimented one of their makeup😭and I kept telling that specific girl all the time- no I keep telling her that she’s so pretty and that she’s literally gorgeous- and when she’d go on about her perfect bf I’d just compliment her the whole time all like yeah ofc like literally you can get any guy you want- and then she asked me if I had a bf and I said no I wasn’t as perfect as her and that everyone should be so jealous and all that- then another time she talked about this drama with another girl and I told her she was just jealous cos I mean look at you she literally just wants to be you and can’t get over her own insecurities- on random days I complimented her hair and makeup and some things she’d bring to school- 

id really never just blurt out infront of her friends "why do you wear so much make up- are you like insecure??" :’) I’m literally scared of her with her friends and it’s so obvious that she’s not a victim-

i don’t compliment her because we’re friends. she’s obsessed with herself and it makes her go crazy happy :’) as much as I hate her for hurting so many people I like seeing her happy. 

I didn’t even report her because I’m not even like that. 

Idk. I just feel like I didn’t really do anything and now they target me even more.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

2 of the girl in that group overheard us.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

they just kept staring at us-

which- really- I don’t care-..

the girl said if they ask we’ll just tell them I was explaining why I was pulled out. It’s not like I said anything bad.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

we already decided if they do anything after the head of year gave that speech we’re just reporting it.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

I’m so done like it’s such unnecessary drama. and those 2 girls lied to me about the fact that main girl in the group was planning to apologize and that they were already friends and talked the day before and all that. I hate being used as like someone that heard this and that it’s not funny because I genuinely thought they were just gonna stop.

2 replies
mytwistedsoul May 10th

@iloveyouxx Life is hard enough without outside people causing drama and making things worse than they need to be

1 reply

@mytwistedsoul

so true. :( 

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iloveyouxx OP May 10th

because I knew what my friend was reporting about and that’s the only reason they wanted to talk to me.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

they wanted to know because they knew it was about the main girl in that group so they wanted to tell her to apologize before the girl finds out and makes the drama worse.

and it was a lie.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

I didn’t tell them anything either way tho. I just said apparently sum group confronted her about sum stuff she never did. I didn’t say I knew it was them or anything like that.

iloveyouxx OP May 10th

oya I forgot :0 I can’t find the convo tho-

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that was the last of 20 slides but help😭😭-

23 replies

@iloveyouxx

that's so cute 💙 

11 replies
iloveyouxx OP May 10th

@LoveMyMoonflowers

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sum random screenshots from it too😭😛🩷I literally stood there for so long reading a ton of things like this TvT💜 :'P😭💓

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@iloveyouxx

i can’t upvote because i’ve run out of hearts (fr this time :/) but i think those are pretty lovely 💜 

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iloveyouxx OP May 10th
It’s obv really really blurry but it’s even sillier irl TvT-
iloveyouxx OP May 10th

how did I forget-

@mytwistedsoul


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mytwistedsoul May 10th

@iloveyouxx Aww that's ok I'm actually pretty forgettable tbh lol

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iloveyouxx OP May 10th

@mytwistedsoul

forgettable xD wait it didn’t put the red line thing- that’s actually a word😭🩷I thought it’d be forgetful but I guess that works too xD💖

me too tho my memory is so horrible TvT💜

the gif is so adorable🥺🤗💖

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mytwistedsoul May 10th

@iloveyouxx Yep it's  word! Do people get upset because you forget things? Aww glad you like it - I haven't see that one before today

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iloveyouxx OP May 10th

@mytwistedsoul

im sorry :0💙I didn’t mean to poof for so long💜being so popular can get overwhelming :D:💖/j/j/j/j/j/j/sar/sar/sar-🤍

mm idk. I hav no one to forget things about irl xD I’m almost mute irl. unless yu talk to me and I’m forced to talk to yu🩷I don’t forget names I think- I only forget sum when I- really deperately need to know them xD💜I forget things thu like what day it is and soul. every. single. time. I check the time😭every single time. I forget it in literally a second😭and then I check again and I’m like ohh yeah yeah yeah. and then I’m like wait what- and I swear I can’t remember it😭

and I forget classes. omg and soul yk we have this really specific schedule and yu have to look at it and for example it’d show yu have "Science G018" and g018 is where it’s meant to be- g is ground floor f first s second and t is third floor- that’s a ton more staircases than it should be- and the numbers aren’t even in order and every single thursday last 2 lessons I have math and history- idk in which order but- every single time I mix them up😭I just mainly forget the really really important things other than those :P🤍what about yu💜?

btw friend I never asked :0 and I don’t want to say anything wrong or anything and completely nfta but can I ask what yur pronouns are💙?/nfta

omggeeeee🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💓🩷💕🩷💖💗💗💖💜💓🩷💕💜💕💗I cannot😭😭😭😭🥺😭😭💓💗💓💗🩷💖

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mytwistedsoul May 10th

@iloveyouxx  Aww no worries 🙂 It get's kind of hectic trying to stay on top of things if there's a bunch of things going on here. And there's never a time line or time limit to reply

Tbh - this is pretty much the only place I socialize. I keep to myself most of the time - I don't have friends in real life. Anxiety makes me awkward and depression gives me no desire to even try anymore

I do that with the time too tbh I try to keep track of it too and i still loose track of it lol which is almost funny now that I think about it 😅 Tbh I forget alot of things. I can walk into a room and forget what I walked in for. I can forget what I'm saying while I'm saying it - which really screws up conversations with people because I feel stupid when that happens. Sometimes I forget where I'm going while I'm going there - that's always fun. I seem to be good at forgetting the good things but I always remember the bad things

Wow they have you running all over the place for classes! That would be so stressful too - maybe that's why you mix the them up and can't remember which one is first?

You don't have to worry about what you ask - If it's something I don't want to answer I just politely ignore it 😁 I don't freak out or anything. I think you might be the first person who's ever asked me my pronouns 🤔 I guess they're he/they

Omgosh they're so cute! That first one just wants to be held 😊

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iloveyouxx OP May 11th

@mytwistedsoul

omg soul :0💜haven’t yu heard about the 🙂 emoji backstory :0/lh💜i mean TvT🤍it’s okie when sum innocent clueless genuinely nice and with good intention hoomans use it but😭yu cant tell me it doesn’t look creepy….."🙂"😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💖/lh

thankyu for being so understanding💜 I love yu friend <3./p

>:💙that sounds really sad >:😞💙anxiety and depression are honestly so just the worst.💜it’s okay if socializing feels daunting right now. or like a whole task.💜I’m not gonna tell you to try and take small steps or any of that :')🩷because I know it’s not that simple.💙I know it can feel isolating💜ngl sum people aren’t really worth the energy huh xD🩷no socializing=no hurt is probably a bad mindset I need to get out of xD💜your effort is commendable even if it doesn’t feel that way🩷I relate to the anxiety thing way too much :')🤍way too much T^T🤍I think I just broke my calculator-

omigod I relate too much😭how’re yu so relatable- that’s literally me😭I also relate to forgetting the good things and always remembering the bad things >:💜it can really mess up yur mind I’m so sorry💙

I think my dad heard the calculator smashing to the floor-

yeah😭I have to remember really really well- I think I can tell yu what I have on sumdays without looking :0🩷I cant even look my schedule isn’t here-🩷mm okie Monday I have english, arabic, science, dance,….uhhh wait-……o yeah! history, math,(it was monday not thursday omg-) tuesday I have arabic, islamic, moral ed, science, art, pe- pretty simple so far- wednesday I have…..um wait-….wednesday…shsjhiuwh……o yeah :0🤍wednesday I have english, music, math, pe, French, arabic. thrusday I have :P💜history, IT, english, science, math French, and fridays a half day so I just have english, math, pe, science :P🤍I just mix them up sumtimes and ofc I know them all on a saturday like what☠️

english math moral ed arabic islamic french are on second floor history IT geography pe are on first floor drama music dance are on third floor science is on ground floor- what-

what really :0 su many cups hoomans have asked what my pronouns were :0💜oo :0💜honestly.-🤍i just went on chatgpt and asked what that meant- I never want to ask the persun becos idk it feels disrespectful or rude becos i barely know anything about genders T^T💙I just know..she/her he/him TvT🩷and like…yeah no nvm TvT💜can I ask what that means I’m sorry😭🩷chatgpt isn’t helping much-💜

Omgosh they're so cute! That first one just wants to be held 😊

Ikrr🥺🥺💖theyre so precious💖💖💎🐾💕stupidly cutu tiny lil fur ball babies🥺💖💕💖💗💎🐾💓

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mytwistedsoul May 11th

@iloveyouxx Lol nope I haven't heard the back story of it. I'm one of the clueless 😅 Tbh it does look alittle creepy now that you mention it 😬


It's not so much that they're not worth the energy I can try pretty hard but when it's a constant give to them and it drains me I have to take that step back or it burns me out. But I have to agree with no socializing= no hurt. And you're right it's not the healthiest mindset but it's not healthy or good to be hurt all the time either. The anxiety can catch me off guard sometimes because it seems to randomly pop up. I can be fine and talking to people here and all of a sudden my head says I'm being a pain or I'm annoying everyone and I get quiet. I'm sorry you can relate to the anxiety 😞 

I hope your calculator is ok and if it did break I hope your dad isn't upset about it

Remembering the bad and not so much of the good does really mess up your mind you're absolutely right about that. I read a lot of different reasons why that is but none of it seems to be certain. Everything from it's a defense mechanism to not having made enough good memories 

Maybe it's easier to remember your classes on the days you don't have school because you're not stressing about getting to them and you're not worrying about the people that might try to talk to you or pull you into drama of some sort?

You're learning Arabic? Wow that's so cool. It's such a beautifully written language. I can't read or understand any of it but I always liked the way it looks. Lol that probably sounds weird 😅

Tbh I put the they because it's genderless because if Im not a 100% certain what their gender is it's what I use when referring to someone. That probably doesn't really answer your question though lol - sorry about that 😬

I love all animals. I like animals more than most people lol because animals are pretty straight forward with their intentions and don't hide things like people do. The last one you posted - that tail 😊😂 too cute! 
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iloveyouxx OP May 11th

@mytwistedsoul

okie so :0 my dad left the house and I don’t really wanna spend too much time on replies🩷but obv yur so worth literally all the time in the whole universe🙄✨su imma just..try and speed it up🩷

"🙂wdym🙂don’t you wanna come play…🙂" 😭😭😭😭like- "I’m not planning your murder.🙂" "it’s okay.🙂" "….come play with me…..🙂"

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😞I’m su sorry..brainie is not meant to put you down >:🤍or be yur own bully D:🤍or put yu in such a negative place and mindset.🩷yur literally the best I’ve never ever seen yu be anything close to annoying or far from the best friend💜yur kind and empathetic but yur also so realistic and smart and genuine💖yu don’t put on that fake personality everyone does :P🤍I feel like..idk how to explain it or if this is an actual term but I feel like yur such a "solid" persun💜? by solid I mean..yu could talk to anyone or even just one persun for a long time and you’d still stay the amazinghooman yu are💗I know it’s confusing. but I know a lot of us have more "adaptive" personality types. but I just mean yur so yur own persun in literally the best way possible💖don’t doubt it :P I predicted the future- don’t doubt it :P💜

ehehehehe my dad didn’t find out- and it’s okay- sum buttons were kinda wonky I think :P diagonal and loose but I used my few brain cells and made it work again😎✨yay math :'D✨🫠

*goes on chatgpt* :P✨

"Remembering negative experiences more vividly than positive ones can be attributed to various psychological factors. One reason is evolutionary: our brains are wired to prioritize negative experiences as a survival mechanism. Negative events often signal potential threats, so our brains pay more attention to them to avoid similar dangers in the future. Additionally, negative memories tend to elicit stronger emotional reactions, making them more salient and easier to recall. This bias is known as negativity bias. However, individual differences, past experiences, and mental health factors also play roles in how people perceive and remember events."

whys the writing so huge :'P🩷

I love psychology sm I’ll try and figure it out :D💕
lol :P whys that so true :P yu really don’t get how horrible my school is. TvT🤍people are so obsessed with drama. seriously without it they’re literally nothing :') their whole lives are just lies and lies literally they’re so fake- not physically- we’re gonna ignore the 100pounds of cakey makeup and the weekly hair treatments- becos we’re not like that. but their personality, the way they talk, act, their literal life☠️guys here are so..- I don’t wanna like categorize them but they’re all so disgusting and they’re always sexualizing and saying disgusting things and being "gay" and doing that weird snsgnyus idk- everyone vapes and they sell it and they sell blades and they made a lot of money. 9 year olds vape. anywho I just got this realization that no one asked su I’m gonna make this text teenie instead of deleting it :3 sorry :3 idk why I’m so uncontrollably annoying-

nouu I’m forced to😭idk it’s one of the main(barely anyone speaks it-)languages here so if yur from a like idk arabic country? or sumthing with a passport idk. than yu go right to one of the arabic A classes and if yur completely not like for example idk american yu go to one of the arabic B classes. and don’t judge TvT but both my parents are fully from a country that put me in arabic a. everyone’s so stereotypical about it so I’m not gonna say it obv😭everyone says I don’t "look" like I’m from that country at all😭like wow?😭it’s kinda insulting in a way becos- I’m not complimenting myself- but I’m stereotypically in this country.."pretty"- and everyone links being from my country to being "ugly" T^T. It’s kinda sad but o well :P🩷I just really *really* suck at arabic- my arabic teacher is so mean tho😭I swear she hates me- she despises me- I’m gonna stop talking too much :3🩷

XDDD nu the writing is pretty✨I understand it fully- I can kinda speak it but not formal arabic at all- I suck at reading with all the pronunciations but I can read as long as I take my time lmao :P💕

what no it’s okay :0💜chatgpt gave completely different answers- so is that like..born male but..wait what- hold on xD💙su is it being born male but- the theys just there xD🤍? lol idk😭I’m not that smart :P🧠🫠🩷su is it like..wait but yur explaining why you’d refer to sumone else as they- so..are yu not 100% certain what yur gender is-?🤍or like- idk idk😭becos sum pronouns have such complicated meaning but I feel like yur just going with what yu wanna be called/referred as xD💜so okayokay..born male but not 100% certain or like wouldn’t really like to identify as it/put a label on it🤍? yeah idk TvT💜

ikr I needa save that🥺😭😂💓fr all my relatives cats just directly show that they only love me when I spoil them😎✨but at least they’re honest :D💕I love cats so much. I’m way too obsessed- I have a whole cat album filled with 600+ cat photos- I have cat presentations and projects- I try to convince my family to get me a cat everyday- I scream at the sight of a cat ;-;- I showed my grandma an adorable cat video and she said it looked scary and what was I on about😭😭😭and every time I’m smiling at my screen she and so many people know it’s cos of cats ;-; I have cat drawings on all my school books TvT I know it seems like whatever everyone else says :D🩷but idk how others aren’t obsessed with them they’re just eugjdjwxudwxnyxdwud😭💕🐾oya and I have way too many cat facts stored in my brains :3 the space yur meant to fill with all that math you’ll never use in yur life again :P

friend I need yur opinion T^T💜I found this like years ago. a cat online labeled the ugliest(even scariest-) cat in the world. I’ll tell yu their name in a second :P💜they’re literally so innocent and cute I feel so bad😭🩷they’re just a hairless kinda wrinkly cat with an automatic grumpy face- but everyone only shows the bad side >: there’re such cutu photos of this cat at like birthday parties and in costumes and it just shows their baby cutu sweet side💓💕💖"xherdan cat" :P 

I took too long writing this :0 I got way too talkative I’m sorry🩷(I’m sorry- :p)I’m just gonna- poof✨💜tcccc🤍

1 reply
mytwistedsoul May 12th

@iloveyouxx Oh 😯 lol! Ok yeah it does give those vibes 😅 The creepy clown in the tunnel giving free hugs vibes. I'll never use a regular smiley face again 😂 

Idk what to say to that 😅 except thank you for saying such nice things about me. I actually think that is a saying - being a solid person. Tbh there have been people here that I have talked to for years here. Not many but a few. Just keeping it real ya know? 

Hey I'm glad you were able to fix your calculator! Would your dad have been upset if you had to tell him it broke? I mean accidents do happen. Unless you tossed it because you were frustrated - which with math that's totally understandable. Math 😝 

Don't you just love when you ask a question online and it gives you an answer that is nothing but confusing? 
I guess some people need the drama because without it their lives would be empty and boring? They do it to fit in and hope to be popular. For some reason they think that if they're popular people will respect them. The sad thing is that their fakeness is met with the fakeness of their "friends" These are people who just agree with them because if they don't - they'll be tossed aside and forgotten. It's so sad that these kids are doing this stuff at such a young age. But I bet they pretend to be older - cooler all for attention. It would be really hard to have to face that kind of environment everyday 😞 I'm sorry you have to deal with that. 

Aww no I don't think you're annoying at all! What makes you think that you are? 

It's ok to compliment yourself. 😊 I mean it kind of always feels wrong but it's like self affirmations. That would be hard to hear though 😞 They sound like they're really judgemental where you are and try to fit everyone in a box. Because you're "ABC" you go in this box but all the "DEF" people go in this box. *smh* Because it seems like they have expectations you need to fulfill just because you're a certain bunch of letters
No wonder you have trouble with Arabic! It's harder to learn from someone like that. You're probably tense in her class because you don't want her to attention 😞 You might worry so much about doing things right so she doesn't yell at you and I know for me the harder I try not to make a mistake the quicker and more often I do. You'd probably do much better with a different teacher 💙

Lol yep it definitely is just more confusing 😂 Can I change that they to him? I'll make it easy lol because I don't question being a he 😊 

I hope you can talk them into letting you get a kitten. I think everyone should be able to have a pet. And cats you don't have to take for a walk in the rain. Oh he's a sphinx cat! He has beautiful eyes! I think he's kind of cute and definitely not scary. I wonder if he needs special care because of not having hair 🤔 He might get sunburned pretty quick or cold
Hey I figure there are worse things than cats or kittens you could be obsessed with ya know? 
Omg I wrote you a book 😂😅
I'll leave you with a picture of Pita 😊
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iloveyouxx OP May 10th

I should probably start giving more code names-

the girl I’m friendsish with and that got death threatened and has a ton of rumors about her (>:) I’m gonna call her S

therere like 7 girls in this group now so bare with me.

1 L*

2 L

3 J

4 Y

5 J*

6 a*

7 f

8 o

9 A

10 b

there were more that I’ll remember in a second- o and yeah it’s more than 7-

and yeah- I just wrote out their names and kept the first letter-